Three days
after that episode, Porter has shown how much art has imitated his own
life. In an exclusive with The Hollywood Reporter, the
51–year-old actor revealed he is HIV-positive. Porter explained to Lacey Rose:
“I was the
generation that was supposed to know better, and it happened anyway. It was
2007, the worst year of my life. I was on the precipice of obscurity for about
a decade or so, but 2007 was the worst of it. By February, I had been diagnosed
with Type 2 diabetes. By March, I signed bankruptcy papers. And by June, I was
diagnosed HIV-positive. The shame of that time compounded with the shame that
had already [accumulated] in my life silenced me, and I have lived with that
shame in silence for 14 years. HIV-positive, where I come from, growing up in
the Pentecostal church with a very religious family, is God’s punishment.”
Porter also
divulged to Rose that nobody involved with Pose knew he was
HIV-positive.
“Then
came Pose. An opportunity to work through the shame [of HIV] and where I
have gotten to in this moment. And the brilliance of Pray Tell and this
opportunity was that I was able to say everything that I wanted to say through
a surrogate.”
The actor
recounted how his shame over his diagnosis was associated with his mother:
“My mother had
been through so much already, so much persecution by her religious community
because of my queerness, that I just didn’t want her to have to live through
their ‘I told you so’s.’ I didn’t want to put her through that. I was
embarrassed. I was ashamed. I was the statistic that everybody said I would
be.”
Porter then
detailed that he was originally waiting until his mother died to write his
memoir where he would reveal his status as HIV-positive. Porter assumed, after
moving her into the Actors Fund Nursing Home, she wouldn’t be alive for too
much longer, however, five years later, Porter explained, “She ain’t going
anywhere.” While he and his sister were planning on telling their mother that
he was HIV-positive face to face, Porter ended up revealing his truth to his
mother another way:
“Then I woke
up on the last day of [shooting] Pose; I was writing in my
gratitude journal and my mama popped into my head. I was like, “Let me just
call her.” Not two minutes into the conversation, she’s like, ‘What’s
wrong?’ I said, “Nothing.’ She’s like, ‘Son, please tell me what’s
wrong.’ So I ripped the Band-Aid off and I told her. She said, ‘You’ve been
carrying this around for 14 years? Don’t ever do this again. I’m your mother, I
love you no matter what. And I know I didn’t understand how to do that early
on, but it’s been decades now.’ And it’s all true. It’s my own shame.”
The full story on Billy Porter
can be found on The Hollywood Reporter’s website.
SOURCE: INSTINCT MAG
How brave of him to share. May we all find the courage...
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