I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Friday, March 10, 2023


In gay culture, there are two worlds. The one that exists in the gym, and the one that exists outside of it. And to be honest, one world couldn’t exist without the other. In my opinion, all the thrills and excitement lies within the world that exists at the gym. Us gays even kick that thrill factor up several notches. There’s so much to experience at the gym as a gay man; networking, socializing and making new friends, actually getting a great workout in… and then there’s the cruising aspect of it all. The sauna and steam room is a world within itself at the gym. But one of the things that makes the gym so special, something that everyone can relate to — is a gym crush.

Whether you think anything would ever come of it, they may be gay or straight, in a relationship or not, not into quick hook-ups (what a fucking bummer) — everyone has that one someone at the gym that makes their heart flutter when you see them. You hope that they see you in your “cute” gym outfit. If anyone is going to offer you a spot, you beg to the gay gods that it’s them. If you’re in an empty locker room and someone just so happens to have the locker directly next to yours, ugh… it better be your gym crush! But we’re not just living in a Mariah Carey “Fantasy” land here, love and lust does exist in the gym. You could either bust a nut, get your ass busted open, or open your heart to a new serious romance — anything is possible once you get those endorphins going.

So what happens if/when your gym crush decides to pull the trigger, and actually hits on you? You can’t fumble the ball in this situation (that’s a sports reference, meaning you can’t mess up this opportunity. I pretended to be into sports for a while). How are you going to act? What will you say? It’s a lot to process for sure, but there are a few ways to play this. Let’s take a look at our options.


But don’t act like you just won Jeopardy either. Yes, your gym crush is a prize in a sense. But you’re worthy of this moment, so don’t act like your gym crush hitting on you is the highlight of your life. After all, you were cute enough for them to have an interest in you to approach you for starters. o be confident in that. Try to take a few deep breaths without hyperventilating in front of your crush, compose yourself and just let them know that you were unsure if the feeling is mutual, but you’re glad that they made a move. Don’t be too eager or enthusiastic though, it can come across as thirsty. It might lead to you getting ghosted and your gym crush switching up the hours that they workout in an effort to avoid running into you.


This one can get a bit tricky. You have to really use your intuition and detective skills to figure out what type of vibe your gym crush is going for. You don’t want to do or say anything that will completely make them regret hitting on you in the first place. Don’t be too forward or crass, maybe they’re not into the no-strings-attached sauna scene. Don’t let them know that you’re a hoe right off bat. That’ll be a bonus for them if they’re lucky. But you have to play the long game here. Maybe it takes a couple of days or weeks, maybe even months. But the small talk after the initial introduction will hopefully turn into regular casual talk. And you’ll have a better sense of their personality and what they’re into. If you truly like your gym crush and want more with them, then you want both of your worlds to collide, ask him out on a date (that’s if he hasn’t already asked you). See if the chemistry flows outside of the gym as well. Get to know them on a more personal level. But if you see him coming out of the sauna, pitching a tent in his towel — bitch go suck that dick in the showers. Someone else is touching all over your man in the gym!


You have to be ready to accept the fact that your gym crush, may not be the one. For whatever reason. He may not be into you (in that way), after getting to know you. Or he may just be off the market but is a huge flirt and wants something casual and short term. Listen, we don’t judge here — he could be cheating or in an open relationship, that’s up to you to find out! But you have to know that something may come out of this romantically, sexually or just platonically. Honestly, if you end up just being friends with your gym crush, I still consider that a win. He’ll still get naked in front of you in the locker room, because y’all are homies now. So the idea of dating him is no longer being dangled in front of your face, but girl you’ll still be able to see something dangling as he wraps that towel around him to hit the showers.


I think this is the biggest thing to consider, you may actually find love! And with new love, comes a new life. You have to anticipate, on some scale, that your life can very well possibly change. I’ve seen it countless times, where a budding gay relationship has developed at the gym and it moves very fast. Your social calendar changes because you’re constantly with your new gym boo. Are we considering moving in together or what? Is this a cute moment in time or are we thinking more long term? So many big life moments can stem from this one gym encounter. It’s something to keep in the back of your mind.

So many different scenarios can develop from your gym crush hitting on you. You may find a new friend, a new fuck buddy or the new love of your life. You might even find yourself having some new haters at the gym, you know you weren’t the only one eyeing that man… right? Whatever the outcome, remember to be confident and have some swag in the very beginning. You’re worthy of it. But if things don’t go the way you expected and/or hope, be adult enough to still share that gym turf with them. The gym recruits new members monthly, there’s going to be new dick for you to obsess over in no time.


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