I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, September 30, 2007


Do you know that HUMAN BEINGS carry within themselves the seed of healing? OUR CHOICES AFFECT us more than WE realize, and it is because of this that WE tend to place responsibility for OUR WELLNESS in the hands of others. As beneficial as regular visits to a healer can be, WE have the power to heal ourselves at will. When we dedicate a day to the pursuit of wellness, WE can relax and renew ourselves in a nourishing and comfortable environment. A sincere desire to open ourselves to the highest realities of OUR physical and spiritual selves is the key to self-healing so that healing energy can flow into us unimpeded. A self-healing day should address the vital needs of the self as a whole while directing healing energy where it is needed most. Solitude is an important part of the process as is the ability to take refuge in a space that is both beautiful and peaceful. Start your healing day by setting the intention that you are dedicating this time to healing yourself. Flowers, candlelight, incense, and music can guide our focus toward a more tranquil state. For a more intense session, try listening to music through headphones since tuning out can help you tune in. It is up to us to decide what WE need to do to cultivate wellness in OUR lives. For some, it may be time spent in reflection. Others will turn to calming activities that help them remember their purpose, such as journal writing, being in nature, or studying. OUR healing may even take a more direct form as WE use color, sound, or crystals to balance and ground ourselves. Ultimately, your wholesome intentions transform what might otherwise be a simple day of rest into a day of healing. Grant yourself permission to relax and savor the stillness. If you attune yourself to the calm around you, worldly distractions will be minimized and the unadulterated flow of your consciousness will reestablish itself in the forefront of your mind. The needs of the body, the heart, and the soul will then be revealed to you, empowering you to tap into the essential healing energy of the universe. The mechanism you use to channel this energy will be dependent on your shifting requirements, so each day of healing you enjoy will be unique. All will replenish you, however, allowing you to recreate yourself in a perfect image of health.

Saturday, September 29, 2007


THE CONDOM BROKE: 72 Hrs To Stop HIV, But Do You Know How?
Peter had unprotected sex with a group of guys during a Pride party this year. HIV-negative, he woke up the next morning terrified about HIV infection. Peter immediately contacted his doctor, Anthony Urbina, MD, because he knew something a lot of sexually active men don’t: If he had been exposed to HIV, he might be able to stave off infection by taking post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP)-a 28-day regimen of HIV medications started immediately after the encounter.While not 100 percent effective, PEP has been recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for healthcare providers who are accidentally exposed to HIV infected blood on the job. That’s what happened to John*, a colorectal surgeon in New York City who got stuck with a bloody needle while operating on a patient with HIV."It was emotionally traumatic, especially since I had to continue the surgery after the needle stick," he recalls. Once out of the operating room, John spoke with someone at the CDC’s PEP Hotline and conferred with a couple of HIV specialists. Everyone agreed he should begin PEP immediately. For John, fear of HIV infection outweighed any worries he might have had about physical side effects of the medications. "The drugs made me queasy, but I was emotionally a wreck to begin with." Luckily, he escaped infection.After his own experience, John says he doesn’t hesitate to offer an immediate referral to an HIV specialist when patients inquire about PEP. He doesn’t feel he has the expertise to prescribe it himself but thinks it’s an important option for people. "It should not be used as an alternative to safer sex," he says. "But accidents-and mistakes-do happen."Unfortunately, many people who fear they’ve been exposed to HIV will never ask their doctor about PEP for the simple reason that many of them have never heard of it. Most healthcare providers-even many with practices that cater to people at high risk of HIV infection-never discuss it with their patients. One reason they don’t is because the CDC has never released recommendations for the use of PEP in cases of non-occupational exposure. Likewise, the CDC’s PEP Hotline (run by the University of San Francisco) is not prepared to counsel people about sexual exposures.The lack of guidelines for exposures to people outside the medical community can only be regarded as a glaring omission on the CDC’s part, given that, after years of stability, rates of HIV infection in the U.S. are once again belived to be inching up-especially among gay and bisexual men. After all, the CDC’s own estimates put the risk of infection from unprotected receptive sex at up to 3 percent. The risk for a percutaneous needle stick? Around 0.3 percent.According to Lisa Grohskopf, a medical epidemiologist at the CDC, the organization is currently finalizing its first-ever recommendations for non-occupational PEP. At press time, however, she could offer no information as to what the recommendations would be or when they might be released.In the meantime, healthcare providers and patients are left to decide for themselves when to use PEP, a challenge considering the lack of awareness about the regimen, even from within the medical community.In an effort to assess how far PEP is below the radar of health professionals, Urbina, who works at St. Vincent’s Medical Center in New York City, once called the emergency room posing as a patient. After explaining that he might have been exposed to HIV during risky sex, he asked about PEP. "They put me on hold for about twenty minutes," he says. "Finally, a very irate gynecologist picked up the phone and said, ‘Sir, we don’t do emergency pap smears!’ I don’t think a lot of physicians are on board with PEP."The lack of CDC recommendations may only be part of the reason why. For starters, Urbina thinks many in the medical community don’t want to be bothered with calls from the types of patients they feel are going to be requesting PEP-gay men, people with multiple partners, people with substance-abuse problems. Providers may also be concerned that if people know PEP is available, some will take it as license to have unsafe sex. People who oppose the use of emergency contraception-a high-dose of hormones that, if taken by a woman within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse, prevents pregnancy-have used the same argument to discourage use of the so-called "morning-after pill" for decades."But this isn’t the morning-after pill," Urbina points outs. "It’s the 28-days-after pill. Small studies have shown that even when PEP is offered, patient requests for it won’t increase."Physicians may also be reluctant to prescribe a month of HIV medications when there is no guarantee that PEP will work. Susan C. Ball, MD, MPH, assistant director of the Birnbaum Unit HIV Care Center at New York Presbyterian Hospital, recalls the case of a nurse who went on PEP within two hours of exposure. She took the medications as directed, but nonetheless tested positive at the end of the regimen."PEP really is an unproven intervention," says the CDC’s Grohskopf. While there’s been a small study of PEP for occupational exposures from needle sticks (which indicated that PEP might reduce the risk of HIV infection by about 81 percent), no studies have been done to date regarding the efficacy of PEP for non-occupational exposures. But we may never have definitive answers about how effective PEP is-for any type of exposure. The trials that are commonly performed when new drugs are being tested-where half of the participants get the drug and half take a placebo (a drug-free sugarpill)-would, in the case of PEP, according to Grohskopf, be "not practical and possibly not ethical."Urbina says that the lack of firm data is no reason to withhold PEP from people with possible sexual exposure to HIV. He believes there is enough evidence-both anecdotally and from occupational exposures-to suggest that PEP is, in most cases, effective. "But people shouldn’t have this misconception that this is something that will always be effective."So if you think you may have been exposed to HIV, should you take PEP? There is no simple answer. It all depends on the particular circumstances involved.

