I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, June 30, 2011


From Judy Garland to Britney Spears there have been many women over the years who have been branded with the title “gay icon.” Some, such as Joan Crawford, gained an early gay following due to her struggles both on and off screen, likening her to an underdog with whom many gay men of the time felt they could relate. Others, such as Madonna and Kylie Minogue, have openly embraced their queer fan base performing at LGBT events, supporting gay issues and incorporating queer themes into their videos and live performances.

However, in the short time she has been on the pop music scene, Lady Gaga seems to have set a new standard for those who would wish to qualify as a future gay icon.

Since her first album was released in 2008, Lady Gaga has embraced the gay community and been an advocate for LGBT rights like no other diva before her. In the liner notes of her debut album she wrote, “I will always fight for the gay community…” This was a bold move on her part as many celebrities have shied away from being linked to the gay community at early points of their careers. But Gaga has made her allegiance clear from the beginning and even performed at several LGBT events, such as the NewNowNext Awards and San Francisco Pride in the early months after the release of her first album.

In the days that followed, she promoted the album with live performances in many smaller venues, including gay and lesbian dance clubs.  Her genuine affection for her gay fans was obvious and any who believed otherwise would soon be forced to reevaluate their opinion when Gaga later revealed that she was bisexual in an interview for Rolling Stone. Turns out, Gaga was not only a supporter, but a part of the LGBT community as well. Though some were quick to label her coming out as a publicity stunt, the pop princess only intensified her advocacy in the years that followed and proved that her statements were more than lip service.

If visibility is the first step then Lady Gaga is running a marathon for equality. She has taken every available opportunity to voice her support for gays and lesbians in interviews, during acceptance speeches, and even televised performances.

In 2010 Gaga took a fierce stand against the military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) policy. Dressed in a frock made of meat, Gaga attended the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards accompanied by four members of the US Military who had each been prohibited from serving due to DADT. When interviewed Gaga stated, “If we don't stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones.”

The songstress could have stopped there, but she continued her stance against the discriminatory law by releasing 3 videos on YouTube shortly after the awards show. In the videos she encouraged others to contact their senators and urge them to overturn DADT. She then took the fight even further by speaking at the “4the14K”Rally in Portland, Maine where she urged members of the US Senate to repeal the DADT policy.

Since then, Gaga has shown no signs of slowing down her support of the LGBT community. Her latest number-one hit, “Born This Way” is undeniably pro-LGBT and is the first hit song in the US to use the word “transgendered” in its lyrics. She’s also put her money where her mouth is by donating proceeds from the single to anti-bullying charities.

Recently, Gaga has made even more headlines in the crusade for equality by walking away from a lucrative deal with retail giant Target due to the company’s previous donations to an antigay political campaign. And just last week, she encouraged fans to voice their support for marriage equality by contacting state senator Mark Grisanti, who has wavered on supporting marriage equality, with “2000 emails” during an appearance in Buffalo, New York.

Lady Gaga hasn’t merely raised the bar for those who would claim the status of gay icon, she’s completely reinvented the criteria. No longer can a celebrity simply state, “I love my gay fans” and expect the LGBT community to call them an icon. A new standard has been set. And while this shouldn’t detract from those who have worn the title in the past, Lady Gaga has worn it best.


Wednesday, June 29, 2011


When it comes to bareback porn, do you think it is art imitating life or…?  Many will argue for both sides of this question and that is fine, but I have to wonder when the dust settles, where does the line between fantasy AND responsibility begin? From I knew my gay self; I’ve seen VERY little porn that shows the actors putting on a condom. So either way ‘safe sex’ is a mute point from the porn industry, right? Some say that porn’s role is to entertain, not educate, and I LOVE watching porn that showcases what I do, but I am in a committed relationship. Do you think bareback sex in porn influences real-life behavior or do you think it doesn’t matter since it is just a form of entertainment?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I have been having regular get-togethers with a man who is quite well endowed. I am what I guess could be considered a power bottom, so he always tops me and I'm more than fine with this. My concern is this: Is it possible to do any sort of permanent damage from getting it too often from someone who's big? There was a little blood the first few times but really nothing since. He's a very considerate top and (believe it or not) most times it doesn't hurt at all, even when he first enters. But one day we went at it five times over the course of 12 hours. I'm just wondering if I need to worry about incontinence or any other unpleasantness down the road.



