I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Sunday, August 28, 2022


It is dishonest to enter into a community with the idea that you are going to change or fix it.

A community, in the truest sense of the word, is a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. Usually when we say that we are a community, it is because we've found common ground. But most important part of this is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose a community, we try to fit others into our predetermined ideal. When they don't fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they've brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a group and hoping to change others is dishonest. I get that we can feel disappointed when others aren’t what we feel we need, but an honest community is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals and find a way to share our life experiences together.

By wanting to give others a makeover, we are basically saying we don't accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if others were only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that others can offer.

If we feel that a change is needed in our community, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our queer brothers and sisters for exactly who they are--the ideal and the not-so-ideal--we will create an energetic shift in our relationships and we may find ourselves really appreciating our communities for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one.

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