Friday, September 28, 2007


The homosexual agenda is the accusation being made against the Rainbow Alliance by the president of the Bahamas Christian Council (BCC). The president of the Rainbow Alliance is seeking to have the GAY theme channel LOGOS added to the local cable company’s list of programming (CABLE BAHAMAS). This group of SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES seems to have the idea that LBGT COMMUNITY wants something that is UNACCEPTABLE and is an ABOMINATION unto GOD. However, I am apart of the community that would like to see this channel added to the cable program listing and I take OFFENSE to the views expressed by a group of persons that consider themselves GOD FEARING. I am sure that anyone in the world would agree with me when I say each one of us like to see themselves REPRESENTED in most things that they have as apart of their lives. Hence, being a GAY man I would like to watch a channel that is geared towards ME and is a reflection of ME. The Bahamas is DEMOCRATIC country and WE have a right to have a LIFE just like everyone else. We SAME-SEX individuals are NOT among the social ills of this land. One cannot open a newspaper or listen to the news via radio and television and NOT hear of some MURDER or any other criminal activity that has taken place. Yet the moment it is mentioned that there is an interest in the CABLE BAHAMAS should look into acquiring LOGOS a committee is formed to combat this, but NOT the REAL issues that we face daily? This HOMOPHOBIA has to be stopped and eradicated. This widespread IGNORANCE was the reason why in 2005 a young lady was decrowned after coming out of the closet; she was not living up to the standards of a CHRISTIAN so she had to go…I WONDER WHO IS? Secondly, the very popular GAY-THEMED MOVIE, Brokeback Mountain was banned because it was not a proper for the persons living here…I WONDER WHO ARE THE PROPER PERSONS? This homophobia has forced most of the gay population in the closet, and as such, there are no annual gay pride street parades or publicly noticeable signs of an organized gay communityI WONDER WHAT HAPPEN IF WE DECIDED TO TAKE OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE? The crazy thing is that most of the persons that go along with this HOMOPHOBIA do it in the name of GOD; I guess RELIGION is TRULY the OPIUM of the masses. These religious leaders take it upon themselves to FIGHT a battle that is non-existent, they seek to destroy what they feel is the ENEMY.

Now I am wondering WHO or WHAT gave these MEN the AUTHORITY to decide that they and only they can GOVERN and CENSOR the entire MORALITY of nation? In this regard, how can they say that they speak for all religion when CHRISTIANITY is NOT the SOLE religion? How do they say that the EXCLUSION of the GREEK ORTHODOX, MUSLIM, HINDI, BUDDIST and any other religion does not matter? The crazy thing is that the Bahamas is filled with persons that do NOT QUESTION or DEMAND answers to things that do not add up. I know that the DOGMA of these persons does NOT define me. I know that GOD is NOT an AGENDA, nor does GOD work like this. How can they live as if KARMA is NOT a factor? I guess if you do things in the NAME of GOD, then all is RIGHTEOUSHE WILL UNDERSTAND. All I know is that GOD made US just like he made THEM and we ALL have a RIGHT to LIFE on this planet. It sad that society does NOT recognize that life is better if WE ALL AGREE to DISAGREE. Not all things will blend, that is why the rainbow has the MANY colors it has; it is REPRESENTIVE of the difference that form a UNITED BODY. Nevertheless, if WE are NOT with THEM, then WE are AGAINST NOT only them but GOD as well. How is this the case? When did GOD say that a few of HIS CREATION are NOT up to standard and needs to fix by those that THINK they are? The CONSEQUENCES of such ACTIONS and EFFECT affects the universe in some way. The principle of CAUSE and EFFECT is the TRUTH that allows us to CHANGE ourselves and the world around us for the BETTER. However, when this UNIVERSAL LAW is ignored we CAN and SHOULD expect dire consequences. Conservative persons need to understand that the influence they wield is infinite and the oppression that they place on US because of their lack of PASSION and UNDERSTANDING is FANATICAL. There seems to be this ENERGY that blocks them from seeing how their lack of guidance determines whether their choice is contributing to HUMANITY’S ILLUSION and setting the stage for TROUBLE. One day they will realize that the CULTIVATION of HUMANITY inevitably leads to a harvest of GOODWILL for ALL. From the moment of BIRTH, WE serve as an AGENT of CHANGE, setting forces beyond OUR comprehension into motion across the surface of the earth and beyond. The thing is that this group of OPPRESSORS fully comprehends the extent of their PURPOSEFUL HEARTLESS INFLUENCE; they can rest assured that it is UNIVERSALLY felt.

