I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, November 30, 2009


LONDON — The battle against global warming could be helped if the world slowed population growth by making free condoms and family planning advice more widely available, the U.N. Population Fund said Wednesday.

The agency did not recommend countries set limits on how many children people should have, but said: "Women with access to reproductive health services ... have lower fertility rates that contribute to slower growth in greenhouse gas emissions."

"As the growth of population, economies and consumption outpaces the Earth's capacity to adjust, climate change could become much more extreme and conceivably catastrophic," the report said.

The world's population will likely rise from the current 6.7 billion to 9.2 billion in 2050, with most of the growth in less developed regions, according to a 2006 report by the United Nations.

The U.N. Population Fund acknowledged it had no proof of the effect that population control would have on climate change. "The linkages between population and climate change are in most cases complex and indirect," the report said.

It also said that while there is no doubt that "people cause climate change," the developing world has been responsible for a much smaller share of world's greenhouse gas emissions than developed countries.

Still, Thoraya Ahmed Obaid, the U.N. Population Fund's executive director, told a news conference in London on Wednesday that global warming could be catastrophic for people in poor countries, particularly women.

"We have now reached a point where humanity is approaching the brink of disaster," she said.

In three weeks, a global conference will be held in Copenhagen aimed at reaching a deal to replace the 1997 Kyoto Protocol, which required 37 industrial countries to cut heat-trapping greenhouse gas emissions.

On Wednesday, one analyst criticized the U.N. Population Fund's pronouncements as alarmist and unhelpful.

"It requires a major leap of imagination to believe that free condoms will cool down the climate," said Caroline Boin, a policy analyst at International Policy Network, a London-based think tank.

She also questioned earlier efforts by the agency to control the world's population.

In its 1987 report, the U.N. Population Fund warned that once the global population hit 5 billion, the world "could degenerate into disaster." At the time, the agency said "more vigorous attempts to slow undue population growth" were needed in many countries.

According to Boin, "Numerous environmental indicators show that with development and economic growth we are able to preserve more natural habitats. There is no causal relationship between population density and poverty."

In this month's Bulletin, the World Health Organization's journal, two experts also warned about the dangers of linking fertility to climate change.

"Using the need to reduce climate change as a justification for curbing the fertility of individual women at best provokes controversy and at worst provides a mandate to suppress individual freedoms," wrote WHO's Diarmid Campbell-Lendrum and Manjula Lusti-Narasimhan.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


Have you ever notice that when everything goes smoothly, we feel blessed by the universe, as if a fleet of angels is guiding and supporting our every move? But when things are rough OR uncertain, we immediately throw our problems on God. When things were fine most of us DON’T consider God, but when they are in reverse well…that’s another story all together!  

So the other day I am chatting with an online buddy of mine and he tells me that the friend that he moved in with a few weeks ago told him he had to leave. According to the story he told me, this friend told him that he could stay as long as it takes for him to get on his feet. He had some money saved and was paying his share of the bills, but when you are unemployed money tends to NOT last long. So as we discussed his situation he told me that he was NOT worried because he placed the situation in God’s hands. Naturally I was taken back a bit because this is the same young man that said WHEN I GET A JOB, I WILL BE THROWING A PARTY & THAT I MUST ATTEND! So as I sat and thought about what he said, I couldn’t help but wonder if he has BLIND FAITH or BLIND FATE?   

Now I understand the need to believe in a higher power, but given the state of the world, doesn’t God have his hands full? Moreover, doesn’t the GREAT book teaches us that God helps those who help themselves? From what I know about life, inaction brings NOTHING and I find his logic sort of ignorant because he believes that that life functions haphazardly. Wisdom teaches us that EVERYTHING that happens in this theater of life has profound significance and to simply leave it all up to God, does NOTHING for him! 

He like SO many out there who are affected by the economy just sit and wait for the day when they can put themselves right back into the place that brought on the economic status of the world today. If I were God I would turn myself away from his masochistic way of living because on some level he likes living this way a bit TOO much. I find it VERY confusing that one would serve the creator in such a blasphemous way. Would God really touch such a wobbly soul that is standing on one leg that yields itself to loose dirt? It saddens me to know that reality hasn’t begun its tedious crawl back into the reasoning of man. I get that we all are NEEDY, STARVED, DESPISED N’ DISPOSSESSED, but how strong is BLIND FAITH when your FATE is BLIND?

I feel that his life AND fate are a result of things coming to fruition by some unseen hand that has done much of the work. So when he is required to put in a TREMENDOUS amount of effort, he doesn’t know how. If only he could use BLIND FAITH along with belief in himself, he would see that FAITH in God ONLY works when his FATE isn’t BLIND as well…

Saturday, November 28, 2009


"Thank You" is an R&B song released by American R&B/soul-singing group, Boyz II Men in 1995. "Thank You" was produced by Dallas Austin and released as the third single from Boyz II Men's second studio album, II. "Thank You" did not perform as well as its predecessor and reached a peak position of #21 on the US Billboard Hot 100 and the Hot Singles Sales on March 18, 1995 and March 25, 1995, respectively, and also reached #17 on the US Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop songs. "Thank You" performed moderately well in the UK eventually peaking at #26 on the UK Singles Chart [1]. "Thank you" also peaked at #17 on the New Zealand RIANZ singles chart, #27 on the French singles chart and #33 on the Australian ARIA Singles Chart.
Doesn’t this song consciously engaging the senses? The words THANK YOU allow us to experience life in a tangible and profound way. Because most of us are bombarded by life, we often get into the habit of not showing our gratitude to others. So as you listen to this song, take an inventory of your life’s blessings and consider the things that nourish your body and mind…And don’t forget to say THANK YOU!

