Y’all, I am
SHOOK. Last night’s episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2 was
a rollercoaster of emotion, including one of the most hilarious performances in Drag
Race herstory, an innovative runway challenge and a shocking
elimination. Plus, a surprise twist ending!
This episode
had it all! Let’s discuss!
Still reeling
from Ginger’s exit last week, the ladies scuttle into the work room, and it’s
quickly clear that Roxxxy and Phi Phi are not pleased with Alyssa’s decision to
keep Katya. I still don’t understand why they are so convinced that somehow the
winner’s completely subjective assessment of which queen got the harshest
critique from the judges on any individual week (which in itself is already not
a science) is somehow a much more pure measure of who deserves to win this
competition. It’s completely ludicrous, but Phi Phi will not let it go. Alaska
stays pretty quiet throughout the conversation, and Detox disagrees but gets
where Alyssa was coming from.
Luckily we
don’t waste too much of our time rehashing. Instead, we skip the mini-challenge
and go right to the maxi. The girls are going to be working in pairs to create
“shequels” to some camp classics. Alaska and Alyssa will continue the story of What
Ever Happened to Baby Jane? with Wha’ Ha’ Happened To Baby JJ? Phi
Phi and Roxxxy will take the tale of Nomi Malone to DIFFERENT! PLACES! withShowsquirrels.
And, finally, Detox and Katya are lusty zombie ladies inGrace & Frankie,
I mean Velma & Weezy. (Totally random aside: The queens are
able to use wigs from Weaven Steven, whom I remember from an appearance on my
favorite cycle of America’s Next Top Model where all the
models wore hair dresses, and Weaven Steven looked like a total nightmare.)
The first pair
to film with Michelle and Toddrick is Katya and Detox. It takes a moment for
Katya to find her groove, but she gets there, thanks to some sage acting advice
from Toddrick: “One of the first rules of acting is reacting to the other
people.” Slow down there, James Lipton, I’m trying to take notes!
Next up, Alaska
and Alyssa, and already this looks amazing. Alaska is crushing it, but Alyssa
is acting bizarre. Not her usual charming bizarre, just inexplicable. She’s
trying to make choices with her character, but they mostly just read as
whispering. Not great.
Of the last
pair, Phi far outshines Roxxxy (a low bar, I know). Phi, to her credit, painted
her face to look precisely what I imagine Elizabeth Berkeley would look like
rode hard and put away wet after all these years. In other words, she aged Nomi
perfectly. Roxxxy on the other hand struggles to just read basic English words,
completely failing to pronounce “sash” without an assist from Michelle.
The resulting
videos are stronger than these kinds of things have been in the past. Wha
Ha Happened in particular is riotously funny, thanks to Alaska. Even Showsquirrels was
pretty entertaining, though I think that sketch had the best moments baked into
the writing.Velma & Weezy felt the dullest of the three (and
also the only one not to feature a cameo from the Queen of Bounce, Big Freedia
— coincidence?).
The runway
called for two-looks-in-one, inspired by Violet Chachki’s memorable plaid transformation moment.
The judges call out Roxxxy and Katya’s performance shortcomings, as well as
Katya’s runway look. Alyssa’s performance and her runway ensemble are both
called into question by Michelle, but Carson steps in and tells her that he
doesn’t care, because Alyssa is so likable. (There is nothing I like better
than a reaction shot of Michelle Visage when someone undermines her authority
on the judging panel.) In the end, Ru gives top honors to Alaska and Phi Phi,
and she places Roxxxy, Katya and Alyssa in the bottom.
Phi Phi doesn’t
even bother meeting with the ladies up for elimination, and, honestly, it’s not
like Alaska gets a lot of insight from their chats. Alaska wins the lip sync
and surprisingly sends Alyssa packing.
