THEY SEE ME COMING...

Last evening I decided to go and get some much needed cardio; and on my way I saw two HOMOPHOBIC men from my past. One was a former manager of mine and the other was a trainer @ the gym I use to attend. Both seemed shocked to see me AND I could tell that the smelled my energy, but I was TOTALLY unshaken. I guess I made them flashback to the time when the both wanted to do me physical harm AND break me. I found it SO funny that these men STILL to this day held onto their dislike for what I do with MY sexual organs. I MEAN C’MON WHY DOES IT REALLY MATTER? WHY DOES MY SEXUALITY MEAN SO MUCH TO THEM? WHY DO THEY THAT BECAUSE I AM GAY THEY CAN TOSS ME AROUND, BANG ME UP, SLAP ME DOWN OR KICK ME TO THE GROUND? Whatever their deal is I could care less. Normally Noel (FUTURE HUSBAND) would go with me, but for some unforeseen reason I wanted him to stay home. Now I see that it was good that I went alone because I am sure they would try to make a scene. I mean he did take the time to ever so quietly whisper the word SISSY as OUR paths physically crossed. But before we got near each other and I was walking in his direction I thought to myself, HE HAS A BOTTLE IN HIS HAND…SHOULD I GO TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE STREET? But something in me said NO, hold your ground and carry on. And so I did…I can’t allow HOMOPHOBIC weakness to get me down. I felt that I was walking for SO many of us that feel the STRESS, WORRIES & STRAINS from dealing with such energy. In fact I felt that we have ENDURED them for so long that we seem to think that they are apart of OUR lives OR is a necessary evil. This in MY opinion makes us IGNORANT of what it means to be GAY because OUR existence is SO troubled and OUR minds so manipulated that this energy is ALL that we know. This energy I came in contact with showed me that we have NO idea how drastically different OUR lives could be if we NOT allow persons such as these take it away. Moreover, I realized that WE don’t have to get violent OR be as ignorant as they are, because it is SO obvious that there is something about us that captivates them on some level. Being who are about FIGHTING for liberation and NOT being a typical this OR that. I believe there is a world that is much better than this madness AND abnormality that we are currently living. There is a world of COMFORT, PLEASURE, MENTAL PEACE, BALANCE & HARMONY that has been cast aside for the insane, abnormal and flawed reality are living in. SO AS I WALKED PASSED EACH OF THEM, I FELT THAT I TOOK THAT PART OF ME BACK THAT THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO HOLD…SO THIS POEM IS IN RECOGNITION OF THEM & I HOPE IT REACHES THEM ON SOME LEVEL & HELP THOSE THAT DEAL WITH SUCH INDIVIDUALS…

THEY see me coming

They smell my strength

See my energy…

I am strong, male AND gay

I smell their strength

They want me,

To be their bitch,

Their man

Their piece that finds in the middle of the night

When all is silent N’ still

I am the chosen one

Yet I resist

For I stand FIRM in the face of hatred

It is in my nature

I have WAY TOO many wounds,

My soul is NO longer weak

And I will NOT allow your lies N’ deceits to affect my life.

How dare they think they could enter this temple?

They cannot appreciate my essence

Nor cherish my soul

This GAY man is…

Stagnated, yet ready to move

Weak, yet I am strong

Confused, yet the truth is there.

Surprised, yet already knew.

I am dancing with life,

Having sex with the man I LOVE

And reaffirming my spirituality

WE have our own rhythm

They sway @ my words, yet I am silent

They dance to my movements, yet I am still

They sing my lyrics, yet I not written anything.

They see me coming, yet they cannot look away…

© tgk