No matter what they SAY or DO, no matter if, we get the channel or not; OURS IS A SPECIAL REALITY…NOTHING ORDINARY ABOUT US & THAT IS EVIDENT IN OUR UNIQUE TALENTS. Nonetheless, it HURTS being GAY and live among those that HATE US. This makes me one feel as if they rather NOT be apart of this world living a LIFE of RIDICULE and TORMENT, I can UNDERSTAND why so many HIDE in the CLOSET. However, I know that those that DIED in the name of LIBERATION would not want this for those they left behind; but they are VOICELESS @ least in this realm. Hence, I will head up even though it is VERY tempting to get upset, I have to remember my HUMANESS and get STRONG because I MUST manage the BALANCE that comes along with being GAY. I know that the GREATEST gift I could give MYSELF is to COME OUT OF THE CLOSET and ACCEPT who I am. F&CK the world and what they think, I am ONE with ME and EMBODY MY SEXUALITY. I would LOVE to get out there and fight, I feel so POWERLESS and SMALL, but I know we ALL have different callings and I am in a position to be VICTIMISED; not that I have a problem with that, I have others that are connected to me to consider as well. WE will NEVER get CHANGE because there is GREAT divide between the SISSIES and GAYS within this community. Advocacy is near my heart and truth be knows, WE ALL have a right to what ever opinion we have it’s just that we need to get back to the reason we are on this planet. Nonetheless, I know and they know that they are afraid of us and rightly, so we are VERY powerful, we live LOUDLY! However, underneath all that NOISE, one can hear the WHISPER. Have you noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper? The conservatives are yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise and this only hurts the throat and adds to the chaos. Simultaneously OUR, small voice cannot compete nor will it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. They know it is there and whether they want to hear it or not they will, it is going on around or inside them, they know that @ the end of the day they hear the soft voice underneath the noise. This voice is the TRUE voice of HUMANITY, this voice would never go away; it is here to stay as a reminder of the injustice placed on us. HENCE, MY RESOLVE IS THAT WHEN I FIND MYSELF DEALING WITH PAIN & INJUSTICE, I WILL LISTEN FOR THE VOICE OF TRUTH. THERE IS A SHIFT IN THE WORLD & WE ALL NEED TO BRACE OURSELVES FOR IT, IT WILL COME QUICK, HARD & FAST. WE ARE THE PATH INTO THIS SHIFT; WE ARE THE TRANSITION FROM THIS PHASE OF LIFE TO THE NEXT. SO I WILL ENCOURAGE THE REST OF THE WORLD TO CARRY ON, KEEP US DOWN, FIGHT US ALL THE WAY…YOU ARE ONLY MAKING US STRONGER!

Thursday, September 27, 2007


This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about heart attacks. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating. For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


It can be very easy to get sideline about PROTECTING oneself when it comes to SEX, the TEMPTATION is very great and we are HORMONALLY inclined to indulge ourselves. However, one only has to look around at the broken relationships and ruined lives because of H. I. V. / A. I. D. S. and recognize that WE need to take how WE have SEX serious. There is NEW feature of SEXIST POZ on BGC and I had to write this entry because it did my HEART some good to see such a thing on a site such as this. These MEN are the TESTAMENT to all and FINALLY a face is placed on this disease. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT MOVE BECAUSE THIS WILL DEFINITELY HIT THOSE OF USE THAT ARE STILL IN DENIAL. This is the kind of LIBERATION that the COMMUNITY needs to face itself. For far too long we act as if this disease is a myth and it does not affect anyone. Not only does BGC highlight these MEN, it HONORS them as well, showing that they are very much ALIVE and are still VIABLE options for LIFETIME partners. BGC makes US realize that we ALL have been asleep and for far too long we have been missing the magnificence of the community by NOT accepting those that WE deemed DAMN or DAMAGED. Well that is outdated and if WE inhale slowly and consciously enough, it is almost as if we are drinking in the elixir formed in the boundary between TRUTH and LIES. THANK YOU BGC!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Think about this scenario; YOU LOVE YOUR JOR. YOUR SUPERVISORS GIVE YOU TOP RATINGS. THEN, ONE DAY, IT’S BROUGHT TO LIGHT THAT YOU ARE GAY. YOUR LIFE BECOMES A VIRTUAL HELL & THE WORK PLACE IS YOUR TORMENTOR TRYING TO FORCE YOU TO QUIT. EVENTUALLY YOU ARE ASKED TO EMPTY YOUR DESK INTO A BOX. YOU ARE FIRED! THE REASON? YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION…This took place when I was 21 years old, my entire world CHANGED and my LIFE was turned up side down. Nevertheless, here is the worst part: FIRING ME FOR BEING GAY WAS 100% EASY BECAUSE THEY HID BEHING THE LAW. Now this took such a toll on my professional career because I never gave my all because I was afraid that if I did, that would not be enough; I would be fired for being GAY no matter what. The climate in which I live is a HARSH and CRUEL one, there is NO love for persons like myself and we are seen as the worst of the worst. I lived a life always looking over my shoulders fearing that every time I am summoned to my supervisor’s office I am called there to be told that I was being FIRED. However, today things have changed, I have my confidence back and I am no longer living in FEAR of being FIRED. I work with someone that totally is okay with MY sexuality, there is no problem, and because of this, I am able to be the MAN I am suppose to be. From day one, I was taken under my supervisor’s wing and she made she that I got what I needed to do my job. However, there were times when others came knocking and tried to taint me and she did not allow it, she stood in the way of that HATRED and knocked it down. I was HAPPY that their AGENDA and BIGOTRY was blocked. I AM ELATED THAT I AM BACK ON TRACK & THAT THINGS ARE GOING THE WAY THEY ARE; YET IT STILL SADDENS ME TO KNOW THAT WE LIVE IN A PLANET THAT IS BASED ON THE PRINCIPLE OF EQUALITY. YET CENTURIES LATER, THAT PRINCIPLE DOES NOT APPLY TO ME & OTHERS LIKE MYSELF…NONETHELESS I AM GLAD THAT I WAS TAUGHT THIS LESSON, THIS MAKES ME TRULY APPREICATE LIFE & RESTORES MY CONFIDENCE IN HUMANITY. I do not hold on to the PAST it was dragging me down for far too long. It drained my energy, leaving less available for life in my present because I was constantly feeding on it. I knew that something NEW and BEAUTIFUL COULD grow in its place if I only had the opportunity to prepare the soil and plant the right seeds. Hence, this is how I learned that forgiveness is the soothing balm that can heal regret. I know how KARMA can fix things; make them right I kept them locked in that space of judgment for so long. This action freed me and it is only due to my year of CONFIDENCE.

