In 1981, Olivia Newton-John encouraged everyone to “get physical” with her
innuendo-laden pop hit. About three minutes and 25 seconds into the music video
for that song, two sculpted, brief-wearing beefcakes exit Newton-John’s gym
clearly ready to do the nasty. Clearly, exercise is great for working up a
sweat in the bedroom.
If Sandy
Dombrowski from Grease recommends it, then it’s gotta be legit, right?
Even men with
the highest of libidos can get into an erectile funk from time to time (hi,
stress and whiskey). But you don’t need to let difficulty getting in the mood
dry up your sex life. Check out the following exercises to bone up on in order
to get you in the mood.
1. SQUAT
THRUSTS
It should be a
given that anything involving a thrusting motion will help you get in the mood
to...well...thrust. Squat thrusts build strength in the lower body, i.e., below
the belt. This is a strength-building exercise, but due to the fast, repetitive
motion of a squat thrust, it is also great for your cardiovascular health and
endurance.
And when it
comes (cums?) to a good evening sex session, morning bang, or afternoon
delight, endurance is key.
2. YOGA
Flexibility,
anyone?
Along with its
bevy of health benefits, yoga is probably the only exercise that will ever give
you a fighting chance at sucking your own dick. As a woman with a uterus and no
balls, this possibility really doesn’t interest me personally, but I guess what
I’m trying to say is good luck.
Practicing
yoga regularly can help you contort your body at seemingly impossible angles.
This means you can finally try all those crazy sex positions you’ve been
intimidated by. The more you can twist, flex and contort, the more likely you
are to have mind-blowing sex.
Moreover, yoga
is great for mental health. It builds confidence and forces you to stay in the
present moment. That means less rumination, less nervousness, and fewer chances
of the wind being taken out of your erectile sales.
3.
WEIGHTLIFTING
Whether you’re
a top or bottom, having the strength to pick something up, hang on to something
for dear life or simply last more than 15 minutes is critical to getting you in
— and staying in — the mood. Enter weightlifting.
Resistance
training exercises like lifting weights naturally increase testosterone, the
male sex hormone that can get you in the mood for some good old-fashioned
boning.
4. KEGELS
Kegel
exercises are extremely easy to do and you can perform Kegel exercises any time
and any place (I’m doing them right now as I type this!).
Many people
think Kegels are reserved only for us ladies trying to tighten up our hoo-has,
but this type of clenching exercise is great for male sexual health as well.
If you’ve
never done Kegels before, try the first few times lying down. Identify your
pelvic floor muscles by clenching in a way that you would if you couldn’t
locate a bathroom and were trying to avoid pissing your pants (we’ve all been
there). Hold for a few seconds, release and repeat.
5. POWER
WALKING
You don’t need
to go on marathon runs or work out to the point of exhaustion to experience the
benefits of exercise. In fact, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to go hulk
when it comes to getting active. I mean, how amped are you gonna be for sex
when your muscles are aching and you’ve been sweating buckets?
Taking a
vigorous walk for about 30 minutes per day is all you need to get in the mood.
Power walking helps the brain release endorphins, which are feel-good hormones
that naturally boost mood. Given the issues that can come with alcohol and sex
(whiskey dick), it’s nice that this natural high exists and can act as a
precursor to feeling frisky.
6.
MASTURBATION
Based on my
completely unprofessional opinion, masturbation burns calories and will give
you a six-pack.
OK, I
completely made the six-pack part up, but you could certainly place
masturbation under the “vigorous activity” category when it comes to an active
lifestyle.
If you’re
having trouble getting in the mood, when in doubt, grab your dick (I’ll be over
here grabbing my vibrator).
A good
old-fashioned stroke and pull may be all you need to get in the mood. The best
part? It won’t cost you more than a bottle of lotion.
SOURCE: ANDREW CHRISTIAN
No comments:
Post a Comment