GAY MEN & LOVE...

Finding gay love is only a step away... if you're willing to see it! At times, the gay dating scene can seem like a maelstrom of noncommittal men all waiting for the next date. The number of eligible men online, at the beach, the club or the grocery store is overwhelming. Some are only looking for sex, but many are looking for love.

Take this metaphor:

Imagine being granted exclusive access to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

You're there with thousands of other lucky winners, but the focus is on just you. There is plenty for all. As you enter the sweet smelling factory, you're taken aback by the delightful treats all around you. Overstimulation seems like an understatement.

You revert back to your childhood days, eager to sprint through the many aisles of endless sweet treats. Just as you are about to empty your pockets in preparation for your candy stash, the staff abruptly halts your progress to go over the ground rules: You have free access to every corner of the factory. You can tour as long as you like- hours, weeks, years, a lifetime.

You can sample every candy imaginable- thousands upon thousands of hard, soft, chewy, big and small delicacies. But you can only leave home with a bag full of one candy- yes, only one!

You look down the aisle and the varieties are unlimited. Each candy you taste is better than the previous one. You're in heavenly bliss! There is good candy as far as you can see. Then a frown hits your face when you remember the golden rule: You can only take home one candy.

The temptation is too great. You shake off all worries of taking home only one candy. After all, there are so many irresistible selections that you can't go wrong. You keep tasting- a better crunch here, a creamier texture there. There is always an opportunity to return to the factory on another day, but you see this as your only chance to get it right.

You search endlessly for the perfect candy until your stomach refuses another bite. You stop at the next bin. The light mint chocolate truffles are the best of the whole day. You contemplate making this your choice to take home, but you can't. The temptation is too great!

There thousands of candies just up ahead. Each better than the last. What if you miss out? You wouldn't want to fall in love with the wrong candy, no matter how good, especially when there are so many other great selections up ahead... Your fill is wonderful, but temporary at best. Wouldn't it be better to make the sweet taste last?

When looking for love (or even the possibility of a relationship), focus on what's right instead of obsessing over a short list of what might be better. Of course, never compromise your values or morals, but dig deep beyond the surface and give an initial attraction a chance to win you over. Sure, there may be someone slightly better looking out there or a hunk in better shape; but why miss out on potential soul mate in search of a false idea of perfection? If you find a candy that makes your eyes roll, then take it home and keep it. You can always visit the factory again if your bag runs dry.