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Thanksgiving brings a smorgasbord of food and great times; and without a doubt, it is second only to Christmas for most of us. This day is all about spending time with love ones who sees this as a time to gorge themselves on a "once in a year" meal, but how about we REALLY live the meaning of Thanksgiving?

Though this is not a holiday in my country and many others around the world, I would like to express my thanks and gratitude for everything that happened over the past year…the good and the bad. But most of all I want to say THANK YOU to all of you out there. THANK YOU for just being who you are…HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


They invade our community
In a feeble attempt to dilute our power
And to confuse,
Misguide and misdirect our minds!

What they realize is
That even @ our most dire wretchedness
And seemingly distant separation from the knowledge of who we are,
We remain closer to a divine creative source than they could ever be!

This reality remains the bane of their existence
Because ONE day we allow LOVE to fill us,
We will beam our energy into the world.
And still we rise!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


The DICK is one of God’s GREATEST creations! It has a Mushroom Head, A beefy taste, 2 eggs and Milk which provide nutrients, thus making those it feeds crave for more…It is COURTEOUS: it stands before it performs. It is EMOTIONAL: it weeps when it's performing. It is POLITE: it bows after it has performed. Yet with all of these fine characteristics, can anyone tell me WHAT IS IT ABOUT A GOOD DICK THAT MAKES US DO BAD THINGS TO OURSELVES?

A GOOD dick can reform a GAY man, turn a GAY man into a stranger, conquer a GAY man and make a GAY man cry out in ecstasy. Most would choose the latter and while that is GREAT, there's more to this organ than a simple orgasm. Have you ever wonder why most gay men would RIGHTFULLY accept a GOOD dick that brings passion and is devoid of love? They open themselves up, take a hit, enjoy the high AND neglect the risk…In the parks, public bathrooms, bathhouses and anywhere they can catch a piece of GOOD dick they take that it.

I am sure MOST are ashamed AND uncomfortable in being who they are, so I guess a GOOD dick numbs the hurt, the pain, the emptiness, the discomfort and gives something that doesn’t ‘cum’ easy in this life…right? The wanting to be held, to be touched, to be kissed, to be acknowledged is something we all crave for, so if only for a moment a GOOD dick can give them that…no harm, no foul right? You can let the I LOVE YOU slip as it devours you while desire just desires itself…You know you got it or it got you…

Either way it drives us nuts, making us lose all sense of what we really want. A GOOD dick can make you play the CAT N’ MOUSE game…you have to be a little bit coy, a little bit sweet, not too threatening but not too keen or it'll know that you're pandering. It's a fine line; it's like being in church and trying NOT to have sexual thoughts about the cutie boy a few rows over. Anyone that knows about a GOOD dick knows the perfect way NOT to get what they want…

As soon as it cums, it remembers who it is; the organ that CANNOT be tamed while in the midst of a blissful sexcapade. A GOOD dick more than likely will NOT become your boyfriend, its boastful pride, arrogance AND power won’t allow it. To think it alone can satisfy you and give you everything…could LOVE you in a world where love is bought @ a discount price requires too much of your soul to sacrifice. I know love don’t cost a thing when a GOOD dick is attached to a REAL cute guy, that’s sort of edgy, smart, funny, and charming, but if you can establish that MOST GOOD dicks only establish a connection with your ass and NOT your heart you will be just fine. So as the GOOD dick leaves you feeling sad, waiting and wanting to cry, don’t feel ashamed to get excited by it…JUST REMEMBER IT IS JUST SEX! So go gaga over it, getting your sexual feelings in, faint AND call Jesus…JUST REMEMBER WHAT A GOOD DICK CAN DO…

Monday, November 23, 2009


Commitment gathers the many wandering fragments of the energy that is our soul, concentrates the gathered energy, then focuses the beam on goals we set ourselves. It is part of the nature of human energy, after the exertion of such effective concentration, to relapse into the original, ineffectual state of dispersal. Where this happens, the normal state of a person's life is the dispirited inertia of dispersal, punctured at intervals by bursts of committed action, spectacular revelations of the immense possibilities of committed work, but so brief that they confirm the dispiriting notion that the natural state of humanity is impotent torpor; they feed the crippling illusion that the intelligent life of commitment can only be a momentary revelation of transcendent beauty, a singular eruption of unworldly energy bursting briefly out of eternal lethargy. If we wanted to reverse this unbalanced distribution of commitment and apathy, we would have to find ways of increasing the frequency with which committed consciousness wove its way into the drowsy fabric of daily existence. We would have to make the focused presence of committed through a regular, routine part of the passage of our life. We would have to find ways of making a frame for our daily lives from the active expression of our commitment.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


We are all taught the same things, on several different levels but the same things nonetheless; and we are all familiar with the metaphorical story of two people looking @ the same glass and one perceiving it as half-full while the other sees it as half-empty. I’ve found that people who use their various religious beliefs to separate the right from wrong…saint from sinner engage in the half-full or half-empty thinking. Though they ALL refer to themselves as serving THE ONE TRUE GOD, there exists this belief that their religious affiliation is THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS. Why is that the case when we all are capable of understanding that such beliefs don’t unite us?

