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Wednesday, March 8, 2023


Hot sex isn’t always a surefire thing, even with an amazing partner. Sometimes your mind gets in the way. Sometimes physical issues interfere. Sometimes you might have boring sex.

What is boring sex?

“Different strokes for different folks” has never been a more appropriate saying. What makes sex “boring” is subjective. People have different tastes, needs, fetishes, and skill sets.

But if what was once a spontaneous, thrilling, robust sex life with your partner feels like it’s been replaced by obligatory intimacy, there are things you can do to get back in sync with each other.

First of all, don’t freak out. There are bright, throbbing lights at the end of this tunnel of boring sex. Whether you or your partner is dealing with physical or mental health issues, you’re having relationship woes, or you simply need to bring the sexy back, there are plenty of ways to return your sex life to its former glory.

Emotional causes of boring sex

Boring sex may not be related to the sex itself at all. Your mental health and happiness can have a big impact on your sexual satisfaction.

We need to talk: Relationship tensions

If your once-steamy romps have turned into snoozefests (or disappeared altogether), it may have to do with your emotional connection. One study suggested that greater emotional intimacy with a partner is linked to greater sexual desire.

You can start the conversation or talk to a couples’ counselor together to identify and work through any issues that may be holding you back from the sex of your dreams.

Libido vultures: Depression, anxiety, and ADHD

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or distressed in the streets, you’re probably not going to feel relaxed and playful in the sheets.

Depression and anxiety

Depression is linked to decreases in libido and in relationship satisfaction. According to a 2017 research review, depression is associated with a 50 to 70 percent increase in the risk of sexual dysfunction.

And even treatments for depression can have sexual side effects. Research suggests that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) medications, which are used to treat depression and anxiety, can make it difficult to get turned on, stay turned on, and reach orgasm.

What’s more, depression and anxiety can cause insomnia, which has been associated with sexual dysfunction in men and postmenopausal women.


Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition that causes symptoms like hyperactivity, and lack of focus.

ADHD has been associated with an unusually high sex drive (aka hypersexuality) — research suggests this often shows up as a constant need for sex and a voracious appetite for porn. ADHD is also associated with hyposexuality, a loss of desire for sex.

Physical causes of boring sex

A lack of variety in your sex life could be bringing boredom into your bedroom — or there could be something up with your bod.


Love hurts, and sex can too, especially for women. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reports that almost 3 in 4 women experience pain during intercourse at some point.

This pain can put a damper on doing the deed or keep you from seeking out sexy time at all. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it needs to be your new norm. Be open with your doctor about what you’re experiencing to get their advice on treatment methods.

Erectile dysfunction

Research suggests that erectile dysfunction is another common issue that can contribute to sexual frustration.


Exercising has lots of benefits for your health and well-being, and one of them is extra stamina in bed. Working on your fitness level, whatever that looks like for you, is a goal we can all get behind. And if it comes with the bonus of better sex, that’s all the more reason to break a sweat.


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