THIS YEAR'S END...

My formula for living this year is quite simple…I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night; and In between, I occupy myself as best as I can…The year that is about to past was all about me adjusting to the better angel of my nature AND living the best life possible. I feel a sense of balance AND happiness that I’ve NEVER felt in my life which is interesting since I’ve been without a job for a few months, had my car repossessed AND fell behind in my bills…ALL THINGS TO GET YOU TO THE NEXT PHASE OF YOUR IS HOW I SEE THINGS. I TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD & CALL IT LIFE! This year has taught me some INTERESTING things and some people, places AND things were left behind and I am sure that they don’t understand, but all things in time…For a while I wondered if it’s all worth while, will things change? Then I realized that CHANGE has to start with me. There were some things wrong that I couldn’t see right in front of my face AND all I had to do was open my eyes. I wonder if I hadn’t done this, where would I be? I mean I’m already a product of a stifling society that chooses to SUFFOCATE me between walls of rules AND stereotypes; and if one doesn’t have a STRONG support system of family AND friends then…I felt like a triangle that was being made into a square little by little, day by day. This HURT because I knew that I was capable of SO much more and this year proved that to me is SO many ways. I knew that couldn’t OR wouldn’t be content as I am a free spirit that is looking for answers far beyond the comfort of my soul. This year I was NO longer that man STRUGGLING with confines and REBELLING against constraints for they are apart of me. It is like Alanis Morissette says in her song THANK U…THE MOMENT I LET GO OF IT WAS THE MOMENT I GOT MORE THAN I COULD HANDLE. THE MOMENT I JUMPED OFF OF IT WAS THE MOMENT I TOUCHED DOWN…THESE WORDS GAVE ME SUCH CLARITY & IT MADE ME SEE THAT I COULD BE MY OWN WORST ENEMY BY GOING AGAINST MY TRUTH…BUT ALL IN ALL I AM GLAD THAT I AM THAT WARRIOR THAT REFUSES TO LOOSE, KNOWING THAT THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST ME. I WILL FOREVER TAKE ON EVERY CHALLENGE THAT COMES MY WAY IN 2009 AS IF IT IS MY LAST GREAT BATTLE. THIS YEAR MARKED THE BEGINNING OF ME NOT HOLDING BACK ANYTHING FOR TOMORROW FOR I KNOW THE POWER OF THE PRESENT. AND THE CONFIDENCE THAT I HAVE IN MY PERSONAL POWER, THE FAITH IN THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF MY STRUGGLES SAYS THAT I WILL WIN EVERY BATTLE BEFORE IT IS FOUGHT. LIFE FOR ME IS ALL ABOUT EVALUATION, PREPARATION & EXECUTION. THIS ATTITUDE WILL TAKE ME BEYOND THE NORMAL LIMITS, MAKING ME MORE POWERFUL EACH TIME I OVERCOME MY STRUGGLES…INTERNALLY, EXTERNALLY, MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY & SPIRITUALLY…THANK YOU 2008 YOU’VE BEEN A SOURCE OF GREAT THINGS…

THE END IS NEAR...

…SO AS THIS YEAR COMES TO A CLOSE I HOPE YOU:

1. LOOK INTO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL & TAKE A GOOD LOOK @ THE INNER YOU & SORT THROUGH ALL THE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU’D LIKE TO CHANGE. 


2. LOOK BEYOND YOUR NATURAL BEING & COME TO TERMS WITH WHO YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY! 


3. LEARN TO THINK THINGS THROUGH BEFORE YOU REACT IN ANY SITUATION. 


4. TAKE TIME TO PRAISE YOURSELF FOR GOALS REACHED. 


5. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK ABOUT MISTAKES OF THE PAST. 


6. BE COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ALONE FOR THIS WILL ALLOW YOU TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU. 


7. DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY I NEED HELP. 


8. SET @ LEAST 20 MINUTES A DAY ASIDE TO REFLECT ON THE DAYS EVENTS & HOW THEY MADE YOU FEEL. 


9. TELL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THEM. 


10. UNDERSTAND THAT EACH OF US ARE DIFFERENT YET THE SAME. 


11. GUARD YOUR HEART N’ SOUL @ ALL COST. 


12. DON’T LOVE ANYONE MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF. 


13. DEMAND & GIVE RESPECT @ ALL TIMES…

THE FIRST TIME...

 

Spinning empty bottles

I come undone.

For a moment

Thinking of things

That goes unsaid

I haven't heard your voice,

But I know when you speak.

I do not follow your words,

But I know what you say.

I cannot know your immense joy,

But I feel the sting of your venom!

 

You leave me in a world

Filled with curiosity;

And I sometimes I get away from me.

