I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, December 31, 2006



A moment in…TIME is a strange thing you can't actually see it, feel it, or hear it but it always is there…Never the same~Continuously moving…Going away so swiftly it wanders. You can’t hold it back, you travel right threw it, but it makes the rules. How can we slow it down? Slow down and wait until we're ready? This never ending speeding is constantly leaving us behind, leaving us lost in the moment…HOW DO WE STOP TIME? TIME GOES BY TURNS...TIME CHANGES AS TIME GOES BY...

@ YEAR'S END PLEASE REMEMBER THAT...All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having. It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.


Like with every new day and every new night, the birth of a new bloom and every new wave that shapes the shore. May the coming year be filled with creativity, refreshing, challenging and successful. Let your knowledge be tested bearing the ripe fruits of wisdom. And may the breath of God forever reshape you making every angle that is a lesson learnt and a new strength created a model of what you are and who you want to become....TAKE THIS WITH U 2 THE NEW YEAR AND MAKE IT A GREAT ONE...

Saturday, December 30, 2006


Though we humans are self-aware, we nonetheless cannot distance ourselves from the world around us and have a natural tendency to ascribe meaning to all that we experience. The significance we perceive in our experiences is rooted in our observation of patterns as they relate to ourselves. One situation has the power to teach us about life because it exposes us to something unfamiliar. Another touches our emotions deeply by enabling us to see how fortunate we are. Yet our initial impressions of an experience may not wholly reveal the true significance of that occurrence because our full response to an experience is like an onion with many layers that all have disparate meanings. Consider that a sunrise may stun us visually while simultaneously evoking memories of childhood and reminding us that each new day is a rebirth. If you take the time to examine your experiences closely, you will discover that your original impressions may only be a part of a larger story of significance. Peeling away the layers of an event or incident can be a fun and interesting process if you allow it. To begin, relive your experience in your mind's eye and from multiple perspectives if possible. Your interpretation of any situation is based not only on facts but also on feelings, beliefs, and your values. As you ruminate upon your experience, spend a few moments contemplating how you felt when it began and how your feelings had changed by its end. Ask yourself what abstractions, if any, it awakened in your mind. If an experience stirs up questions within your soul, it may be that in striving to answer them a new layer of meaning may reveal itself to you. The significance of an experience may remain hidden to you for some time. The meaning of an event can change when viewed from another context or may only become apparent after intense meditation. An incident that seemed superficial may unexpectedly touch us deeply later in our lives. If you take a truly open-minded approach to your examination of each new level and do not shy away from revelations that could prove painful, you will learn much about your relationship to the world around you. And the refined impression you glean from your experiences after contemplating their significance can add a new richness and texture to your life.

Friday, December 29, 2006


As we endeavor to find personal fulfillment and realize our individual ideals, we naturally form emotional attachments to those outcomes we hope will come to pass. These expectations can serve as a source of stability, allowing us to draft plans based on our visions of the future, but they can also limit our potential for happiness by blinding us to equally satisfying yet unexpected outcomes. Instead of taking pleasure in the surprising circumstances unfolding around us, we mourn for the anticipation left unfulfilled. When we think of letting go of our expectations, we may find ourselves at the mercy of a small inner voice that admonishes us to strive for specific goals, even if they continually elude us. However, the opposite of expectation is not pessimism. We can retain our optimism and free ourselves from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening our hearts and minds to a wide variety of possible outcomes. When we expect a situation, event, or confrontation to unfold in a certain way, it becomes more difficult to enjoy the surprises that have the potential to become profound blessings. Likewise, we may feel that we failed to meet our inner objectives because we were unable to bring about the desired results through our choices and actions. Consider, though, that we are all at the mercy of the universal flow, and our best intentions are often thwarted by fate. As you grow increasingly open to unforeseen outcomes, you will be more apt to look for and recognize the positive elements of your new circumstances. This receptivity to the unexpected can serve you well when you are called upon to compromise with others, your life plans seem to go awry, or the world moves forward in an unanticipated manner by granting you the flexibility to see the positive aspects of almost any outcome. The further you distance yourself from your expectations, the more exhilarating your life will become. Though a situation in which you find yourself may not correspond to your initial wants, needs, or goals, ask yourself how you can make the most of it and then do your best to adapt. Your life's journey will likely take many unpredicted and astonishing twists because you are willing to release your expectations.

