I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Thursday, April 30, 2009


There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,

Who never did,

Who won't anymore...

And who always will…

So, don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009



Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It’s a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave

Lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We’ll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in the raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave, may God send His angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it’s something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they’re falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love will come to save us
If we’ll only call
He will ask nothing of us
But demand we give our all

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It’s worth fighting for

Monday, April 27, 2009


Beatrice Arthur, an icon of '70s TV as the star of Maude, and then one of the staples of '80s TV as one of the leads in The Golden Girls, has died at age 86. A family spokesman told AP the Emmy and Tony Award winner had cancer, and died peacefully at her home in Los Angeles. 

Arthur's best-known roles came in popular sitcoms that didn't shy away from the serious issues of the day. On Maude, which aired from 1972-1978, Arthur's pantsuit-wearing, feminist title character had an abortion, which resulted in a flurry of viewer protests. Arthur scored five Emmy nominations and one win for the role. The ribald, hilarious Golden Girls -- which over seven seasons tackled hot-button issues such as menopause, homophobia, suicide, and racism -- found Arthur playing gruff, wisecrack-spewing divorcée Dorothy Zbornak, who shared a Miami home with her mother and two loopy friends. Arthur picked up four more Emmy nods and one win as Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series for the role.

Earlier in her career, Arthur tasted success on Broadway and on the big screen, even winning a Tony Award for her roles as Vera Charles, formidable pal of Angela Lansbury's title character in Mame. She would go on to play the same role in the musical's big-screen adaptation, though in that instance opposite Lucille Ball.

After leaving "The Golden Girls" in 1992, the acclaimed actress guest-starred on "Malcolm in the Middle" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and in 2005 appeared at the Comedy Central roast of Pamela Anderson, delivering a deadpan reading of excerpts from the blond bombshell’s book "Star: The Novel," in which Anderson provides her fans with anal sex tips. Arthur would also return to the stage and gain another Tony nod for "Bea Arthur on Broadway: Just Between Friends," a personal collection of stories and songs. In 2008 Arthur was inducted into the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Hall of Fame. Twice married, Arthur is survived by her two adopted sons Matthew and Daniel Saks. But in fact, she was a mother to many. Ask any of the "Daughters of Dorothy" all around the world.

For gays and lesbians, Arthur leaves behind a legacy as a beloved icon, perhaps best remembered as Dorothy on The Golden Girls, the acerbic and stoic schoolteacher who cared for her elderly mother with the help of her close friends. 

While very much saddened by this late news, I find comfort in the thought that Getty is now with open arms and a "Come here, pussycat," welcoming her TV daughter into the great lanai in the sky. 

Bea Arthur will continue to live on in timeless "Golden Girls” episodes that have made many of us laugh till we cried. But we all have our favorite Dorothy moments. What’s yours?

Sunday, April 26, 2009


WHAT IS GOD…A SUPREME FIGURE KEEPING SCORE? THE SALVATION YOU SEEK WITH FEAR & TREMBLING? THE WORLD’S GREATEST THOUGHT? THE ELEMENT THAT MAKES US HUMAN? A DISTORTED ILLUSION? THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF MAN? THE ANSWER TO THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS? Depend on who you ask, you’d get a series of responses, after all the world out there is nothing but a mirror of our beliefs…right? So it stands reason that if one changes his/her beliefs that their world would reflect the change…right? So let’s go the beginning…before all things physical could be made manifest into form there was CONSCIOUSNESS; and this directed light into place known as the universe. From this light, comes everything we experience as OUR reality. This reality has taught us that everything in the universe fits into four categories: GRAVITY, ELECTROMAGNETISM, STRONG & WEAK FORCES. However, ELECTROMAGNETISM (light) is the one we see and we see only see a fraction of it. This within itself presents a problem because we can only consider so much about what believe and it seems that we keep waiting for an answer about WHO IS GOD, when GOD doesn’t answer because GOD just is. The concept of GOD in my opinion goes like this…90% of the universe appears to be empty space, with only 10% (or less) being light the OBVIOUS question would be what is the 90% of space made up of? We considered various names for it, but if we define it by giving it a name, aren’t we just putting limit on something that goes beyond what we can see OR believe? Think about how the objects we see are nothing more than light, moved through frequencies into the lens of the eye and onto the back of the brain. Doesn’t this make you wonder if the brain is even seeing anything @ all? From where I am sitting this says to me that the world is not outside us, but within us…Thus the concept of GOD depends on what we may OR may not see…Hence the problem because how can one connect with something they can’t see? I say we can through REVOLUTION...however, this can ONLY HAPPEN IF & WHEN WE RESIST THE EGO, THE SELF-CENTERED NATURE THAT WANTS TO REACT, SCREAM, CHEAT, YELL, WORRY & ABUSE & CONNECT OUR SOULS TO GOD. I believe that if we are to KNOW if GOD exists or not, we need to try to TALK to GOD from OUR hearts and see if we can finally see…This would mean that we do away with the notion that those who QUESTIONS GOD’S exist aren’t on the same path as those that believe despite not knowing for sure. Some chooses to believe in the 90% while others simply want to see more. Sure the skeptics can come across as aggressive AND offensive, but we all live in a world where NO one can say they are 100% right and the other is 100% wrong. WHAT EGOS WE HUMANS HAVE TO INSIST OTHERWISE! How foolish is it to dispute the existence of GOD while we empower our egos AND destroying ourselves? We as humans looked to OUR mortal minds for answers and COMPLETELY forgot the TRUTH about our being; and if we are to awaken from our FALSE beliefs, we can effectively reflect WHO GOD REALLY IS…After all, we aren’t just human beings, but GOD being human…I think that the POPULAR RELIGIOUS version of GOD is what keeps us from finding the GOD in ourselves…AREN’T WE OFFENDING EACH OTHER BY NOT FIND GOD IN EACH OTHER BEFORE WE CAST OUR NETS IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD? I FOR ONE FIND IT AMAZING HOW THIS STORY OF BELIEF BETWEEN US & GOD STARTS WITH US & IT’LL END THAT SAME WAY…NOW IF ONLY WE COULD STOP SEEKING & LET THE OBVIOUS ANSWERS FIND EACH ONE OF US…

