I AM...

I am whatever YOU think I am until YOU get to KNOW me. This is true for everyone else too, of course.. so don't make assumptions about anyone or pass judgment; ask questions. You might just make a new friend.


Monday, March 8, 2021


Terms in the gay community can have a way of flipping on themselves depending on a ton of factors.  Gone are the days where the labels equate exactly to one of two things: age and look.  Now, terms are used much more freely and have more room to breathe.

Apps are a big way to view just how different terms like these have become. Apps like Scruff, Grindr and Growlr (or as I refer to them as, the "Goldilocks" of gay apps), have options where you can identify as anything from a cisgender man all the way to a fisting bottom and everything in between.  "Daddy" is a label/option used on all of them, yet many profiles that have this option clicked off show pics of men that don't give off that type of look.  It may be a stereotypical man to think of, but when you peruse gay porn going all the way back to the 70's, you will find that the ones labeled "daddy" generally have that type of look.  So what has shifted here?

I asked friends on social media who don't necessarily "fit" the traditional daddy type why they consider themselves as so.  The responses were quite diverse, interesting, and will make you think differently about this term (or any, quite frankly) moving forward.

Many consider themselves to be a daddy because they equate daddy with the word "top".  As a total top, there is a definite power feeling they get when in bed with another man.  

Others have taken on the daddy role primarily because of how big they are in the "package" department.  It's amazing the kind of power you can wield when you have a larger than normal d**k, and that sort of thing can bring on the daddy mentality in ways.

The variance of the application of the 'daddy' label application is very visible everywhere you look.  Maybe this is a good thing?  Blurring the lines of labels until the are no more?  But what if some of us gravitate toward that label since that is what we like?  

What do you think defines a true daddy in today's gay society?


  1. Well, like everything, you define it as you see fit. The rise of the dad-bod is what I am amazed by. Dudes with a bit of a pot belly, and some fur generally refer to their bods this way and they have a following (and a definite appeal). I am a daddy in terms of role play only. I am certainly old enough to be one, but that is not my main appeal. I call younger dudes Daddy on occasion, if they request. It's all just for fun. Not the ironclad label of days past.

  2. True daddy can be young, too. In 30's, or even earlier. As long as he's masculine. And some of them already are actual dads. At least if you ask me. 50+ as well but, those are more like, grandpas. Honestly. 😏🀷‍♂️ For me, dad has to be an alpha male. Beefy but fit. No belly or anything like that. Mustache is a turn-off.

    Grey hair is reserved for grandpas, dads are not that old. Daddy is a gentleman, he is a top only πŸ’― And he loves the opposite of what he is. He's into bottoms only, (preferrably young) slim twinks who are cute, gentle, feminine. Yup, that's the perfect combo right there. πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

  3. I am 48 years old and I am approaching the age of daddies. Just as beauty resides in the eye of the beholder, the characteristics of daddies are also in the eyes and head of the beholder and thinks them.
    I personally don't have the typical characteristics of a daddy: being big and bulky, tall, sturdy, hairy, mustachioed. But some may see me as a daddy, if only for my age.