I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, February 28, 2010


I believe in a higher power, ONE that manifests itself in and through all creation, but is not absorbed by its creation. The manifest universe is the higher power; it is the logical and necessary outcome of the infinite self-knowingness of itself.

I believe in the incarnation of the Spirit and that all PEOPLE are incarnations of the ONE spirit.

I believe in the eternality, the immortality, and the continuity of the individual soul, forever and ever expanding.

I believe that HEAVEN is within US, and that we experience IT to the degree that we become conscious of it.

I believe the ultimate goal of life to be a complete emancipation from all discord of every nature, and that this goal is sure to be attained by all.

I believe in the unity of all life, and that the highest power is personal to all who live it!

I believe in the direct revelation of Truth through our intuitive and spiritual nature, and that ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth who lives in close contact with the universe.

I believe that the Universal Spirit operates through a Universal Mind; and that we are surrounded by this Creative Mind which receives the direct impress of our thought and acts upon it.

I believe in the healing of the sick through the power of this Mind.

I believe in the control of conditions through the power of this Mind.

I believe in the eternal Goodness, the eternal Loving-kindness, and the eternal Givingness of Life to all.

I believe in our own soul, our own spirit, and our own destiny; for we understand that OUR LIFE is…

Saturday, February 27, 2010


"How Many Ways" is a song by American R&B singer Toni Braxton from her self-titled debut album, Toni Braxton (1993). The protagonist of the composition, co-written by Braxton herself, declares there are many ways in which she loves her man. "How Many Ways" was double-sided with the album's fifth and final single, "I Belong to You", in the United States.

The music video for "How Many Ways" featured Braxton and her male lead, model, actor and Soul Train series host Shemar Moore, riding in a car, frolicking in a playground, and on a veranda. A remix produced by R. Kelly also was released to radio and music television stations.

I dedicate this song to the one Noel, I hope that where ever he is, he is missing me as much as I am missing him!

Thursday, February 25, 2010


This has been a hard piece to write, and it may be a hard one to read. I’ve lamented over touching this subject for months decided that I will know this should be shown to world. Some may see what I write as wrong and/or judgmental, but one way or the other, I'm only writing what is SO plainly evident, despite the declarations to the contrary. I’ve seen AND heard more than enough of how racism in America is everyone else fault EXCEPT black folks. Most black persons in America have this FALSE righteousness and they allow it to hold them back! They make excuse after excuse as to why they can’t live a life that’s better than sub par (and few have a point), but I feel they need to let go the things that are taking them NOWHERE and find a way to bridge the racial gap that exists. 

I’m hoping that someone can find a way to usher in a new era of positive race consciousness by showing ALL on this planet that developing a healthy worldview is the ONLY way we can truly function as human beings. Developing a healthy worldview is a prerequisite to personal, spiritual and global development. Our worldview cannot start from AND stall @ the feet of our ancestors. There needs to be a reality check so as a people we can realize our place in time. This reality requires total understanding on the objective level as well as on the subjective level of our existence.
The work of consciously developing ourselves is about realizing the truth, and to realize truth people must be willing to investigate and share facts. The ongoing legacy of colonialism has brought destruction and ongoing distress to both the colonizer and the colonized. Every colonized people, every people in whose soul an inferiority complex has been created by the destruction of their memory, adopts the language and values of the colonizing nations. To quote Frantz Fanon, "The colonized is elevated above the jungle status in proportion to his adoption of the colonial country's cultural standards. The colonized people perceive themselves superior as they renounce their blackness. "They are used to convey their master's orders to their fellowmen, and for this they enjoy a superficial position of honor.

When I speak of black folks in America it is NOT that they are unworthy of live, it is just to stimulate latent memories, towards a resurgence of self-confidence, which is greatly lacking among them. A lot of black people dream of a form of salvation that consists of things read in fairytales, when they MUST strive to ensure that their children are not held hostage by that form of self-debasing mentality.


What is color prejudice? Well to quote Sir Alan Burns “It is nothing more than the unreasoning hatred, one for another, the contempt of the stronger and richer people for those whom they consider inferior to themselves and the bitter resentment of those who are kept in subjection and are so frequently insulted. As color is the most outward manifestation of race, it has been made the criterion by which people are judged irrespective of their social or educational attainments.”

I had a conversation with a fellow blogger a while back about skin color and socialization in the black gay community. I mentioned my and noel thinking about moving to the states and I was told that since both noel and I are light skinned, it would be frowned upon if we socialize with persons whose skin is darker in color. @ First I thought it was a joke, but soon realized that it wasn’t. He then tried to make me understand why a majority of black people take pleasure in their narrow-mindedness. For them there is only one way out and it leads into a world where those that have the same skin color “play” together.

Now as this crazy notion seeped into my mind, I concluded that self-hate makes black persons in America akin to an obsessive neurotic type, or to put it another way, they put themselves into complete situational obsession. There is this constant effort to run away from their individuality by annihilating all logic and reason, which ultimately have them confused. Doesn’t self-rejection invariably bring painful and obsessive feelings of exclusion? Moreover, is this the main reason why SO many blacks have a problem with interracial relationships?