Saturday, April 25, 2009



WHY is the first solo single by the Scottish singer Annie Lennox, released in 1992. It was taken from her debut solo album Diva and reached no.5 in the United Kingdom and number thirty-four on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. I CHOSE THIS SONG BECAUSE THE ARTIST IS SUCH A GAY ICON & THIS SONG OF HERS MADE ME ASKED WHY? 

ONE OF US is a song written by Eric Bazilian (of The Hooters) and originally released by Joan Osborne. Released in March 1995 on the album Relish and produced by Rick Chertoff, it became a top 40 hit in November of that year. The song deals with various aspects of belief in God by asking questions inviting the listener to consider how they might relate to God, such as "Would you call [God's name] to his face?" or "Would you want to see [God's face] if seeing meant that you would have to believe [in theological concepts]?" THIS IS SO PERFECT GIVEN MY THEME FOR TODAY. OF COURSE MANY OF US WOULD THINK ABOUT THE MESSAGE & THEME, BUT HOW MANY OF US WOULD TRY TO ANSWER THE QUESTION PRESENTED? 

BEAUTIFUL is a song written and produced by Linda Perry and recorded by American singer-songwriter Christina Aguilera for her second studio album, Stripped (2002). It is a cello-driven, classically-flavored ballad in which its protagonist deals with hurtful statements made against her that cause her to feel insecure and have low self-esteem. She does not let other people's negativity get the best of her. It was released as the album's second single in late 2002 and reached number one in several countries. The song earned her a Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance. I CHOSE THIS SONG BECAUSE SO MANY OF US STILL DON’T KNOW WE ARE BEAUTIFUL & WE DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH AS A RESULT…

Friday, April 24, 2009


Strangely strange how the world of you-man-ity
And apathy and psychopathy
Have de-you-manized him and me
From a life that is free
And I for one can see
If we don't learn to agree
Will get even closer to a calamity
That leads to mass insanity
See these they had no fight
They gave in their plight
And I with all my might
I have no insight
Cause I can’t see the light
All I feel is fright
As my chest gets so tight
And tears cloud my vision as I write…
Transparency of time and space
Well now that's another chase
And I hope that with God’s grace
He wraps him in a warm embrace
And wipes the tears from his face
That leads a trace
To the disgrace
That erased
You from your peaceful place…
© tgk

Thursday, April 23, 2009


A few weeks ago I was doing my daily blog reading and I came upon a blog that SHOCKED ME! THEGAYTE-KEEPER along with a few other bloggers was given a pat on the back for the job we do in the online world of blogging. This was such a nice sentiment to me because this let me know that I am one of many and that I am NOT alone in bringing humanity to the forefront for all to read…SO THANK YOU DARIAN AARON FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THOSE THAT STAND @ THE VARIOUS GATES OF THIS WORLD…

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


In some ways, the earth is like a well-meaning mom, providing healthy and important stuff like air, water, and living things. And in return we are often not as grateful as we could be. But Earth Day is our chance to show our appreciation for the planet, so how about we NOT only acknowledge OUR mother (EARTH) on this day & CELEBRATE EARTH DAY EVERYDAY?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