Monday, September 24, 2007


We all have our own way of being in the world and we all occupy a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are often related to our origins. However, in this life we walk a fine line that is based on a life of SOLITUDE or COMPANIONSHIP. Over the course of my time on this planet, I have met MEN that I thought were @ the time a PERFECT match. WE did not end up where I thought we were going to be and I realized that I had a small glimmer of HOPE that it would change, even though I have NO reason to think otherwise. Nonetheless, the thing about LIFE and TIME is that things CHANGE seasons come and go making the NEW OLD. So, I have come to realize that things did not blossom because they were not meant to be. This made me feel a bit SAD and DEPRESS especially when I found out or heard that they actually ended up dating someone else soon after I decided to leave things to themselves. Silently I wished that I were that person in his BED, HEART and LIFE! I wondered often what was wrong with me, what part of me was not showing that I could be what he needed all along? How could a man NOT see another genuine soul in front of him? I guess I had too many expectations for myself and what I seeking in men…Well NO matter that was then and this is now! I KNOW THAT WHEN I MEET THE MAN THAT I AM MEANT TO BE WITH I WILL RECOGNIZE HIS ENERGY & HE WILL KNOW MINE. For far too long I have been selling myself short, placing him on a pedestal. I based my RELATIONSHIP needs on what I thought I saw and not actually, what was there. NOW I HAVE COME TO A PLACE IN MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE PROCESSED & RELEASED A FEW ISSUES & THIS IS ONE OF THEM. I HAVE ACCEPTED THE BARRIERS THAT KEPT HIM & ME FROM BECOMING WE, NO LONGER DO I TELL MYSELF THAT I AM WHAT HE SHOULD WANT or NEED. EITHER HE KNOWS IT OR…WHEN I AM HIT WITH THE THOUGHTS OF LOVE THAT I WANT TO GIVE & NO ONE TO GIVE IT TO, I WILL REMEMBER THAT I AM IN THIS PLACE, IN THIS TIME FOR A REASON. I HAVE ACCEPTED THE PLEASANT REALITY THAT WAS WITH ME FOR A LONG TIME & NOW I AM HONESTLY, COMPLETELY & GLEEFULLY SO OVER IT!

Sunday, September 23, 2007


…I become so afraid that I may have to live a life that is LESS than what I want for myself. I have this DREAM and as time go on I wonder if it will ever come to fruition. For a long time now, I have decided or rather it was decided that I COULD NOT accept a MAN that is NOT what I NEED or WANT in my life. Now it is interesting because there are very few MEN that I can choose from and the ones that are available; well let us just they leave me with an even GREATER fear. I have all this LOVE and no one to share it with, I meet MEN that I think could be potentially what I am looking for, but they more times that I care to recount turn out to be someone that is NOT for me. I think that as I move forward I will be ALONE because I am TOO much for most of them and the sad thing is that I am afraid because this always turns out to the TRUTH! I wish most times that I were just your AVERAGE man and that I did not have a BRAIN, SOUL or HEART; then I would be like everyone else and live a life that is just ordinary. I could be one of those men that treat another man as my property as if I own him, rather than the LOVE of my life. A DAMAGE man will not do, he is too F&CKED up mentally and all he has is a life full of HOMOPHOBIC persons that make him that way. I am tired of the MAN that EQUATES SEX with LOVE, tell me how it is better to have SEX over SUBSTANCE. I don’t understand how is that most GAY men don’t know what a LTR looks like, it’s as if it’s a concept that bears no meaning and I am suppose to date someone with that way of thinking? I want a man that knows and believes that LOVE conquers all, but not before, we go through some things to prove worthy of LOVE. Give me a man that has STRUCTURE and use SOUND judgment, so many times men come and give the same thing as if they all go to the same school and copy off each other’s test paper; I don’t have time for those type of men. WHY CAN’T I FIND THE MAN THAT HAS THE BALLS TO BE A MAN? WHERE IS THE MAN THAT CAN FACE LIFE & ACCEPT THE HAND HE IS DEALT? I LONG FOR THE KEITHBOYKINS, KENNETH WINFREYS & RODS OF THE WORLD, GIVE ME THE MAN THAT IS ABOUT SOMETHING, THE MAN THAT WANTS CHANGE! I WANT A MAN THAT WANTS A LIFE WITH ANOTHER MAN; A MAN THAT CAN LOVE ANOTHER SEX JUST LIKE HIS & HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH THAT…LORD KNOWS SOMETIMES…I JUST WANT A REAL MAN, I WONDER IF HE IS OUT THERE?

Saturday, September 22, 2007


What is Meth?
Crystal is methamphetamine, a highly addictive synthetic central nervous system stimulant. Commonly known as Crystal because in its purist form it comes as a white, semi-clear, crystalline rock or powder, it is also referred to as Tina, Ice, or Crissy. In its less pure form, meth is called speed or crank. As a solid rock form, it is known as tweak or raw. The chemicals used to make meth are extremely toxic. They include sinus medication, acetone, rubbing alcohol, brake cleaner, ether, drain cleaner (sulfuric acid), methanol, lithium from car batteries, farm fertilizer, lye, red phosphorus, muriatic acid and iodine. (Meth 101 copy provided in part by

Why the Link to Gay Men?
Meth’s allure and ravages are indiscriminate. While meth is not a gay drug, there is currently a dangerous trend among gay men and meth use. Homophobia, isolation, body image, and party and sex culture all contribute to the allure of meth in the gay community, and meth has been linked to a recent rise in new HIV infections.

