To love,
trust and honor yourself is the ultimate foundation for any relationship. The
relationship with yourself is mirrored in the relationship with the partners
that you attract into your life. Each moment we are at choice. A choice to
choose love or a choice to choose fear. A choice to cheat or a choice to live
with integrity. Every relationship is the opportunity to practice integrity and
to live your spirituality in everyday life.
When you
don’t honor what you truly feel or your deepest truth in a relationship, you
cheat on yourself. This is when unfaithfulness begins. When you are in a
relationship and compromise who you really are, you are cheating on yourself.
When you remain in a relationship that no longer nourishes your authentic soul
expression, you are cheating on yourself. When you enter into a relationship
even though your intuition tells you something isn’t right, you are cheating on
yourself. When you don’t honor yourself, you also cheat your partner from
having all of you, as well as the opportunity to find the fullness of love that
might be available for them too. When you truly trust yourself then you make
choices that reflect this. You choose people that are trustworthy and able to
honor you.
It’s not
about right or wrong. It’s about integrity. It’s about honoring whatever
agreements you made with each other. When you cheat you don’t give the other
person an opportunity to choose. If you let them know how you feel up front,
they at least have a choice whether to continue in relationship with you or
not, rather than being there under false pretense. If you both agree to being
monogamous and faithful to each other, then honor that commitment. But if it’s
not your authentic truth and you are simply agreeing to what you think you
should, then you are already being unfaithful to yourself and your partner.
If your
agreement no longer feels true for you then honor yourself, honor your partner,
honor your love by speaking the truth. Have the courage to renegotiate your
commitment and find a new relationship format that allows for more love to be
expressed between you both. Commit to love each moment of your relationship.
Sometimes this will cause you to end a relationship. But other times it may
mean you must commit more deeply to working on your relationship, even though
it’s challenging. Just because you feel an attraction to someone other than
your partner is not enough of a reason to act on it. Real freedom is not
necessarily doing whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want.
This is simply to be a slave to your desires. Remember that desires are
fleeting and often endless.
Real freedom
is to be connected to your authentic self and making choices that are in
alignment. Real freedom is a discipline of the heart. Real freedom is to
sacrifice what is lesser for what is more. Real freedom is a commitment to
love.
So commit to
love.
Having lived in an "open relationship" for 23 years, I can truly say that the love for my partner never diminished even though I "had sex" with other men. He and I were very much in love. He was ten years older that me and understood that I needed to have sex with others, but that never came between us. He was the most wonderful friend I have ever had. His death, six years ago, tore me to pieces. Even now as I remember him tears fill my eyes,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you got to do that with no problem @ this time in my life I am happy with just the one guy
DeleteUnfortunately, "Permission to Play" is more often than not, only in the mind of the player him or herself.
ReplyDeleteOn this occasion, I know that it was not
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