One of the most common criticisms lobbed @ the black community in America is, “Why do you have to be SO angry?” Is their anger valid, valuable, and necessary? AND why it's completely fucked-up to try to take away their anger? And NOTHING angers black Americans like seeing one ‘their own’ date/marry someone of a white persuasion. I remember a blog entry I did and how it sparked comments, e-mail messages AND had a few chat sessions from persons that objected to a photo of black and white man kissing. There was such ANGER from black folks that I thought I was in a twilight zone! They were saying that while the white guy is cute, they couldn’t date him NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTED THEY WERE TO HIM! Suffice to say, I didn’t get the anger because in my opinion an attraction is an attraction and who can say where it will show up for us?

Why do black Americans act as if dating someone that is white means that they HAVE to forget about what their ancestors went through during the years of slavery? How do you reason with someone that says, “a man is man as long as it isn’t a white man” in their conversations? It is SO obvious that persons that think like this lack an understanding of themselves and are simply making an excuse for their “blackness”. Talk about the legacy of cultural genocide…the cause of color prejudices.

The poison of color prejudices must be eradicated through education, as these pathological disorders affects all sides. People need to learn about themselves in order to raise self-esteem. All other ways are temporal. This lack of esteem of self as an object worthy of love has great consequences, for one thing it keeps the person in a profound inner insecurity, as a result of which it inhibits or falsifies every relation with others. And anyone who is not working to restore racial harmony contributes to the injustices that persist…

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


With just nine queens left vying for the title of America’s Next Drag Superstar, the competition finally got hotter than a two piece and a biscuit on RuPaul’s Drag Race. The mini challenge was Ru’s version of The Price is Right — a price-guessing game she dubbed The Queen is Right. A chance to phone home! You betta believe all the queens wanted the chance to call their mom or boyfriend. I guess it goes without saying, but it’s gonna be hard to go without talking to anyone in the outside world while shooting this show.

During The Queen is Right, the queens had to guess the prices of such drag paraphernalia as tube socks (for stuffing those busts, of course!), hemorrhoid cream (the endearingly clueless Jessica Wild said of it: “It’s a cream for I don’t know what it is”), and duct tape. And when it came down to RuPaul’s Showcase Throwdown (a play on The Price is Right’s Showcase Showdown, duh), the queens had to guess on a collection of drag items including genuine brass knuckles, a designer wig, and pepper spray. (“What lady-boy night on the town would be complete without a can of pepper spray?” Ru asked. “With its own cute little carrying case. Perfect for the drag queen on the go.”) Ultimately, Raven squeaked out the win and made a call to her mom. “My biggest inspiration for drag is my mom.” Um, does she know that? Because, well, oh my then if she doesn’t.

This week’s main challenge was, unquestionably, one of the best in the history of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Impersonation time! The ladies brought to life their favorite celebrities on a Match Game rip-off cleverly titled Snatch Game. All the gals got to pick who to impersonate, even though some of them, like Tatianna, revealed that they really didn’t usually do impersonations besides themselves. Tyra stunk it up as Sasha Fierce/Beyoncé. Jujubee was marginally good (but with killer neck makeup) as Kimora Lee. Raven flopped as Paris Hilton. Sahara was rather forgettable as Whitney Houston. Morgan McMichaels put little effort into P!nk. And Sonique was detestable as Lady Gaga.

But let’s not dwell on such sad things as the boring or bad from the impersonations. Let’s talk good! The three most interesting impersonations were Pandora Boxx as the completely nutty, raspberry-era Carol Channing; Jessica Wild, who took the huge risk of doing an over-the-top RuPaul in front of RuPaul; and Tatianna as a country-fried and spaced-out Britney Spears.

Despite her early reluctance to do characters (“Tatianna is the character,” she assured viewers) and having to secure a wig from the momentarily-nice rival Morgan McMichaels, Tatianna ultimately did a breathtaking performance as Britney Spears. Jessica Wild, despite the producers desire to paint her as being somewhat unable to speak English, was cunning, smartly choosing to send up RuPaul in front of RuPaul. That wig alone was win-worthy! Granted, it was a tad over the top, as the other contestants mentioned. Yah, it’s always over the top. So kudos to her for taking a risk and succeeding. Then Pandora Boxx as Carol Channing and no one else created such a character and held on to it until end like she did. 

It was no surprise, but ultimately the elimination came down to: Sonique for her horrible butchering of Lady Gaga or Morgan McMichaels for not making P!nk as butch as she should have been. RuPaul said the choice was extremely difficult from the judges’ table, which this week included Lisa Rinna (in the above photo, hilariously small compared to the fabulously bedrag-ed Ru) and Niecy Nash. Granted, I don’t think that either Sonique or Morgan McMichaels played the game that well this week, but I have genuinely enjoyed both of them as characters on the show so far, so it was hard to see them lip sync for their lives against one another.

