I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Saturday, May 31, 2008


Today things were back to normal…WHAT EVER THAT IS…Nonetheless, my friends and I spend time with each other like we ALWAYS do over coffee; only this it was the ORIGINAL group that came together to give each other a SECOND CHANCE. I find it interesting how when we meet someone for the first time, we often create a defining image in our minds of who that person is. We may also determine whether OR not that someone is worth getting to know. Sometimes when an initial interaction is particularly uncomfortable or challenging, we can decide to close our hearts to this new acquaintance entirely. But being too quick to judge can cause us to lose out on a potentially wonderful, enriching relationship. First impressions don’t always give the complete picture, so if you meet someone who leaves you less than impressed; consider giving them a second chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. Everyone deserves to be given a second chance and I glad that we did this for each other today. I know from personal experience how painful it can feel to be misunderstood or judged and I know that we all have good hearts and want them to be seen. We have so much to offer each other AND when we shut each other out before they got to see who we REALLY are; it is VERY hurtful AND confusing. Hence, by giving this SECOND CHANCE, we are simply extending the same courtesy we would ask for ourselves. In this way, we set a precedent for OUR relationships: to allow everyone the freedom and safety to simply be human. If WE give each other the room to be who they are, where they are, they will allow the same for us…

Thursday, May 29, 2008

IF I...

If I could

I wouldn’t

I can’t

So I won’t’

For my reason is unreasonable

And I am living the unthinkable

Looking forward to look back

Trying to catch my shadow

On the hunting ground of my soul…

As I sail

Between the present and future

In the middle of somewhere

Where LOVE lies

Finding the cemetery of my dreams and memories

That have lived and died in my eye

Now the I that is I

Has all but forgotten why

Logic does NOT rule my heart anymore

It seems in order to be

Free to fly

I must let myself die

Why, I don't know why

I only wish LOVE could tell me

But it has no eyes

And my mind is full of time

Of what was and will be

Trying to see all is a mystery to me

Can’t you see?

I don’t have the words for what I am saying

I am but a silent witness

To what is happening to me

Alas I must give to what is

And what must be

If only I could…

© tgk

Wednesday, May 28, 2008



It is upon he

Growing inside

Flowing through his blood

It wants to win

It doesn't live for he

Can’t let it control

As he goes through the…

The abuse

The rape

The stress

The pain

He can get through this

He needs ot look inside

Find the strength

And couquer this demon

And see it as...

Health Is Valued

Hope Is Virtuous

Heart is Vast
Happiness Invades Vulnerability

It is said that, IN THE GREAT SYMPHONY OF LIFE, WE ALL HAVE IMPORTANT PARTS TO PLAY. While some people are best suited to be conductors or soloists, their contributions would be diminished considerably without the individual musicians that lend their artistry to the fullness of an orchestra. I have a close friend of mine that has HIV and of course from moment he told me that he had this disease it has been just him and me. I had NO problems with this; however, I felt that he should let others know so that they can offer him the much needed assistance he would require for the fight that is upon him. After about 6 months he came out AND revealed his situation to another friend in our group. I don’t think that he will die from the disease anytime soon but I am worried that he is worried that he might. It is SO hard to realize that someone has to go through this ordeal and be POWERLESS to help find a way to be rid of this disease. All one can do is offer strength AND support AND hope that he will be able to find a way to heal himself. He HAS to find a way to HONOR his life because it will bring him closer to the connection of his purpose. For if he does NOT, he will SLIP AWAY…The natural tendency is to push it away and move past it as quickly as possible; and brush it under the rug. I hope that his opening up about his status means that he realizes that the more he resist this, the LONGER it will persist.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


They say that this world is dangerous because of those that do harm, but I am of the opinion that the world is dangerous because of those who look @ it and turn their heads the other way. It is as if we do not get that in order for us to BUILD the world we NEED to spread light to make it a better place. In my country, there have been a few murders with the last six months; three of which were GAY men. Now the thing for me is that I do not like the thought of anyone being killed but when it happens to persons that from my sector the community I think this warrants my concern. THE ALARM HAS BEEN RUNG THREE TIMES & SCHOOL IS IN SESSION...AS A COMMUNITY DO WE TAKE HEED OR IGNORE THE BLOOD OF THESE GAY MEN THAT STAINS THE FABRIC OF SOCIETY? I SAY A RESOUNDING NO! We are TOO caught up in the hype of cynicism of events to even keep a F&CK about another GAY MAN dying; AND AS A GAY MAN I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT! WHEN ARE WE GOING TO TAME THIS WILD FIRE & TAKE A STRONG HOLD WITHIN SOCIETY? I can sit here and say YES they may OR may not be good OR bad men; but who am I decide? I for one believe that there is NO such thing as a good person OR a bad person. However I do believe that the choices AND actions that we make AND perform lead us in certain directions. Nonetheless, I feel that it is OUR duty to up hold humanity AND NOT hold persons against themselves. Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good AND bad were used as weapons to control us. One was good if he did what he was told AND bad if you did not. I feel that this kind of discipline undermines a person’s ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self. Since we were raised this way, how can we NOT see that one may find himself feeling shockwaves of badness when they do something wrong even if they do not agree that it is bad. How do we NOT see what a STRAITJACKET life has placed upon us? I feel that an IMPORTANT part of OUR spiritual unfolding requires that WE grow beyond what we learned AND take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms. HENCE, WE AS HUMANS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE JUDGE & JURY FOR ANOTHER THAT WE HAVE NO POWER OVER! THE WILD FIRE THAT BURNS IN US NEEDS TO DRENCHED & EXTINGUISH…WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS WITH EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE, LEARNING & EXPLORING. TO MERELY SAY THAT SOMEONE DESERVED SOMETHING BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY DID IS WRONG & IT JUST PROVES WHY IT TOOK PLACE @ ALL. I AM SURE THAT THERE WERE PERSONS THAT I SAW THAT THESE MEN WERE GOING IN A DIRECTION OF STAGNATION & DEGRADATION & DID NOTHING TO INTERVENE…NOT EVEN A PRAYER! I GUESS IN THE END, ONLY GOD KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE. HE KNEW WHAT WAS BEFORE IT WAS & EVERYTHING THAT TAKES PLACE IS ALL APART OF HIS GRAND DESIGN ONLY TIME WILL TELL…BUT I BELIEVE THAT LIFE IS SET UP IN WAY THAT IT TEACHES US CERTAIN LESSONS & WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS TAKE PLACE, IT IS NOT ONLY THIS PERSON THAT LOOSES IT US AS WELL…FOR AS THE SONG GOES ALL OF US ARE ONE…

