It is accepted that consistent condom use and having fewer sexual
partners reduces the probability of catching HIV. Some take from this a not-so-subtle
inference that their HIV status is an indication of their moral rectitude. They
are negative because they've been ‘good’. You are positive because you are ‘a
dirty barebacking slut’. They then contradict themselves by expressing the
belief that safer sex isn't sufficient to protect them.
If you disagree that their
opinions are shrouded in moral judgements, try telling your next date that you
are positive and see what happens. You may well find yourself being treated
with the same contempt with which straight people used to treat us all.
Fear does not lead people to behave in a rational and
self-protective manner. I am aware of our compulsion to climb over a perfectly adequate barrier and hurl ourselves into the
void when we are standing on a completely safe viewing platform. The fear we feel
comes from the knowledge of my own ability to act and not from any inherent
danger. This is completely doolally. I occasionally have vivid dreams where we give in and jump. It's such a relief; the fear is
worse than the consequence.
Although I know my life would be easier if I were HIV-negative, the
politically incorrect truth is that being positive just isn't that bad. All the
trouble I have comes from other people's attitudes and opinions. A little less
fear and judgement would do everyone a lot of good.
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