Again, the lip syncing, as it has been nearly every episode this season, was sort of not thrilling. I don’t know really what I’m expecting, but I haven’t seen anything that lights a fire under me so far. Maybe it’s still the song choice? I don’t so much see Stacey Q’s “Two of Hearts” as particularly inspiring. Although Sonique did come the closest to fire-lighting inspiration by ripping off her clothes and doing flips all over the stage. And as much as she thought that was going to save her next to Morgan McMichaels and her hapless puppet prancing, I knew that Sonique was probably going to have to sashay away. And she did. Sad, sure, but overall, Morgan McMichaels does have more long-term potential than Sonique, who never really developed that much of a personality on the show.

You know who else could use more personality on the show? The guest judges! I got super excited this week when I heard that my beloved Lisa Rinna would be guesting. Then she literally had about four lines — none of which were too crazy! (I was expecting her to serve up some real crazy!) And Niecy Nash, for all her hilariousness on The Insider lately, didn’t deliver either. Note to RuPaul’s Drag Race: Please use the guest judges more! Hell, Snatch Game “celebrity” Ugly Betty’s Alex Mapa got more screen time than either Rinna or Nash. I mean, right?!

Are you thinking the show’s guest judges need to be used better? Do you also agree that it was a hard week, with the judges choosing between Morgan McMichaels and Sonique? Who’s the front-runner right now, if you had to choose?

Monday, February 22, 2010


I believe that vision is the ability to see the future through the past; and MANY Africans in the U.S.A. can’t seem to let go of the past. Don’t get me wrong slavery was a tough pill to swallow and NOTHING segregates America like skin color. They allow complexion and feature differences to create this us VS them society. Be you black, white, red or blue, I am of the opinion that the ONLY thing that separates us from each other is how we ourselves and others in the world. @ The end of day, we SHOULD all be forging together as one…after all we are one BIG FAMILY! But I noticed that when it comes to our families, we tend to ONLY see our differences. We see the way they cling to ideas we don’t believe, or act in ways we try not to act. We see how practical we are and wonder how we can be the same. Similarly, within the African family we see how different we are from each other, ranging from gender to religious beliefs; it is almost as if they think they are a different species sometimes. Hence the reality of what exist is ALWAYS left of the middle of what I think should exist.

Kind of crazy when you think that in TRUTH they really are the same. I feel that by them ACKNOWLEDGING how close they are, instead of clinging to what separates them it would do them all some good but…Isn’t life all about being able to understand AND relate to people who, on the surface, may seem very different from us? This awareness prevents us from disconnecting from people on the other side of the tracks, and the other side of the world. But it seems as if black persons in America don’t understand this concept and the diabolical nature of knowing that you are apart of the problem and do NOTHING about it, THEY WILL ULTIMATELY DESTROY THEIR SOULS! When you allow the lies and psychological manipulation to damage your mind, you continue to live with the psychological damage that racism brings. In my opinion, the agent of this psychosis is worse than those whose minds are poisoned to believe racist ideas and become THEM! This is a sickness that MUST be cured, but ONLY when you deal with victim and the perpetrator…which in MOST cases tend to be one in the same. The rape AND carnage that was brought upon Africans living in America and everywhere else in the world CANNOT be escaped! So it is OUR duty as humans to build upon that which hurts us.



Sunday, February 21, 2010


I. …An Atheists REALLY believed that life is meaningless?

II. …Atheism was responsible for the GREATEST crimes in human history?

III. …Atheism WAS dogmatic?

IV. …Atheists think EVERYTHING in the universe arose by chance?

V. …Atheism had NO connection to science?

VI. …ALL atheists were arrogant?

VII. … ALL Atheists were closed to a spiritual experience?

VIII. …Atheists believe that there is NOTHING beyond human life and human understanding?

IX. …Atheism provided NO basis for morality?

X. …Atheists actually believed there IS a god?

These questions I pose to you are all WHAT IFS…so those of you that have such a narrow of yourselves, life AND anyone that dares question the very existence of God…Can you tell me that the Atheist view about life REALLY make you feel better about your existence on this planet? Does holding your head high AND looking down @ someone who does NOT believe in God bring you close to salvation? Is this the Godly way to live your life?  You may say that you have to defend God, but if you believe God is who he is then do YOU need to defend him? As you weigh the answers to those questions, ponder this one as well: Have you ever entertained the notion that atheist argument could be right? 

We all know that God’s existence cannot be proven; nor can it be dis-proven; and the FACT that man’s laws and principles are disputably based on an innate sense of right and wrong, how could you not? Over the years man’s laws have been adapted, changed, or done away with due to man’s need to have power over critical thinking and debate. Which only leaves many to believe that if there is a God, he is either unable to adapt or he is unwilling prove his existence.

Therefore, God’s existence would be subjective to both religion and individuals. So then it stands to reason that if the idea of God is subjective, then one can choose to interpret God however one wishes. I just wish that more of us was willing to view the truth as a double-edged sword…You know the ones that are defined by man, of which we are uncertain about and can never prove or disprove. @ The end of it all, I guess it is better to live by the truth that comes via religion, rather than accept the uncertainty, without recognizing or questioning it.