Monday, May 26, 2008


So the other night my friends had a surprise party for me and it was wonderful. I got to sit and reflect on the last 10 years of my life AND came to some startling realizations about life and the people in it. Now NOTHING was more amazing to me than coming to my INCONVIENIENT TRUTH about GAY MEN when a friend of mine came to me and asked me about another guy @ the party. Immediately something went off in my mind, shame came over me because here was the living proof that the GAY MAN thinks about getting his rocks off. Depending on one’s perspective, a single GAY MALE who actually sees this chase through to the bedroom OR anywhere they can get 5 minutes alone with each other is considered to be the NORM with the GAY community. Now I get it that he is SINGE and is FREE to MINGLE, but that does NOT mean he should feel like he is king of the world or something AU CONTRAIRE! 

The flattering element that comes from MAKING THE KILL is what is destroying OUR community in my opinion. Moreover, the STRANGE thing about this situation is that I will be the one that is looked @ as an anomaly AND anti-gay. MY QUESTION TO ALL GAY MEN IS WHY ARE WE SO HARD UP FOR THAT PIECE OF ASS/D!CK THAT WE FORGET OUR TRUE PURPOSE? Moreover, the SAD thing is that everyone is pointing the finger @ everyone else which only results in everyone being a part of the problem and NOT the solution. This proves that we are NOT truthful with each other, for it is MY belief that most if NOT all of us want this life, but we do not know how to get off the ride. OUR priorities are mixed up AND there is NO relief in sight. OUR integrity AND authenticity do NOT exist and it seems as if we are NOT concerned either. Nonetheless, I cannot say that I blame them because when you have a LOW self-esteem OR it is in the pants of some random man it does NOT matter anyways. 


Sunday, May 25, 2008


I believe that human beings exercise free will, but that our destiny is mapped out already. Is this a contradiction you may ask yourself? However, for as long as I can remember, I have discussed this topic and pondered if we have FREE WILL or are our lives PREDESTINED. I have tried to understand why humans make the choices they make because I am of the opinion that we do NOT have FREE WILL in a practical sense. Hence, what we have is REALLY a choice, which may OR may not be a free one at any given time. Let me explain.

A newborn baby comes into this world devoid of what society perceive as right OR wrong. He or she sees a lighted candle, and innocently via curiosity, reaches out to touch this candle or flame. Then he or she gets burned. This experience is now filed away in the mind for future reference un-consciously. So the next time that child sees a lighted candle, he or she is less inclined to touch the flame, less he or she be burned once again! This to my mind is FREE CHOICE, based on some prior or learned experience.

Now FREE WILL is another factor that humans claim to have, but I feel that it is simply the influences that the brain absorbs mentally. Hence, these thoughts provide us with data when the need arises to act in any given situation. Therefore, if one considers a shackled slave that is trying to free himself, one would stand to reason that this slave could not escape without the assistance of another. This slave cannot WILL his freedom and his desire to be free comes from the actual realization that he has to move himself from captivity physically. This to my mind is FREE WILL! 

We humans are NOT completely masters of our fates, nor are we puppets. I feel that GOD gave us limited power AND great freedom and this autonomy makes us accountable for OUR deeds. We cannot know our future and, to a large extent, we cannot control it. Nevertheless, we can make decisions within the limits of what we can control, based on our understanding of the way the world works. I feel that GOD has determined when things would come into existence AND much like the matrix, that says that the CHOICE HAS BEEN MADE ALREADY, WE ARE ONLY HERE TO UNDERSTAND WHY. 

Saturday, May 24, 2008


When I celebrate an EARTH~DAY with someone, I like to reflect on the person and somehow give him OR her more of an insight than anything else. Though this is for THE man in my life, and this is no different. I sat and pondered what I wanted say to him and I kept coming back to how I am so GRATEFUL that I am given this privilege AND honor to celebrate this day with you. Therefore, as you get a year older I want you to surround yourself with the protective light of the universe for it will never lead you astray. I cannot help thank GOD for sending you into my life for you are THE angel that I prayed SO many nights for. You made me feel that waiting for one’s just reward is worth it AND I will forever be eternally GRATEFUL to you for that. They say that it takes us the better part of a lifetime to discover our life’s work, but I don’t think they had you in mind when this concept was born because you were ACTUALIZE long before you were REALIZED. For you are on this earth, in your physical body, but your soul is NOT limit. From this day forth I want you to tap into yourself, find the STRENGTH that exists beneath the surface AND be a force to reckon with. Believe in who you are AND what you stand for…let NO one ever cause you to doubt your worth. For you are a PURE spiritual being that time AND space cannot alter. So do not worry about anything because forever is NOW! You are in the right place AND time, so express confidence in yourself and the universe…NEVER RUNNING or HIDING from life. ON THIS DAY, TAKE THE FIRST STEP IN REALIZING THAT YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW YOU ARE. YOU ARE THE WARRIOR THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT…SO TAKE MY WORDS & KNOW THAT THEY ARE FROM MY HEART…HAPPY EARTH~DAY BABY…I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008


