My boyfriend, of a year is awesome, we have a really good
relationship, share loads of interests in common, want the same things out of
life and feel we can really make a go of things.
I have a problem with his last ex of nine years. They broke up over
18 months ago. Just a few months ago this ex was messaging saying how much he
misses him, then things like he'd had an accident, cut himself etc (he self-harmed when they were together.) It
made my boyfriend feel horribly guilty and he had to tell his on more than one
occasion that this was not appropriate. Thankfully those messages seem to have
stopped but he still hears from him pretty much every weekend asking him to
meet up, which he declines mostly.
I don't believe he would ever cheat, or even go back wiht his ex. He's
assured me he doesn't even miss him and cares about him only as a friend. He
says he feels sorry that his ex still misses him so much after all this time.
I haven't said anything so far as I didn't want to appear jealous
or untrusting but today I told him that it does bother me that his ex pesters him
so much. Although he agrees it's irritating and says he understands my
worrying, as he would if the situation were reversed, he doesn't seem to want
to break contact or tell him to back off. We had an argument about it and I
don't know if I should have said anything as he says he feels backed into a
corner and now has to break off contact. We're not talking and it's upsetting
as we've never really argued before and having him angry with me is unbearable.
Although I would be happy if he never spoke to his ex again, I
don't want to start telling him who he can and can't see. I don't understand the
need to be friends with an ex, maybe a catch up every now and then but I see no
need for more than this.
Do I need to apologize for even bringing it up? Or is he being
unreasonable and needs to resolve this with his ex? Please help me resolve this
with him, I have no idea where to start!
Thank you!
#IMHO If the ex is an ex then there is a reason behind it. You need to tell your boyfriend how you feel. It could be that the ex is attention seeking and needs professional help. If your boyfriend starts spending more time with the ex than you then move on. It seems as if the ex is really wanting your boyfriend back. Proceed with caution and tell your boyfriend to advise the ex to get professional help since he is self harming.
ReplyDeleteyou are right sir
DeleteI agree with Musique. Communicate but be subtle with it. That is treading on thin ice.
ReplyDeleteVERY thin ice
Delete