Most people feel like they eventually grow apart from their
partners, and the majority of them have trouble finding the cause. The
honeymoon phase isn’t going to last forever and when you see the end of it on
the horizon, unless you consciously resist it from depleting, you’re bound to
enter a new chapter. This is when the real test starts.
Growing a part doesn’t mean you or he has changed. You’re still the
same people. There’s nothing wrong with entering a new phase so long as you
embrace it for what it is. A personality is hard to change without an external
cause. As the pressures of life expand, our character either grows with it or
becomes suppressed in its own puddle of fear. In other words, it’s the things
happening outside the relationship that often create the divide. Not you. Or
him.
Life isn’t like a novel, but rather a collection of short stories.
Our experiences are full of many different phases and chapters, and most of
them have nothing to do with the other. They exist as their own arch and rarely
intersect, but as a whole they act as a springboard towards an underlying
theme. If we don’t mourn or embrace the end of each phase or chapter, we’re
never going to be led to the next.
The feeling of progression is often confused for conflict leading
to an ending. Trust me, it’s not. After years of a continuous pattern, whenever
it shifts it’s normal to feel like something is wrong. Our natural reaction is
to question it, leading to an even bigger divide that was already there. The
term “growing apart” makes us believe that our once happy relationship is
coming to an end, but in reality it might not mean this at all.
Two smart men with great heads on their shoulders are able to
surpass the hump if they communicate with each other. The whole point of a
relationship is to be each other’s biggest supporters. We all reach a moment
when we feel like we’re growing apart, but instead of thinking it as a means to
an end, consider it a test. Come together to discuss what needs to happen
around the relationship, not so much in it.
Don’t let any big decision happen without consulting each other
first. Start saying “we” instead “me.” Stop going to bed at different times in
the night. Start enjoying each other’s company again and never let outside
forces create an unnecessary argument. He’s the same person you fell in love
with, except now he’s at a different part of his life – but so are you.
Now is the time for you to make a decision. Should you stay and
embrace the new phase you’re entering or should you throw in the towel? At some
point we all must face change. Growing apart doesn’t mean you want different
things or that your personalities are shifting. We all react to worldly
challenges in a multitude of ways, which always creates friction in a
relationship. Instead of looking inside the relationship, shift focus on what’s
happening to it. Perhaps the thing affecting you is directly in front of your
nose.
Certainly one's relationship with one's partner changes over time. You both mature in different ways. Sickness or other matters can change the way you relate. But through all these each one should be able to make the adjustments, that become necessary. I remember the day the specialist said to my partner, in my presence, "I give you twelve months." He died just three months later. Thanks for your visits and comments. Hugs across the seas, Patrick
ReplyDeletethanks for your comments and your blogs
Delete