The youth of today are out of control AND their behavior is detrimental to us all. It is my belief that if we are to eliminate the plague that is destroying our world, we need to take a deep look within our society for the cure. It so sad to see that as we advance within the world, we have lost ourselves AND the ways of old seem to be a distant memory. I can remember the days when it was NOT ok to do certain things AND act in certain ways. Now it is almost impossible to find a young male OR female that live their lives in a RESPECTABLE manner. HOW IT THAT WE SEE THAT GROWING UP IS IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE & DO NOTHING ABOUT IT? I REALLY feel that those of us that were born from as far as the 1980’s must have caught the last of the goodness that this world had to offer. Now we have this travesty call LIFE! I REMEMBER WHEN it literally took a village to raise a child, now the neighborhood is NO more. All the yes SIRS AND MA’AMS NO longer exist AND it seems as if those that grew up my generation don’t have the time OR energy to help the youth of today nor do I feel that it is their responsibility. I feel that they have done their job AND now it is OUR time to impart KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING to those that come from us. However, it seems that somehow…someway we have lost the know how; hence the world is in chaos. We have lost that SHARED sense of sacred that keeps our world healthy AND good and we do not find someway to revive the elements that are needed to fix things life will get worse. We will have to be proactive AND attack this ENEMY in the same way that the medical community would handle an epidemic. WE need to take preventive measures while simultaneously treating the ailments of society if we hope to repair things. I read somewhere that within the scientific community there is a premise dubbed THE LAW OF PARSIMONY, which emphasizes that the simplest possible explanation or the shortest possible answer is the best one. In this light, I suggest we keep the solutions simple because has ran out AND it just might be too late to fix things. The concept that I have in mind to aid us in this plight is simple because it merely calls on each person in the community to regard each other in the same vain as they see their mothers. Now a few of you would raise your eyebrows AND think that I am crazy; but if one considers it, they would see that it makes a lot of sense. The quality of relationships that can come from this concept will NO doubt aid us in the fight against the things that are wrong with this world. HOW COULD IT NOT? The type of love AND respect a person has developed for their own mother forms the basis of the type of love AND respect that they can develop for you! If we think of the LOYALTY TO, THE HONOR FOR & THE TREATMENT given to one’s own mother how can it not work? If we could universally get the young people to live up to and honor this concept, I think we would make a major step in the rehabilitation of our communities. Younger people tend to look up to older people for guidance even when it seems as if they do not need OR want it. IN TIMES LIKE THESE WHEN THE WORLD SEEMS AS IF IT IS GETTING WORSE BY THE MINUTE & THINGS ARE OUT OF CONTROL I SIT & PONDER LIFE. IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I CANNOT HELP BUT TO ASK HOW DID THINGS GET LIKE THIS? HOW DID THE COMMUNITY LOOSE ITS WAY? HENCE, HOW CAN I NOT ASK WHAT HAPPEN TO THE PASTORS THAT LIVED IN THE COMMUNITY WITH THE PEOPLE THAT HE PREACHES TO ON A WEEKLY BASES? WHAT HAPPEN TO THE TIME WHEN COMMITTING A CRIME WAS BAD? WHAT HAPPEN TO THE DAYS WHEN WE DID NOT ENGAGE IN CERTAIN BEHAVIOR BECAUSE WE DID NOT WANT TO BRING SHAME TO OUR FAMILIES? WHAT HAS HAPPEN TO OUR PRIDE? WHAT HAS HAPPEN TO THE BLOOD OF OUR ANCESTORS THAT FLOWS THROUGH OUR VEINS, THE STRONGEST OF THE STRONGEST THAT BROUGHT US TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY? NO LONGER SHOULD WE HIDE IN OUR HOMES & PRETEND AS IF WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. NO LONGER SHOULD LIVE AS IF WE HAVE NO POWER TO MAKE CHANGE. WE MUST STAND TODAY! WE MUST PROTECT OUR COUNTRIES…OUR LIVES…OUR FUTURE. FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH I AM GLAD THAT I GOT A CHANCE TO LIVE IN THE ERA THAT PRECEDED THIS ONE. I FEEL SAD FOR THE YOUNGER GENERATIONS FOLLOWING US THAT WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT LIFE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT. THE HUMAN ELEMENTS OF MAN INTERACTING WITH THE WORLD IS GONE & IT IS TIME THAT WE GOT IT BACK…DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN?

Thursday, May 22, 2008


































Wednesday, May 21, 2008



  1. Angel Kiss - This is a sweet, comforting kiss. Gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eye lid or right next to the eyes.

  2. Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

  3. Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

  4. Freeze Kiss - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.

  5. Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.

  6. Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and lick the earlobe. Avoid louder licking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.

  7. French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues.

  8. Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

  9. Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently licking the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

  10. Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

  11. Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

  12. Hot/Cold Kiss - Get a cold drink and put some in your mouth. Have your partner gets a hot drink and puts some in their mouth. You then French kiss leaving a sensational feeling.

  13. Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as.

  14. Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

  15. Neck Kiss - Come up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly lick the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times.

  16. Neck Nibble - Kiss Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

  17. Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

  18. Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace him/her, and kiss the top of their shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

  19. Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

  20. Stomach Kiss - Gently kiss and nibble on your partners stomach, and sometimes it leads to other things.

  21. Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say, "we weren't kissing. I was whispering into his mouth."

  22. Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

  23. Tongue Kiss - While french kissing your partner, gently licking their tongue while it's in your mouth. This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!

  24. Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

  25. Upside Down Kiss - You stand behind your partner (who is seated or laying down) and have them tilt their head back. Then kiss them so that you nibble their lower lip and they nibble yours. This is fun and feels good because you can feel them breathing on your neck as you kiss.

  26. Underwater Kiss - Find your partner under water. Embrace and kiss. It's a unique and wonderful feeling. By the time you run out of air, you'll be back at the top. Continuing the kiss is optional.

  27. Underwater Deep End Kiss - Dive to the bottom of the deep end of a pool. Find your partner under water and begin kissing. Continue as you rise to the top.

  28. Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.