As much as I wish the religious sector could exist in harmony with each other, I know that won’t happen. How can it when we can’t even get our homes in order? There are mothers and fathers that punish their own children because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with their own. If only they can all understand that we are all individuals and our paths are SO different. Hence we don’t need to believe in the same things…just each other…I know it is scary when someone compels us to question our values, spirituality and ideologies as they undermine your religious stance, but if they took the stance that we are all the same, wouldn’t it make things better? 

The sum of our knowledge and life experiences is the foundation for our beliefs and the choices we make. The religious positions we take and the ideas we have as a result are valid, important, and worth holding onto, but NOT @ the expense of other religions. When we look @ religion with a half-empty consciousness, we perceive a gain and think that the other half of what others believe is what’s missing. If they are to make the shift into half-full consciousness, they would need to imagine religion as an empty glass…without Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism etc. and see just an empty, open space waiting to be filled with a little something from EVERYONE!

Saturday, November 21, 2009


"Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)" is a song written by American singer Mariah Carey and Diane Warren, and produced by Carey, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis for Carey's ninth album Rainbow (1999). It was released as the album's third single in 2000 as a double A-side with "Crybaby." It was the center of a public fight between Carey and Sony Music Entertainment concerning Carey's struggle to get it released and Sony's alleged lack of promotion.

Carey co-wrote the song with Diane Warren, though Warren does not usually share songwriting credit. Although there were no conflicts during the recording process, the pair had minor disagreements during the songwriting stages: Carey said that Warren liked to repeat lyrical phrases often. The second song that Carey and Warren wrote together was "There For Me" which was released as a B-side to the "Never Too Far/Hero Medley" single Carey released in late 2001.

The song's protagonist details the struggles of dealing with people who put you down, and how to overcome these struggles through faith, courage, and the power of God. Carey explains in the song's lyrics how although people can try to make her feel down and depressed, no matter what happens, she can't let them win: "There's a light in me that shines brightly. They can try but they can't take that away from me."

Whenever I listen to this song, I can’t but shed a tear when I think of how people out there make others feel as if they don’t matter. Thus setting off our own emotional reaction, that DESTROYS our self-esteem. I would like to think that when you hear this song, you could somehow empathize with the individual that brought such feels to you rather than simply accept their negative energy…

Friday, November 20, 2009


Today is the 11th annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance; and on this day memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved.

Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgender — that is, as a transsexual, crossdresser, or otherwise gender-variant — each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender people.

We live in times more sensitive than ever to hatred based violence, especially since the events of September 11th. Yet even now, the deaths of those based on anti-transgender hatred or prejudice are largely ignored. Over the last decade, more than one person per month has died due to transgender- based hate or prejudice, regardless of any other factors in their lives. This trend shows no sign of abating.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of our brothers and sisters who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance reminds non-transgender people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers. Day of Remembrance gives our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who’ve died by anti-transgender violence.

The day also allows transgender people around the globe to gather in solidarity and present to society in a loving and peaceful way generating awareness and education about transpeople and the issues they face.

"It has also been a time to reflect on the fear, violence and discrimination that affects many trans people's lives."

If you cannot attend an event, please light a candle or remember all those who have been harmed or perished due to hatred, homophobia, fear, intolerance of sexuality, appearance, or gender identity. I KNOW WILL…

Thursday, November 19, 2009




When contemplating whether to do something or not, a plucky voice in our heads may say, "You never know until you try." This is time-honored wisdom that encourages us to be game rather than to hold back. It reminds us that it is only through experience that we learn about this world and ourselves. Even if we regret the outcome, we have learned something, and the newfound knowledge is almost always worth it.

This wisdom can be applied to situations both large and small. From crossing the Atlantic on a boat to trying Ethiopian food, there’s only one way to find out what it’s like. We have all had experiences where we tried something we didn’t think we’d like and fell in love. We may have found ourselves stuck with nothing to read but a "boring" book, only to kick-start a lifelong passion for Victorian literature. We may have decided that sailing was not for us until we fell in love with someone with a boat. On the other hand, we may try tofu only to learn that it is truly not for us. In this case, we gain greater self-knowledge from the experience. And yet, we might still remain open to trying it prepared in a different way. The right marinade might make you a convert—you’ll never know if you don’t try it.