Funny how we question the things that threatened our reality huh? Most would say if there is NO god then that means he didn’t create the universe so who did? I myself do NOT buy the BIG BANG THEORY; but it does provide Evolution with an alternative debate when it comes to creation of the universe. However, I think that most Atheists would admit that NOT all answers are given by this theory, and that there are several questions raised by them. While most religions, all of which claim their god OR gods to be the only true god OR gods, teach their doctrine within a scale of narrow-minded interpretation that is based on the fundamental teaching that God exist and he wants us to live our lives in a certain way…An Atheist does NOT take this path, in fact they base their believes in reality… 

THEY DON’T CLAIM TO BE PHILOSOPHERS…THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE THAT QUESTIONS EVERYTHING & PUT THINGS OUT THERE FOR YOU TO CHEW ON…I am ALL for truth, but I am of the opinion that if we just live our lives and choose a destiny FREE from subjugation by those who seek to tell us what this universe is all about, we will find a way to bring mankind to a balancing point that can evolve the spirit of life EVERYWHERE! So what if that means we have to ABANDON the notion of NO God and make our way to “paradise” by taking Atheist position and saying WHAT IF?

Saturday, February 20, 2010


"Holding Back the Years" is the 7th track of

Simply Red's debut

studio album Picture Book. The song was a smash success for the group and quickly rose to the top of charts across the world. It remains their most successful single, reaching number one on the

Billboard Hot 100 for the week ending July 12, 1986. It is one of two Simply Red songs (the other being their cover of "I

If You Don't Know Me by Now") to reach number one. "Holding Back the Years" reached #2 in the

UK and was a worldwide hit. It had initially been released in the UK the year before, reaching #51.

Background: Frontman of the group, Mick Hucknall, wrote the song when he was seventeen, while living at his father's house. The chorus did not come to him until many years later.[1] His mother left the family when he was three; the upheaval caused by this event inspired him to write the song.[2]

He recorded a version of the song with his first group the Frantic Elevators in 1982 but the real success came when the Simply Red version was released in 1985. In 2005, a brand-new stripped down acoustic version of the song was released on the album Simplified, and this version received heavy airplay on smooth jazz radio stations.

Music video: The video for this song was filmed in the English coastal town of Whitby and the famous scene where Hucknall watches the coastal view from his window can be seen on the cover of the single, in its music video and, for a brief time, in the music video of "If You Don't Know Me by Now". The other band members play the role of the local cricket team who see Hucknall off on his journey.

I know that songs hold many different meaning for each of us…so I it would be interesting to know what emotions if any this song evokes in you. For me it is about missing Noel and how I am holding onto to his return. I can’t even think about him or this without tears coming to eyes. So enjoy this song, I know I will over AND over!

Thursday, February 18, 2010


The other day I was asked, ‘what is the secret to my relationship with noel?’ I often smile when that question is thrown @ me because the person doing the asking sees the same thing in us that we see in each other. I am in no way an expert in LOVE and I will admit that I’ve had MORE than my share of princes that turned into frogs. But years pass by, and as they say, hindsight is 20/20. What I learned from these experiences is that to have true love YOU MUST FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF FIRST. You must stop the madness of forgetting to LOVE your authentic self so that someone else would love the ‘idea’ of you. 

Isn’t it amazing how people consider walking on water a miracle, when the REAL miracle is being alive AND loving ourselves unconditionally in the process? I know most would say that it is such a cliché to talk about LOVING yourself first, but if you think about how could you not? I know that MANY of us grew up being scolded with statements like “Don’t be selfish!” As a result of this well-intentioned message we can find ourselves feeling a little guilty when we put ourselves first. This message somehow caused us to abandon ourselves in order to earn the love that is actually our birthright. Self-abandonment will ALWAYS cause problems for us as we move forward seeking love from others. 

I suppose following the crowd is fine…after all who wants to be all by themselves and lonely while everyone is socializing and peering over @ you like you are THE weirdo? But SELF-LOVE is only the warmest fuzzy feeling that you could ever experience…EVER! It is all about being comfortable in your own skin AND ask yourself, am I someone that I could LOVE, HONOR N’ CHERISH for the rest of my life? celebrating the uniqueness of you…your strengths, gifts, beauty, interests, and desires. So trying to start a relationship with another without it well…So as you go through relationships that tend to accelerate like dog years,

ask yourself, am I someone that I could LOVE, HONOR N’ CHERISH for the rest of my life?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


When RuPaul appeared at the beginning of this week’s episode of Drag Race, she told the queens that in her early years she had no money and “would eat anything.” (sorry for the late recap, I see drag race Tuesday nights on VH1 as we are not fortunate to have LOGO here in the Bahamas). And now, she continued, “that’s what you’re going to do.” Dun, dun, dun! Commence the (rather inventive) game of “Chicken or What?” Where—you guessed it!—the ladies had to put on a blindfold and eat a nibblet of a fried morsel that could be chicken, then decide whether it was indeed chicken or, alternatively, “what.” “What” being, of course, something totally disgusting—bull’s testicles, soy chicken, etc.—and completely not white meat from our feathered friends.