Thursday, December 28, 2006


It is our natural inclination to judge people, since it happens without our even thinking about it. We take one look and summarize a whole person-overweight, pretty, stylish, and sloppy. This habit comes from the mind's need to categorize the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed. When we judge, we are looking for pertinent information, trying to determine whether the person approaching is a threat, an ally, or someone we don't need to worry about. This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in our daily lives it leads to an overly simplistic reading of the people we meet. If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a dear friend once you got to know them, you know the hazards of the judgment cycle firsthand. An experience like that may have led you to soften your natural tendency to believe your first impressions. We will always notice things about the people we meet, but as we become more conscious of the shortcomings of judgment, we won't be satisfied with our surface observations. We may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but we will decide whether to befriend her based on getting to know her over time. We will not rule out a friendship with someone with messy hair, especially if he turns out to have a great sense of humor and a kind heart. Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have gotten to know them. Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, try to send love, light, or blessings to the person you were judging. Then try to listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn something about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that with practice, you will successfully disable your habitual patterns. As you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of the people you meet.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


GAY MEN, IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS! No more pathetic excuses about not being ready, or not being able to get along…It’s time for US to embrace the MOVEMENT and get our community to the place it SHOULD be…it COULD be…it WOULD be…IF ONLY WE CAN GET IT TOGETHER AND TAKE A SERIOUS STAND ONCE AND FOR ALL! I am tired of seeing US travail in such sorrow. I am tired of watching US seek LOVE in places that offers nothing. And by now, we are clear: Politicians can't fix this problem. Preachers can't fix it. There's only one real way to ensure that WE have the best chance to succeed in this life. WE must LOVE ourselves! WE must learn to be REAL, HONEST & OPEN. Now so many of US have ignored the signs that do more harm than good. These elements have negative consequences that are now overtaking our communities in the form of LIES, MANIPULATIONS & HATRED. I hope that YOU know that this is not an attack…THIS IS JUST ANOTHER GAY MAN’S PLEA…

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


So by now all of you should know that when ever I visit the local GAY bars or CLUBS I feel incline to write about the things I see, taste, hear, feel and touch. This one is about the way MEN deal with each other…pity they can’t date first…GUESS THIS HAS TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND FIRST…You think that they know that finding someone who is settled and content with being with one person is often hard to find these days. The minute you find someone you think is the one, they're out looking for someone else. Outside appearance, including genital size and body build are not the determining factors I seek. I look for someone with a good heart and who is content with one. They so caught up that they never stop to notice that everything that GLITTERS isn’t GOLD! That 220 lbs 6” man with 32” waist with a master degree may seem good on paper, but in reality what is he about? What kind of MAN would he be to you? I know that I’ve accepted the realities of the same gender loving relationships, have they? You think that because they are constantly looking for FINE ASS MAN they see on TV that they are over looking the ones that can’t compare to that? Too many of them are looking for the outward appearance and not inside. To me if a person is ugly on the inside I could care less about the outside cause all that really matters is what is on the inside. These men are just not into companionship; they are limited by their physical actions and just get a LOVE that lasts for the moment and not a LIFETIME. You would think that they know that love isn’t something that falls in your lap; it is something has to be cultivated with time and tenderness. I NOW WONDER HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE? HOW MANY TIMES ARE GONNA LIE TO YOURSELF JUST TO FEEL LOVE FOR A MOMENT? HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA SAY THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT? HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME ASK?

Monday, December 25, 2006


When it comes to our families, we sometimes see only our differences. We see the way our parents cling to ideas we don’t believe, or act in ways we try not to act. We see how practical one of our siblings is and wonder how we can be from the same gene pool. Similarly, within the human family we see how different we are from each other, in ways ranging from gender and race to geographical location and religious beliefs. It is almost as if we think we are a different species sometimes. But the truth is, in our personal families as well as the human family, we really are the same. So this holiday season I would like for each and everyone of us to acknowledge how close we all are, instead of clinging to what separates us, enables us to feel less alone in the world. Every person we meet, see, hear, or read about, is a member of our family. We are truly not alone. We also begin to see that we are perfectly capable of understanding and relating to people who, on the surface, may seem very different from us. This awareness prevents us from disconnecting from people on the other side of the tracks, and the other side of the world. We begin to understand that we must treat all people for what they are—family. APPRECIATE THE GIFT OF LIFE THAT HAS BEEN CAST UPON U!

Sunday, December 24, 2006


I Am The Christmas Spirit
-=-=-=-=-=-= -
I enter the home of poverty,
causing pale-faced children to open their
eyes wide in pleased wonder.
I cause the miser's clutched hand to relax,
and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.
I cause the aged to renew their youth
and to laugh in the glad old way.
I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood,
and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.
I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways
with filled baskets, leaving behind hearts
amazed at the goodness of the world.
I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild,
wasteful way, and send to anxious love some little token
that releases glad tears -tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.
I enter dark prison cells,
reminding scarred manhood of what might have been,
and pointing forward to good days yet to come.
I come softly into the still, white home of pain,
and lips that are too weak to speak
just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.
In a thousand ways I
cause the weary world to look up into the face of God
and for a little moment forget the things
that are small and wretched.
I am the Christmas Spirit.