It is often said that at the end of our lives we are more likely to regret the things we did not do than the things we did. As an exercise to test your own willingness to discover through doing, try making a list of things you regret not having done. You may begin to notice patterns such as a failure to say what you really think at key moments or closed-mindedness to certain types of activities. Just being aware of the opportunities you missed might encourage you not to miss them again. There’s only one way to find out.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I’ve learned to judge folks by what they are from inside; and NOT by what they appear from out. Isn’t it something how NATURAL our inclination to judge people happens without our even thinking about it? And we gay men take one look and summarize each other by tagging one another. When we judge, we are looking for pertinent information, trying to determine whether the person approaching is a threat, an ally, or someone we don’t need to worry about. SO WHY DO WE JUDGE EACH OTHER WHEN IT LEADS TO AN OVERLY SIMPLISTIC READING OF THE PEOPLE WE MEET?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


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Towleroad reported that a gay Puerto Rican teen was found brutally murdered on the island. Nineteen-year-old, Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado’s body was found burned, decapitated and dismembered on Nov. 14 in Cayey, a city only a few miles away from his hometown in Caguas.
This has caused a huge reaction from the gay community here, but its a difficult situation. Never in the history of Puerto Rico has a murder been classified as a hate crime. Even though we have to follow federal mandates and laws, many of the laws in which are passed in the USA such as Obama’s new bill, do not always directly get practiced in Puerto Rico. The police agent that is handling this case said on a public televised statement that “people who lead this type of lifestyle need to be aware that this will happen”. As If the boy murdered Jorge Steven Lopez was asking to get killed.
According to an iReport by Christopher Pagan, “He was a very well known person in the gay community of Puerto Rico, and very loved.”
Pagan also noted the public remarks from a police investigator for the case that ‘people who lead this type of lifestyle need to be aware that this will happen’.
Towleroad translated gay activist Pedro Julio Serrano’s response:
“It is inconceivable that the investigating officer suggests that the victim deserved his fate, like a woman deserves rape for wearing a short skirt. We demand condemnation of this investigator and demand that Superintendent Figueroa Sancha replace him with someone capable of investigating this case without prejudice.”
According to Pagan, the story has only made local headlines and deserves international coverage.


We've been told that the only sure things are death and taxes. But just as creative accountants have helped many men triumph over their 1040s, we can help you outrun the reaper. Maybe it's a game you can't ultimately win. But by following these 50 tips, you sure as hell can send it into overtime.

1. Drink at least five 8-ounce glasses of water a day: Scientists at Loma Linda University found that men who drank this amount of H2O were 54 percent less likely to suffer a fatal heart attack than those who drank two glasses or less every day.

2. Take a laugh break: Watching 15 minutes of funny video can improve bloodflow to your heart by 50 percent, report researchers at the University of Maryland. "This may reduce blood-clot formation, cholesterol deposition, and inflammation," says study author Michael Miller, M.D. For your daily dose, click on the "hilarious" video link at

3. Don't go to work sick: Over a 3-year period, men who clocked in despite feeling under the weather had double the heart-attack risk of guys who stayed in bed, according to a U.K. study.

4. Put out the fire in your chest: Untreated heartburn can lead to a heart attack, according to a study in the International Journal of Cardiology. Scientists discovered that as acid levels in the esophagus rise, the incidence of blocked bloodflow to the heart also rises by 20 percent. A natural remedy: Analyze your diet. Don't make a habit of drinking wine, juice, or carbonated beverages, all of which are highly acidic and may trigger heartburn, say South Carolina researchers.

5. Indulge your chocolate craving: In a 15-year study, Dutch scientists determined that men who ate just 4 grams of cocoa a day had half the risk of dying from heart disease than those who ate less. That's the equivalent of two 25-calorie Hershey's Kisses — an amount that can fit into any diet.

6. Say no to Froot Loops: In a review of 53 studies, Australian researchers found that regularly eating cereal made from refined grains raises insulin and C-reactive protein, and lowers good cholesterol — all factors that boost your odds of developing heart disease. A better choice for your morning bowl: Post Shredded Wheat cereal, which is made from 100 percent whole grains and contains no sugar.

7. Take a magnesium supplement: Over an 18-year period, French researchers determined that men with the highest blood levels of magnesium are 40 percent less likely to die of any cause than those with the lowest levels. Magnesium can make multivitamins too bulky, so add a 250 milligram (mg) pill from or GNC to your daily regimen.

8. Burn 1,100 calories a week: Duke University scientists discovered that this amount of exercise prevents the accumulation of visceral adipose tissue — the dangerous belly fat that causes arterial inflammation and hypertension. Falling short? Join a league: A recent British Medical Journal study reported that people who exercised in groups boosted their average calorie burn by 500 a week.

9. Take a daily multivitamin: Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley discovered that this helps prevent the DNA damage that causes cancer. We like Centrum Silver.

10. Hit the weights: University of Michigan scientists found that men who completed three total-body weight workouts a week for 2 months lowered their diastolic blood pressure (the bottom number) by an average of eight points. That's enough to reduce the risk of stroke by 40 percent and heart attack by 15 percent.

11. Set a three-drink limit: Harvard researchers determined that downing more than three drinks in a 24-hour period increases your risk of atrial fibrillation, a condition that may boost your odds of a stroke fivefold during that time. An important note: When the average man pours himself a glass of wine, it's typically twice the size of a standard drink (4 ounces), report researchers at Duke University.
If you think you're having a heart attack, do these two things:

12. Plop an Alka-Seltzer: It contains 325 milligrams of aspirin, the same as a regular aspirin, and begins fighting blood clots almost 3 minutes faster than a pill, according to a study in Thrombosis Research.

13...and call a ride: Walk-in patients wait almost twice as long in the E.R. as those who arrive by ambulance, according to a University of New Mexico study.

