So many dating
apps and not one love! You know for a fact that you are a handsome guy, and
yet, few men come knocking on your virtual door. Have you been wondering why
that is? The thing is, my friend, that you can’t expect to attract hungry fish
only by exposing your dangling bait. Uploading a few profile photos and stating
your sexual preferences using gay slang vocabulary is not enough to make your
profile effective. Here is our suggestion how in four easy steps to turn your
dating profile into an enticing trip into your personality and life, so that more
guys would want to get to know you.
LET THEM SEE
YOUR FACE
The other day,
I overheard a guy in a bar talking about his Tinder experience. He was saying
that if a first photo is too far away, he just swipes left. “If I can’t see the
face, I instantly lose interest. I don’t really care to check the rest of their
photos, although they might be great.”
Yes, it’s all
about that first photo impression. It must be a spontaneous, candid headshot, -
not a staged one, not (too) photoshopped, and definitely not one that gives
passport vibes. It should be a close-up that would draw them into exploring the
whole gallery.
The ultimate
number of photos to upload is five. How to choose them? They have to represent
five areas of your life. After the nice first headshot, move to what you do
professionally, then a selfie with family members or friends, then a hobby of
yours, and finally, just pick a fun photo you really like.
IT’S OK TO
SHOW SOME SKIN
But not in a
shallow way. A cool picture in a T-shirt showing your arms, or some beach photo
from your last vacation proving that you’ve been no stranger to the gym will
give the guys out there an idea of what your body type is.
DON’T IGNORE
THE “ABOUT ME” SECTION
Unless you’re
looking only for sex, then you probably shouldn’t waste the other guys' time,
and yours too, talking about pets, sunsets, and hobbies, because the
one-night-standers will be interested only in your bed preferences and skills.
But if you’re seeking a true soulmate and a long-term relationship, the bio
section is your chance to stand out and shine bright. If you’re not sure how to
describe yourself, ask a trusted friend, one who won't spare you the truth, to
do it for you. But avoid third-person statements like, “My friends say I am
this and that”. A great bio shouldn’t resemble a job resume, but reveal
insights - your passions, priorities, guilty pleasures, and even embarrassing
habits, like googling yourself, being hooked on Skyrim, or flipping the pillow
to the cold side before going to sleep. Clichés, like “avid traveler”,
“foodie”, “gym rat”, etc. are boring. However, self-deprecating humor is always
a winning choice.
AVOID
DEROGATORY LANGUAGE
Alas, most gay
dating apps still allow racist and shaming language on their users’ profiles.
I’ve come upon recent research exploring how gay men perceive profiles that use
such language. And the results were astounding! For example, femmephobic guys
with “Mascs only”-type profiles are seen as less intelligent, less dateable,
and less sexually confident. It’s totally OK to fill out your preferred sexual
role, your HIV status (if applicable), and mention that you’re DDF, but stating
that you’re “not into Asians, and limp-wristed twinks” is but a display of
boorish attitude. You’d better say what you are into, and not what you aren't
into. Seriously, no one wants to date a jerk!
To sum up, the
most common red flags that signal lazy, low effort profiles are no close-ups of
the face, overuse of clichés, short or non-existing bios, and discriminatory
language. So, all you have to do to create an effective dating profile is
invest some time, effort, and thought into it, and you’ll be surprised at how
much you’ll get back in return. I mean, if you do it right, at some point
you’ll have to fight the boys off with a stick!
SOURCE: ANDREW CHRISTIAN
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