Thinking we were mirrors of each other

I lay bare,

Hoping you possess some traits of me;

Rather than the unconscious and unresolved issues you see.

So I bleed willingly as you wound my soul

Knowing that you don’t really care about me.

If only you were the change I seek to be in this world,

As I foolishly LOVE that which I hate…

 

Feeling drawn to reflect

Your inner self back at you,

The parts that don’t show

True beauty, divinity, sweetness, or the light.

It was like you had the soul of another…

And the pieces of you that remain,

Are the ties that bind.

The ones that try to clutter my mind

Of the thoughtless thoughts

That can ONLY be me seeing you,

For THE FIRST TIME all over again…

¿SOULED OUT?

So here we are, on the home stretch of another year past as we are about to embrace 2009; but does it mean anything significant to us? Of course many of us are going to say this is the time for me to start over AND make some resolutions; where that is all fine and dandy, how realistic is that? I am of the opinion that BEFORE there is ANY movement on things new, we need take care of things old. I know that YESTERDAY is gone and there is little that can change what has already occurred. However, we can change how we feel about the past AND our outlook toward the future. So many of us don’t seem to realize that the simple things we overlook OR take for granted are the things that will us SOULLESS. Isn’t sad that SO many of us EAT sorrow for breakfast, REGRET for lunch and MISERY for dinner? Moreover, we seem to have this WOE IS ME syndrome going on when life is SO much more than we know (or care to know). We have it SO good when we think about life’s REAL challenges like UNEMPLOYMENT, HOMELESSNESS, LONELINESS or SORROW; yet we are SO consumed with what is happening to just us…If ONLY we could see the BIGGER picture AND get ourselves on the right path. Rather we wear a badge of hurt on our foreheads AND utter words into our lives that don’t heal OR forgive. Why do we give power to oppression by reliving the NEGATIVE things in OUR lives daily? It is OBVIOUS that the DAMAGING thoughts of the old ONLY pollute things new, as we are STILL responding to AND living with things that we mostly have control over. If only a NEW YEAR truly meant a NEW AND IMPROVE YOU…If that were the case I would WELCOME a NEW YEAR EVERY minute, but that would prove FRUITLESS as we CONTINUE to waste another second to turn things around…What is going to fill that GAPING hole in our soul? I mean there comes a time when you will have to tap into your soul AND recognize who you are by and for yourself AND get silent so GOD can get through for a change…ISN’T IT ABOUT TIME THAT WE STOP CASTING DARK SHADOWS ON THE LIGHT OF OUR SOULS? IF NOT FOR THE PURE SIMPLE REASON THAT I ASK, CAN YOU DO IT FOR THE HAPPINESS, PEACE N’ LOVE YOU DESERVE? DON’T GET UP N’ FIGHT FOR YOU LIFE BECAUSE I INSIST UPON IT, SH!T GET IT BACK BECAUSE NO MATTER WHO/WHAT YOU ARE…NO MATTER WHERE/WHAT YOU ARE…NO MATTER THE WHY/WHAT OF YOUR LIFE YOU SIMPLY DESERVE IT! SO AS 2008 COMES TO A CLOSE, I SAY RID YOURSELF OF ALL NEGATIVE THINGS & LET YOUR TRUE BEAUTY SHINE…BECOME THE BEING YOU ARE MEANT TO BE! CALL BALANCE INTO YOUR SOUL & GIVE LIFE A CHANCE…REMEMBER THE PAST, BUT DON’T LIVE IT OVER & OVER AGAIN. WHEN 2009 COMES PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVEN’T SOULED OUT…

BLACKBERRY MOLASSES

Mista is the self-titled debut album by Atlanta based R&B youth quartet, Mista, released on July 30, 1996 via Elektra Entertainment Group. Produced entirely by super-producers Organized Noize (TLC’s "Waterfalls"), Mista was fueled by the release of the album's first single "Blackberry Molasses". BLACKBERRY MOLASSES peaked at No. 13 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart. BLACKBERRY MOLASSES is a BEAUTIFUL song because it is ORIGINAL and it gives you that REALISTIC feeling about life. It has both GREAT melody AND harmony that gets you from the start. I LOVE this song because it can on SO many aspect of OUR lives as we more often find ourselves STUCK in situations that slows us down as we simply try to accomplish LIFE…SO I THOUGHT THIS BE A FITTING SOME TO END THE YEAR WITH BECAUSE THOUGH THE LYRICS ARE ABOUT HARD TIMES, THE OVER ALL THEME IS THAT WE MUST KEEP PUSHING ON & KEEP TRYING EVEN THOUGH THINGS SLOW US DOWN, WE DON’T SLOW LIFE DOWN…

¡IT WAS JUS' SEX!