14. Treat a killer bee sting: You may not know if you're allergic to the venom of a bee, wasp, or hornet until you've already been stung. But if you start to experience the symptoms of a life-threatening reaction — hives, wheezing, abdominal cramping — you can save yourself in 3 steps:
·        Step 1. Call 911.
·        Step 2. Take a Benadryl.
·        Step 3. Lie on your back and elevate your legs while you wait for help, says Steven Kernerman, D.O., an allergist at the Spokane Allergy and Asthma Clinic. An allergic reaction can constrict your blood vessels, and our three-step strategy counteracts that by improving bloodflow to your heart.

15. Eat produce at every meal: If you consume more than five servings of fruits and vegetables per day, you have a 26 percent lower risk of stroke than people who eat fewer than three servings, according to a recent U.K. study.

16. Monitor your blood sugar: Johns Hopkins University researchers recently determined that people with the highest blood-sugar levels have twice the risk of heart disease as those with the lowest. A warning sign: fasting blood sugar that's greater than 100 mg per deciliter.

17. Think positive: Purdue scientists discovered that constant worrying shortens your life span by 16 years.

18. Keep your cool: Men who frequently express anger outwardly are more than twice as likely to have a stroke than guys who control their tempers, according to the journal Stroke. If you have anger-management issues, try fish oil. National Institutes of Health scientists found that hostile, aggressive men often have low blood levels of DHA — one of the main omega-3 fats found in the oil. We like Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega ($27 for 60 1,000-milligram (mg) softgels; Take 1,000 to 2,000 mg every day.
Make sure you don't end up as fish food. Most shark attacks occur at dawn and dusk, when sharks feed, says Alan Henningsen, a marine biologist and shark researcher at the National Aquarium in Baltimore. You can watch the sky for clues to their location: Seabirds eat the same fish as sharks. Here are three more ways to avoid a grisly death.

19. Dive with a partner: This cuts the chance of a shark attack by 50 percent, say Australian scientists.

20. If you're attacked, hit the shark in its eyes or gills: These are its most sensitive areas. The snout might work as a target, but this tactic often results in a bitten arm, according to a University of Maryland study.

21. For God's sake, don't pee in the ocean: Bodily fluids attract sharks.

Once you're safe from sharks...

22. Try a natural remedy: According to Israeli scientists, eating one red grapefruit a day lowers LDL (bad) cholesterol by 20 percent, even in people who don't respond to statins.

23. Have breakfast within 90 minutes of waking: A University of Massachusetts study found that men who waited longer than that were 50 percent more likely to become obese. And U.K. researchers determined that increases in body mass were directly proportionate to the likelihood of dying of gut cancers — specifically rectal, bladder, colon, and liver.

24. Vacuum for 30 minutes: Doing 150 calories' worth of chores a day can lower high blood pressure by 13 points, according to Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise. The reduction lasts only 8 hours, but make it a daily habit and you can lower your BP in the long term. (Helping out more with housework may improve your sex life, too.)

25. Eat berries: The antioxidants in cranberries, blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries have been shown to offer protection from a stroke, keep you mentally sharp as you age, and ward off cancer.

26. Drownproof yourself: If you're dumped in the water without a life preserver, the key to survival is staying warm and conserving energy. Use the method taught to U.S. Navy pilots: Float facedown in the water with your knees tucked against your chest in the fetal position. (This slows the drop in body temperature.) Exhale bubbles slowly, turning your head to one side only to inhale deeply. Repeat until help arrives.

27. Sleep on your side: This can halve the number of sleep-apnea-related wakeups you experience during the night. Such interruptions make you up to six times more likely to be involved in an auto accident, due to residual fatigue, according to researchers at University Hospital in Bern, Switzerland. To keep from rolling over onto your back as you sleep, stuff a small, firm neck pillow down the back of your T-shirt before dozing off.

28. Light a jasmine-scented candle: Men who did this for just 1 minute before bed fell asleep faster, tossed and turned less, and felt more refreshed in the morning than those who didn't inhale the aroma, report scientists at Wheeling Jesuit University. That's important, because insufficient sleep boosts your risk of diabetes, and restless sleep increases your odds of a stroke.

29. Live life in a smoke-free zone: Secondhand smoke, besides boosting your risk of lung cancer, raises your diabetes risk by 40 percent — nearly the same as smoking does.

30. Dodge a deadly lightning bolt: Stay off the toilet during severe thunderstorms. If lightning hits within even 60 feet of your house, it can not only jump through phone and electrical lines but also run through plumbing, according to the National Weather Service.

31. Put your iPod on a mount: Reaching for an unsecured object as you drive makes you eight times more likely to swerve into a road barrier, according to the Mayo Clinic.

32. Check your smoke alarms: The most likely reason a house fire ends in a fatality: no early warning. While just about every U.S. residence has smoke alarms, a Morehouse School of Medicine study revealed that the devices were nonfunctioning in one-third of homes due to dead or absent batteries. If you've ever let the juice in any of your detectors dwindle — or removed the battery simply to disable the low-power beep — consider installing at least one DuPont self-charging smoke alarm ($26; It screws into a ceiling light socket and feeds off your home's electricity.