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Monday, June 27, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011


Are you dying to jump on theTrue Blood bandwagon, but too far behind to catch up on all three seasons before this Sunday’s premiere? HBO has got you covered with this handy dandy five-minute recap clip, seen below.
Not unlike those famously informative Lost catch-up sessions, the cable giant has assembled everything you need to know about Sookie Stackhouse, Bill Compton and the rest of Bon Temps into a nice little package. Now there’s no reason for you to miss out on True Blood‘s special brand of fun.


The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes.

He [or she] condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone's feelings.

He [or she] works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.

He [or she] is 29 years old and has 40 years experience.

Above all, he [or she] is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he [or she] spends most of their time with the senior citizens.

He [or she] smiles all the time with a straight face because he [or she] has a sense of humor that keeps them seriously dedicated to the church.

He [or she] makes 15 home visits a day and is always in the office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for church council and! all of its committees. He [or she] never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over!

If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this entry to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too.

Then bundle up your pastor and send him [or her] to the church at the top of the list.

If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 2048 pastors.

One of them should be perfect.

Have faith one church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.



In Jumping The Broom, two very divergent worlds intersect as two African American families from very different socioeconomic backgrounds are brought together for a wedding on Martha's Vineyard. 

Paula Patton stars as Sabrina Watson, tired of the dating scene  she makes a promise to not give,'' away her cookies'', until she meets the perfect man. As fate or maybe accident would have it,she literally runs over Jason Taylor on the street played by Laz Alonso. After a six month whirlwind romance and a job opportunity in China,Taylor proposes to Sabrina. As the impending nuptials arrive, their very different worlds are set for a head-on and explosive collision where secrets are revealed and classism raises its ugly head. This begs the question, will they or won't they jump the broom?

What's Good About the Movie:

It is a funny ,fairly well written and executed movie with some good performances from Angela Bassett ,Loretta Devine and  Paula Patton. 

What's Bad about the Movie:

There were some scenes that felt very forced and unnecessary like the cougar story line with Romeo and Angela played by Tasha Smith or it probably was Romeo's performance that killed it for me.

Overall Grade: A-, It's an entertaining film that will definitely make you LOL while it also tugs at your heartstrings.

Saturday, June 25, 2011




"She's Out of My Life" is a song written by musical artist Tom Bahler. Although it has been claimed that Bahler wrote the song about Karen Carpenter, Bahler stated, ""The fact is, I had already written that song by the time Karen and I became romantic. That song was written more about Rhonda Rivera . . . Rhonda and I had been together for two years, and it was after we broke up that I started dating Karen."[1] The song has been recorded by a variety of artists, including: Michael JacksonPatti LaBelleGinuwine98°Jon LeeBarbara MandrellNinaWillie NelsonJosh Groban and Karel Gott (Czech Album: I Love You For Sentimental Reasons, performed in English).

A poignant moment in the song occurs near the end when Jackson begins to break down in tears as he sings the word "life". Given the popular response to his emotional rendition, the song remained in Jackson's live set for many years. Although he had attempted to record the song's last few moments with emotional restraint, after numerous tries he continued to end the rendition the same - by breaking down in tears. Producer Quincy Jones subsequently let Jackson's tearful recording stand:

The song became famous as the fourth single to be released by singer Michael Jackson from his successful Off the Wall album in 1979. It was the first time a solo artist had achieved four top ten hits from one album. Unlike the album's previous singles (which were all dance-oriented funk/disco songs), the "She's Out of My Life" song was an emotional ballad. Jackson's vocals on the record were considered by critics to be some of his best.

She's Out of My Life, I'd been carrying around for about three years—you can feel the pain in it, you know. And I held on to it and finally something said 'this is the right moment to give it to Michael'.

And when we recorded it with Michael, I know it was an experience he'd never even thought about to sing in a song, 'cause it's a very mature emotion. And he cried at the end of every take, you know. We recorded about—I don't know—8-11 takes, and every one at the end, he just cried, and I said 'hey - that's supposed to be, leave it on there.'