AHHHH, THE MAGIC OF THE INTERNET…I made plans to meet Sharon aka kinshar on my trip to Philly. Since this was my last day there I wanted to @ least get out of the hotel and have some fun; my interview was done the day I arrived and we were going to spend the entire day together…SO MUCH FOR THAT THEORY! Miss Sharon was 5 hours late, I was hungry as hell and I thought we weren’t going to meet anymore. But as luck would have it, not even the bad weather and her feeling sick could keep her away…guess I am THAT special (and not yellow bus special either). I am talking about one in 6 billion special (that’s how many persons in the world right?) Nonetheless, when she got there she was just like I imagined she’d be…WARM, CRAZY N’ REAL…THANK GOD BECAUSE THAT MEANT I HAD COMPANY…Moreover, she brought extras with her, this lady has a personality that can’t be matched anywhere AND she made Noel and I both feel welcome…SO HERE ARE A FEW PIX OF OUR TIME TOGETHER…

Monday, April 20, 2009


So on April 8th 2009 I received the following email in reference to the employment prospect that was presented to me…Kishna: I am securing how these arrangement are to be made but I wanted to check your availability to fly into Philadelphia International Airport on Tuesday, April 14th for an early afternoon meeting with SweRaCom?  Is this possible? Of course you know that I took this chance and I was in Philly last week Monday for this interview. Noel accompanied me on this trip which marked for first time flying together. I would have to say this was one for the record books…
  1. When we got to the airport we had to change airlines because the current one we booked our flights on were running an hour and thirty minutes late and that mean we would be able to catch our connecting flight to Philadelphia.

  2. After sorting that out, we checked security and @ the screening process we found out that our liquids (cologne, mouth wash, eye drops etc.) had to placed in a baggie for safe keeping and they could NOT be taken on the plane with us.

  3. So I had to run back take them to be checked in and return to the security screening.

  4. It was then I discovered that I misplaced my ticket and the screening officer had to get me a new one.

  5. After that got sorted out, we had to wait on the line for @ least thirty minutes to clear US Customs

  6. After that we had to clear another screening process which had us taking off our shoes (the first screening didn’t ask for that) and I thoughts of YES, we didn’t have to through that process was met with a NO I was wrong.

  7. Now dealing with others for what seemed like forever, I had to get something to eat.

  8. So we went to a place called the Café In The Clouds which was a mistake…not only did the food tasted horrible, it was expensive as hell.


  10. After about an hour or so we were called for our plane and on my way there I was pulled over for a random search to which Noel and I thought was racial profiling because we were the only two blacks on the plane and we were stopped…guess we are the only ones that do illegal stuff…BUT HEY I FORGAVE ALL THAT STUFF BECAUSE I WAS ON MY WAY TO MEET MY DESTINY IN PHILLY!

    Now Philly was the better part of the trip (I suppose I was in better spirits), but this is where things let me know that when you make plans, God always have a say in how things take place. I TRUSTED my life’s rhythm to this point and I wasn’t about to start doubting it now. Being in control led me to feel as if I can take care of everything myself…I had a false sense of security for many years living in the Bahamas that kept the natural process of things @ bay…And by me letting go a few months back, I opened myself to the wonder this trip had to offer…Only I didn’t know how things weren’t going according to my plan…
    1. After the two hour direct flight to Philly we had the task of find our bag which took a minute or twenty.

    2. We were greeted by the VERY cold weather that was waiting for us, which wasn’t that bad because we prepped for it.

    3. Called the hotel and waited for the shuttle.

    4. Got to the Aloft Hotel which was LOVELY and the front desk lady was like so you are Mr. Kishna Carey, please give Ms. Carolyn a call (she is the lady that found my resume on career builder).

    5. So getting to our room, we decided that we need something to eat because it was late afternoon and the tummy needed attention

    6. To the front desk I went and the lady told me that some gentleman was asking for me saying, THAT HE WANTED TO KNOW IF I WAS THERE BECAUSE HE IS INTERVIEWING ME & HE THINKS HE FOUND HIS GUY.

    7. Now @ this point I am jumping up and down because I saw him outside…I saw the man that destiny told me that I would be working with.

    8. He came inside and the front desk lady told him that she found me and @ that point I introduced myself to him and shook his hand.

    9. It was @ this time he asked if I’d eaten and I was like NO…and he invited me to dinner AND the interview.

    10. Now picture this (damn I feel like Sophia) I planned to buy a nice suit so that I can be all ready for this interview the NEXT day @ 2pm. I didn’t want to purchase one here because they are crazy expensive and NOT worth it…Nonetheless, what choice did I have? We met about 8:30 or so and after talking to him (the CFO) and the CEO for @ least two hours (my new record for an interview). After the interview I was asked, HOW DID I THINK IT WENT? I was like this a VERY good interview and I was told that it was…

    After taking my chance for a better life for myself by going to Philly for this interview, one thing stood out for me and that was when I was told that it is NICE to meet the man behind the resume. Even more so, it was SO self-effacing to be told that the ONE thing they look for in an employee is someone that shows HUMILITY and that was evident from the moment we shook hands @ the front desk. And it was @ this time that my heart became so full because finally someone saw me AND wanted to value my worth not only as an employee, but as a person as well…The moment I got the e-mail that started this process, I knew that this job would be mine and as I sit here and write this today, I draw STRENGTH from the POSITIVE energy from each and everyone of you here in the BLOGOSPHERE…WATCH DESTINY & ME WALK HAND IN HAND AS I TAKE THE PLACE THAT WAS BEING PREPARED FOR ME IN THIS WORLD @ THIS MOMENT IN TIME…

