But what if some people, who
are perfectly fine with the label society has assigned to them, suddenly decide
to color outside the lines, i.e. decide to try something they don’t normally do
in sex? To put it simply, what if you are straight as an arrow but you dream
about grabbing another man’s erect cock. Are you all of a sudden gay? Are you
going through a shocking identity crisis? Should you re-label yourself?
THE GUY WHO STIRRED THE POT
WITH A TIKTOK VIDEO
A year and a half ago, Dr. Joe
Kort caused great turmoil on TikTok. In a series of short videos, the doctor
explains why straight guys who have sex with men can still be considered
heterosexual.
BRO, WAIT, WHA-A-A-A-T?
Yep, that’s right. And let me
accentuate the fact that it is not some layperson, but a certified clinical
sexologist, relationship therapist, lecturer, and author who’s claiming it.
Dr. Kort, who identifies
himself as gay, says that in general men have more transactional sex with one
another, whereas women don’t. Men tend to objectify sex; they can be attracted
to the very sexual act and not to the man. They may not even care about the
partner’s gender or who they are as long as the ultimate goal is reached. And
that is to unload.
EAT STEAK AND STILL BE VEGAN?
Like a child who learns how to
differentiate between the imaginative and the real world, we too should make an
effort to start differentiating between sexual and romantic orientations.
According to Kort, sexual behavior doesn’t determine sexual orientation. A
straight guy could be aroused by another man, but he may have zero interest in
being emotionally intimate with him.
But could some of the men who
have sex with gay men be bisexual? “Absolutely, replies Kort, but that comes
over time and that’s a trajectory that only they can be in touch with to figure
that out.”
A BJ IS A BJ, BUT WHAT ABOUT
WHEN THINGS GO FURTHER?
Мany straight guys would
confess that in their teens, they'd regularly get blowjobs from the gay kid
next door or a mate from the college football team. Yet, they do not consider
themselves gay. If you ask them why is that, they’d probably say, Well, I
didn’t have a girlfriend at that time,” or “I wasn’t interested in his dick as
he was interested in mine, but I was horny as hell so we both got something out
of it.”
But if a blowjob is a normal,
“buddy” thing that happens in the locker room, isn’t then anal sex the absolute
final threshold that once stepped over, you’re already officially gay?
Surely, having а penetrative
sex with a man would win you the gay label, but in reality, the situation is
not that simple. Just like thinking of pushing your obnoxious boss onto subway
tracks doesn’t make you a latent murderer, thinking about fucking a guy doesn’t
make you gay.
SEX IS JUST SEX
As there are gay men who have
fucked women, but wouldn’t tag themselves as bi, why can’t straight men who
fuck men but cannot imagine having a relationship with a man, identify
themselves as straight, or hetero-flexible? It’s simple logic, really. Sex is
just sex. But when it comes down to recognizing your true sexual orientation,
one should do it by asserting oneself as an individual, and not as part of some
trendy movement, group, or whatever. As I said above, labels don’t do good work
in modern society, so it is up to you, as an individual, to decide how to label
yourself.
If at all.
SOURCE: ANDREW CHRISTIAN
sex between men is the only activity that makes sense. I sometimes wonder how human beings aren't at least bisexual.
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