Quincy JonesOff the Wall 2001 Special Edition, Quincy Jones Interview 3

According to Jackson in Moonwalk, the song is about knowing that barriers separating him from others are seemingly easy to overcome, yet they cause him to miss out on what he really desires.[2] He said that he cried from the sudden effect of the words because "I had been letting so much build up inside me."[2] Particularly it reminded him of his feeling of being "so rich in some experiences while being poor in moments of true joy."[2] He worried about this feeling showing up on the song, but also felt "if it touched people's heartstrings, knowing that would make me feel less lonely."[2] He described making Off the Wall as "one of the most difficult periods of my life...I had very few close friends at the time and felt very isolated."[2] He would walk though his neighborhood, hoping to meet people who didn't know who he was, so he could meet "somebody who would be my friend because they liked me and needed a friend too, not because I was who I am."[2]

The music video for the song features Michael sitting on a stool singing the song. It was directed by Bruce Gowers, who also directed Jackson's video Rock with You, which the video is similar to. "She's Out of My Life" was the final video for the album. The video is one of Jackson's videos that are rarely seen. It is featured on the DVD box set Michael Jackson's Vision.

Jones wanted Jackson to record material with more mature themes and "feel the full range of his voice," so he brought the song to Jackson's attention, whereas he had originally intended to save the song for Frank Sinatra.[3] Subsequently, the song peaked at #10 in the US on the Billboard Hot 100.[4] The single was even more successful in the UK and peaked at number 3 on the charts (the equivalent position reached by Off the Wall's debut single "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough"). A music video was also produced to promote the song, which showed Michael in a blue-green shirt, dark pants, and sitting on a barstool with a spotlight shining behind him.

Friday, June 24, 2011


We all know this guy — or are this guy: in his 30s, affable, attractive, and yet he’s never been in a serious long-term relationship. And as his single status stretches into a third decade, one has to wonder: What’s the deal? Far from being undateable, this guy may simply not be ready to change his independent ways. Or, he may be all too willing to do so — but something’s blocking him. If you feel you may fall into the latter category (or know someone who does), stop worrying about what’s slowing you down and read on to learn about how five types of die-hard bachelors contribute to their perpetually single status and what steps to take to break the cycle. 

The workaholic: For the guy who makes work priority number one, a relationship can seem like a hindrance for which he hasn’t the time or energy. It’s likely that he’s set lofty career goals for himself — perhaps finishing medical school, rising to make partner in his law firm or starting his own business — with personal deadlines (say, by age 35). Take it from Doug, 31, of Washington, D.C.: “My main focus is getting to a point in my career where I am stable and accomplished enough to move on to a job that I really want to do,” he says. “I can’t sacrifice or compromise my career path for anyone yet.”

Reality check: Waiting for the “right time” isn’t the solution, according to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of DSI: Date Scene Investigation. “This guy needs to understand that life doesn’t start when he schedules it,” Dr. Kerner points out. And it needn’t be a lonely climb to the top: rather than derail his career, a supportive mate could provide stability, encouragement and an attentive ear. And for the guy who is working to become husband material, consider this: 91 percent of women in a survey reported that they tend to fall in love with a moderately successful career person with a balanced life rather than a very successful workaholic.

The partier: For this guy, weekends in Vegas and hitting up the newest parties and clubs has too much appeal to entertain the possibility of settling down. Says self-described “committed bachelor” Sean, 30, of Brooklyn: “I go out to have a good time — mingle, dance, have fun — and not to meet someone.” 

Reality check: As the Seans of the world mature, they may notice that their party-hearty peers are becoming fewer in number or that the average age of his social circle — and of his dates — remains constant as he ages. Another warning sign? More numbers in his cell phone for “friends with benefits” than those belonging to actual friends. The bottom line is, for all the fun of casual encounters and late nights out, a partier would do well to understand that a committed relationship has its own joys, too — even excitement and novelty. “These guys are adrenaline junkies, and they fear that a commitment to one person will be no fun,” says Dr. Kerner. “But really getting to know one person in a relationship can be a source of passion and adrenaline, too.”