33. Sip on mint tea: It contains the powerful antioxidant hesperidin, which reduces the inflammation and oxidative stress associated with diabetes by 52 percent, according to a study at the University of Buffalo. And despite its lack of caffeine, mint tea also increases alertness.

34. Don't jaywalk: This is particularly good advice if you've had too much to drink, because 77 percent of pedestrians killed while crossing the road aren't at intersections. And 53 percent of those killed at night had blood-alcohol concentrations at or above .08 percent, the legal limit in all 50 states.

35. Don't get blown to bits: Keep bleach, paint stripper, fabric softener, glue, and sidewalk salt away from gas appliances. The chlorine or fluorine in these products breaks down into ionized gas, which can eat holes in the pipes that deliver the fuel for your furnace, range, or dryer. Think you smell fumes? Don't call for help from inside your house; using your phone could create an electric spark and set off an explosion.

36. Find time to exercise: People who exercise at any intensity for 2 hours a week — an average of about 17 minutes a day — are 61 percent less likely to feel highly stressed than their sedentary counterparts, according to researchers in Denmark.

37...Then take it outside: British researchers found that people who exercised outdoors reduced their depression by 71 percent, while indoor exercisers' depression decreased by only 45 percent after their workouts.

38. Cut out the sweet stuff: Tufts University researchers found that men on low-sugar diets had lower levels of depression and anxiety than those who consumed all types of carbs. The happier people also limited their total carb intake to 40 percent of total calories.

39. Douse your salad with oil and vinegar: European scientists determined that unheated olive oil reduces cancer risk. As for vinegar, eating it prior to a high-carbohydrate meal (like pasta) slows the absorption of carbs into your bloodstream. This prevents the spikes in blood sugar and insulin that signal your body to store fat.

40. Add curry to vegetables: Rutgers University scientists discovered that a combination of turmeric (found in curry powder) and phenethyl isothiocyanate (a compound in broccoli, brussels sprouts, and cauliflower) helps fight prostate cancer. The researchers believe that dusting your vegetables just once a week will provide protection.

41. Be a career coach: A man married to a woman who is upset by her work is 2.7 times more likely to develop heart disease. If your wife won't find a new job, help her practice her negotiating skills. A Harvard study found that due to anxiety, women don't initiate money talks at work as often as men do, especially when the boss is male.

42. Stash a cinnamon air freshener in your car: The strong, spicy smell can help you stay alert as you drive. Researchers at Wheeling Jesuit University found that a whiff increases alertness by 25 percent. Sucking on an Altoid may work, too.

43. Test yourself for HIV: A recent British study confirms that early detection is the key to extending your life. You can order a take-home HIV test online ($44,, mail in your blood sample, and receive your results in the mail just 7 days later.

44. Fall on your butt: If you feel yourself losing balance on the stairs, crouch so that your butt hits first, says Robert Nirschl, M.D., a spokesman for the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons. Don't be afraid to bounce down a few steps — it'll make a fatal blow less likely.

45. Design a colorful menu: Colorado State University scientists discovered that men who eat the widest variety of fruits and vegetables gain greater cancer-fighting benefits than those who eat more total servings but choose from a smaller assortment. That's because the plant chemicals that protect against disease vary between botanical families. Mix it up by choosing one serving from five different color groups: blues and purples, greens, whites, reds, and yellows and oranges.

46. Take a noontime nap: Breaking up your day with a 30-minute snooze can reduce coronary mortality by 37 percent, report Greek researchers. Why? It reduces stress that can damage your heart. Even a short nap once or twice a week was found to decrease the risk of early death.

47. Steep your tea for at least 3 minutes: Any less than that lowers the number of disease-fighting antioxidants.

48. Use watercress in your salad: A study from the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition reveals that eating 3 ounces of watercress every day increases levels of the cancer-fighting anti-oxidants lutein and beta-carotene by 100 and 33 percent, respectively.

49. Enjoy your joe: Brooklyn College researchers recently discovered that drinking 4 cups of coffee a day lowers your risk of dying of heart disease by 53 percent. If you like Starbucks, choose a Caffè Americano: A grande counts as 4 cups and contains just 15 calories.

50. Ask for the heel: Bread crust has up to eight times more pronyl lysine — an antioxidant that fights cancer — than what's in the center. Similarly, the skin of produce is loaded with healthy nutrients, too.

Monday, November 16, 2009


"Who am I?" When we pose this question upon ourselves, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the countries we are from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. And while there are many of us that come into the world knowing who we are and why they are here, most gay men don’t fall into that category. I was watching

THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB  this weekend, and there was a line that hit me and it reads as follows: IF YOU WEREN’T GAY, WHAT WOULD YOUR IDENTITY BE?

Sunday, November 15, 2009


Many people, in heeding the guidance of their souls, find themselves clinging to the idea of a supreme being; and while we are all entitled to our own beliefs, I can’t help but wonder if such a belief has thrown them over the edge and into the abyss? Most claim to be GOD FEARING & ALL LOVING, but are paralyzed by putting their beliefs into action. How does an individual thrust themselves into the known, sure of what they will encounter but do the TOTAL opposite of what they should? I suppose the belief in THEIR god is all that is required to secure a spot for them on the other side…right?