Friday, December 22, 2006


If I am your baby, please touch me.
I need your touch in ways you may never know.
Don’t just wash and change and feed me,
Rock me close, kiss my face and stroke my body.
Your soothing, gentle touch says security and love.
If I am your teenager, please touch me.
Don’t think because I’m almost grown,
I don’t need to know that you still care.
I need your loving arms, I need a tender voice.
When the road gets rocky, then the child in me still needs.
If I am your friend, please touch me.
Nothing lets me know you care like a warm embrace.
A healing touch when I’m depressed assures me I am loved
and reassures me that I am not alone.
Yours may be the only comforting touch I get.
If I am your life partner, please touch me.
You may think that your passion is enough,
but only your arms hold back my fears.
I need your tender reassuring touch to remind me I am loved just because I am me.
If I am your grown-up child, please touch me.
Though I may have a family of my own to hold,
I still need Mummy’s and Daddy’s arms when I hurt.
As a parent the view is different, I appreciate you more.
If I am your aging parent, please touch me
the way I was touched when I was very young.
Hold my hands, sit close to me, give me strength,
and warm my tired body with your nearness.
Although my skin is worn wrinkled, it loves to be stroked.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Have you ever been in a situation where you had to grow up? Have you ever sacrifice yourself in order to elevate yourself to the next level? Have you ever been the right person, but in the wrong time? WELL I HAVE…it might seem crazy to you or a bit off the wall but when you know who you are, what you want and what it will take to get it you have to make a choice and I did…I found myself at a point in my life that I hadn’t plan, I know we can’t control our lives, but nonetheless here I am…So here I am at a cross-road and I’ve been intimate with 21 MEN at this point and the crazy thing is that it doesn’t phase me one bit. Sure I know how others view me, but I know that we are our worst critic. Makes me wonder what does one do when you've reach a place in your life that wasn't planned? RAISE A GLASS & TIP YOUR HAT? I could but the funny thing is that I don't drink and I don't wear hats I've MADE LOVE TO a few…and a few I just F&CK. However I've learned a lot about THEM and MYSELF. I've learned that no matter how many times I CUM, the provincial, conservative and sometimes oppressing views I had about sex and sexuality has changed. I have become increasingly more aware that sexuality itself is a fluid, dynamic, and evolving state of being versus the stagnant views I had in my mind. What was once thought to be a sexual taboo is now a commonly accepted sexual thought. I am now focusing on sexuality, sensuality and love. Each time I partake in filling sexual desires I came to a new realization about my existence and each person told a different story, all however was loosely connected together primarily by the amount of passion, life, vitality and eroticism. When I reflect on where I’ve come from and where I am now it amazes me; I’ve somehow magically developed into a tender, same-gender-loving…MAN with a bittersweet SOUL. I’ve fought for my right to be who I am and to do what I want…When I think of myself loving another man when I was younger there was tension and turmoil followed by a distant display of ‘LOVE.’ I was the stereotypical confused GAY man struggling in angst over my thoughts on the life I wanted versus my illicit sexual activity. Now that I am GROWN now, I am much OLDER and WISER…I am more erotically and emotionally advanced, I now understand that what I had before was only the salad before the main course. SO EACH AND EVERY MAN THAT I’VE THE PLEASURE OF BEING INTIMATE WITH I SAY THANK U…I AM WHO I AM BECAUSE OF U & THIS PART OF WILL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL TO YOU…

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


What is your definition of a Man? If you ask that question to a group of men you'll hear many different answers depending upon environment and upbringing. Some may say he is a man when he has reached a certain age, some may say when he has moved out from under mom's roof and has his own car and apartment, and some believe that making a certain amount of money is attaining manhood. None of these things, however, are characteristics of a man. Manhood is a process, a transition from maleness.

As you can see there are some distinctions between males and men. Being a man is not easy, especially when you understand a man's roles and responsibilities. I was speaking with a brother one day, and he said to me, "Bro, this being a man thing is hard!" I knew exactly where he was coming from. Walking in manhood can be overwhelming because were going through the process of being reshaped, renewed, restored and completely retrained. Most of us have been operating as males with sprinklings of manhood. For example, some of us may find a good woman, marry her, provide for her financially, sometimes emotionally, and do most things right. After about nine months to a year when she starts "trippin" because we're hanging out with the fellas, that's when we meet the other woman and revert to being a male. You see, a man has emotions but is not ruled by them. So when his wife starts "trippin", he doesn't allow her actions to dictate his reaction. A man understands that he is held accountable by God for the way he treats his wife regardless of the way she may be treating him.