The shy guy: It’s a fact: Meeting men requires conversation — which can be problematic for a shy guy and can stunt his relationship prospects. “I go out with the express purpose of meeting people, but I hardly ever screw up enough courage to talk to strangers,” admits Alex, 31, of Raleigh, NC. “Even if I do, I wuss out and leave before I get anywhere.” 

Reality check: Rather than forcing social behavior in a high-stress situation, like at a loud nightclub, shy guys may be better off searching for potential mates who share the same affinities. “The shy guy doesn’t have to walk up to someone cold,” says Dr. Kerner. “Instead, he should put himself in situations that present opportunities for easy conversation.” Dr. Kerner suggests theater clubs, team sports or anything else with expectations for regular participation, like volunteering. Or, if you do start dating someone, suggest making it a double date or an activity date, thereby reducing the pressure of a one-on-one outing. 

The too-picky guy: For all his many, many first dates, this guy is resolutely single, never having met anyone who quite fits his mold for the ideal mate. He is convinced that there is someone out there and is alternately determined to find The One or frustrated by his inability to do so. Says Andrew, 30, of Scarsdale, NY: “It’s impossible for me to compromise. I can’t settle for someone who doesn’t attract me physically, emotionally, intellectually and so on.” Compounding this inability to compromise is the belief that perfection in another personal really exists — a notion that could lend itself to fantasies of discovering love at first sight. “A guy with impossibly high standards may fall for someone, but then he’ll see this person’s flaws and imperfections and become disappointed,” says Dr. Kerner. Unfortunately, this can lead to discounting potentially great matches, as the picky guy may be unwilling to give a date with, say, a tendency to use emoticons in emails or “too short” hair a chance. 

Reality check: What these guys need to accept is that no one’s perfect — and include themselves in that statement. And, in Dr. Kerner’s opinion, “There is no such thing as a soul mate,” he says. “Rather, it’s the journey of building a great relationship over time that leads to a ‘soul mate’-type of closeness.” So the next time you’re iffy about a boy, give him more of a chance before you write him off. 

The none-of-the-above guy: Of course, there are guys who might not fall into (just) one of these categories, who are comfortable with themselves, outgoing and trying to meet someone to share their lives with — but for whom it just hasn’t happened yet. Guys like “chronically single” Greg, 30, of Boston, explains: “I’m ready to give my heart to someone and to do some hard work to find her, but I have yet to find that person.” 

Reality check: Keeping adages such as “Love happens when you least expect it” in mind may not totally assuage feelings of “What the heck is going on here?” Suffice to say that this still-single guy is not alone — and won’t be for long if he keeps an open mind, gets active in organizations that provide opportunities to meet others and gives luck (or some effort) a chance to work. “Regardless of his circumstances, the important thing for a single guy in his 30s to do is to put himself in situations where he’s meeting men — whether it’s making time to join in activity groups, dating online or signing up for singles’ events,” says Dr. Kerner. So, single guy, keep your chin up and continue taking those leaps of faith into the dating pool. Sooner or later, you’ll find someone who sees you for the catch you truly are. 


Thursday, June 23, 2011


Thinking back, I see now that there was a brief moment when I had a choice as to how I would react to the situation that led to this blog entry. I could have just as easily chosen resignation, or amusement, or even sadness. So the obvious question is why did I choose a destructive emotion? Why did I take on a know-it-all attitude that sees my position as null and void? I suppose that on some deep, unconscious level I must be hard-wired to believe that anger is the appropriate response. Which leads to the next obvious question: how do I undo this negative mental process that appears to be woven into the soul of me?

Perhaps I could give my anger away. I know it sounds silly, but maybe silly is what is called for. Perhaps I should have buried my anger in her backyard and blame it on the dogs when no grass grows on that spot. She’ll believe me because listening to humans is COMPLETELY unfamiliar to her. Since she knows EVERYTHING about ANYTHING, and since she won’t question the dog, wouldn’t that just prove to her that she is right about that spot in her yard?

I often wonder if she ever gets tired of trying to be right all the time. Why does she have a need to make people around her the audience she needs to make herself the center of attention? I get that attention and respect are the two things we all long for but...What do you do when you are around someone that comes off as a know-it-all?


