It’s easy to
see a relationship from the outside, but think of it from the other side: In a long-term relationship, a breakup
is tough and not just emotionally. There are many everyday reasons for
staying—convenience, routine, stability, habit, etc, all of these are real, important
and should not be underestimated or downplayed.
There’s a lot
of hard work that goes into a breakup. You probably have to move out, separate
your things, and become completely financially independent again. Maybe your
partner used to always handle the bills. Well, no more. Time to get a handle on that yourself!
It’s even more
complicated if you have pets. Who gets the dog? Then there’s friends. Can you
still hang out with “their” friends? Will they cut you out of their life
because of the breakup? Will it be weird if your old friends still want to keep
in contact with him?
Oh, and
family. You probably met their family. In fact, they might be just as (maybe
more) important to you as your own blood relatives. After a breakup though,
that newfound family probably won’t be around to support you.
So you already
have to split your life in two and you have the added stress of explaining your
choice to everyone around you. “There is the perception that you have to
justify your reasons for ending the relationship to others—friends, family—in a
way that makes sense to them. The pressure from friends, family, and society to stay together is hard to
overcome. And when you add in all the physical and emotional separation that
occurs with every breakup, a lot of people don’t want to go through that pain.
So they stay together with someone they know isn’t right simply because it’s
easier.
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