I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Friday, February 27, 2015


Hello everyone, 

This week, we announced a change to Blogger’s porn policy. We’ve had a ton of feedback, in particular about the introduction of a retroactive change (some people have had accounts for 10+ years), but also about the negative impact on individuals who post sexually explicit content to express their identities. So rather than implement this change, we’ve decided to step up enforcement around our existing policy prohibiting commercial porn.  

Blog owners should continue to mark any blogs containing sexually explicit content as “adult” so that they can be placed behind an “adult content” warning page.

Bloggers whose content is consistent with this and other policies do not need to make any changes to their blogs.

Thank you for your continued feedback.  

The Blogger Team



Homeless LGBTI youth in New York City are engaging in 'survival sex' to their meet basic needs such as food and shelter, a federally funded study has found.

Many of the 283 young people interviewed by the Urban Institute were forced onto the street after being kicked out o
f their homes or aging out of foster care.

'Without having that social safety net immediately available to them, then they will find ways, in their resilience, to be able to survive on their own,' Meredith Dank, the lead author of the study, told Fusion website.

When engaging in sex work, the youths saw an average three to six customers a night – 11 to 18 a week – and charged $90 to $230 per encounter, with a daily income ranging from $355 to $735.

About 90% of the youths said sex work made them feel frustrated, dirty or endangered, and many carried knives or Mace for protection.

Only 7% of respondents said they had no desire to stop engaging in sex work.

'I don’t remember it that vividly, all I know is just that I was starving,' said one 21-year-old male identified as black and gay.

'I was hungry, I was cold, so I did it.'

But more than 80% said there were positive aspects to sex work — notably helping to meet their basic needs and in some cases fostering a sense of community.

'It's not as bad as sleeping under the bridge, it's not as bad as going without food,' said a 19-year-old respondent identified as a Spanish and black, bisexual female.

LGBTI youth make up an estimated 20% to 40% of the homeless youth population, but only 5% to 7% of the total young population in the US.

The study was funded by the justice department's office of juvenile justice and delinquency prevention and focused on youth aged between 15 and 21.

Of the respondents, 47% identified as male, 36% as female and 16% as transgender. About 90% were black, Latino or multiracial and nearly 60% lived in shelters or on the street.


Thursday, February 26, 2015


On a Sunday afternoon in Washington, D.C., I decided to go hang out with the crew at our usual gay club hangout. I was having a great time drinking and doing a little two step, when nature called. I decided to leave my friends and go  to the bathroom alone, as I have done since the tender age of 5.  While washing my hands outside the bathroom, I was approached by a man, who I would consider an associate.

As I gave the official “what’s up” head nod, he responded the same while also sticking his hand between my legs from behind and squeezing.  Although I was startled, I played it cool and moved his arm away and asked him not to do that.  I guess my rejection of his advances was the first time in history this ever happened because his response was “What? You don’t like that” as he did it again.

Now, I am pissed.

As my blood pressure started to rise, I slapped his hands away and yelled, “Chill on all of that”.

As I do this, he is now irate and going off. By the grace of God, a mutual friend happened to be standing there watching the entire confrontation. He grabbed his friend by the arm and continuously yelled, “Lets go!”

Finally, he calmed down and exits.

I was left standing there with my hands shaking and confused. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I had no control over a situation dealing with my personal space. Thoughts were running through my head trying to rationalize what happened.

I asked myself a few questions:

Where my clothes too tight? No, clothes don’t dictate consent.  Did I give consent that I wasn’t aware of? No, I was simply washing my hands and said hello. Did I actually allow the normalcy of grabbing and touching that goes on in these settings devalue my body to the point that I lost ownership of it?  Umm. No? Yes? Maybe.

As a person who has been to many a gay clubs, the violation of sexual contact has become way too common. Most often, it occurs in passing or while standing at the bar. You feel the slight brush of your backside by people “claiming” they are trying to pass by.  Hands wrapping around your waist as people try to order a drink from behind you. This occurs so frequently, that I fully allowed it as an acceptable act. It has become so regular in our culture that people act without fear of repercussion and dismiss anyone who rejects the unwanted advances based on a culture of rape and perceived promiscuity in the gay community.

This stigma is further advanced with the portrayal of gay male characters on primetime television.  Although I appreciate the advancement being taken with gay male characters having roles on major networks in shows like “Scandal” and “How To Get Away With Murder”, I am saddened that these characters have been maligned as being sexually deviant and lacking any depth. Both shows depict gay males using their bodies rather than their intelligence to get what they want by using sex as a manipulative tool against one another. These scenes portray us as people that are willing to perform sexual favors in an office, courthouse bathroom, or with an escort further the agenda that we don’t take value in our bodies or sexual spaces.

