GAY MEN, ¿HOW ABOUT SOME SEXOLUTIONS?

Is this you: I'm old /
shy / fat / thin / etc. Am I destined to
always be alone? Are you
tired of just meeting guys to hook up? Do you want to be in a relationship but
the men you like aren't into you? How do you meet the kind of men you like and
get them to like you, too?

We all have qualities we can improve upon. Sometimes we feel
out of shape and want to work out more or improve our diets. Sometimes we see
that we need to be patient with our boyfriend, or remove ourselves from toxic
friends and environments that are bringing us down. That's all good stuff. It's
a part of life, of our personal evolution, and it's the way we make ourselves
better people. But when you start thinking there's something wrong with who you
are as a human being, and you're basing that judgment on your inability to get
laid or date certain guys or find a husband, then you're doing yourself a huge
disservice.

So right
here, right now, D.R. wants you to make some sex-based resolutions, or "sexolutions" as he likes to
call them.

1. Spot the Hot

You have hotness in you. It could be your arms, butt, abs, or
eyes. It could also be your laughter, compassion, and intellect—these don't
have to be physical qualities. Figure out what those things are and write them
down. Write them ALL down. Try to remind yourself of at least one of those
qualities when you wake up in the morning and before you go out. When it comes
to dating or cruising, confidence is king.

2. Meet
the Meat

You want to meet men? You want the guys you like to like you
back? Then go out and hit the bars, or join an organization, or go online and
visit dating sites, but whatever you do, stop sitting at home feeling bad about
yourself. Yes, chances are you'll get rejected sometimes, and yes guys can be
be bitchy and mean, but if you don't make the effort you're never going to meet
someone.

3. Help
Him Spot the Hot

When you go to a job interview you don't start the meeting by
talking about your faults and insecurities. You put on your best clothes, your
best face, and you show potential employers what a catch you are. The same goes
for meeting men. Be yourself. Don't be cocky or try too hard, just hold onto
your strengths and be open during the conversation. Listen to the other guy and
spot the hot in him as well. If you can make the date a give and take, you'll
be on solid ground.

4. Try a
New Trick

This could be a guy, a toy, a piece of clothing or any new
kink. There's something that's been tickling your fancy, so if it's not going
to hurt another person then why not try it? D.R. often hears about guys who
didn't embrace something sexually exciting until they were much older, and they
regret wasting those years living in fear of judgment (from themselves or
others). Stop it. Now. Find a way to at least dabble your toes (or something
else) in this new experience. Whatever the end result, you'll definitely grow
as a person.

5. Enjoy
Your Body

Sex is good. It is. So allow yourself to enjoy it—either with
another guy, or alone with your hand and a little imagination. If you're single
it's easier to explore new things, but you can do it in a relationship as well.
Talk to your man, tell him your desires, and go on the journey together. As men
we can have sex for years, so take advantage of that gift.

Obviously
these sexolutions aren't cure-alls for bad self-esteem; the real battle there
is taking on the disparaging self-talk, seeing it for what it is and really
breaking yourself out of those negative bubbles. Don't let 2012 begin with the
same old habits and frustrations you've felt in the past. Instead, challenge
yourself to love yourself, step outside your comfort zone, and enjoy everything
that life has to offer.

SOURCE: GAY DOT NET