I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Friday, May 30, 2014


There are times when we just want to get some satisfaction without having to long online, seduce and spend hours trying to get someone to come over. Some men don’t want to take the time pleasing someone else when they need a release. With these in mind, here are masturbation techniques that spice things up and make your play time even hotter. These tips use my new sex lube JUS.


Laverne Cox looks smashing on the new cover of Time. And her interview is an illuminating must-read.

One of the most touching memories: when she was a boy, she remembers going to dance class but being barred from ballet because “ballet was too gay.” It was just one instance of gender stopping her from what she wanted, and suffering because of the attitudes of those around her.

It didn’t end there, of course. In third grade, she had an epiphany when she realized she might have to be male her whole life. Prior to that, she thought she might just develop into a girl all by herself. And in sixth grade, when she started to really be attracted to boys, she tried to kill herself.

Fortunately — for all of us — she lived. And she began leaning on her creative talents to pull her through the rough times, and started exploring androgyny in her teens.

These days, she notes, trans people are increasingly seizing control of their own stories. Previously, a lot of trans conversation was filtered through cis media, but now folks like Cox and Janet Mock are speaking out and being listened to. This fall, Cox will appear in a documentary on Logo and MTV called Trans Teen, which follows the gender-journeys of young folks between the ages of 14 and 24.
But there’s a long way to go, of course, before people really understand what trans people want to talk about. Just this year, Katie Couric probed Cox about her genitals, which is like starting an interview with Barney Frank, “so, I know we’re here to talk about your work around employment nondiscrimination, but are you into oral or anal?”

(FWIW, the Time interview does not delve into surgery or genitals or hormones, which shows remarkable restraint for a mainstream publication. Particularly one that’s read pretty much exclusively in medical waiting rooms.)

Cox ends the interview with a memory of a child she met named Soleil. Just six years old, Soleil was bullied at school in a way that reminded Cox of her own childhood. “I just thought about how young six years old really is and how innocent six years old really is,” she said. “And we need to protect our children from that and allow them to be themselves.”


Thursday, May 29, 2014


I was recently thinking about all the things I meant to write about, but for one reason or another, I haven’t. Maybe I didn’t want to be judged and subject myself to stigma. But I’ve come to the conclusion that there will always be people who can’t understand my choices because their minds are already made up. So be it.

I need to confess something. Ever since those early days of the AIDS crisis, I have been attracted to guys who are HIV-positive. Mainly, I wanted someone with a job who was able to support himself, a place to live other than his parents’ basement, and a sense of style and humor that most people would appreciate, but above all, someone who sees the whole picture. By that I mean someone who can see past his own nose—a good deed doer, in other words. Those are the guys who, I think, have potential for the best chemistry.

It just so happens that many of the guys I started dating in the 1980s and early ’90s turned out to be HIV-positive. Coincidentally, they were also real and unpretentious.

Think about it. Just for a moment, put yourself in someone else’s shoes. After weeks of running a low-grade fever, an occasional bout with thrush, and some nasty skin rashes, you decide to get yourself checked. After a grueling wait period, the diagnosis comes back. You are HIV-positive.

You let this unwanted stranger sit with you and follow you everywhere. What goes through your mind? Josh Robbins, who writes the blog I’m Still Josh, says he seemed to expect the news but still needed to stop and catch his breath. Then he moved forward and said, “Well, I got some work to do to bring that viral load down.”

Another blogger, Patrick Ingram of Poz+ Life of Patrick, admits to leaving the clinic feeling scared and alone after he was told he tested positive, but then he immediately turned it around, offering to help anyone who suspects that they might also have the virus.

“I’ll go with you if you live in my area,” he said. “Please, please don’t do this alone.”

You can’t get any more real and compassionate than these two guys, and they put my other friends to shame—people who seem more concerned about where to travel for vacation than they do about the greater good.

Yes, I know some HIV-positive guys who keep their illness at a distance, compartmentalizing their life and pretending everything is OK. My former partner Robert, who was diagnosed with AIDS in 1994, first told everybody, including his family, that he had “a blood cancer.” He thought it would get him a little more sympathy than an AIDS diagnosis. He was right, but in the end, his denial only delayed his healing.

I’m sure that my positive friends have some down days like everybody else. But what I see in them is a passionate push to move forward and get past the bad stuff. They have a brand of courage, optimism, and strength, oddly coupled with a sweet vulnerability, that, quite frankly, I find attractive. These are the kind of qualities I want in the person I grow old with.