  29. Virtual Kiss For Internet lovers - Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-* .

  30. The Wave Kiss - While kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue like a wave, up and down. It can be a little sloppy, but it's a unique feeling and always gets a little laugh when it's done.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


May is Masturbation Month and in honour of this event I have decided to focus on the Masturbation DOS & DONTS for men. Masturbation is considered by many to be the cornerstone of sexual health. Most men believe that they already know everything about their own genitals and sexual response. It’s all out there, boys will be boys, etc. But just because you know how your tools work, doesn’t mean you can build the Eiffel Tower. In fact most men experience a fraction of their full erotic and orgasmic potential. Read on for tips on masturbation techniques that can help you explore all your body has to offer. Here's How:

  1. Make time for more than a quickie. Most guys first learn to masturbate in secret and furtive ways. They do it quickly and need to figure out what to do with the evidence afterward. This can create a powerful pattern of masturbating quickly, without paying attention to where your sexual arousal can take you. To start exploring something different, make sure you have some extended time and privacy for yourself, where you aren’t trying to finish quick before someone interrupts.

  2. Turn off the porn (just for a while) and tune into your body. Not everyone likes porn, but a lot of guys do, and while porn can be great, it also takes you out of your body a bit with the fantasy. This can distract you from what’s actually happening in your body. You don’t need to throw the porn away, but for a few times, masturbate without porn, and objectify yourself for a change!

  3. Do a…dry…run through. Bad pun aside, it’s a good idea to take this suggestion and masturbate as you normally would. As you do this pay attention to changes in your breathing. Does it become shallow and quick, slower and deeper? Changes in your body. Is there tension in some places, and relaxation in others? Is this the same every time you masturbate? How does it feel just before you have an orgasm? How does it feel as you orgasm, and immediately post-orgasm?

  4. Time to switch it up. Men learn early in their lives the most effective way to get themselves off. And most never waver from the utilitarian approach to self love. But sex is less like a well oiled machine, and more like a chaotic food fair, where there is an endless selection of ways to satisfy your appetites. So it’s time to throw a wrench in the works and shake up your routine.

  5. Try any combination of the following suggestions: Does your left hand know what your right hand is doing? Do you always use the same one hand to masturbate? Most guys do. If you’re among them, start with the simple tip of switching hands. It can feel strange at first, the rhythm might be off, it’s almost like sex with someone new for the first time. Enjoy the newness, and see if a new hand can teach an old hand some tricks.

  6. Experiment with positions. If you aren’t an experimental type, it’s time to start. If you’re used to masturbating lying down on your back, try sitting up. If you normally sit in a chair, try standing, or kneeling. As with all these changes, this might feel ridiculous at first, and you’ll probably go back to old faithful, but see what masturbation feels like in different positions, and notice if it brings with it any new sensations.

  7. Get your hips moving. The way your body moves when you masturbate is probably very different from the way it moves when you’re having sex with someone else. Many men don’t move at all when they masturbate. Try to move your hips when you masturbate, simulating the thrusting of intercourse. Notice how moving your hips in different ways can bring you closer to, and at times take you farther away from, the point of orgasm.

  8. Use different hand strokes. Most men learn early on that a vigorous stroke does the trick. This intense up and down stimulation usually ends in a good orgasm. But there are dozens of other strokes that each bring with them different sensations, and different orgasms. Roll your penis in between your hands, moving your hands up and down your shaft. Try using long twisting strokes instead of just up and down. Experiment with different movements, pressures, and speeds.

  9. Explore your shaft. While most of the nerve endings on the penis are at the head, and specifically the frenulum, many men will have spots on their shaft that are unusually sensitive. Try putting one hand at the base of your penis and press it towards your body while experimenting with different hand strokes along the shaft of your penis. Treat this like a treasure hunt, and try to feel the difference between one side and the other, between stimulation near the base and up near the tip.

  10. Reach around, yourself. For many men the balls (testicles) are a very sensitive area that responds well to feelings of touch and pressure. Take your forefinger and thumb and make them in a circle at the top of your scrotum. Gently tug on your scrotum as your masturbating. This is both a way to prevent you from ejaculating and a way to extend sexual feelings in your body. Experiment with other kinds of touch including tickling, scratching, and rubbing.

  11. Check out the neighborhood. While the penis and scrotum tend to be the epicenter of masturbatory attention, if you’re looking to open things up a bit, be sure to take a tour of some other nearby areas. The perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, is very sensitive to pressure and massage, and rubbing it provides external prostate stimulation. Speaking of which, don’t be afraid to explore the anus, both externally and by using a finger for penetration.

  12. Bring it all together. Not everything you try is going to do it for you, but the idea behind the above tips is to try lots of different things, and then incorporate whatever you like into the ways you regularly masturbate. Maybe it’s a different stroke, or position, or breathing technique. Obviously there is no one, correct way to masturbate, and even if you’ve got something that works for you, consider the fact that there could be more out there if you experiment with it.

TIPS: Another myth about male masturbation is that you shouldn’t use anything other than you hand. While your hand might be doing the trick, adding some accessories can make the stimulation even more intense, and inspire more creativity with yourself, and with partners. Get a good quality personal lubricant . If it’s only for masturbation you can use something that’s oil based without worrying about condom compatibility. Oil based products are better because they won’t dry up. Add a sex toy into the mix. It might be a vibrator, a dildo, or a cock ring (if you’ve never tried one I recommend trying one on your own before you use it with a partner). Sex toys can add a completely new kind of stimulation, and accentuate the manual stimulation your doing.