What’s the Fuss?
Why do gay and bisexual men use crystal? There are many reasons, but the primary reason is because it feels good. Perhaps the most popular and well-known side effect of meth is the SEX!

Crystal is an incredible ride, that:

  • Increases sex drive.
  • Keeps the sex going longer.
  • Makes the sex more intense.
  • Reduces your inhibitions, allowing you to try new ways to get off.
  • Allows for taboo sex.

Crystal is a powerful stimulant. Some gay men like it because they can dance for hours on end, or simply mix it up and party with friends. No doubt, many gay men like crystal because of the feelings of power and confidence it gives them. Crystal can help men meet, connect with, and feel close to other gay men. And many say it helps make them feel better about themselves, feel socially fearless and takes away the moody blues. Others use it to study, finish housework, or get lost in an art project or craft experiment for several hours. When high on meth, many men lose their appetite. With prolonged use, some men will lose weight. Weight loss is a perceived benefit of meth use. Many guys struggling with HIV related issues use meth because it helps them forget about life with HIV or AIDS for a little while. When you’re high, you forget about depression, anxiety or shame because of HIV, and the energy helps offset fatigue from the meds.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Life Goes On
In every human life,
There are some moments when one is sad and depressed
Frustrated from every zone of life,
And feel like leaving everything & going away
And Life Goes on...
Some moments in which
one is wrapped with tensions
one wants to get out of them and fly high in the sky
But cant run away, and life goes on...
Some moments in which,
one who adores hurts sentiments,
one needs a support,
a shoulder to dry on,
But doesn’t find one, and life goes on...
Some moments in which one gets tired of life
or so intensely hurt that one wants to die
one wishes to end up with
life at that very moment, and life goes on...
And in every human life on day arrives
when there is a big halt to one's life.
and then the people cry
and show that they were concerned
Then the question arises
do they wait for one's death,
to care, to understand the one
if so, then wait till death and until then

Thursday, September 20, 2007


In the grand scheme of things, I more often wonder if the things I want and need really matters to others whom I share this planet. I ask this question because too many times I have to deal with situations and events that force me to swallow whatever pill being PRACTICALLY shoved down my throat. Now the strange thing about me is that others would say that I am a B!TCH and an individual that only cares about himself, which totally is NOT the truth. I have more times than I care to count placed others before myself and as life would have it I am the one that is the left out in the cold. Nevertheless, I cannot say that I am blameless; I however allowed others to place me last and themselves first. Yet still as I live do I ever do anything without CONSIDERING others especially if they are directly effected. Never would I have an attitude that @ anytime display the MY WAY or NO WAY syndrome. I am the most UNCOMPLICATED, EASY-GOING & SELFLESS person I know and sadly, @ the end of it all I DO NOT MATTER! I GUESS THIS IS APART OF WHAT IS CALL LIFE…MY LIFE THAT IS! How do I get a BREAK or CONSIDERATION for the place I occupy on this planet? I am ADAPTABLE and PLIABLE, always ensuring that I accommodate others and their needs; I am very much aware of the BLACK n’ WHITE variations of life. However, I live my life thinking that most of us are in that GREY area and this is where the overlapping of LIFE truly lies. Nonetheless, I am the GREY matter and I DO NOT matter because I get the treated otherwise. I would love to say that it does not HURT or AFFECTS me, but I am HUMAN and this does hurt. I feel life’s PAIN just like anyone; I guess my SOLE purpose is to feel MORE pain than the rest of the world. I know that may seem like an exaggeration, but it is how I feel…IT IS JUST HOW MY LIFE IS…

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


He told me that I gave him a new dawn,

I dared him to embrace it.

He told me that there is darkness in his life,

I dared him to shine his light.

He told me that he had so many unjust events in his life,

I dared him to condemn them. He told me that life seemed difficult,

I dared him to do it anyway.

He told me that life seems to beat him down,

I dared him to fight back!

He told me that he felt hopeless,

I dared him to find some.
He told me that he was tired,

I dared him to keep going.
He told me that times were tough,

I dared him to be tougher!
He told me that love hurt him,

I dared him to love again.

He told me that he was hurting,

I dared him to heal.

He told me that he felt lost,

I dared him to find his way.
He told me that he was glad that he met me,

And I dared him to feel ALIVE WITH LIFE!
© tgk

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


The best way to KEEP A GAY MAN DOWN is for HIM to deny that he exists. Hence, the greatest LIE ever told; tell society that we don’t exist and we become a figment of our own imagination. Admitting to oneself that he LIKES or have an ATTRACTION for another MAN is one of the hardest things in this world. The issues that HOMOSEXUALS face on daily basis are now in the forefront of the world today and the things being said are not least bit flattering. Nevertheless, it takes a lot of STRENGTH and COURAGE to embrace ones SEXUALITY. 
I understand the need for hesitance and apprehension; however many MEN do not understand that this simply is a TRANSITIONAL phase and this too shall pass. My coming out was not by choice, I was never given the chance to find out what a closet is all about; but I would not change a single thing. The path that was laid before me was one that had been chosen for me and I am just living it. This makes me believe that ALL men that are a part of this community to whatever degree want to be ACCEPTED. The thing is that MEN that deny who they are have no clue where they belong and this further complicates things because the WORLD has placed this need to be NORMAL. So this then begs to ask WHAT IS NORMAL? 
If only these MEN could understand that being, GAY does not define who you are or make you any less of a person, then they wouldn’t choose to keep themselves down. Because of their fear, they would not associate with persons that have accepted themselves and they surround themselves with persons that further causes more harm to them. This harm comes in a package titled CHRISTIANITY. This movement has had such a negative depiction of sex that occurs between persons of the SAME SEX that we are still living this legacy even though many of us know better. It is still SAD that MEN cannot see pass what is being done them; how can a movement that is presumably for the betterment of ALL of US focus on just one main issue? How can they TRULY be justified in their thinking and motive? One almost never hear of this movement say anything about the ethics revolving around HEALTH, WAGES or other SOCIAL ISSUES. It is as if these topics do not involve serious ethical questions at all. Yet most MEN let this dictate who they are and what they do. THEY ALLOW A GROUP OF PERSONS TO MAKE THEMSELVES SUPERIOR & THEY FEEL INFERIOR. I WONDER WHY THEY WOULD CHOOSE TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE PUT DOWN IN A WAY THAT TOTALLY AFFECTS THEIR LIVES?

