So the events of this past Saturday has made me take a step back and re-evaluate my place in the lives of others and I have come to realize that I am scattered in so many places that it is impossible for me have anything left for myself. Now I have to ask myself HOW DOES ONE FIX OR REPAIR HIMSELF WHEN THINGS GET TO THIS LEVEL? Firstly, I have to acknowledge that is somewhat STRANGE for me because this means that I have to say that I have spread myself too thin. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? My intensions were GOOD and I want the BEST for everyone but…WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME NOT MAKING IT ABOUT ME? ISN’T BEING HUMAN MEANS THAT ONE HAS TO SACRIFICE FOR THOSE THAT NEED IT? As I have said before I HAVE TO REALIZE THAT, I AM NOT GOD or JESUS and IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO LIVE AS IF I AM. Though being there for others is a GREAT and WONDERFUL thing, it takes it toll on me and sometimes I feel as if I am NOT present in my own body. Moreover, Saturday made me realize that. Hence, I have to CENTER myself and find a way of coming to terms with all the different energies that I give out and draw them back into myself. I read somewhere that when one is in such a predicament, one feels disconnected OR numb is no longer able to care fully for himself. Though this is NOT what I feel is going on with me, I have to admit that I am NOT far from it. @ first it appeared that this was CRAZY, but as time went on…They say that I am the ENDURING one, but I do not know how true that is…HOW IS IT THAT BEING THERE FOR OTHERS CAN BE SUCH A CHALLENGING EVENT WHEN IT COMES TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE MEASURE OF MYSELF? I guess my thought that if I LOVE the universe AND everyone in it that I would experience LOVE in the form of positive circumstances. GUESS I AM A CHILD @ HEART THAT LISTENS TO THE UNIVERSE WHO IS MY WISE MOTHER THAT TELLS ME TO AID HER IN HER QUEST FOR MANKIND. THERE ARE EXTREME ENERGY CHANGES PULSING THROUGH THE UNIVERSE @ EVERY LEVEL AND, OF COURSE, I AM APART OF its GROWING PROCESS. I MERELY WANT OTHERS TO REALIZE THAT LIFE IS JUST ONE PHASE AFTER ANOTHER AND THAT ANY DIFFICULT TIME WILL INEVITABLY GIVE WAY TO SOMETHING NEW & DIFFERENT. I GUESS I HAVE TAKEN THE SAYING THIS TOO SHALL PASS TO ANOTHER LEVEL BECAUSE I AM MORE THAN THE SPOKEN WORD. THOUGH IT SEEMS SELFISH TO ME, I NOW KNOW THAT I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR THE THINGS THAT I CAN CHANGE & SURRENDER TO MYSELF & PUT ME FIRST…
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
CENTERING MYSELF
So the events of this past Saturday has made me take a step back and re-evaluate my place in the lives of others and I have come to realize that I am scattered in so many places that it is impossible for me have anything left for myself. Now I have to ask myself HOW DOES ONE FIX OR REPAIR HIMSELF WHEN THINGS GET TO THIS LEVEL? Firstly, I have to acknowledge that is somewhat STRANGE for me because this means that I have to say that I have spread myself too thin. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? My intensions were GOOD and I want the BEST for everyone but…WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME NOT MAKING IT ABOUT ME? ISN’T BEING HUMAN MEANS THAT ONE HAS TO SACRIFICE FOR THOSE THAT NEED IT? As I have said before I HAVE TO REALIZE THAT, I AM NOT GOD or JESUS and IT IS NOT MY PLACE TO LIVE AS IF I AM. Though being there for others is a GREAT and WONDERFUL thing, it takes it toll on me and sometimes I feel as if I am NOT present in my own body. Moreover, Saturday made me realize that. Hence, I have to CENTER myself and find a way of coming to terms with all the different energies that I give out and draw them back into myself. I read somewhere that when one is in such a predicament, one feels disconnected OR numb is no longer able to care fully for himself. Though this is NOT what I feel is going on with me, I have to admit that I am NOT far from it. @ first it appeared that this was CRAZY, but as time went on…They say that I am the ENDURING one, but I do not know how true that is…HOW IS IT THAT BEING THERE FOR OTHERS CAN BE SUCH A CHALLENGING EVENT WHEN IT COMES TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE MEASURE OF MYSELF? I guess my thought that if I LOVE the universe AND everyone in it that I would experience LOVE in the form of positive circumstances. GUESS I AM A CHILD @ HEART THAT LISTENS TO THE UNIVERSE WHO IS MY WISE MOTHER THAT TELLS ME TO AID HER IN HER QUEST FOR MANKIND. THERE ARE EXTREME ENERGY CHANGES PULSING THROUGH THE UNIVERSE @ EVERY LEVEL AND, OF COURSE, I AM APART OF its GROWING PROCESS. I MERELY WANT OTHERS TO REALIZE THAT LIFE IS JUST ONE PHASE AFTER ANOTHER AND THAT ANY DIFFICULT TIME WILL INEVITABLY GIVE WAY TO SOMETHING NEW & DIFFERENT. I GUESS I HAVE TAKEN THE SAYING THIS TOO SHALL PASS TO ANOTHER LEVEL BECAUSE I AM MORE THAN THE SPOKEN WORD. THOUGH IT SEEMS SELFISH TO ME, I NOW KNOW THAT I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR THE THINGS THAT I CAN CHANGE & SURRENDER TO MYSELF & PUT ME FIRST…
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Some of us have been blessed though some may say it is a curse with an amazing sense of selflessness,always willing and eager to give of ourselves to our fellow man.While this isn't necessarily a bad thing,one has to be extremely careful that you get too caught up in helping and giving to others that we lose sight of ourselves and lose sight of the bigger picture. Sacrifice is a wonderful word but at what cost must we sacrifice and how much should one be willing to give up. Do you do it at your own peril and to your own detriment? Then if that's the ,you betray those people you are trying to helpand betray yourself. So i am an advocate for generous and selfless people but not at one's own well being and existence.
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