Monday, May 19, 2008


One of the hot button terms in the debate over gay rights is the so-called GAY AGENDA. But what exactly is meant by this? Is the GAY AGENDA merely to petition for equal rights OR is it about something far more sinister? Hence I beg to question society about WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE GAY AGENDA? Many if NOT all of us have an opinion on this subject; I stayed away from it AND didn’t want to touch on it because I felt that it was a NON-ISSUE. When I say NON-ISSUE I don’t mean that it does not matter, I am referring to the notion that I believe that GAY RIGHTS is something that NO one can stop OR destroy. I felt as that as time went on things will inevitably change…IT HAS TO! Hence this week we saw America, home of the free AND brave grant GAY persons in California the right to marry if they so please. This is funny since they live in the most progressive place on this planet yet they are held back because of society’s so-called TRADITIONAL VALUES. But can anyone tell me WHOSE TRADITIONS ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? One only has to open their eyes and see that the world is a MELTING POT of nationalities AND customs that does NOT belong to just one group. Yet the one thing that holds each of us in the fact that we are HUMAN; and as HUMANS we all have the need to feel ALIVE IN LOVE! Society needs to understand that GAY people and the GAY AGENDA will not go away because the so-call FABRIC of society is full of holes. However, this FABRIC will never med as long they keep picking @ the tattered edges around the holes. Hence the GAY AGENDA sole purpose is for us to have ACCEPTANCE and RESPECT; this is the only way WE can make whole this cloth. THIS IS WHAT BECOMES OF HUMANITY WHEN THE BATTLE LINES ARE DRAWN! SO NOW WHAT? For far too long NO one has been minding the baby and now that he is grown, the things that were done to him in his infancy stage will happen NO more. In the early years most of us cannot comprehend the WHAT or WHY of life; all we know is this what it is AND there is NOTHING he can do to change things. NOW THE TIME HAS COME & THE WORLD IS SCARED! THE ISSUE OF RIGHTS WILL NO LONGER DIVIDE US; WE SIMPLY HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE. WE GOING TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT & MATCH UP MAN TO MAN, EYEBALL TO EYEBAL…WE WILL NO LONGER LIVE IN THE SHADOWS, WE WILL FEEL THE WARMTH OF THE SUN! OUR LIVES IS NOT AS SIMPLE AS DRIVING ON THE LEFT OR RIGHT SIDE OF THE STREET; IT IS SO MUCH MORE PERSONAL THAN THAT! OUR LIVES HAS NO BASIS IN MORALITY OR RELIGION SO WHY FORCE US TO LIVE THAT WAY? I THOUGHT THAT LIFE HAD MIDDLE GROUNDS & COMPROMISES THAT WORKED FOR ALL US…YET THEY ASSUME THAT WE WILL WANT TO LIVE A LIFE THAT IS NO LIFE @ ALL…I AM OF THE OPINION THAT WHEN YOU PUSH SOMEONE THEY EVENTUALLY PUSH BACK…IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE EQUALITY IS SHARED BY ALL ON THIS PLANET!

Sunday, May 18, 2008


I have a question that has been nagging @ me for quite some time. This question is one that I feel can make one @ times feel a bit overwhelm by its presence, yet most of us do nothing about it. And it seems as if each day presented greater challenges than the day before. So here’s my question: CAN ANYONE TELL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BELIEVING IN GOD & HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM?

Now for me I definitely believe there is a God; however given my sexuality others would say that I cannot have a relationship with him. There was a time in my life when I actually gave life to that theory because I felt that they were right. Moreover, they were Christians so they must have a better relationship with God and have ALL the answers as far as he is concerned…RIGHT? 

I often find that what conventional wisdom do not always mean a thing OR applies to everyone. Therefore, I beg to question how can I be on this planet and NOT have some sort of relationship with the creator? Isn't this notion just crazy AND empty? It is SO sad that we live in a world that expects EVERYONE to WALK THE TALK and serve God in ways they deem fit. I get that, but I am sorry because I decline to bow down to their rules AND regulations.

I remember when I was @ a breaking point; I questioned and cried so many times that I am sure that God must have heard me. I felt broken AND angry that God had placed so much on my plate by allowing my sexuality to be and I could not understand how OR why he would do that and NOT have a relationship with me. Only as time went on and life became a bit clearer I understood that he was not like what the world makes him out to be. HOW CAN HE BE? It does not fit NOR does it make sense for a supreme being to create us in this world and say hey you are ONLY human but I expect you to live up to this image @ all times. I find it so difficult to accept that the persons that say OR believe that they are alright with God act so inhumane that it will make a person sit AND wonder. But no matter I am sure that they believe that they have a relationship with our maker nonetheless.

Saturday, May 17, 2008


  1. Recognize the beauty that exists within my friends.
  2. See beyond the external and see the internal of the beings before me.
  3. Know they are not ready for change.
  4. Accept that they might not be beyond who they have been.
  5. Understand that they are NOT like me.
  6. Touch the hurt that exist in them.
  7. Listen even when they are NOT speaking.
  8. Take a leap of faith and let myself go.
  9. Live every moment because they are real.
  10. Watch them either swim against the tide or go with the flow.
  11. Look @ them go back to come forward.
  12. Hold a mirror to their faces and show that they are indeed ALIVE!
  13. Show them they are in search for something.
  14. Prove they are thirsty AND hungry for LOVE.
  15. That I live in sacred place that lets my spirit live freely.
  16. Show that they are stronger than they know.
  17. Be the evidence for the living truth.
  18. Compel them to find peace and joy in their lives.
  19. Encourage them to live faithfully.
  20. Tell them that the truth of their being is a divine expression of GOD!
  21. Protect & honor them in my thoughts and prayer.

Friday, May 16, 2008


Wind flipping as I breathe

Foreplay of mind, body n’ soul

Taking me places I want to go

As I am stillness in motion

Wondering where is where

And where is no where

Yet I am here

Doing my satanic ritual

Without the poisonous element

Of whose name I dare not speak

My soul begs for the fleshy insides

Drunken heart beats tangles me

Into a world of ecstasy

…breathe in breathe out

Listen carefully and all about

Sex is outside of me

Urging me not to ignore its call

Forcing me to find the secret of secrets

That tells NO lies

Cause sometimes the truth hides

For many are born and die

Caught up in what we despise

But I can’t help myself

I am trapped and I LOVE IT!

