Although Sunday’s episode of True Blood is
titled “Dead Meat,” none of our regulars actually perish. (Not even Arlene,
whose hangover from last week’s bender I could’ve imagined being lethal.)
However, Sookie does make a decision that at first makes her pulse race and
eventually will stop her heartbeat altogether. WTH? Read on. I’ll explain…
LUCKY STIFF | At
Sookie’s request, Barlow agrees to help Billith save all our contract fangers
from the Sun Parlor of Doom, provided that a) Billith doesn’t kill him
afterward, and b) she consents to become his vampire bride. And, while the half
fairy is fine with the first demand, the second one, she grapples with
— mightily. She reaches out to Jason (via a tearful voice-mail message),
tells Sam that she imagined a future for them (at just about the worst moment
possible — more on that later) and finally visits her parents’ gravesite,
having concluded that she’d “rather walk the earth as a corpse” than be laid to
rest next to them. (Ouch.) But, when the bride-to-be gets all dolled up
— it’s a nice day for a black wedding! — and takes Billith to fairy land, Barlow
appears to be (but c’mon, can’t actually be) dead! Maybe he’s just a bloody
napper?
V FOR VENDETTA |
Meanwhile, Eric — reeling from Nora’s gory demise — lashes out at Billith,
then sets in motion his own plan to (presumably) save Pam and Co., and bring
down Vamp Camp. Step 1: interrupt Adilyn’s topless make-out session with
Holly’s son, Wade, to drink her fae blood and become a daywalker. Step 2: er,
TBD. (That said, wouldn’t you have thought Step 2 would be accepting Adilyn’s
thanks for interrupting the aforementioned topless make-out session with Wade?
She can do better. Just wait till they reopen the fairy Studio 54.)
WILD KINGDOM | After
smacking down would-be packmistress Rikki and her gang of hirsute Pink Ladies,
Alcide returns Nicole and her mother to Sam. The good news (because it
certainly isn’t Nicole’s safe return): Now the fellas are pals again. The bad
news: The fellas have (literally) sniffed out that, unbeknownst to Nicole,
she’s pregnant. So, when Sookie comes by Merlotte’s to throw a Hail Mary pass
Sam’s way, he’s in the middle of telling the clueless mom-to-be that he loves
her, she can’t leave Bon Temps, etc., etc.
ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS |
Arlene is all kindsa verklempt when Lafayette reveals to her that, days before
his passing, Terry took out a $2 million life insurance policy. She’s even more
agitated when her husband’s family tries to include a 21-gun salute in the
shooting victim’s funeral proceedings. (So tasteful.) Yet, in the end, she’s
convinced to keep the money and let Terry’s killer go.
THE HARD CELL | Back
in Vamp Camp, Violet — who’s so tough that she isn’t even cowed by Pam
— makes Jason her bitch. “Please don’t rape me,” he whimpers. (She doesn’t
— for now, he’s just her private bag lunch.) James saves Steve from drinking
the tainted Tru Blood, so of course, in return, the lily-livered ex-reverend
thanks him by spilling his guts to Sarah. And, after brutally murdering the Tru
Blood boss lady aca-armed with only religious fervor and an impractical
stiletto, Sarah has Steve, James, et al ushered into the Sun Parlor of Doom…
Okay, your turn. What
did you think of the episode?
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