If there was even a tiny, lingering hope that True Blood would
stick the landing of its final season, that likely evaporated in tonight's
episode. In what's become commonplace on True Blood, several storylines (of the
show's many, many storylines) reached fairly unsatisfying conclusions. To put
it in Chekhov terms: When True Blood introduces a gun in the first act, rest
assured that gun will shoot a little "Bang!" flag and be forgotten in
the second.
Let's rehash the latest goings-on in Bon Temps together.
Sarah Newlin (Anna Camp) is still in the throes of her ghosts of
relationships past meltdown when Eric (Alexander Skarsgård), Pam (Kristin Bauer
van Straten) and the Yakuza arrive. While going full-tilt crazy, she convinces
herself she is the Messiah and needs to die to rise again. Her wish is almost
granted when she goes out and is snatched up by Eric. Resisting the urge to
slaughter her immediately (and with pressure from Pam), he instead takes a drink
and is cured of his Hep-V.
With Sarah in tow, they return to Fangtasia. The Yakuza scientists
are able to synthesize Sarah’s blood into a cure buuuuuuuuut it’ll be better
for sales if it’s not exactly the best cure. It’s a stronger business model if
sick vamps need a steady stream of New Blood to stay well. Bill and Pam can’t
tell anyone there’s a real cure available. Thanks a lot, Big Vampire Pharma.
Someone who needs no encouragement to get hooked on a blood
product? Lettie Mae (Adina Porter). The family who lives in the home she was
digging up with Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) called the Rev. Daniels (Gregg Daniel)
to come pick them up. I guess the family wasn’t really excited about these two
tripping balls in their front yard. James (Nathan Parsons) arrives, ready to
send Lettie and Lala on their next trip, and, somehow, Lettie Mae convinces the
Reverend to join them.
All three share a vision of Tara (Rutina Wesley) while hopped-up on
V. It’s a flashback to one of Tara’s early birthdays. During the celebration,
her father shows up, and he’s enraged that Lettie spent so much money on a
party and didn’t invite him. When he starts to beat Lettie, lil’ Tara runs
upstairs to fetch the gun she stole from him. She comes down and takes aim at
her abusive father, but then reconsiders and buries the gun in the yard. That
was the day her dad left her mom and Lettie fell apart.
Back in the present day/reality-ish, ghost Tara and her mom do the
same “I’m sorry!”/“No, I’m sorry!” routine they’ve been doing for seemingly
ever. But this time, it’s for real, once and for all. Everyone forgives
everyone and Tara moves on to the ghost world and alright already, geez.
Goodbye, ghost Tara. Off you go to that cage fight in the sky.
Elsewhere in Bon Temps, Hoyt (Jim Parrack) is getting sauced while
going through his mother’s things. Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is there too, for some
reason, but he’s got to jet once he receives a text from Violet (Karolina
Wydra) featuring a bound and teary Adilyn (Bailey Noble) and Jessica (Deborah
Ann Woll). Hoyt’s stupid, stupid gf chooses that whatever urgent, deadly,
vampire-laden police business Jason was called into is better than a surly
drunk boyfriend. What? Sure.
They arrive at Violet’s sex castle and Hoyt’s lady waits in the
car. Jason enters and is almost immediately captured. He’s chained up along
with Jessica, Adilyn and Wade (Noah Matthews). Then, Violet details all the
exceptionally grotesque ways she plans to torture the group like a sexy Bond
villain. Before she can finish her dramatic monologue (that threw shade not
only at Cleopatra, but also Helen of Troy), Hoyt appears and shoots her with a
wooden bullet straight through the heart. Bye, Violet! Hope you like cage
fights!
Jessica and Hoyt (who,
again, can’t remember her or Jason) share a tender moment. Jason gives her a
lift home, and they decide they should just be friends. Sexy, sexy friends. The
next day, Hoyt sidles up to Jason at Bellefleur’s and asks if he’s dating Jess.
Now that they’ve conveniently clarified the extent of their sexy, sexy
friendship, Hoyt is free to make (remake?) his move. He shows up at Chez Compton
with some of his fresh, clean blood and extend his sympathy for Jessica losing
a parental figure. But! He still loves his not-so-smart girlfriend and he’s
leaving in two days. So, bye. For now?
Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Bill (Stephen Moyer) have been having
deathbed sex, and, while basking in the afterglow, Sookie decides now is the
time to ask a few questions. Remember how we all learned that Bill was sent
specifically to spy on Sookie all those years ago and we never really addressed
it? Well, we got our explanation. Bill thought all his humanity was gone, then
Queen Sophie Ann (Evan Rachel Wood) sent him to figure out if Sookie was fae so
she could capture and breed her. Except! Twist! Getting to know her taught him
to love again, or whatever.
There’s not a ton of time to be romanced, since Bill is still
definitely dying. That’s when Eric shows up to be all like “Hey Sook, check me
out. Totes not dying anymore. Super cured. Cool, right?” Sookie, obviously, is
incredibly interested in how Eric got cured, but Eric can’t spill the details.
It’s just like those Bush’s Best Baked Beans commercials. Exactly like that.
Eric promises he’ll be back the next night.
Sookie, never deterred, drives herself down to Fangtasia. The
Yakuza isn’t so fond of unexpected guests, so they march her in to see Eric and
Mr. Gus (Will Yun Lee). Eric tries to play it off like Sookie is some
delusional fangbanger, and then he pretends to glamour her. While pretending to
be glamoured, she hears Mr. Gus think about whatever he has in the basement,
which is just the information she needs. She heads back through the convenient
Underground Railroad back entrance to find Sarah Newlin chained up in the
basement. Even though Sarah is the cure, Sookie is not risking her getting free
and causing any more damage.
Instead, she brings Bill and Jessica back to Fangtasia to drink
straight from the source. Just as he’s about to sink his fangs in, he decides
he doesn’t want to live any longer.
What? Huh? This show, you guys. With two episodes left, will Bill
have yet another change of heart?
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