You came out of the shadows

With NOTHING I desired,

Yet you insist

On a thrist

With NO strings attached

Begging me to go back…

To the days I wore a condom

Just to pleasure you?

Pity I want to be the man

That shows you another way…

You are worthy of love,

Yet you give yourself away

My dick could NEVER truly penetrate you;

For I don’t have the key to your heart.

You need someone that’ll take his time inside of you,

Break down that fear AND rid you of that low self-esteem.
For you will NEVER know what it means

When two men come together sexually…

You are SO consumed with living a life beyond your reach

That you can’t see that is NOT a game;

And you can’t see yourself as anything more than the ass,

That gets F&CKED each and every way.

But I see a man full of hope,

Yet to experience LOVE

ONE day I guess…

So don’t beg me to F&CK you,

My patience been wearing thin!

Your HIV status don’t mean SH!T to me;

And it is NOT because you are on BGC

I’ve told in SO may ways

I am just not into you;

And I don’t desire to fill you with my touch…

So as your ass burns, aches N’ yearns

I feel sorry you

And I will do as you wish

And place your name in the book

Of men that don’t get

That I am sorry…

BUT IT WAS JUST SEX!

tgk ©

¡HAPPY CHRISTMAS DAY!

With so much to do all the time, it can be difficult to find time to simply breathe, think, and explore our lives…So I am glad that it is still possible, to feed our souls and to briefly separate ourselves from life’s frenetic pace by enjoying this day…HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF MY FAMILY & FRIENDS, MAY THIS DAY BE FILLED WITH JOYOUS MEMORIES OF LOVE N’ HAPPINESS!!!

¡HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!

So this is Christmas…well NOT just yet, we are ONE day away from the BIG event. Isn’t it AMAZING how quickly the year went by? Seems like yesterday I was preparing myself for Christmas Day 07 now I am looking @ Christmas 08 with 09 waving @ me…Nonetheless, I will enjoy EVERY moment of it because I know it won’t like any other I’ve experienced. All the craziness N’ cheer that is being expressed this time of the hear makes me smile @ times. THANK heavens I am done with all of my shopping (did that on the weekend) and I am left with a few odds and ends to tie up before tomorrow gets here. WHAT LAST MINUTE THINGS YOU ARE DOING BEFORE THE BIG DAY? I’ll start the day off by collecting my cakes N’ pies from my friend/mentor /former boss she makes some good shit, (I think she puts her undies in them), then I sort of have an interview (wish me luck) and later I have to take my room-mate to the airport so he can spend this holiday with his family. But the one thing I am looking forward to is the grocery shopping with noel. Even though he and I do this RELIGIOUSLY every Sunday, there is something special about us doing it today (I guess because he is preparing our entire meal for Christmas). Nevertheless, I can’t help realized how much my life has changed over the past year. This Christmas is going to be a taste of things to come as it will just be Noel and I celebrating together. Earlier this year I told myself that I wasn’t going to the traditional invite friends over thing…After last year’s NON-CELEBRATORY Christmas where NO one seemed interested in celebrating by showing up late (or not @ all), not bringing their ornament for the tree OR wasting my money that I spent so we could create memories, I DON’T SEE THE POINT. I know that I’ll have them all in my heart AND I will wear them in my spirit as I move throughout this day…SO LET ME TAKE THIS TIME TO WISH YOU A HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE & I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T FIND…

¿REAL MEN WEAR PINK...RIGHT?

Yesterday I decided to wear a pink colored shirt to work and I QUICKLY learned how ignorant the human mind can be. My co-worker (God bless her heart) decided to ask me a personal question. And her question to me was why I would wear a PINK colored shirt? My response was because I can…she then said that she doesn’t think a man should wear a shirt this color and if he does then he more than likely is GAY. When she said that I laughed because her logic was SO off center; how sad is that this way of thinking exist in this world huh? PITY…Then she proceeded to question MY sexuality by asking if I am gay, to which I asked her if she was interested? To which she said that she wasn’t because she doesn’t date within the working environment (NOT because she is a married woman), but because she doesn’t believe in cooking AND taking a dump in the same place. I TOTALLY agree with her on that sentiment; however I can’t help think how an article of clothing would suggest that I am a HOMOSEXUAL? So does this mean that MASCULINITY ≠ A PINKSHIRT? 

This proved to me that in today’s society we are WAY TOO consumed with MASCULINITY. I thought that ONLY beauty was in the eye of the beholder, I didn’t know that article of clothing made its way in there as well? This belief, this notion is NOTHING more than a perception that has NO result in anything other than our frames of reference. Hence the ENTIRE GENTRIFICATION comes down to image and NOTHING else? When are we going to learn that masculinity AND femininity are nothing more than a facade? I might hesitate to agree that sometimes we gay men and women causes persons like her to make assumptions about gender. I guess @ the end of the day I can say that she has PERFECTLY characterized what masculinity isn’t…Her take on what a man is about would be funny it weren’t SO scary. This lady has a son AND GOD only knows what he’ll grow to be, I can only hope that he doesn’t try to wear a pink shirt because it is OBVIOUS that his mother is wounded because she thinks that masculinity is something that a man wears. 