I think Pandora Boxx best summed up the odd situation with her epithet: “I did not know that this was going to be Drag Survivor.” Hello, she said what we were all thinking! I think this particular mini challenge was actually a bit more Fear Factor than Survivor, but the sentiment remains: When did Drag Race go all…gross?

Alas, what was grosser than the actual mini challenge, though, was the egregious pandering the contest seemed to have toward giving one contestant a chance to be on top. Maybe it wasn’t intentional on the producers’ parts (as I’m nearly sure things were planned before the contestants were chosen), but it seemed that the food fest was built specifically for none other than resident big-girl Mystique Summers Madison. And natch, she did win, using her cringe-inducing strategy: “Chew halfway,” she explained, “Fill your mouth with water. Swallow.” Cutie-pie Morgan McMichaels came in right behind her, which pitted the two against each other as team captains for the main challenge.

The main challenge found the queens shooting a commercial for the Crisco-like-but-Drag-Race-ified-and-completely-fake Disco Extra Greasy Shortening. As RuPaul explained: “You’re going to be selling it, country-style.” Mmmhmm. That’s what she said. Indeed. The teams divided out with Mystique picking Pandora Boxx, Jujubee, Tatianna, and Jessica Wild, while Morgan McMichaels ended up with Raven, Sahara, Sonique, and Tyra. The big story producers tried to foist upon us viewers was the whole Jessica-Wild-can’t-speak-English theme, but I wasn’t buying it at all. In fact, using what she had at her disposal (a crappy chicken outfit and a bad script), Jessica killed as the “Disco Critter,” while Raven never seemed to take her version of the commercial’s emcee to the right level.

The point of the challenge was comedy, and I think several of the ladies missed that boat. Some of them, like Pandora Boxx and Tyra Sanchez (who, BTW, pulled off a rather stunning turnaround this week), really did understand that, though, and made their roles funny. Tyra’s baby was just killer, and I loved that Pandora was unabashedly trashy, chain-smoking and grinning through the whole commercial. Raven and Mystique, particularly, didn’t get that they were supposed to ham it up in this instance, even though they were given instruction otherwise by comedienne Kathy Najimy. Bringing in Najimy to work with the ladies, I must say, was a deft move—she actually provided feedback that seemed useful to the gals, even if they didn’t heed her advice. Where’s the campaign to make Kathy a permanent judge/consultant on Drag Race? I’d back that in a minute. Move over, Merle!

As for the runway, Tyra surprised again by putting together an outfit that morphed into two additional looks. (Said Kathy of the change, hilariously, “I’ll change at the gas station, Mama. You won’t even know!”) Like, what? I honestly did not see Tyra delivering so much, especially after last week’s mess with her attitude and all. Jessica Wild, who just as a reminder I predicted last week would be a dark horse contender for America’s Next Drag Superstar, served with some apple-bottom jeans that stirred from the moment they hit the runway. (Santino grossed me out, though, when he said he wanted to mount her because of the jeans. Um, no.) And Raven was darling on the runway. The best, though? None other than RuPaul (pictured above), of course, who seemed to arrive in an outfit made to rival Raven and Jessica Wild’s “Disco Critter” chicken costume.

No surprise, it was Raven and the mess that was Mystique, yet again, who were in the bottom and forced to “lip sync for their lives.” While Raven was bad in the commercial (Kathy rightfully told her that she needed to have a little fun and “realize this is just a bowl full of fun soup”), Mystique was bad in the commercial and on the runway, where the ladies were told to dress in “country couture.” Honestly, Juju summed up Mystique’s mess the best when she said: “She looks like she’s a big girl going out to a club.” For sure, she was just wearing a slouchy top that was once a long dress and some seriously dumpy gauchos. Runway fail, for sure.

Just like last week, the lip syncing was pitiful. It seemed that Mystique didn’t even know the words to the song she and Raven were singing, “I Hear You Knocking” by Wynonna Judd, and Raven, although she looked cute, performed at about the level that she did while lip syncing last week. Which is to say, not very high. Also: Why weren’t they singing a Tanya Tucker song? I suppose none are quite right for the main stage, but still, it seemed weird to have Tanya, who looked adorable I might add, there and not sort of boost her ego a bit.

The truth is, we should have all seen the Mystique offing coming when she wasn’t afforded immunity, even though she’d won the mini challenge and led a group. (Eating her way to win a mini challenge couldn’t save her!) But alas, it was her time. I mean, it seems like the producers had kept her around for just long enough to have her be entertaining to viewers, even though they sort of knew that she’d never make it too long. (If it had gone on much longer, I’m afraid Raven might have murdered someone. She said nearly as much after being spared.) Without a doubt, though, Mystique made me smile for the first three episodes of Drag Race, but overall, Mystique was a mess. During the whole hour, too, I kept thinking about how we’d made it soooo long without seeing Mystique do the splits… and then there it was at minute 59: Mystique’s signature move, as she sashayed away, per Ru.