As far as I'm concerned, if their god exists, then he/she is INCREDIBLY remote and totally indifferent and irrelevant to our existence. We care less about us as a species let alone as individuals, so why cement a belief in a GOD that asks us to do so? Their inaction would have me point the finger @ religion, particularly religious fundamentalism. Though I believe that religion to some extent is the major factor in this, refutation of it wouldn’t make humanity more human. They use GOD & RELIGION as tools to satisfy the twisted way they move in this world. Can I blame them?

Most believe that morality becomes relative and arbitrary without the belief in and fear of an angry vengeful god; because who can live a life where "anything goes"? Their belief may be rooted in lie, but is it an essential lie? After all with threats of hellfire and eternal damnation, it keeps all in line…right? They can cite their god’s words with fervor because they believe he wants us dazed and confused…It is SO obvious that they will NEVER take their god seriously until they can put their beliefs into action. For far too long they’ve talk the talk, but when are they going to walk the talk?

Saturday, November 14, 2009


"I Will Remember You" is a song written by Sarah McLachlan, Seamus Egan and Dave Merenda. The song first appeared on the soundtrack to the movie The Brothers McMullen in 1995, and was featured on her remix album Rarities, B-Sides and Other Stuff. It became a hit when McLachlan released a live version of the song from her 1999 album Mirrorball placing at #14 in the US on July 20, 1999, after reaching the Top 40 on June 8. The song also earned McLachlan a Grammy Award in 1999.

The Rarities version of the song has three verses, the first of which is omitted during live performances (as heard on Mirrorball). This song was covered by Kenny Rogers on his 1999 album, "She Rides Wild Horses", and by Lil' Crazed for his song "I Will Remember You (Graduation Song)". Sarah McLachlan performed this song during an "in memoriam" slide show at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards, held on September 20, 2009.

This song brings such comfort to the soul and it provides those listening to it with the LOVE  and COMFORT they would need to carry themselves from day to day. When I hear this song, I often think of lost and pain, but by the end of the song I find happiness and joy...So don't resist the need to bask in the warmth of the message of the song...

Thursday, November 12, 2009



…You know the disturbing epidemic that has been affecting humanity for years?


…Because your self-worth is COMPLETELY tied up in your views about how you should be living your life on a material level?


…Just because you need to feel certain about your economic situation?


…Even though there are billions of us living here?


…Despite the fact that we are all the same?

When I think of individuals that have a sense of entitlement, I often think about how they cause their egos to become so much of who they are. When we really think about it, money, class AND material things are NOT the principle things in our psyches that separate us from each other…it is the EGO! @ Its most basic, the ego is simply a tool that helps us organize the various aspects of our lives so we can function in the world. In a sense, the ego is simply a way for us to understand and attend to ourselves @ the same time as we understand and attend to the world around us. However, due to the sense of entitlement most of us have, we’ve allowed our egos to be depicted in an almost demonic figure that keeps us from realizing the TRUE nature of humanity.

When this occurs, the higher self loses control of the psyche. The psyche then falls under the leadership of the ego, an entity that was never meant to lead. The ego is meant to be definitively in the service of the higher self. When this relationship is functioning, the ego is a useful mediator representing the whole self but not thinking that it is the whole self. Thus, the sense of entitlement renders the ego helpless as it becomes a separate entity called “I”

When the “I” syndrome is born, we then have law-abiding, moral people do things in retaliation that they wouldn’t dream of ever doing. Can you imagine the boss of a company telling his staff that he pays the same price for bread as they do so he doesn’t see why they would need a raise in pay? Worse yet, can you imagine him doing that EVERYDAY you worked there?

Does this make you wonder who truly determines the value of an individual human being when folks like him started to categorize other people’s worth in terms of what they have? He obviously has NO respect for himself so you can imagine where humanity falls in that scenario…He feels that he worked hard for his money, so why should he have to simply give more of it away? So when he sees his employees trying to get where he is he puts a stop to them because he and only he can have what he has. Such fun playing GOD the sense of entitlement brings huh? Talk about sabotaging humanity…

The question of whether he deserves what he has is not really in our jurisdiction because the sense of entitlement plays itself out in ways we can’t fully comprehend…on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. And what I do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are the way they should be.

So those of us that are @ the bottom of the perceived totem pole consciously acknowledge your worth AND realize that the sense of entitlement does NOT define life. There will always be pressure from the world outside us to gain material success and security. Material security is an illusion, that lulls us into a false feeling of confidence AND the sense of entitlement. Our sense of self-worth is defined by something that is more true and constant than the external world. Any materialistic person knows that the return is greater when it is used for the good of those around us…IF ONLY WE ALL COULD SEE OURSELVES AS A PALPABLE FORCE RATHER THAN INTRANSIENT GOODS THAT HAVE THE POWER TO SERVE THE EGO THE WAY IT SHOULD BE SERVED…

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


As humans we are grounded and comforted by the support system we have in family and friends. We rely on those within our community to help us and be there in times of joy AND sorrow. However, living in this world, humanity has LOST that sense of being each other’s keeper; and it has created a rift among us that will take all of us to repair. Though this rift bothers me because it is destroying the world on as a whole, it BOTHERS ME EVEN MORE WHEN I SEE THE TANGIBLE DISCONNECTIONS WITHIN THE GAY COMMUNITY; WE HAVE A TERRIBLE LACK OF UNITY!