The first week of November, my boyfriend and I attended the wedding of one of my friends, Jay, and his new husband, Angelo. To me, there was no discernible difference between this wedding and any other. There was love, excitement, apprehension, and all those emotions that come with the ritual celebration of marriage.

This wedding also marked a victory of sorts. Like so many HIV-positive men I know, Jay once wondered whether he would be seen as lovable with his HIV-positive status. I suppose Angelo saw the same kind of thing I have seen so many times in Jay. He is flawed like every other person I know (myself included). But he’s also a guy who is always real and kind, who has a clear-eyed focus on the future—a man you’ll find laughing and crying like the rest of us.



Robert De Niro has said he wished he had learned more about his father’s sexuality when he was alive.

The Oscar winner has opened up about his late father, Robert De Niro Sr - a New York City artist, in a new documentary.

He said he wanted to shed light on his father’s legacy and reflect on how much times have changed for gay people.

‘It was my responsibility to make a documentary about him,’ the 70-year-old actor told Out magazine.

‘I was always planning on doing it, but never did. Then Jane Rosenthal, my partner at Tribeca [Enterprises], said, “We should start doing that now.” It was not intended to be on HBO. It was just something I wanted to do.’

In the documentary, Remembering the Artist: Robert De Niro, Sr, it was revealed his father was always conflicted about his homosexuality.

‘Yeah, he probably was, being from that generation, especially from a small town upstate,’ De Niro said.

‘I was not aware, much, of it. I wish we had spoken about it much more. My mother didn't want to talk about things in general, and you're not interested when you're a certain age.

‘Again, for my kids, I want them to stop and take a moment and realize that you sometimes have to do things now instead of later, because later may be 20 years from now—and that's too late.’

Even though his dad died more than 20 years ago, De Niro continues to preserve his father’s final home and art studio in SoHo.
‘It was the only way to keep his being, his existence alive,’ De Niro said. ‘To me, he was always a great artist.’

Remembering the Artist: Robert De Niro Sr airs on HBO on 9 June.


Wednesday, May 28, 2014


WINSTON-SALEM — Maya Angelou, writer of the classic autobiography "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" has died. She was 86.
Her death comes days after canceling her appearance at the Major League Baseball Beacon Awards luncheon, where she was to be honored.
We're told she was found unresponsive inside her Winston-Salem home.
Angelou was a renowned poet, historian and civil rights advocate. As an actress and screen writer, she was hailed as a trailblazer. Her script for the film Georgia was the first ever by an African American woman. It was also nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.
Memorial arrangements for Angelou have not yet been released.


A high school in Danbury, CT, made local history this weekend as it crowned the first gay male prom queen in the school’s history.
Students from Danbury High School gave a standing ovation as Nasir Fleming took the stage at the Matrix Center on Friday night to accept the crown. “I was shocked to see how awesome and supportive my peers are,” Fleming told Queerty. “I received a decent amount of negative backlash, so I was surprised when I won.”

Fleming, who says he’s “very well liked” at school but “not immune to criticism nor judgement,” says he hopes his reign as prom queen will spread a message of acceptance. “The problem is that we’re taught to tolerate, but we need to accept everyone,” he says.

Fleming tells Queerty he’s out at school and was voted prom queen by an election held by his peers. He owes his glowing self-acceptance in part to his “uber-supportive” family. “I live with my uncle and he was more excited about me being crowned than I was,” he tells us. “I’m very thankful to have him as a form of support, I don’t know if I would have had the opportunity to be who I am and be elected as prom queen if it wasn’t for him raising me.”

Although Fleming does not identify as transgender, he hopes his victory will serve to inspire the countless trans students facing discrimination during prom court season:
My main reason for wanting to win prom queen is to show the school, and hopefully the world, that if a spunky, odd gay kid can win prom queen, then anyone can! This message is mainly for transgendered people, because they seem to face so much backlash for simply being themselves. If I can win a title that is out of my gender, anyone else should be able to, including transgendered people.

I also want other LGBT youth that our main purpose in life is to make ourselves happy. Very often we conform to societal norms in order to be accepted, and it is not acceptable for us to shun a perfectly fine part of ourselves. We are the innovators of the future, we are the future and we can make a change.