YES WE CAN!

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT WHEN YOU ‘COME OUT’ TO SOMEONE THEY HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS? FROM THE WHY TO THE HOW…BUT WHEN THAT ALL SETTLES THEY ARE SHOCKED TO FIND OUT THAT WE GAY MEN CAN HAVE SEX IN THE SAME POSITIONS HETEROS CAN…SO THIS BLOG ENTRY IS FOR THEM & THOUGH I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO POST EVERY POSITION THAT WE UTILIZE, THEY CAN FIND THE REST ON THE INTERNET. SO HERE THE THREE (3) MOST COMMONLY USED SEXUAL POSITIONS FOR GAY MEN:

 

STANDING – The standing positions are pleasurable and comfortable and give both partners a full opportunity for erotic involvement. Some are rather athletic and require practice, flexibility and strength. So here we have the WILLOWS BENT IN THE BREEZE. The receptive partner bends over, perhaps supported by a chair, table or bed, while his lover approaches from behind and penetrates him. The active lover can then lean over his partner and grasp something (the headboard, perhaps, or a doorknob) that will allow him harder, deeper thrusts. He can also reach around and stimulate his lover’s lingam or nipples. Kissing is difficult in this position, although ear nibbling and neck kissing are possible. 

 

SITTING – In the sitting position it’s possible to enjoy many variations on the theme. Employing different locations and items of furniture provides the opportunity for a wide variety of sensations to be experienced. In this position, the person underneath can, to some extent do the thrusting, but in most cases, it is the man on top who controls the action. The picture above depicts the receiving partner lowers himself on his partner's member while facing away, then seats himself in the manner of an emperor on a throne. This position can be the MOST pleasurable for both persons involved. 

 

LYING DOWN – This involves the passive lover lying on his stomach, perhaps supported in the loins by pillows so that his buttocks are raised. His lover drapes himself over him and penetration is achieved. This allows much room for variation, and changes of tempo of the sexual experience. So here we have the receptive partner lying on his back with his legs up (normally supported by the penetrator) so that his anus can be exposed for a deep felt penetration. This position is a favorite of mine because it allows for a variation of movements and angles; and this position somehow makes the thrust feel even better (if that were possible).

 

BUT ONCE A YEAR...

All over the world, there exists a simple principle that, when followed, has the power to end conflict AND expel strife. It is the Golden Rule, a key concept in many philosophies and spiritualities that asks us to DO UNTO OTHERS AS WE WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO US. Its meaning is clear: treat others only in ways that you would want to be treated. However, the golden rule is NOT always easy to follow. It can be a challenge to honor others as we wish to be honored. Yet, during this festive season we somehow…someway find the time to bestow gifts of LOVING kindness on our fellow man. I for one am willing to take ANY act of kindness when it is shown, but I can’t help but feel that we are a bit cheated when it is done but once a year. If only we lived like Christmas was EVERY day where our good thoughts AND well wishes were rooted in PURE compassion and we NOT feel compel to perform any specific act. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME…What happens to us when the decorations come down? Does the harmony and good-will disappear when the last drop of rum leaves the bottle? Why does the sweet sounds of laughter N’ happiness is like that cake crumb that is thrown in the trash? I guess I am asking questions that NO one cares to answer because we are all guilty of putting ourselves first AND NOT looking for opportunities to care for each other beyond this festive season. I mean SHOWING COMPASSION, BEING CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS, CARING FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE & GIVING GENEROUSLY ARE JUST SOME OF THE THINGS THAT MANKIND SHOULD ASPIRE TO BUT…We all know of the POSITIVE effect we can have on this world, yet we put on this farce EVERY season. I live my life thinking that…KINDNESS BEGETS KINDNESS & WE SHOULD PAY-IT-FORWARD NOT JUST ONCE A YEAR. IN REALITY WHAT WE HAVE ARE PERSONS THAT ARE TRYING TO BE A LIGHT BUT ONCE A YEAR…I GUESS THIS MEANS THAT THEY HAVE AN OUT FOR THE OTHER 50 OR SO WEEKS OF THE YEAR. NO MATTER WHO WE ARE OR WHAT WE DO WHEN WE DO IT, I HOPE THAT WE ALL DO WHAT OUR SOUL N’ HEART DICTATES…IT IS THE ONLY WAY WE CAN ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE THE PUREST EXPRESSION OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN. THIS WOULD MEAN THAT WE ARE LOOKING PAST OUR STATUS OF RICH/POOR, BLACK/WHITE, GAY/STRAIGHT & SO ON…CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WORLD THIS COULD BE IF WE GOT BENEATH THE SURFACE OF WHO WE ARE AS HUMANS BY MERELY ACTING HUMANLY TO OTHERS? WOULDN’T YOU RATHER SEE THE TRUE ESSENCE OF YOUR FELLOW MAN, THE RADIANCE OF HIS BEING & THE SPIRIT THAT LIVES WITHIN HIM ALL YEAR ROUND? SO AS WE CARVE THAT TURKEY & RAISE OUR COLLECTIVE GLASSES, MY HOPE N’ WISH THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON IS THAT WE REMEMBER THAT SO LITTLE OF WHO EACH OF US IS CAN’T BE CAPTURED DURING THIS TIME OF THE YEAR, & THAT THE THOUGHTS, FEARS, DESIRES & LONGINGS THAT ARE PART OF WHAT MAKES US WHOLE ARE GOING TO BE WITH US FOR A LIFETIME…CHRISTMAS IS BUT ONCE A YEAR, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE HAVE TO MAKE A SPECIAL EFFORT TO CARE FOR EACH OTHER DURING THIS TIME…DOES IT?