God created man to have dominion, to be a ruler, and to master his environment He created us in the beginning to be totally dependent on Him, He taught us directly. He instructed us and gave us our assignments. So, the making of a man was founded in and through Him. The only way this transition into manhood can take place is that we go back to Him.


Does not carry a grudge

Looks to better himself

He invests in his success

Gives to his community

Is measured by his character

Is a protector and committed

Word is his bond

A Real man is a leader

Thinks with is big head

Uses his intellect and emotions to make decisions


Looks for ways to get even

Complains that he has to stay where he is

Uses others to get ahead

Takes from his community

Is measured by his sex drive

Views a person as an object of pleasure, and isn't committed to anything!

Has no word, he will tell you what you want to hear

Is a follower

Thinks with his little head

Makes emotional decisions



Monday, December 18, 2006


Most people don't always fully realize that we all have within us the ability to co create our lives with the universe. So many of us are taught to accept what we are given and not even to dream of anything more. But our hopes and dreams are the universe whispering to us, planting an idea of what's possible while directing us toward the best use of our gifts. The universe truly wants to give us our hearts' desires, but we need to be clear about what they are and ask for them. To ask for something does not mean to beg or plead from a place of lack or unworthiness. It's like placing an order-we don't need to beg the salesperson for what we want or prove to them that we deserve to have it. It is their job to give us what we ask for; we only have to tell them what we want. Once we have a clear vision of what we desire, we simply step into the silent realm where all possibilities exist and let our desires be known. Whatever methods we use to become still, it is important that we find the quiet space between our thoughts. From that still and quiet place, we can announce our intentions to the pure energy of creation. By imagining all the details from every angle, including scent, color, and how it would feel to have it, we design our dreams to our specifications. Similar to dropping a pebble into a pond, the ripples created by our thoughts travel quickly from this place of stillness, echoing out into the world to align and orchestrate all the necessary details to bring our desires into manifestation. Before leaving this wonderful space to come back to the world, release any attachment to the outcome and express gratitude. By doing this daily, we focus our thoughts and our energy while regularly mingling with the essence that makes it possible to build the life of our dreams.

Sunday, December 17, 2006


There is no secret recipe for happiness and contentment. The individuals who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, love, success, and prosperity. Such people have, however, been blessed with the ability to take the circumstances they've been handed and make them into something great. Our individual realities are colored by perception-delight and despair come from within rather than without. Situations we regard as fortuitous please us while situations we judge inauspicious cause us no end of grief. Yet if we can look at all we have accomplished without dwelling on our perceived misfortune and make each new circumstance our own, the world as a whole becomes a brighter place. A simple shift in attitude can help us recognize and unearth the hidden potential for personal and outer world fulfillment in every event, every relationship, every duty, and every setback. The universe is often an unpredictable and chaotic place, and the human tendency is to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself. But life can be no more or no less than what you make of it. If you are working in a job you dislike, you can concentrate on the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with gusto. What can you do with this job that can turn it around so you do love it? When faced with the prospect of undertaking a task you fear, you can view it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing. Similarly, unexpected events, when viewed as surprises, can add flavor to your existence. By choosing to love life no matter what crosses your path, you can create an atmosphere of jubilance that is wonderfully infectious. A change in perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you must be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set. To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must learn to observe life's complexities through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must furthermore divest yourself of preconceived notions of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights concealed in each stage of your life's journey. And you must strive to discover the dual joys of wanting what you have. As you gradually shift your perspective, your existence will be imbued with happiness and contentment that will remain with you forever.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


