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Sunday, March 6, 2011

GAY MEN & ANAL SEX

According to Steven Gregory Underwood, author of Gay Men and Anal Eroticism, roughly three-fourths of gay men have had anal sex at one time or another throughout their lives. Now, assuming these men continue having anal sex, that leaves a quarter of all gay men that have either never tried or no longer have anal. That's a lot of gay men that aren't into anal sex. Why? There could be a number of reasons:

·         Personal taste. Some guys may have tried anal only to discover that they find no pleasure in topping or bottoming. Those that have never tried anal may continue to have no desire to participate.


·         Stigma. There are stigmas associated with men who have anal sex with other men. The top is often thought to be the dominant partner while the bottom is considered the more submissive. This isn't always true. So, anal sex can pose a problem to, say, a bottom that doesn't want to be seen as or feel like the "weaker" or less dominate man.


·         Anxiety. There are more letters in the STD alphabet soup than any of us would like. The risk of contracting an STD, from the most treatable to the incurable, causes quite a bit of anxiety. Anal sex can be a pathway to many fears, so some feel it's better to abstain than engage.


·         Feelings. Anal penetration is one of our closest physical connections. Many prefer there be feelings associated with that level of closeness. So, some men abstain from anal unless they have an emotional connection with their partner.

Sex is personal. So much so, that preferences, pleasures, desires, wants and needs vary by the individual. Our sexuality, which includes all of the things just mentioned, changes as we experience and grow. What we like today may not be what we're into tomorrow.

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