HERE I AM...

…Living this life, taking chances to make me count for something so that I can make a difference in the lives of others; yet I can’t help but wonder if my deeds were pointless…wasteful because I am here fighting this battle with NO aid from those that I knew before. I suppose it is MY fault really, because I chose to respond to the deficiencies I saw around me in the lives of persons that needed me. Wonder why I am ALWAYS left holding the bag, dealing with the mess they left while they carry on with life? I don’t hate being the one that chose to help, but sometimes I can’t help but think how easy it is to look @ their circumstances AND decide it is better not to get involved. It is sad to realize that I was embraced for what I could give, but when it comes time to return the gesture…Serves me right I suppose. I mean who OR what told me to be this go-to-guy, the one that will help because you are in need? I’ve come to realize that I belong to a particular soul group that’s born knowing their purpose in life. I feel like an animal that spent his day foraging for food, taking care of myself and pack while creating a home. I get that we are flawed, but I can’t help but wonder if this just an excuse to be selfish? They say PURPOSE GIVES OUR LIFE MEANING; and as UNIQUE as I am, I can’t help feel that I am here for all the wrong the reasons trying NOT to scrape by in this game called life…Would life have me assume that since you didn’t call to see if I am okay, I can take to mean that you have @ least thought about me? Do you even wish that you could share the ups AND downs in my life with me? Do you remember the man I am? The way I feel about life? IF YOU KNOW COME FIND ME…HERE I AM…