COMMUNICATION KEEPS US CENTERED

In a long-term relationship it is often necessary to get back to basics and come back to center with each other. For Noel and me we know that our relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. We know that early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a seedling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy; yet, if our relationship is to last, turning towards one another with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities [cough Noel] we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, he knows that our needs won’t tend to themselves and we both still love each other. And lord knows that I have MANY of the best intentions when I think about how nice it would be to do this or that, but the current economic climate won’t allow for my fantasies @ this point.

I've found that one of the best ways to nourish our relationship is through communication. When I feel that a distance has grown between us, I find that this is able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. I do my best to avoid blame and regret and focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that we want to grow closer together. I find that sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between us has the effect of bringing our relationship into balance. Writing this entry reminds me of the compassion we have for each other and that were in the same boat together trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep our relationship healthy and thriving.