¿IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

I have a question that has been nagging @ me for quite some time. This question is one that I feel can make one @ times feel a bit overwhelm by its presence, yet most of us do nothing about it. And it seems as if each day presented greater challenges than the day before. So here’s my question: CAN ANYONE TELL IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BELIEVING IN GOD & HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM?

Now for me I definitely believe there is a God; however given my sexuality others would say that I cannot have a relationship with him. There was a time in my life when I actually gave life to that theory because I felt that they were right. Moreover, they were Christians so they must have a better relationship with God and have ALL the answers as far as he is concerned…RIGHT? 

I often find that what conventional wisdom do not always mean a thing OR applies to everyone. Therefore, I beg to question how can I be on this planet and NOT have some sort of relationship with the creator? Isn't this notion just crazy AND empty? It is SO sad that we live in a world that expects EVERYONE to WALK THE TALK and serve God in ways they deem fit. I get that, but I am sorry because I decline to bow down to their rules AND regulations.

I remember when I was @ a breaking point; I questioned and cried so many times that I am sure that God must have heard me. I felt broken AND angry that God had placed so much on my plate by allowing my sexuality to be and I could not understand how OR why he would do that and NOT have a relationship with me. Only as time went on and life became a bit clearer I understood that he was not like what the world makes him out to be. HOW CAN HE BE? It does not fit NOR does it make sense for a supreme being to create us in this world and say hey you are ONLY human but I expect you to live up to this image @ all times. I find it so difficult to accept that the persons that say OR believe that they are alright with God act so inhumane that it will make a person sit AND wonder. But no matter I am sure that they believe that they have a relationship with our maker nonetheless.