What do we do
when we’re in love? Logic seems to get blinded by our infatuation with this
other person which then might lead to illogical reasonings. Our attachment,
though it makes us feel good, can govern our decision making throughout our
time of commitment. We’re swept off our feet – hanging on a thread – lost in
love. But, damn it! It feels good, don’t it?
Everyone,
whether they care to admit it or not, wants to be in love – and if not, they
are very curious about what this “love” thing happens to feel like. Having
never been in love myself, I would have to say that I’m deeply curious.
I’ve come to understand that it’s not just about making someone a part of your
life, but it’s about having more than enough love for yourself to give back.
People have gone absolutely crazy over it. Wars have raged, companies have gone
bankrupt, careers have been destroyed and lives have been altered. The Romeo
and Juliet analogy of killing yourself for love, because a life without the one
you love is not a life worth living, has become an example of what the media
sells as the “right way to love.”
I’ve asked
numerous people who are currently in love what made this particular person
different than the rest. The responses I received were somewhat surprising to
me. The majority of them weren’t looking for love at all until it just happened
to arrive through an unlikely source directly in front of them. And since they
weren’t trying to push the emotional restraints of love upon this person, they
were able to be more themselves. Whereas prior, while searching for
their soul mate, they would try to force the intimacy – imitating their
favorite romantic comedy scenes or acting on what they thought the “loving
couple” should do: hold hands, cuddle, touch, whisper sweet nothings, but none
of it was genuine. Ultimately their attempts proved to be self-damaging,
forcing a feeling that was never really there, just to fit the mold of what
they thought love looked like and ending up being disappointed.
So what does
this say? It tells us that pretending will never bring us
success. It tells us by not trying to live up to a fake image of what love is,
we can enter a relationship whole and genuine. The times of being so in love
that we’re literally hanging on a thread or getting swept on our feet are over!
Who wants to be swept up off their feet anyway? Wouldn’t you rather be grounded
and standing, well aware of who you are and what you have to offer a person?
It’s safe to
say that although people try and debate their stance on love and what it all
means, the truth of the matter is that everyone wants what the basic human in
this world is searching for – Meaning.
It’s not
enough that we’ve got our work, our things and our pets, but to have a real
person laying in your bed with a heart and soul to appease your doubts in life,
to fill you with self-contentment, to remind you that life goes on and to
satisfy your needs emotionally and physically, is something that all people
must be idiotic to not want or question. However, I still can’t help but wonder
of the whole idea of L-O-V-E has been sold to us. Who knows the real answer?
This act or gesture of affection can only be satisfied by our imaginative
judgments. Love comes in the least expected places – real-life love
is less Romeo and Juliet and more Roseanne and Dan Conner; less Lucy and Ricky
and more Ozzy and Sharon; less Rose and Jack and more Neil Patrick Harris and
David Burtka.
To think that
love is like it is in the movies is foolish. Let’s stop comparing our own lives
to those that we idolize, because let’s face it, our lives aren’t written nor
scripted. This is the reality. Let’s love because WE are ready to, not because
we want to be put on a level of comparison to society.
Love with
your heart – just don’t give it away carelessly – You only have one, after all.
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