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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

¿WHAT IN THE GAY?


About a week ago I saw an ex manager of mine; this particular manager I wrote about in a previous blog entry. So imagine my surprise when I heard a voice call my name and say IF I AM OKAY & HOW COME I DIDN’T ACKNOWLEDGE MY BOY (his lingo NOT mine). Now I let that pass because I thought HEY, HE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAYING A JOKE OR SOMETHING because he had seen me before and we didn’t say ONE word to each other. So now yesterday I am on my way to work, I hear this car horn trying to get my attention and can you guess who it was? YEP HIM! I am like WTF? So I started looking around for the cameras because I know I am about to get PUNKED! With no luck finding the cameras I made my way to work trying to figure out what the hell was up with him. Was he trying to make amends for the way he treated me more than 10 years ago? Was he sorry for firing my ass because I am gay? All I know is that let go that shit years ago (LORD knows it took me a while) but I did it AND here I am…Yet I wonder what series of events lead him to exchange pleasantries with me? Is because his son is gay? Could it be that he has seen the error of his ways? Or could he himself be gay? Whatever his modus operandi I know that I must stay afloat amidst the spin…I am all about forgiveness and stuff like that but I can’t help but sense the NEGATIVITY in his words AND actions. I guess it’s like they say WE ALL RADIATE ENERGY & I DON’T NEED HIS TO BE MESSED UP WITH MINE and though I will wrap myself up in a cocoon of loving AND protective light; I will face the dark when it comes my way. @ the end of it all, I know that he ONLY be who he is and I have to ACCEPT that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives AND opinions…even if it is about MY sexuality…SO WHILE I REAP THE BENEFITS OF WALKING THIS PATH, I HAVE A FEELING THAT HE CAN SEE THAT HOW HE ACTED TOWARDS ME IN THE PAST DID NOT BREAK ME. I FREED MYSELF FROM TRYING TO TWIST INTO SHAPES THAT’LL FIT THE SPACES HE NEEDS FILLED & I KNOW THAT I AM A BETTER MAN FOR IT.

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