(not actual jogger)
Have you met the forgiving jogger? I have...He is 5"8 175 lbs and lacks SELF-ESTEEM! If you know his story you would wonder how that came to be. This about it, HE took a supposingly STRAIGHT MAN from his WOMAN and didn't have the BALLS or COMMON SENSE to know that someone was sneaking some D!CK from HIS man...I know that he knew that his man was cheating on him, how could he not? He just pretended that it wasn't happening or just assumed that he know...either way he is DUMB ASS MOTHER F&CKER...But when one thinks about it, you get what give... he took this man from someone, so it's perfectly fitting that someone take him away...ISN'T IT? But no matter how he got his man, no one deserves to be cheated on...I know that had to hurt, seeing it with his own eyes, can't run from it's there in plain sight...I honestly don't know if he could fully forgive him for cheating. It would depend on what the relationship had been like up until that point. When it's been a pretty smooth road, then it's easier to give things a go after one partner cheats. But if things have been rough, with a lot of ups and downs, I think he should probably just walk, no matter how much he loves him. I know that I am on the outside looking in, but don’t you think that I have a better view because I am not involved? I mean I can’t know what they feel, but I do know there are absolutes in this world and when a person cheats that’s LOUD and CLEAR! He is most likely addicted to the sex/affection and ignoring signs that this man is not good for him. If you really view someone as long term material you will not cheat on them, period. If a person does that they are saying that sex with someone else is more important then being with you. Can you imagine him saying, ‘Honey getting in this next man’s ASS was more important that preserving the purity of our relationship, sorry that's the deal?’ Do you think that they know that once the bed has been crapped in it will never be the same, and the relationship is probably doomed at some point? Do you think they are aware that every time you screw a past lover it sets you that far back again in moving on? I am going to play DEVIL’S advocate and ask why it happened. What was the connection like before, and what sort of connection can there be now given trust is shattered? Is there a rational (not emotional) reason to believe that he can change remembering that past behavior is the best predictor of future actions. Remember the bad - those who forget the past will repeat it - but also realize that it is possible for people to shape a different future if they have the courage. My point is this - to just want to get back with you probably is about sex. If, however, he has addressed the problem(s) and is willing to do the hard work, including earning your trust all over again, then at least listen. Don't jump into bed - don't trust his words, for words unsupported by actions are lies. Instead, watch his actions, keep your radar going, get out there and fill your life with other events and people. Don't give him the chance to get back with you the way it was - that will end in failure. Instead, if you MUST give him a chance, make him earn your friendship and renewed trust first. Given all of that over the course of months if not years, then maybe ... and even then, just maybe. Please remember that infidelity has been a feature of human relationships since the dawn of time. Keeping a MAN is a fight against nature, but that doesn't mean that we're biologically driven to stray. Culture, environment, upbringing, and so on are equally powerful forces. A young person raised to value being faithful will find that he or she can easily overcome impulses to cheat because of his or her strong moral stance…PLEASE BE AWARE THAT YOU HAVE A CHOICE. WHAT WILL YOU ACCEPT? CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF? CAN YOU DEAL WITH A LIFE THAT’S EMOTIONALLY DRAINING? I SAY NO YOU CAN’T…I WILL SAY THAT WHEN I SEE YOU ON MY WAY TO WORK JOGGING TRYING TO OUT-RUN YOUR PROBLEMS, I WILL HIT THEM WITH MY CAR TO KEEP THEM FROM CATCHING UP 2 U…

Friday, December 15, 2006


He doesn’t want to look @ me…face his SEXUALITY. He doesn’t know who he is or where he is going…HEAVEN forbids if he became what he sees in me…JUS A SISSY…You call me a BATTY BOY, pretending you are shock that I exist…FUNNY that are eyes lock and I can tell that you want my D!CK N’ ASS. But before you get on that PEDESTAL and send my FUCKING SISSY ASS on the GREEN MILE please consider that I am the wearer of the shoes that you want and I know where it pinches.
Therefore, I advise you to put yourself in my shoes and find out where exactly the shoe pinches. I am a total stranger to you and you have a pretty good idea how you have affected me; I’ve come to realize that you must have been placed in the position you are trying to place me in. funny how we human beings have this ability to mentally put ourselves in the "shoes" of the other person while staying physically in our own shoes. In fact, you did more than just stepping into my shoes; you "get inside the skin" of ME, feeling things through the skin of ME, hearing things from the ears of ME and seeing things from the eyes of that ME…becoming ME!

You are the actor who plays the role of MY character; you are "embodied" into ME. As you become me, you develop insights into the person you are dying to be. I know that I have the ability to excel you to the next level…CARE TO BE CHALLENGE? I am the YING to your YANG. I would love to show you the beauty of man, show you how unkind you are…LIVING YOUR LIFE BLIND! I am so sorry that you are lost and confused. I understand that you act this way because you see the fullness of my heart and it blew your world apart…FUNNY how you knew it from the start, but you tried to cast your woes upon me…YOU WANTED ME TO BE THE THING THAT YOU HATE! I know I am a sight to behold…I am a MAN that has a SOUL full of GRACE…someone YOU should try to be and not just emulate in secret. I AM THE ARTIST IN YOUR LIFE, I CREATE IMAGES & COLORS THAT SHOW THE CONFLICT IN YOUR LIFE, SO THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME DON’T FIGHT WHAT YOU FEEL…JUST EMBRACE THAT I SHOW YOU WHAT YOU ARE!

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Ok, here he cums with his 10.5" D!CK telling me he is horny and how wants to F&CK me so badly...He is pratically begging for my ASS, thinks he as wot it takes to give me a good time. Here he goes again...Come and take a seat on daddy’s big dick and I am sure you'll want more. He event on to say that, 'it's thick and long, hard as stone' and he is going to take me to heaven...GUESS HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT HEAVEN IS OVER-RATED & WOT HE SELLING I AIN'T BUYING...GUESS HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I HAVE SEEN HIS TIRED OLD ASS AROUND TOWN & I WOULD HAVE TO BE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY DESPARATE TO GET WITH A PIECE OF SH!T LIKE HIM...The nerve of someone like him to think he can get a DIAMOND like me, how can I just give up on life like that? How can he ask that of me? DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?