Well, at least can never say that Mystique was boring. Do you agree, Drag Race watchers? Were you sad to see Mystique go? Who are you pulling for?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010









Monday, February 15, 2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010


VALENTINE’S DAYCan you hear the collective groans? Holidays can be loaded, but V-Day carries baggage that can get heavier by the year. Dates, flowers, candy, dinners, EXPECTATIONS. So why put yourself through the stress for one day even if you are single OR not? I am of the opinion that EVERYDAY is VALENTINES DAY! So as you celebrate today, how about you allow this day give you reasons to: 









Saturday, February 13, 2010


So I chose this song this because Noel LOVES Céline Dion's and the other night while laying in bed I thought this would be the PERFECT throwback song for the week. So with this being valentine weekend and Noel NOT being here, I know the words of this song will reache him as both of our hearts go on…

"My Heart Will Go On" is the theme song of the 1997 blockbuster film Titanic. With music by James Horner, lyrics by Will Jennings, and production by Walter Afanasieff, it was recorded by Céline Dion. Originally released in 1997 on Dion's album Let's Talk About Love, it went to number 1 all over the world, including the United States, United Kingdom and Australia. My Heart Will Go On was released in Australia and Germany on December 8, 1997, and in the rest of the world in January and February of 1998.[1] It became one of the best-selling singles of all time, and was the world's best selling single of 1998.[2][3]

Horner had originally composed the song as an instrumental motif that is used in several scenes during Titanic. He then wanted to make a full vocal song out of it, for use in the end credits of the film. Director James Cameron did not want such a song, but Horner went ahead anyway and got Jennings to write the lyrics. Dion was Horner's first choice to sing it, but when she heard the song, she did not want to record it. It was her manager and husband, René Angélil, who convinced her to record a demo version, which was something she hadn't done for many years. Horner waited until Cameron was in an appropriate mood before presenting him with the song. After playing it several times, Cameron declared his approval, although worried that he might be criticised for "going commercial at the end of the movie."

The song was recorded in one take and without instrumental accompaniment. Horner, Dion, and later Sony Music Entertainment decided to use this first recording because "Dion's voice was perfect."
The music video was directed by Bille Woodruff and released at the end of 1997. It was included later on the All the Way… A Decade of Song & Video DVD.

At the height of the song's popularity, some radio stations in the U.S. and the UK played an edited version of the song, that had dramatic moments of dialog from the Jack and Rose lead characters in the film inserted in between Dion's vocal lines. It was included later on Back to Titanic second soundtrack album.

"My Heart Will Go On" is Céline Dion's biggest hit and one of the best-selling singles in history. In the U.S. the song debuted at number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and stayed in that position for 2 weeks. It spent 10 weeks at number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Airplay and was also number 1 for 2 weeks on the Hot 100 Singles Sales. Only a limited number of copies was released – 690,000 – which were sold out in a few days. The single was eventually certified gold in the U.S. The song also became number 1 on several other U.S. charts: Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks (for 10 weeks), Top 40 Mainstream (10 weeks), Hot Latin Pop Airplay (4 weeks) and Hot Latin Tracks (1 week). "My Heart Will Go On" was the first English-language song to top the Hot Latin Tracks chart and Dion was given a Billboard Latin Music Award for that achievement.

"My Heart Will Go On" was number 1 all over the world, spending many weeks at the top position, including: 17 weeks on the Eurochart Hot 100 Singles, 15 weeks in Switzerland, 13 weeks in France and Germany, 11 weeks in the Netherlands and Sweden, 10 weeks in Belgium Wallonia, Denmark, Italy and Norway, 7 weeks in Belgium Flanders, 6 weeks in Ireland, 4 weeks in Australia and Austria, 2 weeks in Spain and the UK, and 1 week in Finland.

"My Heart Will Go On" won the 1997 Academy Award for Best Original Song.[5] It dominated the Grammy Awards of 1999, winning Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance and Best Song Written Specifically for a Motion Picture or Television.[6] "My Heart Will Go On" won also the Golden Globe Award for "Best Original Song-Motion Picture" in 1998.[7]

Due to the song's widespread popularity when it was released, it is considered to be Céline Dion's signature song.[14] Today, along with two other songs from film soundtracks, Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" from The Bodyguard and Bryan Adams' "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, it is considered one of the biggest love ballads of the 1990s.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


My favorite moment of last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race revolves around this quote from RuPaul herself: “Tatianna, that’s an answer for the Miss America contest—not the RuPaul Drag Race contest.

Sitting at the judges’ table, the drag superstar host had just asked Tatianna who from Team Pandora Boxx deserved to go home after losing the burlesque challenge. And, while everyone else on the team was saying that Tatianna herself should take her high heels back to the streets and leave the Drag Race womb, Tatianna decided to go allllll kinds of PC with her answer, picking the increasingly adorable Morgan McMichaels because “she has immunity.” No, no, no. Finger wag! Bad idea. Because then came the aforementioned head-thump from RuPaul. We don’t play that way here at Drag Race, RuPaul scolded, telling the (truly sweet) Tatianna how things work.