Consent is the premise of my problem. My body, is mine inherently, and with that you must have permission to cross that space. Granted, there are gay men that enjoy the gratification of their sexual space visited often, but even with that there is consent. To the alternative men who are guarded and protective of their sexual should be respected if they choose not to engage in such actions as touching and grabbing. Many of the later are forced to simply deal with this because of the false belief that sexual promiscuity is the norm rather than the exception. Having multiple sex partners is viewed as a deviant behavior rather a person having ownership over their body and consenting to having relations with multiple people. Regardless of how casual one may have sex, it never constitutes the fact that  one should gain consent before making sexual contact. It should also not be used as a determinant of how we in the gay community value our bodies.

The same respect for consent must be applied to sexual contact. The assumption that a grab or grope is harmless is very dangerous to the sexual culture we as gay men have to live in. The same rules of consent that apply in a male-to-female exchange must also apply in male-to-male and female-to-female exchanges. Grabbing on me cannot be used as a form of “compliment.” I should not have to be subjected to unwanted touching as form of you showing your attraction toward me.

With that being said- no means no. The same rules that govern the heterosexual community when it comes to sexual assault and contact need to be reciprocated in the homosexual community. Violation of one’s personal space needs to be respected when it has been determined to be unwanted and unwarranted. I can only hope that going forward we, as a community, learn that societal views do not determine the value placed on one’s body. I would rather you say hello to my face before your hands say hello to my waist.



Researchers from Cambridge University have found that it is possible to make a baby using the skin cells of parents of the same sex.

A stem cell research breakthrough has revealed that in just two years same-sex couples could have their own biological children.
Researchers from Cambridge University have discovered that it is possible to make a baby using skin cells of parents of the same sex.
The researchers have shown, for the first time, that human egg and sperm cells can be made from stem cells in the skin of two adults. They have stated that the technique could mean same-sex couples could have babies in just two years.

The scientists used stem cell lines from embryos as well as cells from the skin of five different adults. Ten different donor sources have been used so far and new germ-cell lines have been created from all of them.

The team, funded by The Wellcome Trust, compared the engineered stem cells with human cells from foetuses to make sure they had identical characteristics.

Azim Surani, leader of the project, told The Sunday Times: “We have succeeded in the first and most important step of this process, which is to show we can make these very early human stem cells in a dish. We have also discovered that one of the things that happens in these germ cells is that epigenetic mutations, the cell mistakes that occur with age, are wiped out.”


Wednesday, February 25, 2015




Out actor Alan Cumming stars in a hilarious PSA mocking an FDA policy prohibiting sexually active gay and bisexual men from donating blood.

A coalition of groups, including GLAAD and Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC), are behind the #CelibacyChallenge campaign, which calls on the FDA to implement a blood donation system that screens all donors based on risk for HIV transmission, regardless of sexual orientation.

The FDA currently prohibits men who have sex with men from donating blood unless they have been celibate for one year.

Cumming presents himself as head of the Department of Sexual Abstinence in the nearly 2-minute video, where he challenges gay and bisexual men to remain celibate for a year to save lives.

“Introducing the Celibacy Challenge,” Cumming's character boldly declares. “So, let's get to it. Let's start saving some lives.”

Among the “authorized” activities that will make the year “fly by” are pottery making, carpentry and housecleaning – all of which are illustrated to great comedic effect with sexual references.

“Or there's another option,” the official says. “Sign our petition, then share this video to pressure the FDA to change its questionnaire so donors are screened based on their exposure to risk and not their sexual orientation.”

Click here to sign the petition.


Tuesday, February 24, 2015


Using the media as a litmus test, one would think romantic love among black gay men is in dire straits. Prominent black gay men like Michael Sam and Derrick Gordon both have white lovers, and recently, the key black gay character in Lee Daniels’ “Empire” has a Mexican boyfriend who ostensibly is white. Quite honestly, when the only highly visible models of successful black gay men seem tethered to white lovers, the implicit message becomes that love between black gay men is non-existent. And irritatingly, the broader conversation around love between black gay men becomes centered around whiteness, rather than love among ourselves.

And we need to talk about love between ourselves, because unfortunately, the implausibility of black gay love is an idea not just held by the media but among black gay men ourselves. One need look no further than the social media app Jack’d, which features a large contingent of black gay men with profiles full of self-hate. Profiles that sound more like treatises of self-defense rather than pitches for love. Phrases like “no fats no fems,” or “I only fuck with real masculine niggas.” These ubiquitous stamps upon dating and sex profiles make romantic love between black gay men feel unattainable.