Westboro Baptist Church, the Kansas-based organization that made its name picketing military funerals to protest the country's policy on gay soldiers, plans to make an appearance at the funeral of "Jackass" stuntman Ryan Dunn.

Why? Apparently the congregation, led by pastor Fred Phelps and his Twitter-happy daughter, was offended by Dunn's most famous "Jackass" stunt: the insertion of a toy car into his rectum. In one of the printable passages from the church's press release about Dunn, they write: 

"This arrogant jackass, famous for his 'vulgar stunts' at which this nation snickered,  died in a car accident in Goshen, PA (one of the most evil states to ever exist) after tweeting a picture of himself & two "friends" drinking - just hours before a 3 AM high-speed crash left him & his passenger dead & in flames. This is no prank! In His wrath, God cut off this young man in the prime of his life, because he made a mock of sin, and taught his fellow man to grievously sin against God!" It goes on:"God will not acquit an arrogant, proud, filth-loving sinner, who spent every ounce of every resource God gave him to pimp grotesque, nasty (and not even slightly funny) sin!"

Okay. Thanks Westboro Baptist. I had SERIOUS reservations posting this story because it just hurt my soul. I can't believe (yes I can) that people would take time out of their day to do something like this. I am not a church goer, but shouldn't the church, I don't know seek ways to make humanity better and do what their 'God' ask of them? 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


When it comes to dating and relationships, gay men have asked the same question over and over when they meet a guy they like: “does he like me?” No matter his age or status he starts terrorizing friends and associates who are connected to the ‘apple’ of his eye. The minute he asks, “Does he like me?” isn’t he basically giving away his power without even realizing it?

I know it is a natural characteristic for us to take on, but think of it like this, when you get to make a connection with the man you seek to date, would you be yourself if you are caught up with wondering if he likes you? In the world of dating, isn't that the whole point in getting to know someone means you NEED to be yourself? How about instead of pondering this age old gay question you flip the script and ask do you like him? Is he someone you can build a till death do us part life with?

I’ve found that when I stopped worrying whether a guy liked me or not, I started being myself and I end up with many men that liked me. The funny thing is, I didn't like many of them after all. I found they were actually spending time trying to get me to like them instead of just being themselves. I've been on both sides of this situation. And let me tell you, if you give yourself credit, you wouldn’t bother your friends with whether the boy you like likes you or not. After all can the how will I know (shout out to Whitney) of it all really be known?


Tuesday, June 21, 2011


There's a wonderful story about a learned man who went to see a Zen master to debate the merits of Zen. The master poured him a cup of tea, and purposely kept pouring so the tea ran over the cup and spilled onto the table. The man was startled and asked the master what he was doing. The Zen master replied, "You are like this cup, too full of your own opinions to receive anything else." Now I'd like to ask everyone reading this blog to empty yourselves of all your opinions, beliefs, fears, hopes, resentments and desires for just one moment. Just let them all go... empty your cup. Good. Some call this emptiness NIRVANA, attained by years of meditation. I would suggest that there's another path to attain this state of emptiness: write 365 blog entries in 365 days produce twenty-four sitcom episodes in thirty-five weeks. Which is the origin of another Zen riddle: if no one sees a blogger celebrate life, is it really a celebration? 

Monday, June 20, 2011

REST IN PEACE Taylor Siluwé

New Jersey-based author Taylor Siluwé died Sunday afternoon at home after losing his battle to lung cancer, friends tell Rod 2.0. Siluwé was only 43-years-old.
Siluwé was the author of several novels of erotica, such as Dancing With The Devil, A Taste for Cherries and Cheesy Porn and Other Fairytales. Siluwé also wrote short stories, essays and blogged about LGBT news, activism and gay life at
Siluwé was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in May. Taylor began photo-blogging and essaying about his battle with cancer and the effects of radiation treatment. Siluwé also began taking up gardening as therapy. Siluwé was optimistic about his prognosis and so was I. 
Taylor was one of the first bloggers to support me and it is hard to believe that he is no longer here. Who would have thought that last week when we communicated it would be the last thing he ever said to me. When I saw that he had died via another blogger, I thought this was a mistake because Taylor was going to make a full recovery. As I sit and type this, I am wishing that he would pop up online and say, THE NEWS OF MY DEATH HAS BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED! REST IN PEACE TAYLOR & I WILL KEEP YOUR FAMILY AND PARTNER IN MY THOUGHTS.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