    Sunday, April 19, 2009


    Because religion is mostly UNDEMOCRATIC, OPPRESSIVE and RIDICULOUS in their dealings, I thought it would be a good idea to present THE GAY COMMANDMENTS to you. We are a community that is diverse in race, ethnicity, culture, social-economical backgrounds, however we lack a unifying set of values. According to some people, without a written set of principles we’d have no moral center and therefore run amok. 

    1. THOU SHALL KNOW THYSELF. Too many of us don’t know the first thing about being gay. Moreover, we treat our sexuality as if it is a lifestyle and that IRRITATES me to no end. When you know who you are, you can RESPECT yourself and CELEBRATE your sexuality by educating yourself, participating in the political process, socializing responsibly AND raising the bar for what it means to be a descent person.  
    2. THOU SHALL RE-EVALUATE THY BELIEFS. Just because your parents had a certain faith or political party doesn’t mean you must automatically carrying on these traditions and beliefs. Religious and political affiliations are not genetically inherited. Humankind has free will, which means the ability to think critically and chose a religion (or none at all) or political party (or none at all), which best serves your interests.  
    3. THOU SHALL POT PRACTICE RACISM, MISOGYNY or GENERAL BIGOTRY. We are one of the most persecuted and maligned groups in the history of humankind. So it makes absolutely no sense that we should be discriminating against other minority groups. It’s common sense. Nothing is to be gained by further alienating ourselves. Celebrate diversity by showing solidarity. 
    4. THOU SHALL LIVE OUTSIDE THE WALLS OF MAN TOWN. We live in a rich, diverse world full of different things to experience. Being gay is only one part of the human experience. So I encourage everyone to step outside their comfort zone, even it means leaving the friendly confines of boy ville. 
    5. THOU SHALL RE-DEFINE FABULOUS. Too much time, energy and television time is wasted on the pursuit of fabulousness. These endeavors are focused solely on the superficial: makeovers, telling people what not to wear, redecorating. Which are all good things but being fabulous is so much more…isn’t it? Here’s an idea: Instead of focusing on ever-changing artifice, how about trying to be a well-rounded human being?  
    6. THOU SHALL NOT WORSHIP FALSE IDOLS. Why is so much attention lavished on those who contribute nothing to society? Sure, Beyonce’s dance moves contribute to our economy in some small way. But it’s not a cure for HIV/AIDS. If you want some idols to worship, see the First Commandment. 
    7. THOU SHALL NOT BE THE EPITOME OF BEING GAY. I know that many of us are out of the closet and are eager to tell the whole world you like it in the ass; and what better way to do that by being a 24-Hour homosexual?  PLEASE, DON’T! You’re gay, we get it. I am not saying that we should hide, but we don’t’ need to see our sexuality from space… 
    8. THOU SHALL KEEP THYSELF HEALTHY. It is a MUST that we gay men take care of ourselves and get tested for various sexually transmitted diseases out there. Going to our church (the gym) is all fine, but…Our bodies are the testimony of the first creation of art and we should wear as if we THE result of God’s fine art. We are the TRUE sense of freedom, but we diminish that by using AND abusing each other.  
    9. THOU SHALL DO AWAY WITH LABELS. This top/bottom, gay/straight, feminine/masculine makes NO sense @ all. Why put labels on ourselves just so that we can find some sort of normalcy? Aren’t we all God’s children, isn’t that enough? All constraints simply do is strip away our individuality, and separate us from one another causing wide-spread lack of respect. But what’s even more unfortunate is that many of us never ask, WHY CAN’T I JUST BE ME? And unfortunately, we will never obtain a sense of community and togetherness without more self-thinking individuals.  
    10. THOU SHALL LOVE THYSELF ABOVE ALL ELSE. Can you imagine if we homosexuals had a LOVE for ourselves that couldn’t be measured? Imagine how the words GAY COMMUNITY could finally have some meaning OR watch how HOMOPHOBIA would loose its sting because words can’t abuse us anymore. Can you imagine what would happen to the rate of HIV? I know I do and if we can find a way to starting LOVING who we are today; these commandments would serve their purpose.  

      Saturday, April 18, 2009


      BACK AT ONE is the title of a song written and recorded by R&B singer Brian McKnight. Released as a single in 1999 from his album of the same name, releasing it in August of that year as the album's first single. McKnight's version was a #2 pop hit, spending eight weeks at that position on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 charts. Later that same year, country music singer Mark Wills released a cover version of the song, and reached #2 on the country singles charts with it. Whenever I hear this song and watch the video, I can’t help but echo it’s sentiments in my heart.