I want and need it

There is no running for me

There is NO tension between time and eternity

For I collide with the future past and present

That makes me transcendent

As I step over the boundaries

Of this n’ that

Making me the exception to the rules

As I go beyond myself

Beyond the beyond

Bonding the images of the universe

That fly me oh so high

While I indulge you FLESH TO FLESH


Thursday, May 15, 2008


Life offers opportunities to clear these weeds in the gardens of our souls and today I got that opportunity in the form of a past a relationship from my past. When I saw him, I remembered so many things about him and what he wanted to do. I remembered how I did not want to be with him yet I stayed because I thought that this is what humans do. With him, I felt that I was not good enough NOR did I want to be; I just wanted to end things but I did not have the strength to do it. Therefore, when he left for America to pursue his dreams I was happy for me but more so for him…Yet when my eyes gazed upon the GHOST that I have not seen in about 7 years, I saw a different man. The light in his eyes were gone and it was if he was existing and NOT living. I felt how sad. When he saw me, he was shocked and ashamed @ the same time but I guess that is how these things happen. I thought about all the things I heard about him after he ended things. I thought about the F&CKED shit he did on his voyage. I thought about the UNhappiness that was eating him when he hung his head after seeing me…it was almost as if he was saying I am lost and don’t know where OR what I am doing. HOW DID HE FORGET THAT HE BELIEVED THAT WE ARE ALL SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE? I know that life has its way of making AND breaking us, but it is up to us to decide when each will take place. I WISH THAT HE FINDS HIS WAY…I WISH THAT HE CAN LIVE AGAING…BUT MOST OF ALL I WISH THAT HE COULD FIND HIS TRUTH…HOW IS IT THAT HE NO LONGER SURRENDERS TO HIS BEING? HOW DID LIFE FIND HIM @ THIS PLACE? CAN ANYONE TELL ME THIS ANSWER…MOREOVER CAN HE?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


  1. Reheat Pizza - Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat until warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

  2. Easy Deviled Eggs - Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash until they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, and keep mashing it up mixing Thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

  3. Expanding Frosting - When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

  4. Reheating refrigerated bread - To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

  5. Newspaper weeds away - Start putting in your plants; work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers then put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

  6. Broken Glass - Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces of glass the fibers catch ones you cannot see!

  7. No More Mosquitoes - Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

  8. Reducing Static Cling - Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and - voila - static is gone.

  9. Measuring Cups - Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but do not dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

  10. Foggy Windshield – Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

  11. Reopening envelope - If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily.

  12. Conditioner - Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It is a lot cheaper than having cream and leaves your legs smooth. It is also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but did not like when you tried it in your hair...

  13. Good-bye Fruit Flies - To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" With Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix Well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

  14. Get Rid of Ants - Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," and cannot digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, esp. if it rains, but it works and you do not have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

  15. Take baby powder to the beach - Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When you are ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Sure, we know many of the golden rules about ensuring a great sexual encounter. There’s “always be prepared (i.e. have condoms)” and “communication is key” but what about those “special” rules that distinguish the “Average Joe” from the stellar lover? Here’s a list that’ll leave your partner calling you the Superman Lover for sure…


  • Whoever said that, “It is better to give than receive,” was on to something. The more pleasure you give your partner, the more you’re likely to receive.
  • Excellent hygiene is a must in any bedroom encounter. A fresh shower and well cared for hands and nails are an essential element for any night of passion.
  • Pay attention to the cues and responses from your partner. Being able to respond to what your partner is needing at just the right moment could mean the difference between a grand slam and a strike out.
  • If your partner is doing something right, tell them. After all, no one is a mind reader and who knows what is pleasing to you better than yours truly?


  • Failing to be a team player in the bedroom is an absolute no-no. If you’re all about being pleased without reciprocating pleasure to your partner, chances are slim to none that you’ll see those bed sheets again.
  • Brushing your teeth and trimming your nails seem like a natural thing to do before a date. If a sexual activity is on the menu, however, forgo both of these in order to minimize your risk for contracting an unwanted STD such as HIV/AIDS.
  • “Cookie cutter” lovers are the worst! No two people are the same; therefore add variety to your sexual repertoire. What drove your last partner to climb the bedroom walls may only be met with lukewarm response by your new partner. Remember: creativity and attentiveness are an absolute must!
  • Assuming whether or not your partner wants you to stay or go after your bedroom romp could be a touchy subject after the main event. To avoid a potentially embarrassing situation, have the conversation before you slide in between the sheets.
  • Just some thoughts and ideas of a single black gay man trying to figure out where he is and where everyone else is going.

Monday, May 12, 2008


HIV Positive

by Marvin, RN

HIV Positive

I can’t be so negative

It won’t bring me down fast

I want my HIV status to last

Take better care of me

Make it my #1 goal

Why dig myself into a hole?