KILLING ME SOFTLY

Hip hop group The Fugees covered the song in 1996 on their album The Score, with Lauryn Hill singing the lead vocals. Their version became a massive hit reaching number two on the U.S. airplay chart, and had similar success in the UK, reaching number one and selling over a million copies, becoming 1996's best selling single. When this song came out I was just 18 years old and though I had an appreciation for it then, it in NO way compares to how I feel about this song today. The Fugees are what are known as REAL artist, persons that took their showcased it in a manner that very can do in the music industry today. I can remember the good feeling that came over when I first heard this song and that is still the case today, I hope this song does for you what it does for me.

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS...

After today I won’t get to see my supervisor until the NEXT YEAR, isn’t that WONDERFUL? Now while this festive season is intended to honor life’s more momentous occasions, I can’t help but cherish this gift that has come to me before Christmas Day; And I am sure that God AND his angels would MORE than rejoice along with me. This has been an interesting week @ work as I navigated through the mine field AND led my ass to safety (well @ least to work another week). Nonetheless, this week has been a good one because the B!TCH from hell has been in a good mood…SO good that she bought little tokens to work for my co-worker and I yesterday. Even Though they were just chocolates, it would be wrong of me NOT to recognize that it is the thought that counts AND NOT the person who is doing the thinking. I wonder if that’s her way of giving us a token for us doing a GREAT job this week (her words) in completing the company’s FIRST ever inventory exercise? She has even been pleasant and was ACTUALLY making small talk with plebeian while offering what appears to be a generous smile (I guess it really is Christmas). Whatever the reason for her mood, I know that I will TRULY feel in tune with life’s MOST profound simple joy from this day until the New Year. This feeling can best be described as the birth of newborn OR the triumphs we feel over defeat. This time is WORTHY of celebration (damn it…if only I drank)…But all in all I do wish her A HAPPY CHRISTMAS & A MERRY NEW YEAR…After all she is human even though she doesn’t act like it most of the time…DAMN THIS IS TURNING OUT TO BE A GREAT CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL…

IF ONLY YOU KNEW...

Sometimes, we may find ourselves wishing we knew what our lives are going to look like or what gifts and challenges are going to be presented to us in the coming months or years. We may want to know if the relationship we’re in now will go the distance or if our goals will be realized. Perhaps we feel like we need help making a decision and we want to know which choice will work out best. We may consult psychics, tarot cards, our dreams, and many other sources in the hopes of finding out what the future holds. Usually, at most, we may catch glimpses. And even though we think we would like to know the whole story in all its details, the truth is that we would probably be overwhelmed and exhausted if we knew everything that is going to happen to us. Just think of your life as you’ve lived it up to this point. If you are like most of us, you have probably done more and faced more than you could have ever imagined. If someone had told you as a child of all the jobs and relationships you would experience, along with each one’s inherent ups and downs, you would have become overwhelmed. With your head full of information about the future, you would have had a very hard time experiencing your life in the present moment, which is where everything actually happens. In many ways, not knowing what the future has in store brings out in us the qualities we need to grow. For example, it would have been difficult to commit yourself to certain people or projects if you knew they wouldn’t ultimately work out. Yet, it was through your commitment to see them through that you experienced the lessons you needed to grow. Looking back on your life, you would likely be hard pressed to say that anything in your past should not have happened. In fact, your most challenging experiences with their inevitable lessons may have ultimately brought you the greatest rewards. Not knowing the future keeps us just where we need to be…FULLY COMMITTED & IN THE PRESENT MOMENT…IF ONLY YOU KNEW…