Monday, September 17, 2007


HIV EXPOSURE - How many times have YOU been exposed to the disease by someone that has come in contact with it? I read somewhere that if one assumes that each time you had a new partner, they had only as many partners as you’ve had. So when you had your first, then it is assumed you were his first. You now have one person who has only had you as a partner. ADD to that a second partner who is in the same situation as you — only having one prior partner. Now you are exposed to your first, your second, plus your second’s partner’s first, and so on. See how it works? Funny how a little sex goes a long way. So my initial question that asks, HOW CLOSE in my opinion is a very VALID and IMPORTANT one. If when you have sex with someone, you are essentially having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years. How can we NOT think OR realize that we have come in contact with someone that has the HIV VIRUS? I am not saying NOT to have SEX, nonetheless please ensure that you USE A CONDOM @ ALL TIMES… SAFE SEX IS HOT SEX. IT IS TIME TO FACE FACTS…HIV HASN’T GONE AWAY & IT IS AN ISSUE FOR EVERYONE. FORTY MILLION (40,000,000) PEOPLE ARE CURRENTLY INFECTED WITH THE AIDS VIRUS & 8,000 ARE DYING EVERYDAY. Unprotected sex is a form of gambling more akin to Russian roulette. There is really no measure of probability you can apply. You may get away it, but you may not and the price you pay is a very high one. SO LET US SPREAD THE NEWS...NOT THE DISEASE! WE HAVE THE POWER TO STOP HIV/AIDS AND OTHER FORMS OF STD! WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AS LONG AS WE ENDEVEOUR TO LOVE OURSELVES & OUR SEXUAL PARTNER(S).

Sunday, September 16, 2007


It's the difference between wanting to exercise and actually doing it. That's why the advice you're about to read is priceless. In this article you’ll find the favorite motivational strategies of the top personal trainers in the country.

  1. Make a 'friendly' bet: Challenge your nemesis — that idea-stealing coworker or a non-mowing neighbor — to a contest. The first person to drop 15 pounds wins. The key: Make sure it's someone you don't particularly like.
  2. Tie exercise to your health: Check your cholesterol. Then set a goal of lowering your LDL cholesterol by 20 points and increasing your HDL cholesterol by 5 points. You'll decrease your risk of heart disease while providing yourself with a very important, concrete goal. Ask your doctor to write a prescription for new blood work in a month. You'll just have to go to the lab, and the doctor will call you with the results.
  3. Switch your training partners: Working out with a partner who will hold you accountable for showing up at the gym works well—for a while. But the more familiar you are with the partner, the easier it becomes to back out of workout plans. Close friends and family members don't always make the best training partners because they may allow you to slack off or cancel workouts. To keep this from happening, find a new, less forgiving workout partner every few months.
  4. Compete: Find a sport or event that you enjoy, and train to compete in it. It adds a greater meaning to each workout.
  5. Do a daily gut check: Place your fingers on your belly and inhale deeply so that it expands. As you exhale, contract your abdominal muscles and push your fingertips against your hard abdominal wall. Now pinch. You're holding pure fat between your fingers. Do this every day, 30 minutes before your workout, and you'll find that you'll rarely decide to skip it.
  6. Burn a workout CD: Studies have shown that people who pedal stationary cycles while listening to their favorite music will do so longer and more intensely than people who exercise without music. So burn a disc with your favorite adrenaline-boosting songs.
  7. Plan your workouts in advance: At the start of each month, schedule all of your workouts at once, and cross them off as they're completed. For an average month, you might try for a total of 16 workouts. If any are left undone at the end of the month, tack them on to the following month. And make sure you have a contingency plan for bad weather and unscheduled meetings.
  8. Schedule a body-composition test every 2 months: It'll provide you with a clear end date for the simple goal of losing body fat or gaining muscle. Tangible results are the best motivator. Your gym probably offers the service for a small fee — just makes sure the same trainer performs the test each time.
  9. Don't do what you hate: If you loathe going to a gym, try working out at home. (If you despise the treadmill, then jump ropes, lifts weights, or find a basketball court. Bottom line: If you're sick of your routine, find a new one.
  10. Go through the motions: On days when you don't feel like working out, make the only requirement of your exercise session a single set of your favorite exercise. It's likely that once you've started, you'll finish.