My life is on a roll

Going too fast will take a toll

Sit down and really thing about my HIV status

Hit me like a bolt of lightning,


Give me a reason to enjoy life

I can’t sit there and do nothing

I want to do something

My life isn’t done, not by a long shot

HIV status put me on the spot

Stay active and do the best I can

I won’t give up for being HIV positive

Often, when we are unhappy, we fall into the habit of thinking that, if only one or two particular things in our life would change, everything would be fine. We might focus on the fact that they need this OR that in order to CHANGE OUR existence on this planet. Now imagine if you HIV on top of all the things WE have to deal with in OUR lives; wouldn’t anyone be NEGATIVE on their out look on life AND where they feel it is going? Would you dwell AND strategize on how you would deal with this killer OR would you lay down and die? Having met persons that are in fact HIV +, I have come to realize that the real reason for our unhappiness sits unrecognized AND unaddressed because there is NOT much here in the way of counseling OR assistance for the mental needs of persons that are fighting this disease. I could say maybe they need to do this OR that, but in actuality this disease is more complex than that. I SAY THE FIRST STEP IN ENDING THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS IS TO TAKE A MOMENT & STOP FOCUSING ON THE EXTERNAL IN ORDER TO GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. I understand that the LAST thing anyone that has HIV wants to hear OR think about is that there is a DEEP learning of self that can emerge because of the disease. In the midst of pain, feeling picked on by life, or overwhelmed by the enormity of this disease it is HARD to examine the situation and NOT be negative. HIV brings too much disappointment AND anger for one to look for anything resembling a bright side to its suffering. Though I feel that somewhere in their hearts, they know that they will eventually surface from the depths into the light of greater awareness; it is merely a matter of time…& as much as it hurts me to write this, I have to say that THE ONLY WAY TO GET PASS THIS DISEASE IS TO REALIZE THAT THE ONLY OUT OF IT IS THROUGH IT! THEN & ONLY THEN THEY CAN COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT YOU ARE LIVING WITH HIV & NOT DYING FROM IT! Dealing with HIV is one of the ULTIMATE test of mankind AND having the COURAGE to BELIEVE that YOU can bear the PAIN and have FAITH that YOU will come out the other side is all that I am asking for. For it is MY belief that it is only through COURAGE that one can allow themselves to cycle through the grieving process with a full inner permission to experience it. The powerful teaching of being POSITIVE offers the ability to surrender AND realize that it goes HAND-IN-HAND with acceptance. While the individual experiences of HIV carry with them unique lessons, the implication of what is learned is universal. The wisdom one gains from going through the process of feeling LOSS, HEARTBREAK or DEEP disappointment because of HIV gives one access to the heart of humanity. The point is, slowing down and turning our attention to what we should be doing with ourselves in the first place which is LIVING! LIFE SHOWS UP DIFFERENTLY FOR EACH ONE OF US AS WE LEARN IN DIFFERENT WAYS, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE SHOULD GO @ IT ALONE. HENCE I EMPLORE ALL US BOTH HIV +/- TO NOT JUST TRY OUR HARDEST BUT DO OUR BEST TO FIND OUR INNER LIGHT SO THAT WE CAN SHINE @ OUR FULLEST. THOUGH WE ARE MERELY PHYSICAL, MENTAL & SPIRITUAL BEINGS, WE NEED TO ENSURE THAT OUR LIGHT IS NOT BEING BLOCKED OR FILTERED. AS GAY MEN I FIND THAT WE THE POWER @ THE CENTER OF OUR BEING BECAUSE WE EITHER FORGET HOW TO CONNECT OR SIPHON OUR POWER IN TOO MANY DIRECTIONS. THOSE OF US THAT ARE HIV + SHOULD TAKE THIS DISEASE AS THE PLATFORM THAT MAKES THEM WHOLE AGAIN…IT IS THE ONLY WAY WE CAN BEAT THIS DISEASE & MAKE THE MOST OUT OF LIFE!

Sunday, May 11, 2008



Saturday, May 10, 2008


For as long as I can remember, I have been asking my friends to have a surprise party for me. Now I know there are persons out there that would say if they did it wouldn’t be much of a surprise; I guess for me it was just the thought of it that made me ask for year after year. Now flash forward to the present I knew my EARTH~DAY was on the horizon and like clock work I mentioned…OKAY I talked about having a surprise party every chance I got. So when my EARTH~DAY arrived I didn’t really expect a party, but I @ least expected my friends to @ least hang out with me…BUT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN! From being told they were too tired OR didn’t have enough time to think of anything that they could do to mark this momentous occasion I was left on my own. Naturally I felt let down AND disappointed because I felt that my friends were behaving in a way that was selfish AND uncaring. So I decided to keep my distance AND not bother anyone I guess it was my way of processing my disappointment without sinking into despondency. As with any emotional response, I honor my feelings by feeling them fully, without acting on them…most of the time…They say that with age comes wisdom but today proved how wrong that quotation is when it comes to me. One would think that I should know better and that my friends wouldn’t forget me on this special day, but what can I say? I was so disenchanted by my friends that I couldn’t enjoy THE surprise party that they had for me because I was surprised @ myself for not seeing this coming. And I guess this is way they say that life is a circular journey through our issues and processes, because somehow this event was technically new yet it seemed very familiar. But after all is said and done, they achieved their goal of making me feel left out AND forgotten. ALL-IN-ALL it was a GREAT party and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. I CAN TRULY SAY THAT I HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE & THAT I HAVE ARRIVED IN A FAMILIAR PLACE THAT SHOWS THAT I HAVE GROWN & MY LIFE ISN’T LOST ON MY FRIENDS. WITH THIS LIFE CHANGING EVENT I HAVE STEPPED INTO A CLEARING THAT SHOWS WHERE I CAME FROM & WHERE I STAND @ THE SAME TIME. SO I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE THAT TOOK THE TIME & ENERGY TO DO THIS FOR ME, IT IS A GREAT WAY TO START ANOTHER DECADE OF MY LIFE…


If you're among the many men who try to keep an eye on their weight but still have a sweet tooth, I have some good news: You can now have your cake and eat it too -- as long as it's low fat. I've listed the worst desserts you can eat if you're trying to lose your gut, and recommended some healthier alternatives that will hopefully satisfy your sweet craving. I have to admit that no dessert is really "healthy," but if you must have it, my suggestions will be more sympathetic to your waistline. the seven deadly sins Loaded with fat, calories and cholesterol, these sweet indulgences are sure to put an end to any weight-loss goal. I've provided the frightening fat and calorie breakdowns for a single serving size ofeach tasty -- but deadly -- dessert listed below.

  1. Oreo Cookies # Serving size: About 3 cookies # Fat: 7 grams # Calories: 160 (about 50 calories per Oreo) Oreos don't seem too bad per serving, but can you really eat just three? Oreo cookies -- the tasty sandwich cookies that are so fun to dunk--are high on our list of worst desserts. They contain roughly 60% fat and are extremely high in Trans fat, which has been linked to heart problems and diabetes. Oreo, the best-selling cookie in the world, has been under the microscope recently, as scientists study the effects of sugary andfatty snacks on the brain. Reportedly, Oreos top the list of cookies that people crave most. Furthermore, there is ongoing neurological research that shows that Oreos may be addictive. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: Snack Wells Vanilla Crème Sandwich cookies. We know that it's hard to compare any cookie with the world-famous Oreo, but Snack Wells' sandwich cookies do not taste low fat, and they will give you the same crème-filled satisfaction as Oreos at a fraction of the calories and fat. For a serving of two to three cookies, there are only 3 grams of fat and 110 calories.