      Friday, April 17, 2009


      The Day of Silence is the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network's annual day of action to protest the bullying and harassment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ). On this day students take a day-long vow of silence to symbolically represent the silencing of LGBTQ students and their supporters. This event takes place at college, high school, and middle school campuses. In some cases there are elementary school participants. On the appointed day, students maintain verbal silence either for the entire day or a portion of the day, such as during the lunch break. During their period of silence, participating students may hand out printed cards explaining the nature of their protest. Some school organizers create or purchase pins or stickers to put on lockers and t-shirts. Others dress in all black, with rainbow ribbons or gags to emphasize the cause and their presence. The silence ends with a "breaking the silence" event in which students participate in activism and education. LET US PUT AN END TO BULLYING & HARASSMENT OF LGBTQ PERSONS…

      Thursday, April 16, 2009


      …BY GOD, THE UNIVERSE TOLD ME SO…ON MARCH 26, 2009 I RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING E-MAIL: Kishna: I saw your resume on CareerBuilder and I’m very interested in speaking with you regarding a Direct Hire Accounting opportunity with an international company.  Even though I am located in the United States, this position is located in Bermuda.  Based upon your objective and background, it is a position I believe you will have great interest in.  As soon as we connect 'live', I will be able to share specific job details. This would require a re-location.   My contact information is listed below.  I will be in my office all day tomorrow from 8:00AM until 5:00PM EST.  Hope to talk with you soon! Suffice to say I was a bit hesitant to take this e-mail seriously because when I thought about the odds of it being legit I was quick to dismiss it. But of course I decided to @ least find out what this was all about and I am SO glad I did…I came upon the opportunity that I’ve been waiting for my entire professional life AND I realized that ALL roads led me here…I IMMEDIATELY remembered something I read somewhere that said, HUMAN GREATNESS IS MEASURED BY THE DIFFICULTIES THROUGH WHICH A PERSON PASSES WHILE REMAINING STANDING…Lord knows that I wanted to just fall when I thought about the things I dealt with in my past as far as employment is concerned, but I couldn’t…I ALWAYS knew that something GREAT was waiting for me and all I have to do is be still N’ wait…This one e-mail made me see that if didn’t EXERT myself mentally, nature will be hard on me. If I didn’t accept suffering on my path, I will be resistant to life...I now see that if I didn’t STRETCH my life and walk away from my last place of employment, I would be stuck in a rut. And lord knows that for more than a decade I’ve practice being uncomfortable AND have taken myself to edge of resilience, but now…I move into the thrill of my destiny…I NOW HEAR MY TRUE VOICE ECHO IN THE HALLS OF MY MIND BECAUSE AS LIFE MOVED FROM DAY TO DAY, I TOLD MYSELF TO BUILD SOMETHING WITH THE STONES LIFE GAVE ME. NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT…


      Wednesday, April 15, 2009


      There is a thin line between homophobia AND acceptance even though most people NEVER try to find that line, it is there…I say that we have to FIGHT for our rights and SAME SEX KISS DAY is all about having fun while making a statement, SO PUCKER UP TO THAT SAME-SEX INDIVIDUAL NEAR YOU & ENJOY THE DAY…BUT BEFORE YOU DO PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING:

      1. GET YOUR LIPS IN PROPER KISSING ORDER. The most kissable lips are smooth and sweet, not dry, chapped and tense. Here are the basics:

        • Exfoliate your lips with sugar to make them soft.

        • Moisturize your lips to keep them soft.

        • Relax your lips by parting them ever so slightly.

      2.  LOOK INVITING & APPROACHABLE! You might not realize that you've giving off a "leave me alone" vibe, so when you see same-sex individual uncross those arms, keep your hands away from your face, make eye contact, and smile.

      3. BREAK THE TOUCH BARRIER. Touch the person lightly on the arm or shoulder when you're talking. Just make it a quick, innocent touch and don't make a big deal out of it. But if you feel you must holding hands is also a GREAT way to break the touch barrier. After you’ve done that and everything is going well, try kissing the person on the cheek. If you find your lips near their ear (like if you're hugging someone from behind, or whispering something to them) go in for a gentle kiss on the cheek and see how they respond.

      4. LOOK @ THEIR LIPS. Make eye contact and then move your gaze briefly down to the person's lips. Then move your eyes back up to meet theirs and smile demurely. You don't have to be really obvious about it. Many people will take the hint, especially if they've read one of the many articles that list this as a sign that a person wants to kiss or be kissed.

      5. APPROACH FOR THE KISS. Depending on your starting position you may need only to turn your head, or you may need to lean in a bit. You may want to use your hands to gently urge your partner’s body or head into position—you just want to guide his or her movement a little, you don’t want to forcibly move any part of his or her body or hold your partner in an uncomfortable position—but in general you just want to position yourself correctly and let your partner meet you. As you near your partner’s lips, maintain eye contact. 