So the other night I met this guy in cyber-space and he went on to tell me how wanted a man's touch so badly but he isn't out there @ all, he is DL. So me being the spawn of Satan that I am played up to notion that this man carried in his head. I too told him that I a was DL which of course eased his soul and finally he could get what his ass been aching for. Funny thing to me is that I wondered how many men he told that he is DL? How many times can that line be used before one realizes that if one SISSY knows, it ain't that long till others find out. How can a man live in such fear of his sexuality that he lies to family who on some level knows but can't pin-point it. How can he splash up in a woman and know that he isn't on the up & up...DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


I am all for equality and I praise the difference that make up the rainbow of this world. However I realized that I can't get with a guy that is a drag queen. Sadly I know that it's just an impersonation, but the men here take it into their personalities and become Ms. whoever they are portraying @ the time. Can you see me now with my legs up in the air getting busy with a QUEEN just piling D!CK on me, sweating HER ass off with face powder dripping on me? HELLS NO!...DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?

THE M&M's:

Ok now these are the ones that I find interesting, they find some poor girl who wants to believe that the man she is with wants her and her alone. Sadly she is the only woman he wants because he doesn't want any other...She can't slip in between his ASS with 10" D!CK waiting to tap his prostate unless she is using a dildo and most men aren't that open-minded. So they prowl the 'DARK FOREST' in search of prey that will devour them and give the pleasure they know won't come from a woman. They are all on the internet seek that DL man...that queen that still in so strange way make him feel like he isn't GAY anymore. So do you think that when this loser rolls my way seeking a piece of the action he will get it? Do you think that he has what it takes to ask me to help him see just how much he hates himself? Do you think he has what it takes to send a vibration my way? So DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


These men are so unbelievable; they hit up on line with their slang and think it's cool to speak the way do. I certainly don't speak the Queen's English, but I myself know that the way they speak shows that are only perpetrating what the world say that they should all about. Funny they would think that are the epitome of MAN all the while being told how to talk, dress, walk, eat, sleep…DAMN EVEN HOW TO F&CK! This men are made by the world and so to you I say… DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


Ok here it comes; you meet him right, he comes all shy and innocent. He is all down for sex but doesn’t know if he wants to go there because he isn’t like that…NOW HERE I AM THINKING WTF? SHOULD I SAY IT? YES I SHOULD IT’S MY BLOG…UMMM SWEETS YOU PRETEND AS IF U DON’T HAVE SEX THAT OFTEN BUT YOUR UNTIGHT ASS BEGS TO DIFFER…I say its so funny to see the games he plays, pretending that my D!CK can’t get in and all the MOANING & GROANING…DAMN I AM GETTING HARD (YEAH RIGHT)…B!TCH PLEASE, you are an easy F&CK from the moment you sent out that S. O. S. for someone to ease the tension in your ass and that landed on my doorstep, u know and I know that you are an easy F&CK….I don’t think that I need ask but just in case… DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


So how many times have you met MR. PROFESSIONAL, MR. BUSINESS MEETING…MR. I ONLY 2 MINS BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY TO BREATHE? I for one has met one too many of these men and the funny thing is that are in a place where they’ve made it financially. However they’ve lost their humanity and don’t care about those around him that could use some help from time to time. I know it’s their money and shits but haven’t you been taught that money go, money come? These men are caught in their own physiological bullshit that they are transferring their own thoughts and feeling on others that they themselves would do if in that situation…NOW THE INTERESTING FOR ME HERE IS THAT I’VE BEEN F&CK BY THIS KINDA MAN BEFORE…OK A FEW TIMES BUT I CAN NOW SAY… DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


You’ve met him a thousand times before, he fears losing out on LOVE and when it happens he pretends as if it didn’t happen. He tries to hide the pain in his heart but you can see it in his eyes. He is taking a long sleepwalk through life; ignoring the voice in his head that tells him that he is fighting a losing battle…for he can’t be loved if he doesn’t have love for himself…HE CONSTANTLY WAITS FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE HIMEVEN JUST A LITTLE! His lack of confidence makes him a cynic and his human condition prevents him from being truly at ease. His doors to self-love are bared…locked without any keys. His hope and fear are two sides of a coin much like Abel and Cane. Funny how in the end it adds up to the same…SO TO YOU I ASK… DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


Did you see him? No? He is the one that calls me everything in the world that suppose to demean my sexuality…INTERESTING ENOUGH, HE IS ONLY DOING THAT BECAUSE HE WANTS TO F&CK ME! Now I on the other see right his SH!T, he tries his hardest to make me look the thing that the world despise; only it is that despises himself…He is fighting his attraction to my MAN-LY-NESS, he can’t deal with TRUTH that he WANTS me, he CRAVES me…he wants to F&CK me! So he goes home seek me on the internet, hiding behind his computer…talking DIRRRTY to me telling me about how his GIRL don’t satisfy him, how he L-O-N-G-S for my D!CK in his ASS…How he L-O-N-G-S for just one drop of touch to grant his SALVATION…WITH THAT SAID, DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?