IGNORANCE CAN BE BLISS

I’ve come to realize that as of late that IGNORANCE CAN BE BLISS. Though it can be a great benefit to know the tiniest details of events, both bitter and sweet, there are also times when knowing less about the future, our situations, and the world can be beneficial. I think I’ve become numb from all the pain that exists in this world and I’ve taken a step away from knowledge that will have a negative impact on me. When I buy the local papers or surf the internet I see the headlines but stay clear of them because I am tired of exposing myself to the realities of this world. CRAZY HUH? I’ve been writing about how we need acknowledge the world and it’s problems yet there are times that I choose to BLISSFULLY IGNORANT…Even when it comes to the personal lives of others, I’ve found that it is BETTER to not know certain things so that I don’t invest myself in their lives. I’ve found that humans are creatures of habit and we LOVE to bathe ourselves in the things that aren’t good for us and who am I to say that you are living your life in the wrong way? This BLISSFUL IGNORANCE is SO sweet that it can propel me forward because I don’t have all the information and I won’t feel compel to put myself in the position of helper (not that I don’t want to help) because others don’t need it OR me…Circumstances forced me to take a job that didn’t pay close to what I am worth and I entered my new situation with a bitter taste AND preconceived notions that has created the scenarios I work with that I call my manager. So I’ve decided that the less I know about her the more she can remain human to me (sounds crazy huh?). However, I’ve elected to experience this situation with NO expectations so that I can prevent myself from having any preset ideas and focus on my long term goals…I’VE COME TO SEE THAT SOMETIMES IN LIFE THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH AVOIDING TOO MUCH INFORMATION, PARTICUALRLY WHEN THE KNOWLEDGE ISN’T GOING TO SERVE YOU. I’VE FOUND THAT WHEN INFORMATION IS EMOTIONALLY DRAINING, IMPEDES MY PROGRESS, CAUSES DISTRESS OR ISN’T NECESSARY TO MY EXPERIENCE I WILL LET IS PASS ME BY…& SEE THAT THE BLISS OF IGNORANCE CAN SOMETIMES BE A GIFT…

THE RELATIONSHIP JOURNEY

Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don’t have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship. We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and take unique forms. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships…we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven’t found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order and, therefore, right now your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Maybe all this time has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven’t worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships. Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. The journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.

¿HAVE YOU EVER?

this is for those have...

Between the conscious and the unconscious

Unconsciously conscious

You wonder to and fro

Trying figure out what there is to know

In search of the illusive show

But then again what do I know…

About the hidden abyss?

Certainly you won’t find any bliss

Because it is hidden between your lips and a kiss

And your love is that song

Without hope of being heard

Now you are disturbed

Because love is NOT what you have

And you search the four corners of your mind

Seeking the memories that are hiding in plain sight

As you go on a merry-go-round

Feeling all tied N’ bound

As you love the memory of a memory

Sorry tis’ your story

There ain't no glory

In loving a love that isn’t there…

Have you ever?

© tgk

LIFE (WHAT DOES YOUR GUT SAY?)

Though the chaos going on in the world today is NOTHING new, things seem to be constantly spiraling out of control. And it is my belief that life is NO longer speaking to us in soft whispers BUT in bold declarations instead. As we gaze upon life in awe sometimes, how could we NOT be spinning around AND around? But my question to you is, DO WE ON SOME LEVEL ADORE LIFE THE WAY IT IS? DO WE IDOLIZE IT? DO WE EVEN COURT IT? There is NO doubt that ALL our senses are seduced by life itself, but I can’t help but wonder what our collective gut is telling us? Life teases us in one instance through the light of a child and then turns that light dark when some unforeseen negative element takes place. This element that is destroying us lives among the poor, as well as the rich, and appears in the faces of the young and the old. It is @ in ALL cities of the world, decorating skylines as well as landscapes. This element is THE ultimate shape shifter, that simple meal beloved by one person and an awesome testament of fine cuisine revered by another. This element knows NO bounds, and it is growing second by second. SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? LIFE IS CRUEL & OUR PURSUIT OF IT IS MOSTLY IN VAIN BECAUSE WE REACT RATHER THAN ANTICIPATE THE STRANGELY-FAMILIAR THINGS THAT TAKE PLACE. WE PRETEND AS IF WE HAVE NO IDEA THAT THIS OR THAT COULD HAPPEN WHEN WE FULLY KNOW BETTER. I AM GONNA KEEP ASKING WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET IT BECAUSE EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE WAITING FOR WAITING ON THEIR FELLOW MAN TO GET THINGS WHEN ALL WE NEED OURSELVES TO MAKE THINGS BETTER. AND THIS HOPELESSNESS THAT WE FEED OURSELVES ON A DAILY BASES IS ONLY GOING TO KEEP US TRAPPED & PIGEON HOLD AS LIFE SLOWLY PICKS US OFF ONE BY ONE…WHAT DOES YOUR GUT SAY NOW?