      Tuesday, April 14, 2009


      Swimming in shallow water,
      Riding waves near life’s shore,
      My head leans toward the horizon,
      Because I want so much more.
      And I spy an island
      Wait- an archipelago,
      That appears to be so inviting,
      As I drift to and fro.
      The trees are luscious green,
      The waves roll gently on shore,
      And I can’t help but long,
      Because I want so much more.
      The distance seems so short,
      The water seems so blue,
      Not this sea green aqua,
      That I am wading through.
      And the sun shines so givingly,
      Upon its gleaming shore,
      And I get hungry with anticipation,
      Because I want so much more.
      They would hardly notice my absence,
      Never miss me at all,
      If I disappeared for a moment,
      To seek what has enthralled.
      And if I chose to stay,
      Who could ever blame me for?
      Wanting to get away,
      Because I wanted so much more…

      Monday, April 13, 2009


      Taking the time to consider what it is about your passion that keeps you engaged, what allows you to become more conscious of the TRUE nature of your delight? I read somewhere that knowing what drives us gives us insight into what feeds our spirits and helps us learn how to maintain ourselves. So by recognizing what drives you today, I feel that you would throw yourself into it with more awareness as it inspires AND cultivate a GREATER zeal for living fully…SO CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT IGNITES YOUR PASSION?

      Sunday, April 12, 2009


      According to Christian principle, HOMOSEXUALITY is NOT only a sin; it is an ABOMINATION. Embedded in the teachings of most narrow Christian theologian is the notion that God grades sin. Sin, though it maybe, it seems okay from most of their point of view to fornicate and have adulterous relationships as long as they are heterosexual in nature. After all, that would mean that we GAY and LESBIAN folks are only sinners because we have sex with each other? If ONLY I could ACCEPT the precept that HOMOSEXUALITY is a sin…How could I? I only realize that I was different @ the age of 12; and during my teenage life, I had girlfriends because it was the thing to do. I was merely being ACCEPTED. So I tried to have sex as much as I can for bragging rights, which turns out to be a smokescreen for MY sexuality. My closely guarded secret however, was that I was much more sexually attracted to boys who were just as virile as me. So coming from a Christian home guided by Christian principles, that govern the GOOD catholic boy I was, I often wondered why GOD would allow this to happen to me? I had tried prayer and all sorts of self-imagery techniques in failed attempts to be like other so called straight boys. So HOMOSEXUALITY in my opinion is NOT a matter of lifestyle choice anymore than those who fornicate OR commit adultery. IT IS WHO WE ARE…Hence the suggestion that I am wrong says that there is a misunderstanding of the nature of the true HOMOSEXUAL. Moreover, who would choose such a lifestyle in order to be ridiculed AND ostracized by society? I know there are persons on this planet that do some STRANGE things, but…I don’t know about you, but I feel that years from now science will trump the Christian philosophy AND prove that HOMOSEXUALITY is indeed REAL and NOT some phantom in our minds. We need to put that bible aside AND realize that there are degrees of sexuality. For all intents and purposes the majority of people are heterosexual, but a significant a lot of us vary within that realm. And MANY of them are unhappy, so it make PERFECT sense why they would want us to feel that way as well…So while the church has historically served to foster moral balance in society, it has always lagged behind progressive social and scientific thinking. AS A RESULT I SAY WE PAY NO ATTENTION TO PERSONS THAT WHO POINTS OUT THAT THERE IS A GROUP OF PERSONS THAT CAN BE SAVED WITH GOD’S HELP IF THEY ABANDON THE SINFUL LIFE OF HOMOSEXUALITY. ISN’T MORALITY DYNAMIC? AND FROM AN ANATOMICAL STANDPOINT, IF THEY ARE THROWING STONES BECAUSE THEY FEEL THAT ANAL INTERCOURSE IS AN ABOMINATION BECAUSE IT INVOLVES PENILE PENETRATION OF THE ANUS WHICH CONTAINS FECES…TELL ME DOESN’T A VAGINA CONTAIN URINE & BLOOD? SO I SAY PICK YOUR POISON, BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO PREFER HETEROSEXUALITY, MAKE SURE THAT YOUR SCHIZOID ATTITUDE DOESN’T SCREW UP THE LIVES OF OTHERS THAT CHOOSE TO EMBRACE THEIR HOMOSEXUALITY…

