Being forced
to make excuses for not wanting to be social is a burden that can seem
unshakeable, but guess what, with adulthood comes the ability to just pick
something and proclaim that, no, I do not want to do that thing, and I can “I
prefer not to” the hell right out of it whenever you want to.
From roughly early school years, until you’re nothing but a fully deceased bag of bones,
we’re made to feel by TV commercials, shows, movies, and just strangers passing
by our windows peering in that if we don’t have hot and crazy plans for after
work and on weekends, we’re nerdy losers whose only source of oxygen comes from
the exhaled breaths of the 155 pets we live with.
I want to
suggest making a habit out of being honest with people in situations where they
ask you to do something that you really don’t want to do, but I know how hard
that is. But really, what other choice do you have? What’s so bad about being honest? I know that coming up with excuses is easier, and saves face on both ends as, I’m sure, no
one wants to feel like the person they’re trying to hang out with doesn’t want
to hang out with them. But I’d imagine it feels even worse to learn that
someone is hanging out with you when they would really rather be NOT hanging
out with you, or anyone, for that matter.
If handled
honestly, and gently, the people we do hang out with will be secure in the
understanding that we actually enjoy following through on plans with them.
There won’t be any question to this because, there we’ll be, hanging out with
them, and not on the sending end of a text that starts with “you’re gonna hate
me but…”
Honesty is
hard, but it’s a difficulty worth working toward.
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