Saturday, September 15, 2007


Ask one of your friends if they eat healthy and they will most likely reply, “Yeah, I eat pretty health. I mean at least when I can.” Many African Americans feel like they eat healthy and those that feel they aren’t eating so healthy don’t feel that their diets are that bad. Most of us are unintentionally eating more calories than we think we are and neglecting nutrients that we tend to forget about. But fret not; if you can kick a few bad habits - 10 to be exact - you're bound to drop the pounds.
  1. Mindless Eating: You grab a handful of M&M's from your colleague's desk, test the spaghetti sauce while you're cooking and dig into a few bites of your spouses dessert. Never mind the kids' leftover PB&J crusts or the hidden oil in your cafe lunch. Unfortunately, these little indulgences add up to weighty matters on the scale.
  2. Putting Others' Needs Before Your Own: You love veggies. Your spouse digs meat and potatoes. What gives? Your significant other wins, hands down. Throw kids into the mix and hot dogs, hamburgers and French fries win out every time - unless you put on the brakes.
  3. Not Being Honest: Most people drastically underestimate the number of calories they eat. We downplay our Krispy Kreme intake and play up our cardio workout. And with restaurant portion sizes on the rise, many of us have no concept of a "standard" USDA serving size.
  4. Skip the Broccoli, Eat the Fries: If you do nothing more than double your current intake of fruits and vegetables, you'd be on your way to eating a good diet.
  5. Setting Off Without a Plan: It's easy to overeat if you don't have a road map specifying your diet and exercise goals. Keep a food diary, set measurable, attainable goals and stick to them.
  6. Excuses, Excuses, Excuses: Whether it's a sluggish metabolism, lack of time or our poor diets, we're masters of coming up with excuses. Change your outlook, believe you can lose weight (make the time, decompress, whatever) and set priorities accordingly.
  7. I'm Moody - Let's Eat: People turn to food for comfort. Overindulging may make you feel good in the moment, it sets you up for diet disaster over the long haul.
  8. Give Me the Quick Fix, Now! We've all fallen prey to the latest fad diet, downing gallons of cabbage soup, eating nothing but grapefruit or loading up on eggs and bacon grease. The end result is always the same: We gain the weight back and then some.
  9. Drinking Away Our Waistlines: People who drink soda consume more calories. Alcohol isn't much better. It's very common to eat more or make poor food choices when you've had a drink or two.
  10. The All-or-Nothing Approach to Dieting: If you ate a plate of fries, you might feel like you've blown it. Don't let one setback completely derail you. Instead, focus on baby steps and reward yourself along the way.

Friday, September 14, 2007


  1. Add just one fruit or veggie serving daily. Get comfortable with that and then add an extra serving until you reach 8 to 10 a day.
  2. Eat at least two servings of a fruit or veggie at every meal.
  3. Resolve never to super size your food portions (unless you want to super size your clothes).
  4. Make eating purposeful, not mindless. Whenever you put food in your mouth, peel it, unwrap it, plate it and sit. Engage all of the senses in the pleasure of nourishing your body.
  5. Start eating a big breakfast. It helps you eat fewer total calories throughout the day.
  6. Make sure your plate is half veggies and/or fruit at both lunch and dinner.
  7. Eating out? Halve it, and bag the rest. A typical restaurant entree has 1,000 to 2,000 calories, not even counting the bread, appetizer, beverage and dessert.
  8. When dining out, make it automatic: Order one dessert to share.
  9. Use a salad plate instead of a dinner plate.
  10. See what you eat. Plate your food instead of eating out of the jar or bag.
  11. Eat the low-cal items on your plate first, and then graduate. Start with salads, veggies, and broth soups, and eat meats and starches last. By the time you get to them, you'll be full enough to be content with smaller portions of the high-calorie choices.
  12. Instead of whole milk, switch to 1 percent. If you drink one 8-oz glass a day, you'll lose 5 lbs in a year.
  13. Juice has as many calories, ounce for ounce, as soda. Set a limit of one 8-oz glass of fruit juice a day.
  14. Get calories from foods you chew, not beverages. Have fresh fruit instead of fruit juice.
  15. Keep a food journal. It really works wonders.
  16. Follow the Chinese saying: "Eat until you are eight-tenths full."
  17. Use mustard instead of mayo.
  18. Eat more soup. The non-creamy ones are filling but low-cal.
  19. Cut back on or cut out caloric drinks such as soda, sweet tea, lemonade, etc. People have lost weight by making just this one change. If you have a 20-oz bottle of Coca-Cola every day, switch to Diet Coke. You should lose 25 lbs in a year.
  20. Take your lunch to work.
  21. Sit when you eat.
  22. Dilute juice with water.
  23. Have mostly veggies for lunch.
  24. Eat at home.
  25. Limit alcohol to weekends.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I really believe that when two human beings share love’s energy combined with erotic energies, a transcendent experience occurs, one that is REAL & PROFOUND. This can be achieved with a conscious give and take and an open-heart. SEX is GREAT but LOVE forces the communication of our needs, desires and fantasies. Contrary to what some believe about SEX, we need to learn that a healthy union requires tenderness that is mostly absent when we just have SEX. True lovemaking is a holistic experience, interweaving our higher and our shadow selves-how cementing something very intimate. However, when SEX happens without the anchor of LOVE we deplete our energy levels and the heart is not very satisfied. SEX has more to do with feelings like neediness, escape, and proving one’s self-worth, than seeking something that can extend beyond itself. I LOVE SEX JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT MAN, HOWEVER I MISS NOT HAVING LOVE TO GO ALONG WITH THE SEX. They say SEX is a state of mind and it leaves one feeling good; taking you places that you would not ordinarily go on your own. Nonetheless, SEX cannot anchor me to another beyond the activity that it produces; LOVE is the only thing that can do that. Pure SEX is about the nude male body, his chest, lips and the rest; only LOVE can make me truly appreciate those body parts. From the crack of his ass, leading to the spot between the testicles and ass can only be treasured via LOVE. Only LOVE makes me cherish kisses and the way they make us feel. The way he smiles @ me, the way he walks and talks can only be LOVE. IT IS IN LOVE WHEN I CAN TRULY APPRECIATE A MAN IN HIS ENTIRETY.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


…Knows that you know that I know
That you know you love me,
But you know that you don’t.
I now know that you don’t LOVE
If you did I wouldn’t be writing this about you.
You rented me HEART n’ SOUL,
I was something that you borrowed to make yourself feel like LOVE.
Now we have no REAL connection, no (LOVE) loyalty

And now I am on this battleground fighting for my SOUL.
DAMN you me feel like loving me has been nothing but a house chore;
Now I sit waiting on you clean me and make me whole.
I wish I had listen to the voice of my heart,
Now I know that you placed a temporary rule
And I like a F&CKING fool didn’t safeguard my home.
I left my castle unprotected seeking comfort in my failure.
Reflecting on you the things that brought me here

One would think that I would know better

This isn’t my first time down this road.

