I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, November 22, 2022


Feeling ground down by Grindr? Perhaps you’re due for a profile refresh.

Here are some of the top pointers from Grindr users, lightly massaged for grammar and brevity…

Be your authentic self—and keep it positive

“Just state what you’re looking for and whether you prefer to host or travel. Add any preferences—positive statements only. ‘Looking to top. Can host. I prefer smooth but am open to all types. Condoms mandatory.’”

“The single most important thing you need to do is write a profile that within two or three sentences explains what you are looking for, makes a little mention about what you have to offer, and does not under any circumstances [say] what you do not want. The first two can be hard, but just be frank with yourself and the words will come. I recommend a collection of emoji about your hobbies for a screen name. Dense information in a minimal package.”

Show your confident side

“This is similar to product marketing. You need to showcase the best in you. Pictures, profile info, descriptions. Trust me, the way you market your profile is directly related to the number of guys you hook up with.”

“As long as you’re confident in what you [have] out as your display name and bio, people will come to you.”

Know your angles

“Use current photographs and try to make yourself and surroundings attractive for whom you’re into. (Looking at you dirty mirror/hard water stains bathroom guys.)”

“Bathroom mirror selfies are the worst. Get natural pics. Ask friends to take photos when you’re laughing, et cetera, and not posing. They always turn out much better and give a better all-around image.”

“Ask friends for honest feedback on your pics. Some guys choose the worst pics of themselves.”

“This isn’t a job interview. Lose the tuxedo, lose the long sleeve shirt. Overdressing in your profile picture is a death sentence for your profile because what it says is, ‘I want a long-term-relationship, I won’t just hook up, and I want lots and lots and lots of your time before we get anywhere,’ whether that’s actually true or not.”

Take a direct approach

For bonus advice, heed what Jaik Puppyteeth wrote for “The VICE Guide to Grindr” back in 2016: “In my experience, there are two successful types of Grindr profile to craft for successful responses: a sexy, mysterious profile where you come off as a cool, mildly apathetic person who doesn’t look as desperate as you actually are in real life, or the more direct approach. The direct approach has a Tinder-esque face pic, maybe shirtless, and has social media accounts linked to it. Personally, I opt for the face pic with social media linked up, because in this modern age I feel like internet stalking is a given with online dating.”

Jaik also called out Grindr discrimination: “An important note about daily existence in society: Don’t be discriminatory! If you’re writing things like ‘no femme guys’ or ‘masc4masc’ or ‘white dudes only,’ you don’t deserve to hook up with ANYONE, and I hope you lose your phone in a taxi.”


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