He is the combination of THE UNCONFIDENT MAN mixed with THE SELF ABSORB MAN that tries to make you AN E ~ Z F&CK. He is worst than the internet whore and pays so much attention to HIMSELF he might as well be a QUEEN…This man lives such a F&CKED UP existence, he is ill-bred, undeveloped…simply an idi-ass BOY of a MAN. But this mother fucker tries to test my MAN-HOOD, trying to step to someone like me…Thinking he on easy street and that he will get his…Better move along with that shit and take that bone to some other dog! He thinks he the man; what a fucking joke! He must really think me mad, how can he expect me to exist? He must think me mad, for how can HE expect me to exist when I must resist? Do you think he knows that the fascists in HIS life would have their way with me if it was in his power? He has a noose for my neck and he is trying to tighten it every hour…Trying to squeeze from me the fire of my illicit desire…NOW PLEASE BE HONEST WITH ME, I WANT THE TRUTH…DO U TH!NK HE CAN ¿F&CK ME?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


In most spiritual circles, the ego gets a pretty bad rap. The reason for this is that the ego, to some extent, is the principle in our psyches that separates us from one another, while spirit is the principle that shows us that no such separation exists. Sometimes the ego is depicted as an almost demonic figure that keeps us from realizing our true nature. But at its most basic, the ego is simply a tool that helps us organize the various aspects of our personality so that we can function in the world. In this sense, the ego is simply a way for us to understand and attend to ourselves at the same time as we understand and attend to the world around us. The ego is a tool that we use to navigate the world. Perhaps the problem is that the ego sometimes gets out of control. This happens when the higher self loses control of the psyche. The psyche then falls under the leadership of the ego, an entity that was never meant to lead. The ego is meant to be definitively in the service of the higher self. When this relationship is functioning, the ego is a useful intermediary representing the whole self but not thinking that it is the whole self. Then, it is almost as if the ego is the self playfully pretending to be the separate entity called “I.” Like an actor, the ego plays the roles that the world asks us to play in order to be part of the program. In this way, the ego can be a tool enabling us to be in the world but not of it. As long as we are in touch with our higher selves, our egos are not a threat. They are simply useful tools in the service of spirit. We keep our egos in check when we continually nurture our awareness of who we really are. Then our egos are free to serve without trying ineffectually to rule. It is healthy to have ego, but like all things in life, ego functions best when it is in balance and harmony with your whole self.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


I have a few friends that are for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be…IN BODY, SPIRIT, HEART & MIND. Even though they sometime despair over what the body becomes - the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, the sagging rear, the grey hairs found on genitals, the sagging scrotum and the vagina that leans on one side. Though taken aback by that old person that lives in the mirror, they don't agonize over those things for long.

They would never trade amazing friends, wonderful life and the loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. Age has brought kindness and less self criticism…They’ve become their own friend, most definitely don’t chide themselves for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly gadget that they didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my kitchen counter. They think that they are entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. Guess they’ve seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

They will dance to those wonderful tunes of the 70s & 80s and at the same time; wish to weep over a lost love…THEY WILL! They will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if they so choose, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old. One thing I’ve noticed is that they are very forgetful at times…But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten…and eventually the important things will be remembered.

Sure, over the years they’ve had their hearts broken. How can it not break when a love one is lost, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what gave them strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I know they feel blessed to have lived long enough to have their hair turn gray, and their youthful laugh be forever etched into deep grooves on their faces. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. You don’t question yourself anymore; the right to be wrong has been well earned. YES A LOT OF THEM ARE SET IN THEIR WAYS & LACK PATIENCE ACCORDING TO OUR ESTIMATIONS, BUT THAT’S HOW IT GOES…So, to answer my question, I look forward to getting old. I know that it will set me free. I know I will like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