You know who else needed a big ol’ head-thump during last night’s episode? Tyra Sanchez, the mouthy little witch who decided to whine her way through the entire hour. I could not deal with her by the end, as she was unhappy with everything, bitching about pole dancing and wearing high heels during dance practice. (And how effing bitchy was it when she wiped away Shangela’s lipsticked goodbye note? A big ol’ finger wag to that.) And this quote from Tyra was just enough to send me over the edge: “I wanted to be in Pandora’s group,” the diva said, after being selected to Team Sahara Davenport. “She had all the tall, skinny, pretty bitches.” Well, boo hoo, I want a Gold Card and diamond earrings and a big plate of baked ziti. Right now. But you don’t always get what you want!

Sahara said it best when she lamented about Tyra: “Oh my God, I’m in a group with, like, Satan’s baby.” At one point, while the rest of her team was working up their costumes for the challenge, Tyra gingerly nestled herself under a blanket on the couch. “Don’t wake her up,” the darling Jujubee warned RuPaul, who was aghast at Tyra’s behavior during her check-in rounds. “She’ll scream!” RuPaul gave Tyra a little talking to, but ultimately let her go back to sleep and seemed more amused by her antics than anything. Which, like — what? How’s Tyra getting away with such crap? Where’s the RuPaul head-thump in this instance? I was more than shocked that Tyra’s awful actions during the run-up to the challenge didn’t come up on the main stage. But I suppose her dancing and selling on the streets were better than average. And I’m calmed, truly, by the fact that her bitchy attitude will likely come and bite her where the sun don’t shine…eventually.

With all the focus on Tyra’s heinous attitude and Tatianna being thrown under the bus by her teammates, I was shocked — shocked, I tell you! — when it came down to Raven and Nicole Paige Brooks lip syncing for their lives at the end of the episode. Granted, the two did make the least amount of money during the burlesque show, so that was a strike against them right there. And, as several of the contestants said, Nicole Paige Brooks (from Atlanta, Georg-ia), is not sexy. (Raven: “Nicole was picked last because this is a sexy contest, and she’s not sexy.) But, I know this competition is about four things: charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. Did charisma have nothing to do with the bottom-two selections this week? Because if it did, Tyra — and maybe even Tatianna — would have been slumming it on the main stage. Alas, maybe this week was more of a talent-focused week? Whatever.

The lip synching by Raven and Nicole Paige Brooks, overall, was truly heinous. But I sort of blame it on the song. While I love En Vogue’s “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It),” it just didn’t seem to have the oomph needed to really send the performances over the top. I’d never choose it for a big ol’ sing out. Ultimately, Raven turned it out at the end, and Nicole Paige Brooks went home, which was probably for the best. I mean, as much as I think it should have been Tyra’s week to “sashay away,” the producers are smart to keep her — purely for dramatic fire-stoking potential down the line. And Raven is, in the end, more fierce than Nicole Paige Brooks (no matter how fabulously and how many times you say “from Atlanta, Georg-ia”).

Other observations from the episode: (1) Mystique Summers Madison has figured out what she’s gotta do to stay in this competition—do that crazy, slam-down splits thing. But let’s just see how long that floats her through the competition. And how long her legs and crotch can handle that. (2) Jessica Wild seems to be a quiet frontrunner so far, in my opinion. Did you see that fabulous dress she wore on the main stage? Ye-owww! (3) Dita von Teese, love you lots. But you didn’t add much to the show. Neither did you Kim Coles. (4) Tyra, while heinous, has shades of season 1’s winner Bebe Zahara Benet, especially after showing up on the main stage with that natty ‘do. (5) Sahara Davenport won the challenge and won a $1,500 gift certificate to, which was my favorite web site even before I checked it out and discovered that its uber-genius tagline is “Sparkle, Anytime.” (6) I need more Merle Ginsberg and Santino Rice, please.

As for other highlights from the episode, the menagerie of inspired vernacular and quotable quotes continue to kill me. Such as: “It’s RuPaul here with your Drag-U Weather forecast! This we can expect a high-pressure system, followed by storms of ‘Hell no!’ ‘Oh no she didn’t!’ and ‘What you call me bitch?!’” —RuPaul, in the She Mail delivery explaining the upcoming challenge...“You’ll be turning a lady into a tramp. The lady in question is… me. Or as I like to say: Mini Ru.” —RuPaul, while explaining that the episode-opening mini-challenge would be trampy makeovers to Barbie doll-sized versions of herself.

“Nicole cannot bring sexy back.” —Raven, about Nicole Paige Brooks’ lack of sexiness “I feel that pole-dancing — that it’s kinda a little hoe-ish.” —Tyra, complaining yet again about pole-dancing (?!?!)

“That girl will eat Beyoncé in one swallow!” —RuPaul, about Mystique Summers Madison while on the main stage.

