THE BEAUTIFUL IMBALANCE

With gay men focusing more on outer appearance, and less on sexual health and emotional wellbeing, this imbalance can impact on us as individuals and as a community.

It’s a good thing that gay men are more inclined to take care of their bodies. But a super-fit body doesn’t mean that you’ve got a super-healthy mind. A lot of the men you see at gyms started going there because they felt insecure about the way they looked and, truth to tell, no matter how hard you pump your pecs there’s always going to be someone bigger, sleeker or more toned than you. The insecurities that drive so many men to the gym usually don’t evaporate, even if they do manage to acquire killer abs. It’s easy to get insecure, especially on the scene. Insecurity itself is usually unattractive so it can become a vicious spiral.

Unless we learn to prioritize our wellbeing over the façade, the polarity of these conflicting needs may lead us to self-destruct. Attempts to reconcile this hyper-vigilant fear of rejection with our super-groomed façades are leading to a culture of self-medication with sex and drugs. We can deny it, leave it to others to address, we can say it’s just a certain ‘type’ of gay man. Or we can say it’s us, ourselves, our community that this is affecting and deal with it.