You came to me,

But not like the others

And soon I found myself naked.

Terrified and full of fear.

But I was hopeless,

As I open my soul to accept you.

The raw, untamed beauty love is unparallel.

It would take a colder soul than mine to be left unaffected by its passion.

Now the aftermath created a new world.

Broken branches on the ground,

Driftwood on the shore,

A fallen angel in my heart

As I separate myself from reality

Hoping my heart would stop…

No more beating,

No more yearning,

No more loving…

This heart is like a leaf in the wind,

As I desperately pull inspiration by the tail.

I can pretend, forget everything,

But the thing is...

My days go by...

And I still feel blue…lonely,

Confuse and in agony

I face the doubt…the anxiety;
I have to accept the harsh realities!

Not seeing a light...anywhere,

I just keep sinking into the darkness...

Turning dark blue,

Reaching a critical degree of love!

As I try to remember the purity of love,
The unselfish love,
That idealism that has persisted through all the tempest of my life.

Now my soul cries because time is passing so slowly

And I have lost love…

Damn this stupid heart of mine!
© tgk

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


IT HAS BEEN SIX YEARS SINCE THE ATTACK ON THE WORLD TRADE CENTRE & THIS YEAR I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO REFLECT ON THE EVENTS THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY FROM GROUND ZERO. It is hard to see just empty space where such a massive structure once was. I guess the space represents the emptiness that not only America feels, but the world as well. I still cannot wrap my mind around the thought that something like this took place; I imagine the FEAR and PAIN those caught in this tragic event must have felt. This was truly the day the WORLD stood STILL and watched in horror how HATRED, IGNORANCE & COLDNESS can DESTROY so many lives. I KNOW MANY WON’T FORGET, I KNOW I CERTAINLY WON’T.

Monday, September 10, 2007


Back in the 1950s and 1960s, the only place that it was safe for GAYS & LESBIANS to gather was GAY bars. In the 1960s, the police would often raid these bars and arrest the patrons. Back then, there were laws on the books that said it was illegal to wear more than two pieces of clothing of the opposite sex. Police would arrest men for wearing dresses and women for wearing pants. One day in June of 1969, the patrons of the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village, New York decided they were not going to put up with the police raiding their bars any longer. When the police came, the bar patrons fought back. That event has gone down in history as the Stonewall Riots. Ever since, GAYS, LESBIANS, BISEXUALS & TRANSGENDER people celebrate pride and call for basic civil rights by commemorating Stonewall. Across the US and all over the world, GAYS & LESBIANS remember the brave men and women of Stonewall in GAY PRIDE celebrations. However in Atlanta I feel that the celebrations there actually warrant the treatment of that in the 1950s and 1960s.
Atlanta is the capital and the most populous city of the state of Georgia, and the core city of the ninth most populous metropolitan area in the United States. Every Labor Day Holiday weekend thousands of SGLP gather for what in my opinion should be a celebration of the struggles those before us endured. I have heard stories about the things that go on @ events during this time in Atlanta and got an opportunity to see it first-hand. I find it sad that they honor STRONG n’ FIT bodies for SEXUAL reasons and not for the reasons intended by those that came before us. When an individual is seen as STRONG n’ FIT others within society does not see HIM/HER as a WEAKLING rather they are seen as the MEN & WOMEN that they are. The amount of CRUISING & FUCKING that goes on is rather SAD because I am sure @ least 80% of them are not protecting themselves. The homosexual of color is not involved in the events that non-colored folks arrange and get into. TOPS DOWN & BOTTOMS UP is the order of the day. @ the mall, the parking lots in the club and the parks are all used as opportunities to get off. I am aware that not every single MAN or WOMAN that go to Atlanta for GAY PRIDE get involve in such activity; after all I didn’t…I am saying that the majority of the persons there are seeking such activities. It’s as if they don’t know that GAY PRIDE refers to a world wide movement and philosophy asserting that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals should be proud of their sexual orientation and gender identity. I wish they understood that the movement has three main purposes: THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE PROULD OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER IDENTITY, THAT SEXUAL DIVERSITY IS A GIFT & THAT SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER IDENTITY ARE INHERENT & CANNOT BE INTENTIONALLY ALTERED.
NOW @ THE WATERING HOLE…THE PLACE WHERE ALL HOMOSEXUAL COME TOGETHER AS ONE COMMUNITY IN CELEBRATION OF EACH TURNS OUT TO BE A PLACE THE MIRRORS THE WATERING HOLE IN NATURE. I feel that I came to Atlanta to PENETRATE THE DARKNESS & SHED SOME LIGHT on my fellow KIN BROTHERS & SISTERS. One would think that WE would recognize animals as teachers and see their traits as something that we should emulate entirely. After all we are the domestic creatures, the ones that a step above the animals. Nonetheless, the behavior displayed leaves a lot to be desired. I wish that HOMOSEXUALS knew that they are STRONGER than they know. We have the capacity to cope successfully with life's challenges far outstripping OUR feeling that we need to. We have the opportunity to spread OUR wings and fly. We are different but we display the bad things that make us this way to the world. Mere words cannot describe who I wish we could be right now; we should be the LIGHT that has conquered the darkness by pushing it out of the way. We have come into the darkness and transform it with brilliant, positive energy. However, this is not the case GAY PRIDE is wasted every year and the community does not move forward. THIS EVENT IS USED AS A TIME WHEN WE EMBRACE OUR FELLOW MAN BECAUSE WE WANT TO GET IN HIS PANTS. WE COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS WHICH DOES NOT MAKE US ANY BETTER THAN THE OTHER. SO NOW I ASK HOW DO WE CHANGE THINGS? HOW DO WE TAKE US TO THE NEXT LEVEL? HOW DO WE HONOR THE REAL REASON FOR GAY PRIDE?