"I
don't think I'm special for being a gay man. That's not why I came out. I
didn't come out so all of you could say 'I knew it' based on the clothes I wear
or the way I dance. I never even thought I'd have to come out.
"I'd
be the 50-yr-old living with dogs hiding my relationships living on a beach
somewhere. Maybe then I'd be comfortable with it. But it was last summer,
writing songs for the new album, being so fed up with 'hiding' and being so
ready to be 'free' that I poured my heart out into music more than I'd ever had
before. Music indeed was my first love. Not a boy. It was music that I had
always had a torrid love affair with. I felt I owed him, the music, or her, the
song. I had to be honest with that relationship.
"It
was the moment I let myself write about the years spent in falling for my
straight friend or the song I let myself write about thinking it was ok to be
alone forever because it was better than explaining myself. It was those truths
that came out before I decided to. You can't hide away forever. I don't think I
was even trying. But music never let me lie. Something always would come out in
the songs.
"So
now you know what you may have always assumed. Good for you. How does it feel?
Do you want a 'gaydar' award? Do you want to be pat on the back because you can
"spot them"?
"It
is not news. It is not meant to be salacious. Until you know what it's like to
hide, to keep away true happiness out of fear. That's when you truly understand
what it's like. It's not about coming out to wave a flag in another's face. At
least it's not for me. For me its about finding the purist of peace. The
absolute settling of my soul. The clearest vision of the road I want to take...
"I'm
30. I don't want to die anymore. I want to really live. Honestly, and fully.
What an amazing place to be. For me it was a place I never cared about. Now all
I want is to be honest.
"That's
what this whole 'coming out' thing is for me. It's been quite a real and
beautiful day to have so much compassion and love coming from strangers, fans
that have been there since the beginning, new fans, family, friends. For
someone like me, the eternal self-deprecator, I just want to say thank you.
"I
guess the last thing I want to say tonight and for now is if you're like me, a
wanderer, a questioner, a soul searcher, a dreamer, or misunderstood for any
reason at all: Come out.
"Come
out as a wanderer. Come out as a questioner. One day it wont matter. But it
still does. Come out as YOU. That's all I really can say. That's what I'd say
to me at 21, the scared return Mormon missionary who knew this part of himself
but loved God too. You can do both. Don't let anyone tell you you can't.
"All
my love and hope, and for now, back to the music.
XO
Your friend, Tyler."
well said Tyler. OWN YOUR TRUTH.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this letter
Deletei too approve this message. it sums up how i feel as well. i'm sick of having to behave like some generic sexless person just to please others. i'm ready to let go of those who require these conditions in order to be my friend. i'm done with it.
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you
Delete