HOPELESS

HOPELESS is a song sang by R&B/soul musician Dionne Farris. Although she was never an official member of the band Arrested Development. She undoubtedly left her mark and this song showcases her vocals skills as she soothes N’ caresses the soul. It was written by Van Hunt for the Love Jones soundtrack and will ALWAYS be a favorite of mine.

WHATEVER YOU SELLING...

I
can’t help but feel SO sad
for them because here they are wielding N’ dealing trying their hardest to get MY sex; and I am NOT getting their sales pitch. First
and foremost they don’t ask if I am in a relationship (I guess that part does NOT matter) and I know that I could
stop them DEAD in their
tracks by mentioning Noel, but this is NOT about him. This simply is me not wanting anything from
them period. I mean even when I was in that place I wasn’t in that place. I
always saw my various sexual escapades as life changing…there was NEVER anything of me that was
invested in those men that I feel shame or desperate about; AND I can’t understand how OR why gay men would feel
satisfied with not being connected to what they really want.

I
feel so ashamed of the GAY community
because we are all about the flesh upon flesh…This EASY SEX is like a drug and every time we take a hit, we
spiral out of control only to be left feeling empty AND alone. When I went through this cycle, I knew why I was
doing it; but today it seems as if MOST gay
men are doing because it can be done. Sex is fun, but it can be SO much more if it is with someone
we can MORE than just sex
with. When are we going to STOP bathing OUR asses in this SH!T and wearing it like some cheap cologne? We F&CK each other like there is a fire sale AND one size fits all…

NO WONDER WE LIVE AS IF IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE GAY…WHEN
ARE WE GOING TO SEE THAT BY F&CKING EACH OTHER, WE ARE ONLY REINFORCING THE
STIGMATIZATION OF THE GAY IDENTITY? I GUESS THE SIMPLE THING TO DO IS TO
CONSIDER WHEN YOU GET HORNY & YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EASE THAT, WE NEED TO
THINK IF WE WANT A SERIES OF MEN THAT ARE GOING LAST ALL OF 5-10 MINUTES OR DO
WE WANT A SERIES OF 5-10 MINUTES WITH JUST ONE PERSON THAT IS ALL OUR OWN?
WHATEVER MOST OF US DECIDE, I KNOW WHICH SIDE OF THE PROBLEM I AM ON, SO AS YOU
GUYS KEEP SELLING I WILL REFUSE BECAUSE I AM STOCKED UP FOR LIFE WITH LOVE
& RESPECT FOR MYSELF…

YOUR BEST SEX...

...WAS WITH? YOU CAN TELL ME, I’LL NEVER TELL A SOUL…(^_^)

CALL IN GAY

Computers will turn off and bosses will be blown off as the homosexual community and their straight allies engage in a national gay rights boycott. Millions will not call in sick to work-they will call in gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender OR just friendly. On Dec. 10, participants in the DAY WITHOUT A GAY will join in a 24-hour nationwide strike and economic boycott to support civil rights for all Americans in the wake of the passage of Proposition 8, which amended California's constitution to ban same-sex marriage, similar to bans already in place in Arkansas, Florida and Arizona. As a community I feel that it is IMPORTANT that we show that this is an extreme priority that shouldn't be put on the back burner AND we are NOT going to sit around for the next 20 years…THE CHANGE HAS TO COME NOW…SO CALL IN GAY TODAY!!!

BLOG INTERROGATION

I'VE BEEN TAGGED...AGAIN & NOW IT IS MY TURN TO PASS IT ONE...HERE ARE THE RULES…ANSWER QUESTIONS WITH ONLY ONE WORD…THEN PASS ALONG TO 7 PEOPLE…

SHALLOTTE

XIVINRAH

TRU3LOGIC

NOTES2SELF-BY PHARAOH

PIMUSIQUE

SGL CAFÉ

CHUMA SPIRIT

Where is your cell phone? Desk

Where is your significant other? Bedroom

What's your hair color? Bald

Your mother? Strong

Your father? Who?

