A.I.D.S. ~ DYING TO STAY ALIVE

NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CHOOSE TERMINAL ILLNESS AS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE, BUT IT CAN BE A RICH ONE. It’s like buying green bananas, with a sense that you would still be here when they are ripe. Most of us do not know when we have an appointment with mortality and how important every moment truly is. But life strange as it is takes the time to teach all of us lessons and it can either make or break us. BUT PERSONS THAT ARE INFECTED WITH THE H. I. V. VIRUS HAS TO GET A GRIP AND VALUE LIFE FOR THEIR SAKE.

If H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. were an animal it would be a fire ant. You don't even notice them until there's a big mound of them in your backyard. One's nothing, but en masse they cause horrible damage and can wreck your house and even kill you. You need to control them before it gets to that point. And persons that are infected with this PREDATOR needs to ensure that they are taking proper care of themselves; for this disease is a life unto itself and it will take you out. YOU ARE PRACTICALLY DYING TO STAYING ALIVE! This isn’t an easy battle and will take all that you have in you to fight it, but there needs to be a STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM for individuals that are dealing with terminal illness. For us here in this community there is still a stigma attached to who this disease belongs to. And this is the biggest problem facing HIVpositive people in OUR community today. Hence we have persons that wish not to live and just give up and die. It would be nice if this stigma would change and persons educate themselves fully about the WHAT, WHERE, WHO & WHY. I am the first to admit that in the beginning, this was a crisis. People were very sick, and no one knew why – now that we have tons of information about the disease we need to move onto the next phase of LIVING and help persons to live. I think that in order for persons to survive this disease we need to move from the idea of just survival; though survival is the LONG TERM GOAL, I feel that there needs a STRONG emphasis placed on disease management. Looking into the crystal ball of the future and the psychology of the persons that are dealing with this battle; I’ve found that ANTISCIPATION IS MUCH BETTER THAN REACTION. Too many persons in this community are in such a hurry to leave this beautiful planet to join the great multitude white robed individuals that await them upon death. I know that I am asking these people to find in themselves to FIGHT THIS FIGHT and not give up, but how can I not? I am aware of the hypersensitivity that goes along dealing with burden; all smells are amplified, tastes, and sensations. The inability to eat and how food doesn’t seem at all appealing, but we are homosapians and we dominated this planet for thousands of years and why give up now? Instead they isolate themselves hoping that death would claim them, I can’t say that I blame them; who wants to live a life vulnerable to infections or conditions that others may have, because of a drastically low immune system? But I say that GOD wants each and every one of us to become pioneers for this cause and persons that are infected should lead the charge without shame and with great dignity. I do and I weep for you everyday. I imagine how scared and alone you must feel in this battle; the sound of being in a hospital listening to the daily "CODE BLUE"; the man in the next room who pitifully sobs: "I don't want to be here, I want to go home; please, I don't want to be here; please, let me go home"; a woman whose mother is in her final decline, and oh so much more. It’s amazing how the freshness of grief triggers a person’s conscious and wakes them up to the reality of their plight.

I know that this disease is about LIFE VS. DEATH, but I want persons that are fighting this battle to acknowledge that though the world is dark, you are here to create light. However, the sad thing about this disease is that it causes more stress on an individual. Hence, this stress erodes immune function and hastens the onset of A. I. D. S. This stress brings on depression that is often undiagnosed and untreated in people with HIV because many of the symptoms are common to symptomatic HIV disease. Nonetheless, we are strong and even though our bodies have gone somewhat haywire; we cannot give up. I know that the beautiful mornings will come and you can proudly wear your battle scars; indicating that you can indeed live for a longer period, perhaps long enough to die from something that is not H. I. V. or A. I. D. S. related. This life is a blessing and do not take for granted. It is a precious gift, from GOD and accept that every morning you wake up is the beginning of a very good day. Keep and open heart and mind, for you cannot fathom how many lives you have touched. For the changes in physical appearance and capabilities mean very little to those who see your shining spirit. Devote every fiber of your being to survival, because it is what you need to becoming well again. The power of the mind is great, and I know that everyone's illness is different. In addition, I know that all of us feel the fear, but TRUE courage is not the absence of fear, it is doing what one must with strength and integrity in spite of the fear. Moreover, please remember that while no one else can know what an individual can endure, or would desire at each changing stage of an illness. Please note that the pain is necessary but manageable, suffering is not forever. SO IF YOU ARE DYING TO STAY ALIVE, I say maintain a stress-free existence, eliminate the people and the situations that causes stress and change the mindset so that those people or situations do not encourage stress in the MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT! REMEMBER, THIS DISEASE DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. H. I. V. ~ A. I. D. S. CANNOT CRIPPLE LOVE, SHATTER HOPE, SHAKE FAITH, DESTROY PEACE, KILL FRIENDSHIP; SUPPRESS MEMORIES, SILENCE COURAGE, INVADE THE SOUL, STEAL ETERNAL LIFE OR CONQUER THE SPIRIT!