However, while the media seems to suggest that black gay men—particularly wealthy and educated—run into the arms of white lovers for safety and comfort, I can scarcely think of any relationship—outside of a physically violent one—that would cause me more consternation and confusion. My relationship should not be the space where I worry about being someone’s fetish, or where I have to explain the nuances of my culture, or the generational traumas I was born of and embody on a daily basis. This is not to say that loving relationships between black and white men should be avoided. I am not anti-interracial, but rather I am pro-black love. As black gay men, we have to be diligent about choosing to love each other in society that devalues both how we love and who we choose to love.

Being a black gay man and choosing to love other black gay men is an act of self-love and political resistance. Sure, as Joseph Beam offers us, it is the revolutionary act – but while it is revolutionary, it is also difficult. Because to be a black gay man who chooses to love other black gay men means that we have to love through the psychological and emotional trauma that this world affords us.

In my life, the type of love that has always been the most nourishing for me has been black love. As a young boy in inner-city Detroit, the models of love that were most salient and recognizable to me were also black. The at-times harsh, but honest and magnanimous affection from black women, the problematic and boisterous showboating love of black men, and the sharp, vibrant, and energetic love from my peers. While there is no single notion of black love that is pure and wholly fulfilling, when I have experienced love at its most radical and nourishing, it has always been from blackness. A type of love that understands what it means to be born from slavery, subject to past and present trauma and societal disenfranchisement, but still all-encompassing enough to hold all of this pain and still persist in this life—with “some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

But I must also be honest, much of the most empowering black love I’ve experienced has come from black women.  When the black male elders in my life tried to show me love it always felt challenging, shaming, and aggressive. And even as an adult, the black gay community still often thrives on shade, patriarchal notions of manhood and insecurity. But  I’ve also experienced great love, both romantic and platonic, from black gay men. From men who have taken me to get my first HIV test, who have consoled me in times of familial strife, who have danced with me in clubs, and have shown me selfless adoration, even if those relationships did not last.

So rather than seeing the difficulties of loving black gay men as endemic to who we are, it is time we radically reorganize how we might think of love between black gay men. We can first do so by asking the right questions, such as what does it mean for two men to love each other in a society where men are not socialized to show love and care for each other? What does it mean to choose to love another black gay man when the bodies we love are subject to disproportionate levels of violence, poverty, and health disparities? What does it mean to choose to love another black gay man, when love between black people is already fraught with systemic strife? A love that has virtually been declared nonexistent, a love that has had no models–after all, we are told that it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Despite the self-hatred, despite the perhaps slim-pickings, I am choosing to love black gay men romantically or otherwise. I do so because I believe that love is political, and if we are to truly love ourselves, and change our community, we must first see our community for who we really are. Loving beings that persist in a country that still denies us our reflections. If I am ever to be in that mainstream, long-term monogamous relationship, I very unapologetically intend for it be with a black man. And this intention is not merely about love and affection, but a political choice. In a society that renders black gay love nonexistent, and has a very peculiar investment in making sure that black gay men are only seen with white lovers, I am choosing to love black.



Teachers in Atlanta are trying to raise funds to set up a school for LGBT students and their families.

Atlantan teachers are trying to set up a private school for LGBT students and those from LGBT families in the city.

The school, which will be called Pride School Atlanta, already has a location but organisers are still trying to find funding.

The mission is to provide a safe space for the school’s students while allowing them to be open about who they are. It will take students from ages 3 to 14 years old.

Organisers hope to keep tuition down to £7800 a year per student. The school already has a location in the city, it will be running from a local Presbyterian Church.

Christian Zsilavetz, who is one of the organisers, said: “I want a place where queer and trans families can bring their kids and not have to worry about being the token lesbian family or the token gay family.”

The school is planned to open this autumn. Organisers say they have joined the fight for the school because they have seen LGBT students struggle with schoolwork after facing homophobic bullying.

“It’s an intentional safe space for kids for youth who want to learn and not have to worry about homophobic remarks every day.”


Monday, February 23, 2015


I’ve noticed lately that I can’t hold an erection for too long and I only have a very small amount of cum when I blow. 
Is there something wrong and should I see a doctor?

What are your thoughts?

Has this ever happen to you? 

What advice would you give this person?


Actress Ellen Page recently said that coming out gay was the best decision of her life.

The 27-year-old Page announced she's gay last year on Valentine's Day during a speech delivered at Time to THRIVE, an LGBT youth conference hosted by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and held at Bally's Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Page (X-Men: Days of Future Past, Juno), who is in Rio to celebrate Carnaval, was asked about coming out by a Brazilian reporter.

“[I decided to come out] because I was sad,” Page said. “I felt uninspired. I was uncomfortable. It hurt relationships. I felt guilty for not being out. And it was just time. It's the best decision I ever made. I immediately felt like a new person.”

“You just feel lighter in your life,” she added.

When asked if she was dating, Page answered, “No comment.”


Sunday, February 22, 2015


"The fact that you have gone near the battlefield does not mean that you fought."

Kikuyu (Afrikan) proverb