      Saturday, April 11, 2009


      WHEN YOU BELIEVE is an Academy Award-winning song composed by Stephen Schwartz for the DreamWorks animated feature The Prince of Egypt. A pop version of "When You Believe" was produced as a single with additional music by writer-producer Babyface for the film's soundtrack album. It was the main theme of the film and was released as a single by American singers Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey as the soundtrack's first single. WHEN YOU BELIEVE won the 1999 Academy Award for "Best Original Song" and was nominated for a Golden Globes for "Best Original Song". It also received a Golden Satellite Award nomination for "Best Original Song in a Motion Picture". It was nominated for the 2000 Grammy Award for "Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals". I posted this video because of the current events in my life and how quickly they can turn around. This song made me realize how tough times can make you question YOUR faith when love AND hope fails to take us the next level of life. But life has shown me that though prayers seem to go unanswered, THERE CAN BE MIRACLES WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN GOD. So I hope as you listen to this song, you realize that your miracle is closer than you think…

      Friday, April 10, 2009


      I found this blog entry and thought that it was something worth posting again. I don’t know who the author is but there are some sage words that stuck with me and I hope it stays with you as well…If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

      • Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults isn’t really important.

      • Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

      • If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

      • Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

      • You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

      • Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

      • Q. What keeps a relationship strong? Answer: Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email.

      • Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another.

      • Learn each others family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

      • Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion.

      • Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.

      • Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

      • The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

      Wednesday, April 8, 2009

      (LIVE) JUS’ BREATHE...

      It is said that OUR BREATH IS A GREAT INDICATOR OF WHO WE ARE @ THIS MOMENT IN TIME. Our breathing reflects how we hold ourselves, how much tension we have AND how open we are to experiences N’ feelings. So I’ve often wonder, why so many of us allow past emotional  N’ physical influences that affect us to the extent  that they create  restrictive patterns which hold us back and result in the tightening of  our bellies and chests? This ONLY limits the capacity of breath we take in. It is a FACT that as long life continues to happen to us AND the longer we live, the deeper breaths we MUST take in. After all, breathing is ESSENTIAL for physical health, strength, depth of feeling AND mental alertness…isn’t it? Being CREATURES OF HABIT, we NATURALLY gravitate towards what is familiar N’ safe even if it might not be the best for us…isn’t it time to JUS’ BREATHE? So how about breathing so you can shift your life? When you breathe, you will notice that colors are brighter, that you have more energy, have more confidence AND are more excited about life…Even though it is HARD @ times, I breathe because I see life’s difficulties as OPPORTUNITIES to be our best selves, hone our skills AND rise to the occasion…SO F&CKING LIVE PEOPLE, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE & KNOW THAT THE UNIVERSE WORKS IN PERFECT ORDER & IT WILL ORCHESTRATE THE RIGHT OUTCOME! SO EXHALE, RELEASE ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER…KNOW THAT WITH EVERY CALMING BREATH, YOU CAN FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT MATTER MOST & CENTER OURSELVES…& IT IS ONLY THEN WE CAN RISE TO ANY OCCASION, SO LIVE…JUS’ BREATHE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT…

      Tuesday, April 7, 2009


      Good oral sex can make the difference between a hot and fun oral romp and an awkward ten minutes that leaves you with a pain in the neck. While it’s true that most of us are just excited to be receiving oral sex and may not care so much about the position, for oral sex lovers (both the giving and receiving kind) changing up the position can also change the experience. Positions may give either or both partners more access to touching body parts and certain positions easily highlight the power dynamic potential of oral sex.

      ON THE KNEES: This classic position (well classic in porn anyway) can evoke the power dynamics in oral sex well. Benefits of this position are the visuals, the fact that the giving partner may be able to use their hands, as well as being a position that doesn’t require a lot of room and can be gotten into and out of relatively quickly. The drawback is that it’s hard on the knees (a pillow under them helps a bit) and it can be hard on the neck as well.

      BETWEEN THE LEGS: A much more comfortable position than being on your knees, in this common position the receiving partner lies on the back with the giver further down between their legs. The receiving partner can also turn on their side, and this may be even more comfortable for a giving partner who has neck problems.

      SITTING ON THE FACE: If you’re prone to giggling this may not be the oral sex position for you. Otherwise this position can work well. It’s great if the giver has any mobility restrictions or fatigues easily, and it also provides a lot of dominance/submission potential. The receiver can sit over the givers face either crouching or with their shins on the bed, and can even lean forward and support their own upper body with their hands (so they’re kind of in a rear entry position).


      Monday, April 6, 2009

      ¿BIG GAY LOVE?

      What do you guys think about the concept of polygamy for gay men? You know, having more than one husband/lover. I don’t mean a hidden relationship (that is cheating). Having two men (probably more) in your life and they know of each other existence. Will you for instance be a third person in a relationship? Is it possible to be totally in love (not lust) with two or more guys and having a relationship with all of them?