Monday, December 11, 2006


Few people enjoy the company of individuals whose attitudes are persistently negative. Yet many of us tolerate the critical chatter that can originate within our own minds. Since we are so used to the stream of self-limiting, critical consciousness that winds its way through our thoughts, we are often unaware of the impact these musings have on our lives. It is only when we become aware of the power of such thoughts that we can divest ourselves of them and fill the emptiness they leave with loving, peaceful affirmations. Many people, upon paying careful attention to their thinking patterns, are surprised at the negativity they find there. But when we take notice of involuntary thoughts in a nonjudgmental way, we initiate a healing process that will eventually allow us to replace intimidating and upsetting self-talk with positive, empowering thoughts. While the occasional downbeat or judgmental thought may have little impact on your contentment, the ongoing negativity that passes unnoticed can have a dampening effect on your mood and your outlook. When you are aware of the tone of your thoughts, however, you can challenge them. Try to be conscious of your feelings, opinions, and judgments for a single day. From sunup to sundown, scrutinize the messages you are feeding into your subconscious mind. Consider your thoughts from the perspective of a detached observer and try not to judge yourself based on the notions that come unbidden into your mind. Simply watch the flow of your consciousness and make a note of the number of times you find yourself focusing on gloomy notions or indulging in self-directed criticism. As you become increasingly aware of your patterns of thought, whether positive and negative, you will gradually learn to control the character of your stream of consciousness. Endeavor always to remember that the images and ideas that pass through your mind are transient and not a true representation of who you are. In training yourself to be cognizant of your thoughts, you gain the ability to actively modulate your mood. The awareness you cultivate within yourself will eventually enable you to create a foundation of positivity from which you can build a more authentic existence.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

L...O...V...E...(DO U KNOW WOT IT IS?)

The feeling of falling in love is of the most exciting, thrilling and life changing events. Falling in love can change your entire outlook on life. Falling in love can occupy your mind and seem to take away all of life's problems. However, falling in love can bring about a serious problem of endless heartaches if a person falls in love too fast. Let us look at what brings about the feeling of needing to fall in love, what defines true love and the string of broken hearts that can occur if one falls in love too quickly.

With these key elements examined, a person may realize that they are too rapidly generating the feeling of falling in love, and in doing so, producing unfortunate consequences. A life filled with a great amount of broken hearts predictably points to a great amount of relationships in which the person fell in love too quickly. Once acknowledged as a source of heartaches, one can achieve a more realistic approach to falling in love and finding someone special.

The majority of adult single people undoubtedly desire the ultimate feeling of being in love with another person. Instilled in people's minds is that love will bring happiness, safely and security. Most people are witness to a loving relationship from a very young age, as we witness the love of our parents. As adults, the media overwhelms us with love stories. Countless advertising bombards us to find love. When one is single, it may seem that everywhere they look; there are couples holding hands, talking and laughing together. This can produce an overpowering desire for a person to find love.

Real and genuine love means connecting in ways that are almost indescribable. Present are the key elements that each desire in a relationship. There is a strong emotional attachment, as well as an intense physical attraction. The two people in the relationship spent time thoroughly getting to know the each other. These people will understand each other quirks and habits. They will learn each other's history and the life that they lived up until they met. After sometime, a feeling of comfort and admiration occurs. As cliché as it sounds, if love is going to happen, both will have a feeling of "fitting together" and "finding their better half". If both people involved in the relationship are content and their desires fulfilled, as time moves on, an increasing feeling of devotion and affection will change into a deep and strong feeling of love.

Without these fundamentals in place, having the feelings of falling in love exceedingly prematurely can result in needless heartbreaking outcomes. It is true that being single can sometimes produce intense feelings of loneliness. These feelings of solitude and wanting acceptance into a loving relationship can make one push for a relationship that is not correct for them. Beginning to spend time with another, sometimes a person will mistake the feeling of acceptance for the feeling of love. Love is not something easily obtained. For long periods, love can escape us, as we search for that someone special that we wish for in our lives.

Telling yourself that you are in love, does not create love. If not all of the essentials of genuine love are in place, convincing yourself that you are in love does not magically produce those necessary elements. If in almost every relationship you enter, you fall in love within a couple weeks or even days, you must ask yourself; are you really in love?

Undoubtedly, falling in love produces a magnificent euphoric high. The emotion of finding one's "soul mate" fulfills a deep desire to bond with someone. True love is such a rare find. In terms of realistic expectations, one simply cannot sincerely be in love with every person they meet or date. Allowing yourself to feel you are in love with almost everyone you connect with, in a small measure of time, only will lead to ultimate disappointment. Sincerely asking yourself the question, "Was it really true love?" may give you the knowledge that perhaps you did not actually experience love. This is not to imply you did not admire someone, like spending time with him or her or had lust for him or her. However, did real love exist? Comprehending that it did not, may lessen the sense of feeling betrayed and the feeling of being wounded from relationships gone astray.

To free yourself from being the victim of lost "love", give yourself the time to unequivocally get to know and appreciate someone, allowing love to happen in it's own due course. Do not impulsively rush into a state of feeling in love. Seriously consider all of the factors that ensure a real and lasting love. Give this feeling time to develop. Only then, can you truly know that you are in love.