“I felt like Eartha Kitt. I’m serving fish, honey, and this ain’t trout.” —Jujubee, during her walk on the main stage

“I do sassy — I don’t do bitchy!” —RuPaul, after Sonique says that her bitchiness while on the street selling cherry pie gift certificates was inspired by Ru

“No one wants a cherry pie that bites back.” —RuPaul, schooling Sonique on her cherry pie-selling bitchiness

“Lady ATM!” —RuPaul, after Raven says that, looking back, she wishes she wouldn’t have moved that much on the stage so she could make more money

What did you think, Drag Race watchers? Did you love the episode? Do you agree with my growing hatred of Tyra Sanchez? What was your favorite quip from the episode?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


So the other day I was @ the barber shop having a typical convo with my barber. We talked about this n’ that, but one subject of our conversation that stuck with me is when he told me that his long-term girlfriend and he are no longer together because she cheated on him. Dude look like he was going to cry as he was talking about all the things he did for her and how much he sacrifice for her. It was SO amazing to see a man reduce to a child-like state, but as sorrowful as he was I couldn’t sympathize with him 100% because I knew that he cheated on her as well. In fact he tried to talk to my sister on that level and CONSTANTLY asks about her when we see each other. I just find it AMAZING how hetero men can cheat left, right AND center without blinking an eye, but the moment their #1 girl does it, they can’t deal with it. Why do you think men can GIVE & NOT TAKE when it comes to infidelity in their relationships?

Do you think it is nature and they just can’t help themselves? Do you think they subscribe to that old adage that says ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus?’ I remember being a teenage boy dating women and how my counterparts would INSIST that I should have as much women as I want. It didn’t matter who got hurt…the ONLY that was important was getting what I entitled to. I found this concept to be a bit much and I guess I didn’t do it because part of me knew I wasn’t into females and the other part was the fact that I was raised in a home with mostly females. I saw what cheating men did them and it wasn’t pretty @ all!

But I blame the women that know he is doing it and the ones that these men are cheating with. How does a man such as this come across as being THE man? What qualifies him to be the type of man who SHOULD have as many women as he pleases? Talk about confidence gone wrong…I don’t see the intrigue of such men, but then again I am NOT their target gender so…It was SO nice to see a woman that decided that enough is enough AND too much is too much! It is HIGH time these boys fraternizing as men get a dose of their own medicine. From the moment they realize what sex is, they become boys that are obsessed with getting it! I guess if they are not, they would somehow cripple their masculinity and would be unable to validate their reasons for breathing. Is this what living in a patriarchal society means?

As hetero-men do they need to have a following of various females to feel superior? Do you think if they didn’t live in this way, they would be seen as traitors to mankind? How does one intervene to save the hetero male from decades of womanizing behavior? I know that ACCEPTING truth about who we are and what we do is something that NEVER happens for we humans. Despite all of their behavior, I believe that underneath they know that their actions are wrong, but being told this is how it is done, how can they not do it? I say by LIVING THEIR TRUTH and NOT living according to someone else’s idea of who they feel you are and should be…

Tuesday, February 9, 2010



Monday, February 8, 2010



ME: hi
VON: u home?
ME: yes
VON: how is everything?
VON: haven't seen or heard from u in a while
ME: things r GREAT
VON: das gud
ME: yep it is
VON: u still on mackey street?
ME: off mackey street
ME: yes
VON: tru
VON: i shud come hail u
VON: u there?
ME: I am here
VON: this is von
ME: I know who this is
VON: u home alone?
ME: Yeah
VON: can i come by?
ME: why do u want to come here?
VON: to hail u
ME: true
ME: cause u don't like to hail if u see me public?
VON: when did i see u in public
ME: a few times in harbour bay
VON: did u hail me?
ME: I know how u go so
ME: it wasn't surprising
ME: I was going to
ME: but u looked @ me like don't hail me
ME: so I didn't
VON: honestly i dont recall
ME: no prob
VON: and i am sorry is i offended u
ME: u didn't
ME: honest
ME: I know that's how u r
VON: i do look bitchy in public tho
VON: Lol
VON: so where is ur bf?
ME: bf?
ME: wot's that?
VON: Boyfriend
ME: i know that
ME: but I dont' do boyfriends
VON: cool
VON: i coming to finish that night
VON: lol
ME: u r 2 funny
VON: y u say that?
ME: cause u r
VON: cause i know i aint coming???
ME: huh?
VON: or cause u aint ga give me directions 2 come?
ME: Nope
ME: I am not
VON: or cause u aint interested?
ME: if I was going to fuck u
ME: I would have all those years ago
VON: give me the directions
ME: I am good thanks
VON: see wat i mean
VON: u dont trust me ya kno
VON: so wat else up?
ME: i have no problem trusting u
ME: nothing much
ME: just living
ME: enjoying life
VON: tru
VON: so y u wont give me directions?
ME: because I am not interested in having sex with u
VON: ok
VON: geesh
VON: u said it
VON: y u dnt do the bf things?
ME: don't have time for it
VON: tru
ME: not worth it
VON: i think the same thing
ME: true
VON: so much has changed since we really talked
ME: cool
ME: change is WONDERFUL
VON: one day i hope we can go bac 2 dat
VON: just friends
ME: I have no problems with being a friend of yours
ME: none @ all
VON: cool
VON: neway i have 2 run
VON: but if u c me in public.... HAIL!!!!
ME: will do
VON: despite the bitch look
ME: be safe
VON: u 2.... take care.... my number is ---------
ME: ok
VON: please use it frm time 2 time
ME: lol
ME: I will do my best
VON: i hope dat aint fake
VON: lol
ME: nah
ME: ain't nothing fake about me
VON: k