🏳️‍🌈 SEX BETWEEN MEN ISN'T JUST A GAY THING, IT'S A GUY THING 👬🏽

Labels can be a good thing. They tell us that there are chopped tomatoes in the tin we’re holding; they instruct us how to wash a cashmere sweater, and how to put together an IKEA wardrobe. All in all, labels help us keep the world in order. However, in the modern human kingdom, labels are not always welcome because they can be untrue or offensive, or both. Тhis is mostly valid within one specific realm of society where labels are not what they used to be - sexuality and gender. The problem, if we can call it a problem at all!, comes from the fact that more and more LGBTQ+ people are refraining from sticking to one concrete label - gay, lesbian, bi, etc., and prefer tagging themselves just as “Me.”

But what if some people, who are perfectly fine with the label society has assigned to them, suddenly decide to color outside the lines, i.e. decide to try something they don’t normally do in sex? To put it simply, what if you are straight as an arrow but you dream about grabbing another man’s erect cock. Are you all of a sudden gay? Are you going through a shocking identity crisis? Should you re-label yourself?

THE GUY WHO STIRRED THE POT WITH A TIKTOK VIDEO

A year and a half ago, Dr. Joe Kort caused great turmoil on TikTok. In a series of short videos, the doctor explains why straight guys who have sex with men can still be considered heterosexual.

BRO, WAIT, WHA-A-A-A-T?

Yep, that’s right. And let me accentuate the fact that it is not some layperson, but a certified clinical sexologist, relationship therapist, lecturer, and author who’s claiming it.

Dr. Kort, who identifies himself as gay, says that in general men have more transactional sex with one another, whereas women don’t. Men tend to objectify sex; they can be attracted to the very sexual act and not to the man. They may not even care about the partner’s gender or who they are as long as the ultimate goal is reached. And that is to unload.

EAT STEAK AND STILL BE VEGAN?

Like a child who learns how to differentiate between the imaginative and the real world, we too should make an effort to start differentiating between sexual and romantic orientations. According to Kort, sexual behavior doesn’t determine sexual orientation. A straight guy could be aroused by another man, but he may have zero interest in being emotionally intimate with him.

But could some of the men who have sex with gay men be bisexual? “Absolutely, replies Kort, but that comes over time and that’s a trajectory that only they can be in touch with to figure that out.”

A BJ IS A BJ, BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN THINGS GO FURTHER?

Мany straight guys would confess that in their teens, they'd regularly get blowjobs from the gay kid next door or a mate from the college football team. Yet, they do not consider themselves gay. If you ask them why is that, they’d probably say, Well, I didn’t have a girlfriend at that time,” or “I wasn’t interested in his dick as he was interested in mine, but I was horny as hell so we both got something out of it.”

But if a blowjob is a normal, “buddy” thing that happens in the locker room, isn’t then anal sex the absolute final threshold that once stepped over, you’re already officially gay?

Surely, having а penetrative sex with a man would win you the gay label, but in reality, the situation is not that simple. Just like thinking of pushing your obnoxious boss onto subway tracks doesn’t make you a latent murderer, thinking about fucking a guy doesn’t make you gay.

SEX IS JUST SEX

As there are gay men who have fucked women, but wouldn’t tag themselves as bi, why can’t straight men who fuck men but cannot imagine having a relationship with a man, identify themselves as straight, or hetero-flexible? It’s simple logic, really. Sex is just sex. But when it comes down to recognizing your true sexual orientation, one should do it by asserting oneself as an individual, and not as part of some trendy movement, group, or whatever. As I said above, labels don’t do good work in modern society, so it is up to you, as an individual, to decide how to label yourself.

If at all.

SOURCE: ANDREW CHRISTIAN