NO ANAL SEX PLEASE, WE'RE GAY

It can seem like all gay men are obsessed with the ass and that fucking is our raison d’être, but not everyone is as focused on anal-gazing as you might think. Is anal sex the be all of a gay man’s sex life? And what’s it like out there for those who say “no” to bum sex?

Trusting before a thrusting

Anal sex is a deeply intimate thing – the deepness dependent on the guy of course. While to some fucking or getting fucked is a purely lust-driven experience and, to some extent, ‘no big deal’, to others it’s something very personal which requires an inordinate amount of trust in their sex-partner.

Keeping it clean

There’s no getting around it, bumming can be a hygiene minefield. It takes the right timing, douching and showering – for a bottom it’s never just a cum ‘n’ go experience, it’s a full-blown project. Because when the cleanliness is bad, it can lead to a really shitty time. Literally.

I’m just not that into you

Sometimes the reason behind the lack of behind is simple: it’s not a turn on. Anal sex can quite literally be a pain in the ass but luckily there are many different ways to be pleasured. It’s not for everyone and, as they aptly say, it’s different strokes for different folks.

Bad experiences

One bad experience can put you off trying anal sex for a lifetime. It can be trickier than forgetting about it and moving on. Sometimes the situation can be a lot more serious and lead to much more damage physically and mentally.

App-lying expectations

As is stated in every gay-themed article in every gay magazine published post-2010, mobile dating apps have made it much easier for gay men to find sex. This is obviously wonderful, but it has brought with it a refined way of searching for a hook-up, which can mean men can look for one thing only.

Not everyone should have anal sex and not everyone wants it. There’s so much to try on the sex buffet that bumming needn’t be the obvious jizz-generating ‘go to’, A good number of gay men, especially younger guys, struggle with societal pressures which lead them to believe that a critical part of being a gay man is the practice of anal sex, and they end up believing that anal sex is something they should be enjoying simply because they are attracted to other men. These are false and unnecessary pressures that lead some gay men, reluctantly, into having anal sex so as not to stand out from the rest of the gay community – one man’s pleasure can often be another man’s pain!

Rather than worrying about what kind of sex we think we should be having with our partners, more important – and natural – is to work out a healthy and satisfying sexual dynamic that fits both. Rather than conforming to the often unrealistic expectations of the gay community, and indeed of our wider culture, listen to the evidence of your own senses and you may just surprise yourself in discovering what really makes you tick, sexually.”

SOURCE: GMFA