The ideal father is the epitome of a man. That is...
He will demonstrate balance. 
He will be modest and reserved and yet firm and straight forth. 
He will not be arrogant. 
He will show respect for his elders, his superiors in status. 
He will love and honor his mother and his husband/wife and children. 
He will be sober and moderate in all things. He will also enjoy life and be a gracious host to his friends, rather than a miser and spendthrift. 
He will work hard and seek comfort, but not become obsessed with material possessions. 
Above all, he will speak and do Right.

Saturday, June 18, 2011













"Papa Don't Preach" is a dance-pop song by American singer and songwriter Madonna. The song was written by Brian Elliot with additional lyrics by Madonna, and produced by Stephen Bray and Madonna for her third studio album True Blue, released in June 1986. The song also appears remixed on the 1990 compilation album The Immaculate Collection and in its original form on the 2009 compilation album Celebration. The song's musical style combines pop and classical rhythms, and its lyrics deal with teenage pregnancy and abortion. It was based on teen gossip he heard outside Elliot's studio, which has a large front window that doubles as a mirror where schoolgirls from the North Hollywood High School in Los Angeles regularly stopped to fix their hair and chat.
Released as the album's second single in mid-1986, the song was a commercial success. It became Madonna's fourth number-one single on the Billboard Hot 100, and performed well internationally, reaching the top position in the United Kingdom and Australia. It was well-received by music critics and was frequently cited as a highlight in the album. The music video, directed by James Foley, shows Madonna's second image makeover, featuring her with a more toned and muscular body, and cropped platinum blonde hair. It portrayed a storyline, where Madonna is trying to tell her father about her pregnancy. The images are juxtaposed with shots of Madonna dancing and singing in a small, darkened studio, and spending a romantic evening with her boyfriend.
Shortly after its release, the song caused heated discussions about its lyrical content. Women's organizations and others in the family planning field criticized Madonna for encouraging teenage pregnancy, while groups opposed to abortion saw it as a positive pro-life message. Madonna has performed "Papa Don't Preach" in three of her world tours. The song also caused her first conflict with the Vatican, as she dedicated it to Pope John Paul II, who urged Italian fans to boycott her concerts during the Who's That Girl World Tour in 1987. In 2002, the song was recorded as a hard rock version by British singer Kelly Osbourne, and was included as a bonus track on her debut album Shut Up.
During the autumn of 1985, Madonna started writing and recording songs for her third studio album, True Blue. She brought back Steve Bray and hired a new songwriter collaborator, Patrick Leonard, to help her co-write eight of the album's nine tracks.[1] The album's first track "Papa Don't Preach", was written by Brian Elliot, who described it as "a love song, maybe framed a little bit differently".[2] The song is based on teen gossip he heard outside his studio, which has a large front window that doubles as a mirror where schoolgirls from the North Hollywood High School in Los Angeles regularly stopped to fix their hair and chat.[3] The song was sent to Madonna by Michael Ostin, the same Warner Bros. executive that discovered "Like a Virgin".[4] Madonna only contributed with some minor lyrical revisions, making "Papa Don't Preach" the only song in the album that she did not have a strong hand in writing.[4] In 2009, during an interview with Rolling Stone Madonna was asked by the interviewer Austin Scaggs as to why the theme of the song was meaningful to her. She replied saying,

