FIRST SATURDAY

I know this is the first time that my friends and I got together since the year began. However, I cannot help but notice certain things about life when I am in their company. I find it funny how life is AND always will be more of the same yet different in many ways. I appreciate that WE are very different from each other and OUR wants N’ needs vary from situation to situation. Nonetheless, I sometimes wonder if I am the one that is living his life in contrast to what is RIGHT and TRUE! Now please know that I am in NO way self righteous OR above my friends. It is just that WE all know what OUR TRUTH is, but we cannot hide from the ULTIMATE truth…IT SOON FINDS IT WAY…I cannot get pass the fact that LIFE is so precious AND tender that I actually had to face the fact that I have a friend that cannot get pass herself to grace us with her presence. I get that life is hard @ times, but I think that a few hours once a week would NOT hurt OR break her…IF ONLY SHE COULD GET BEYOND EXTERNAL FORCES OF THIS WORLD…I just wish with ALL of my might that she could live up her potential. BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? I AM JUST WATCHING…I LOVE each AND every one of my friends and I would die for them. However that self sacrificing statement is NOT necessary because I find that within my own crew that I have a friend that is DEAD already and it just a matter of time before it becomes official. It is hard when life has given up on you, but life is what you make it. I know that I am NOT he, but I am the next best thing…ME! BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? I AM JUST WATCHING…I cannot hide how I feel nor do I want to and I get GREAT pleasure in knowing that those that I call friend are okay with themselves. I know that is hard most times especially when life has dealt you a deadly disease and all you can do is live with it…OR CAN YOU? Strange thing how life alters one state of being and pulls him out of the shell of himself and I must say that I was VERY pleased to see that materialize in front of my eyes…Go on now take your steps, it all will work out TRUST ME…BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? I AM JUST WATCHING… When one takes a swim in unchartered waters, one must bear in mind that as you go left others go right. Hence, there are times I have to let you swim even if I think you are going to drown. Does that make me a bad person? I THINK NOT! BUT WHAT DO I KNOW? I AM JUST WATCHING…