  2. Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby Ice Cream # Serving size: ½ cup # Fat: 20 grams # Calories: 330. Don't be fooled by the tie-dyed packaging and colorful "peace andlove" mantra that Ben & Jerry's exude. Although these Vermont-grown organic hippies are socially responsible business partners (they crusade for a clean environment and world peace), they are definitely not doing you any favors when it comes to watching your weight. We've used a popular example, "Chubby Hubby," which is vanilla and fudge ice cream loaded with fudge-covered peanut butter pretzels. Ben & Jerry's may use the finest ingredients, but they also deliver the most fat and calories. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: Dryer's Vanilla Chocolate Swirl Frozen Yogurt. The funky flavors of Ben & Jerry's are hard to imitate, but if you are craving ice cream, this healthy alternative is a good substitute. It is a frozen yogurt, but it has the same consistency as regular ice cream and tastes almost as sweet. With 0 grams of fat and 90 calories per ½ cup, it might be wise to consider sacrificing the fudge-covered peanut butter pretzels.

  3. Otis Spunk Meyer Iced Chocolate Brownies # Serving size: 1 brownie # Fat: 11.5 grams # Calories: 260 Otis Spunk Meyer brownies may look harmless, but these iced, gooey treats will haunt your waistline long after you've eaten them. There are more than 20 ingredients in these little chocolate snacks, including hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup and many other unhealthy culprits. For the benefit of your health, it might be worth investing in the eggs and store-bought brownie mix needed to bake your own. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: No Pudge! Brownie Mix. I know that it's not ideal to actually make your own dessert--especially when you want a quick fix -- but this non-fat brownie mix only requires the addition of water and a little stirring. The No Pudge! Brownie Mix brownies are remarkably moister and chocolatier than regular low-fat or non-fat brownies. They have 0 grams of fat and only 90 calories per 2-inch square brownie. I don't advise it, but you can practically eat the whole pan and still ingest fewer calories than with the Otis counterpart.

  4. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (Double Chocolate) # Serving size: 1 package # Fat: 11 grams # Calories: 210 Peanut butter is rearing its fattening head again, as it is now being touted as a high-protein food. Nutritionists claim that peanuts are high in energy, fiber, vitamin E, and other trace minerals that should be included in a healthy diet for weight maintenance and overall good health. Unfortunately, the nutritional benefits of peanut butter cannot be fulfilled by Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The incredibly high fat and calorie content make Reese's Peanut Butter Cups one of the worst candy bars to eat if you're trying to maintain or lose weight. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: 3 Musketeers Miniatures. Nothing can rival the creamy peanut butter and chocolate taste of a Reese's, but if a candy bar is what you crave, try 3 Musketeers Miniatures instead. One 3 Musketeers miniature snack bag contains 7 pieces, which should definitely satisfy your candy bar craving. And with only 5 grams of fat and 170 calories, it is also a good bet for your waistline.

  5. Sara Lee Classic New York Cheesecake # Serving size (1/6 of a regular size cheesecake) # Fat: 21 grams # Calories: 350 This is a dessert that actually has the audacity to combine two of the most fattening foods in its name -- "cheese" and "cake." The appeal of cheesecake is no secret to anyone. Who can resist the satisfying ingredients of cream cheese, whole milk, cream, and sugar? But, this dessert is not only extraordinarily high in fat and calories, it is also full of Trans fat, cholesterol and carbs. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: Jell-O Brand Cheesecake Cups. These individually wrapped pudding-like cups have the same creamy cheesecake flavor as the real thing, but with only 4.5 grams of fat and 150 calories.

  6. Little Debbie Nutty Bars # Serving size: 1 individually wrapped package# Fat: 19 grams # Calories: 312 Little Debbie has been an American household name since the early 1960s, providing Americans with relatively inexpensive cakes, cookies and breakfast items. The innocent-looking girl on the packaging might be a decoy for the fat, sugar and cholesterol lurking inside, because there is nothing sweet about the brand that has ranked No. 6 on my worst desserts list. Nutty Bars -- light, peanut butter-filled wafers covered with fudge -- are high in fat and calories, and extremely high in sodium. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: Fifty50 Sugar Free Chocolate Wafer Cookies. The Fifty50 sugar-free wafer brand is made for people who are following a low glycemic index diet, which also makes them a healthier choice for people who need to monitor their blood sugar levels. Fifty50 cookies aren't perfect with 9 grams of fat and 160 calories for six wafers, but they do have the same great crunch and light texture as the Nutty Bars.

  7. Banana Split # Serving size: 1 split # Fat: 43 grams # Calories: 894 while dining out, it is possible that you might encounter the classic banana split. It has bananas, which are healthy, but they might be the only healthy part of this monster. This deceitful dessert will pack on the pounds faster than any other dessert on our list (if for nothing else than the pure size of it). It is simply too easy to spoon away every last bite of the beast that has been placed before you. Nutritionally, the banana split contains a large portion of the daily caloric requirements and more than the daily allowance of fat that the average man should consume. HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE: Jell-O Sundae Toppers. These desserts are individually packaged, which makes it easy to know how large one portion is. And with only 1.5 grams of fat and 110 calories, you can rest easy that they will not break your diet regimen. If you miss the banana in the banana split, slice one up and have it with your Sundae Topper; it only tacks on about 100 calories (depending on the size), and it is high in potassium, vitamin B6 and fiber. Deadly desserts everyone knows that desserts do not usually make the list of foods to eat if you are trying to maintain a healthy weight. However, it is impossible to satisfy a sweet craving by substituting the low-fat options we've listed above. Like everything good in life, a healthy diet should be varied and all foods should be eaten in moderation. Have an Oreo if you want one! Just be sure to watch portion sizes and moderate the frequency of indulgence.