Your favorite thing? Living

Your dream last night? Nil

Your dream/goal? Happiness

The room you're in? Front

Your hobby? Blogging

Your fear? Nil

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Paradise

Where were you last night? Home

What you're not? Fake

One of your wish list items? Peace

Where you grew up? Bahamas

The last thing you did? Blog

What are you wearing? Undies

Your TV? On

Your pet? Died

Your computer? HP

Your mood? Happy

Missing someone? Nah

Your car? Toyota

Something you're not wearing? Pants

Favorite store? Adult

Your summer? Sweet

Love someone? Always

Your favorite color? Red

When is the last time you laughed? Today

Last time you cried? Wednesday

Are you a b*tch? Yes

Favorite position? Missionary

Favorite past time? Blogging

Are you a hater or a lover? Lover

Are you genuine or fake? Genuine

Any vices? Yes

Pro life or wire hanger? Life

Mccain or Obama? Obama

Pro plastic or natural? Natural

Dream job? Activist

JUST BLOG IT DOWN...

THIS BLOG ENTRY IS FOR PERSONS THAT ALWAYS TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY LIKE MY BLOG & WISHES THEY COULD DO ONE THEMSELVES...SO THIS IS ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THEM...Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story. Writing a blog to share with family or friends is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on your experiences while sharing your unique voice. We’ve all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we are longing to write down. Giving in to that urge can give you an outlet for purging any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings. Satisfying the need to tell your story is not predicated upon your writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail. Your memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, can give a person insight into their lives. Writing a blog can also help you understand your life experiences. And when you finish writing, you may be surprised at what you have accomplished. Your blog can encompass as much or as little of your life as you prefer. You may surprise yourself with new insights, or you may find yourself exploring your roots, your identity, and your future through your words. Allow your writing to guide you and write as truthfully as possible. Don’t worry about what others will think of your personal journey, your style of writing, or your words. Research has shown that writing a personal narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits. As you write, remember to have compassion for yourself, particularly when writing about traumatic events. Your writing may help family members know you better, or they may understand themselves more through reading about your experiences. More importantly, you are expressing yourself in a permanent way, giving a gift to yourself, and letting your voice be heard.

WARNING SIGNS

Just as the universe wants to provide for our needs, it also seeks to protect us from dangerous situations, destructive relationships AND even minor inconveniences. Frequently in our lives, perhaps everyday, we encounter red flags warning us of potential problems. We may not always recognize the signs. However, more often than not, we may choose to ignore our intuition when it tells us that SOMETHING JUST ISN’T RIGHT. Every day we are hearing stories of personal suffering AND loss that is further putting this world in a state of chaos. Living in communities where so many of us are losing our houses AND livelihoods it is tempting to minimize what is going on in the world; but that would be a GREAT mistake. By now we MUST realize that life is a domino effect AND what happens to my brothers N’ sisters down the street will undoubtedly hurt me. I LOVE how the world works in that we HAVE to deal with the things that we’ve tried NOT to see OR touch. BUT TELL ME THIS…HOW MUCH LONGER CAN THE WORLD SPIN WHEN THE RICH IS GETTING RICHER & THE POOR IS GETTING POORER? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THINGS BREAK & THE AVERAGE MAN ON THE STREETS CANNOT PAY HIS BILLS? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE GOVERNMENT CAN’T FIX THINGS? The time to panic is LONG gone AND I feel that it is OUR BEST INTEREST to get work because GOD is giving us ONE LAST CHANCE to get ourselves in order. It is blatantly OBVIOUS that over time, OUR unwillingness to acknowledge what we’ve allowed to take place has led us to become a world filled with numbness. Our internal systems are clogged with the demons we ourselves created (weird huh?) The scales of life are devalued because this world is filled with persons that have become resistant to the plight of others. Therefore if we are to turn things around, we need to realize that the ONLY gateway is compassion towards each other AND rolling up OUR sleeves because there is work that has to be done…RED FLAGS OFTEN POP UP HERE N’ THERE URGING US TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT, LISTEN & RECONSIDER OUR PATH…NOW WE HAVE NO CHOICE FOR WE’VE BEEN STOPPED DEAD IN OUR TRACKS; NOW OUR BEST PATH LIES WHERE? I CAN GIVE MANY ANSWERS, BUT IT IS IMPORTANT FOR US TO REMEMBER THAT WE WERE NOT BORN WITH INSTRUCTION MANUALS & THAT LEARNING LESSONS IS A LIFELONG JOURNEY…SO @ THE END OF THE DAY WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND & ACCEPT EACH OTHER ON THIS PLANET…FROM THE JANITOR TO THE CEO WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT NONE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OTHER. WE NEED TO HONOR & VALUE THE HUMAN CONDITION SO WE CAN EXPERIENCE & FEEL LIFE FULLY & COMPLETELY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW GOD INTENDED THINGS TO BE…SO WHEN WE HEAR THE STORIES OF OTHERS THAT ARE SUFFERING, OUR HEARTS N’ SOULS SHOULD RESONATE WITH UNDERSTANDING N’ COMPASSION & WE COULD STOP IGNORING THE WARNING THE SIGNS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL OF US…