"MAY" SURPRISE!

For as long as I can remember, I have been asking my friends to have a surprise party for me. Now I know there are persons out there that would say if they did it wouldn’t be much of a surprise; I guess for me it was just the thought of it that made me ask for year after year. Now flash forward to the present I knew my EARTH~DAY was on the horizon and like clock work I mentioned…OKAY I talked about having a surprise party every chance I got. So when my EARTH~DAY arrived I didn’t really expect a party, but I @ least expected my friends to @ least hang out with me…BUT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN! From being told they were too tired OR didn’t have enough time to think of anything that they could do to mark this momentous occasion I was left on my own. Naturally I felt let down AND disappointed because I felt that my friends were behaving in a way that was selfish AND uncaring. So I decided to keep my distance AND not bother anyone I guess it was my way of processing my disappointment without sinking into despondency. As with any emotional response, I honor my feelings by feeling them fully, without acting on them…most of the time…They say that with age comes wisdom but today proved how wrong that quotation is when it comes to me. One would think that I should know better and that my friends wouldn’t forget me on this special day, but what can I say? I was so disenchanted by my friends that I couldn’t enjoy THE surprise party that they had for me because I was surprised @ myself for not seeing this coming. And I guess this is way they say that life is a circular journey through our issues and processes, because somehow this event was technically new yet it seemed very familiar. But after all is said and done, they achieved their goal of making me feel left out AND forgotten. ALL-IN-ALL it was a GREAT party and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. I CAN TRULY SAY THAT I HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE & THAT I HAVE ARRIVED IN A FAMILIAR PLACE THAT SHOWS THAT I HAVE GROWN & MY LIFE ISN’T LOST ON MY FRIENDS. WITH THIS LIFE CHANGING EVENT I HAVE STEPPED INTO A CLEARING THAT SHOWS WHERE I CAME FROM & WHERE I STAND @ THE SAME TIME. SO I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE THAT TOOK THE TIME & ENERGY TO DO THIS FOR ME, IT IS A GREAT WAY TO START ANOTHER DECADE OF MY LIFE…