"[The song] just fit right in with my own personal zeitgeist of standing up to male authorities, whether it's the pope, or the Catholic Church or my father and his conservative, patriarchal ways. [...] For 'Papa Don't Preach' there were so many opinions – that's why I thought it was so great. Is she for 'schma-smortion', as they say in Knocked Up? Is she against abortion etc."[5]
In the United Kingdom "Papa Don't Preach" was released on June 23, 1986. The next week the song debuted at number thirteen on the UK Singles Chart, before climbing to number one two weeks later.[27] It then spent three consecutive weeks at the top, stayed fifteen weeks on the chart,[27] and was certified gold by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) in August 1986, for shipment of 400,000 copies of the single.[28] According to The Official Charts Company, the song has sold 645,000 copies there.[29] Across Europe, "Papa Don't Preach" was successful, topping the Eurochart Hot 100 for eleven weeks. It reached the top position of the singles charts in Belgium, Ireland, Italy, and Norway,[30][31][32][33] and peaked inside the top five in Austria, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Spain and Switzerland.[34][35][36][37] 
"Papa Don't Preach" was released in the United States in June 1986. It debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 at number forty-two,[18] and within eight weeks of its release, it had reached the top of the chart,[19] making it Madonna's fourth number-one single in the US.[20] It maintained the top position for two weeks, and spent eighteen weeks on the chart.[19] It also reached a peak of four on the Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart, and a peak of 16 on the Hot Adult Contemporary chart.[20] In October 1998, the single was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), for shipment of 500,000 copies of the single.[21] It placed at position 29 for theBillboard Year-End chart for 1986.[22] In Canada the song debuted at the fifty-three position of the RPM singles chart on July 5, 1986,[23] reached the top for two weeks in August 1986,[24] and stayed on the chart for twenty weeks.[25] It placed at position 13 on the RPM Year-end chart for 1986.[26]

For the music video Madonna sported a complete image makeover. She changed the heavy jewelry and make-up, and adopted the gamine look, which is notably applied to describe the style and appearance that Shirley MacLaine andAudrey Hepburn used during the 1950s.[38][39] In the video Madonna played a tomboy, dressed in jeans, a black leather jacket, and a slogan T-shirt with the caption "Italians do it Better". The video alternated between tomboy shots and those of a sexier Madonna with a more toned and muscular body, cropped platinum blonde hair, and figure-revealing clothing, consisting of a 1960s-style black bustier top and capri pants.[40] It was directed by James Foley, who worked with Madonna in her video for "Live to Tell",[41] produced by David Naylor and Sharon Oreck, and Michael Ballhaus was in charge of the photography.[42] Actor Alex McArthur was signed to play Madonna's boyfriend and the father of her child in the video. Madonna had spotted McArthur in a small role as a naive youth in the 1985 film Desert Hearts, and she thought he was a natural to play her mechanic boyfriend.[43] "I was out in the garage working on my Harley," said McArthur, "I answered the phone and a voice said, 'Hi, this is Madonna. I would like you to be in my next video.'"[43]
The music video starts with shots of the New York skyline, the Staten Island Ferry, and character close-ups.[44]Madonna plays a teenager, who is seen walking along a lane. Then it shows her thinking about her father, played byDanny Aiello,[40] and how much he loves her. She then sees her boyfriend, played by actor Alex McArthur,[43] coming along. The images are juxtaposed with shots of Madonna dancing and singing in a small, darkened studio. Madonna then moves away from her friends, who warn her from her boyfriend. She and her boyfriend spend a romantic evening together on a barge where they reflect upon their lives after watching an elderly couple. Then Madonna finds out that she is pregnant and after much hesitation tells her father. They have a few days of tension between them. Her father eventually accepts the pregnancy, and the final scene is a reconciliatory embrace between father and daughter.[44]
Georges-Claude Guilbert, author of Madonna As Postmodern Myth, compared her look in the video as a "combination of Marilyn MonroeJean Seberg and Kim Novak." He added that it was hard for him to believe that "[Madonna] did not know that she was going to cause a huge controversy with the video.... With such a song and video, she was throwing in America's face the image of a country ravaged by the abortion debate, which is far from being resolved."[45] Lynda Hart, one of the authors of Acting Out: Feminist Performances, felt that the video "alternated between two competing representations of Madonna... Charging coercion, both sides make the video as an invitation to a certain way of life, in the process denying it the stylistic invocation of a rhetoric of self-authorization."[46] At the 1987 MTV Video Music Awards, the "Papa Don't Preach" video won the Best Female Video award, and was nominated for Best Cinematography and Best Overall Performance.[47]