I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Tuesday, March 8, 2022


It feels stingy to even think about the relationships we’ve stayed in where we were being disrespected, but the honest truth is that many of us went through this and stayed in relationships where poor treatment was the order of the day.

From having sexual boundaries violated, being verbally violated, being stood up, being cheated on (multiple times), being deceived, or having them show up unannounced in the middle of the night. Therefore, I understand how subtle disrespect can start, until it becomes blatantly obvious.

So how do you spot the disrespect as it happens? Do you ignore the humiliations, feelings of being devalued, minimized, placated, or  treated like you are just plain crazy? Because someone who respects us really cares about their impact on us. This is why the mental rationalization of “they don’t really mean it” doesn’t hold much value. The impact was what it was. You are entitled to how you feel. And a partner who really cares will honour their impact.

That being said, if the relationship moves out of the realm of disrespect and into abuse, the abusive partner will spin all of this around to somehow make you honour their feelings of hurt. You become the disrespected one—yet again.

Therefore, notice what happens and who they become when you name feeling disrespected. A respectful partner making a mistake will correct. Someone disrespectful and potentially abusive will use this experience to further disrespect you.

No comments:

Post a Comment