But! Twist! It
doesn’t end there. We see the remaining girls head back to the work room to
read Alyssa’s farewell message. They start gossiping about Alyssa, and Phi
really piles on. But just when she’s like “AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT ALYSSA!” the
mirror lights up revealing Alyssa, Ginger, Tatianna and Coco standing behind
it. Looks like it’s time to truly bring back Ru’s girls.
Let’s break
down where the ladies stand in our rankings:
1.
Calling Alaska the Dustin Hoffman of queens acting
is an understatement. She’s the Meryl Streep. She’s the John Malkovich. She’s
the f*cking Bette Davis. Every beat of her performance was note-perfect. I
could watch her entrance on that scooter on loop forever. Even beyond that, I
was in stitches every time she was on screen. Her transformation might not have
been as dramatic on the runway (her initial ensemble wasn’t so much a lewk as
it was a cover up for the reveal), but it was so worth it for the appearance
Lil’ Poundcake. I honestly screamed. Screamed. I’ve watched her runway walk at
least five times and laughed the whole time with each viewing. I do NOT
understand her choice for the elimination other than some blind adherence to the
critique-of-week, which is lame.
2. Maybe it’s
strange for me to still put Katya so high in this week’s
rankings. In fairness, Detox may have outperformed Katya cumulatively thus far
in the competition. The thing is, I don’t think Detox can win this. I don’t
think Detox will surge and take the crown. But I do think Katya could. I agree
with the judges that her garment didn’t really transform, but her Satanic twist
was a delight. It’s the kind of wink-wink that RuPaul rewards.
3. I don’ t know, Detox,
I feel like an “Asian-inspired” look like this is already problematic, but, on
this show, boy, does it open up the floor for a lot of lazy, lazy puns. Beyond
that, Detox did a decent job in the challenge, but I didn’t find her
two-for-one look to be that much of a showstopper. I expected something so much
more inventive here. Be better, Detox. Be better, everyone.
4. Maybe I’ve been a bit of a Phi
Phi apologist the last few weeks, but honestly, compared to Roxxxy, I
feel she is the lesser of the two evils. Maybe it’s the edit, maybe she’s being
outshone by her far more charismatic and likable competition, but she
officially squandered whatever goodwill she may have earned thus far tonight
with her unrelenting harping about “changing the game.” All that aside, I
think her acting was better than fine, and her transformation on the runway was
greater than the sum of its parts. That lip synch was lip-sunk from the
jump-off when she decided she was going to give us a totally earnest
performance of the iconic Carrie Bradshaw “fashion roadkill” soundtrack, Cheryl
Lynn’s “Got To Be Real.” Yawn. Pass.
5. I’ve been saying it for
weeks, and it pains me to be on same side of herstory as Phi Phi, but Alyssa really
struggles to be funny, like, on purpose. And look! I love Alyssa! I do! I would
pay to see her! I would drive cross-country with her! I would split a Fire
Island share! But when she tries to be intentionally funny, it’s just …
strange. Michelle was right to call it out on the runway. I still don’t think
she belonged in the bottom, let alone eliminated tonight. Roxxxy’s and Katya’s
spots felt earned, even if it would’ve been a less dramatic face-off. Honestly,
given the twist ending tonight, I think Alyssa has the strongest chance of
coming back and maybe even winning this whole damn thing. A preview for next
week (the only reason to watch television’s least exciting circle jerk, Finding
Prince Charming, is to catch previews for All Stars)
alludes to lip synching for a chance to return. Alyssa’s got that in the bag.
6. Roxxxy proved
once again exactly why she cannot be America’s Drag Superstar, let alone an All
Star champion: She cannot act. She can’t! And it’s not like she needs
to become a master actress. This isn’t Boyhood (which Ru would
definitely remake and call Gurlhood). I mean, take an improv class.
Something. She knew this would be an issue. I will say that I think, judging
the garment alone, Roxxxy had the most successful two-for-one lewk. Then again,
I’m a sucker for a Selena-inspired jumpsuit, always. I just cannot take her
seriously as a contender.
How would you
rank the queens?
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