      Sunday, April 5, 2009


      Let me start off by saying that I believe in God, the God of Jesus Christ, the God of Mohammed, the God of George Bush, the God of Saddam Hussein…you get my drift! While it is true that most of the world’s citizens are @ the very least CHRISTIANS, why do the minorities that ascribe to other religions find little OR no comfort despite the so called BASIC right to pursue one's religious preferences? I mean more than half of them are merely SUNDAY CHRISTIANS anyways, so why do they highlight their beliefs and shun those that want it? Do you think this is the case because of the BOLD and BASIC idea the Constitution of the world in its preface professed to do little more than to acknowledge this fact? These SUNDAY CHRISTIANS LORD over the rest of the world that they are a nation founded upon CHRISTIAN principles. Is that right? Does this group of persons seem to present that they and they alone have a DIRECT private line to God? Moreover they seem to think that they are QUALIFIED and state without equivocation who is the Lord's anointed. They’ve set up a hierarchical system in God's house parallel to royalty OR the system of protocol accorded to heads of state. There is this pastor who refers to his wife as FIRST LADYDoesn’t anyone ever wonder if this man is subconsciously projecting his own transgendered self-image upon his FIRST LADY? This HEAD of the SUNDAY CHRISTIANS enriches himself by freely instilling fear of God into his follower. After all who wants to feel the eternal flames of Hell by NOT acknowledging them? SHIT, they only EMPHASIZE God’s love N’ compassion…right? So, out of fear, we week after week, and in some instances, day after day, support this action because it eases OUR conscience? I find it so miraculous how we give SO generously to the man in charge, resigned inevitably to the fact that we are born in sin and are merely obliged to try to better. I would fill God's bank account with money that goes a long way in influencing HIM not to let us suffer the eternal pangs of hell's damnation…AH WELL, THERE GOES EVERYONE ELSE…IN OTHER WORDS, RELIGIOUS MINORITIES COULD PERHAPS ALLEGE BIAS, BUT THAT IS A MATTER FOR THE SUNDAY CHRISTIANS & CONSTITUTIONAL LAWYERS…& WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT’S GOING TO TURN OUT, DON’T WE? SUFFICE TO NOTE THAT THE FEELING OF PREJUDICE DOES EXIST & IT IS REINFORCED BY SUNDAY CHRISTIANS WHO SELECTIVELY RELY UPON THE CONSTITUTION & THE BIBLE IN VENTING THEIR INTOLERANCE AGAINST THOSE THEY DEEM ARE AGAINST GOD…I GUESS THEY ARE RIGHT BECAUSE THEY ARE GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE WHO PERVADE THEIR BELIEFS ON EVERY STREET CORNER, EVERY BAR ROOM, EVERY PROFESSION, EVERY NEWSPAPER THAT TOUCHES VIRTUALLY ALL WALKS OF LIFE…

      Saturday, April 4, 2009


      BE CAREFUL is a 1998 duet by R&B artist Sparkle and R. Kelly which charted @ #1 on Billboard's R&B Monitor for a staggering six consecutive weeks. Its first week at top 40, it was most added record and the cinematic video quickly moved into heavy rotation on every major video outlet. The record reached #7 in the UK Singles Chart. Sparkle really showed SOUL in this song and I think it one her best ever, so do enjoy it…

      Friday, April 3, 2009


      Did you ever meet
      someone in a bar, a club, on the internet 
      OR just walking in the streets AND found that the chemistry between the two of you was SO explosive that you just
      couldn’t wait to get into each other? Isn’t it interesting that besides
      our intelligence and rational thinking, the thing that 
      REALLY separates
      us from animals is our ability to really enjoy sex? 
      It can be done with a partner, a
      total stranger AND many
      others at the same time; THE forbidden
      fruit that tastes oh so sweet, sparks our DEEPEST fantasies and DARKEST dreams. Yet this INTENSE moment of pleasure, allows us to give in to a side of our
      personality that no one but yourself and your partner of the moment knows
      about. When I reflect on my sexual past, I knew why I did who I did…But I can’t
      help but wonder WHAT IS IT ABOUT SEX that sets our souls on fire, only to feel
      the burn of a
       HOT volcano after?

      Our bodies stand @ attention and it like we have NO voice, NO choice but to yield in a
      world where SEX has become
      more AND more accessible
      for everyone. So how does one REALLY cope? Too many of us ASSOCIATE SEX as merely having a good time. I get that this is
      our way of PRESERVING our
      individuality and we are who we are, but then again there is SO much more to SEX than just sex…right?  

      SEX is like a movie that keeps some of us from feeling
      lonely because it gives us a chance to ESCAPE from a lack of self
      love N’ esteem…When we
      have sex with another, we need to realize that each person comes with a
      story, concentrated around the beauty and blemish of the human body N’ mind. We place each other in
      the spotlight; show our naked bodies, while hiding our souls. This brings to
      then it stands to reason that the dividing line between the practical
       AND the social expectations of SEX is COMPLETELY unobtainable because they don’t really
      CLEARLY we are OVERWHELMED by sex because SO many of us conform to a
      stereotype that shouldn’t exist in the first place. And because of this we have
      the idea of SEX all wrong… After
      reflecting on sex, relationships failed, chances lost AND the fear of ending up alone forever, shouldn’t we