Because of the lack of knowing who we are coupled with pettiness, MOST of us have NO problems selling out a fellow gay man/woman. Why is that? Why is it SO easy?

Just the other day a friend of mine who happens to be a lesbian was fighting for her right to hold onto her sexuality. You see she has a long time friend of hers that is going through a nasty divorce and her husband is trying to use her sexuality as a tool in the divorce. Despite me begging my friend NOT to get involved, she being who she is couldn’t help but offer her support even though this friend of hers pretty much threw away their friendship years ago. I guess she came to the only person she knew would help her no matter what. However in the process her husband would follow her and bring MAJOR drama along with him. Him not knowing my friend and the fact that he could NOT intimidate her got to him. He made threats but was NEVER man enough to lay a finger on her…though she wished he did…

One day things came to a boiling point and she phoned me…she told me that he came to the Salvation Army property where she volunteers and was bringing drama unlike anything she has seen before. So I went to meet her and by the time I got there he was gone. I took her to the police station for her to lodge a complaint. After that he started following her everywhere she went…she wasn’t afraid, but it did keep her on her guard. After a few days she decided to bind him over the peace (get a restraining order against him). He then in turn returned her with the same sentiment and this is when things turned interesting…

You see she had NO idea that he would bring a fellow lesbian to testify about her character during the court case. When she realized this, she was HIGHLY upset. Not because she had something to hide, but because she COULDN’T believe that a gay person would do something like this to another. This lady got on the stand and lied through her teeth and I find it SO amazing…guess we all want to belong and when we get our chance to be kinda accepted by society, we just grab it…right? Nonetheless, to this VERY day she still is hurt by that. I kept trying to tell her that you can’t hold people against themselves when you really think long and hard about humanity. Even though she has won her case against this man, I think that this has placed a cap on her willingness to help others…ESPECIALLY if her sexuality comes into the equation. After losing her job for being an activist for gay rights and having those who marched with her leave her behind when she needed their support, shouldn’t she tire of the tire marks from that damn bus?

Though I am ALL for unity, I’ve come to realize that it simply wont happen for us in the gay community, but given a reason to stand up and fight I will! I unlike her am not surprised by the actions of those around us in the community. I retained my optimism and freed myself from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening my heart AND mind to a wide variety of possible outcomes for us. I figure if I free myself of this notion, it becomes easier to enjoy the day when we realize how profoundly blessed we are.

Monday, November 9, 2009


The idea of homosexuality, and of men dealing with it, can be a natural AND contemporary thing; and though there are honest bonds between straight AND homosexual men, I tend to befriend men that are homosexual in nature. Now I know that cannot be a healthy way to live, but living in a world where I am NOT seen as a valuable member of the male species can you blame me? I’ve learned over the years how to compartmentalize my sexuality AND avoid creating any type of friendship with hetero men. As a self assured gay man, the idea of giving the hetero man that much power over me is unsettling; and I’ve often wondered if there ever will be a way to TRULY NORMALIZE friendships/alliances between homosexual AND homosexual men?

Homosexual and heterosexual men have ALWAYS had a strained relationship. One of the biggest strains if NOT THE SINGLE BIGGEST STRAIN between us is caused by the confusion about our outright disregard for the sexual boundaries of heterosexual men. Homosexual expression between adult men has always been thought of as a minority occurrence, so while homosexual males have to deal with straight males throughout their lives, heterosexual males have limited experience dealing with male homosexuality. Further, for the better part of human history, homosexual expression between adult men has been forbidden or scorned, so heterosexual males weren’t supposed to know how to deal with male homosexuality. So with homosexuality going against the rules, is there a need to establish rules for interacting socially with homosexuals?

If we as men are to interact as peers and friends in a society that forbids homosexuality, how does one establish some universal ground rules when it is only acceptable to appreciate a hetero man from a distance? Be it your personal barber OR doctor, it is BIG NO-NO to offer him an innocent compliment, no matter the nature of the accolade. A friendly handshake with a slight hug is usually accepted, but anything beyond that WILL be misconstrued as a sexual advance and it WILL run the risk of taking things in the area feared by both hetero and homo men alike. But what is this area exactly? Moreover, why does it exist?

The reason it exists is one of THE BIGGEST stereotype of all. The notion that most gay men can’t OR don’t refrain from hitting on straight men is simply NOT TRUE! The REAL stereotype is the tendency for them to see us ONLY through the lens of sexual orientation. Despite THE FACT that some homosexual males like to imagine they could “turn” any straight man OR that all straight men secretly have homosexual fantasies…they have NO right to place all of us in that box…And the same thing can be said for the homosexual that take advantage of THE FACT, that some straight men are more “available” than others…If we are to establish a common ground with each other instead of just making assumptions about one another, isn’t time that we open our minds to the fact that sexuality though it may be a scary thing, is THE most human element we all share?

But before we can share this element with each other, we need to establish THE ONE element that is essential to any meaningful friendship and that’s TRUST! We need to be able to trust that we aren’t scheming to secretly poke him in the butt AND that he isn’t trying to put a knife in ours…By building TRUST, both sides can understand AND respect each other’s sexuality…Until then, I will stay in my compartmentalized part of the world…