Habits can have
a powerful impact in your relationship. The definition of a habit is: “a
consistent and regular pattern of behavior”. You can either create positive
habits or negative habits, and once you start practicing them, they will
eventually become an act that is unconscious. When it comes to having a happy
relationship, there are certain habits that can have a powerful and positive
impact. It’s important for you to be conciseness when creating routines,
especially for your relationship. You will need to make an effort every single
day to practice them so they become second nature to you. It takes about 21
days to establish a habit, whether it’s positive or negative. In this article,
I will share with you 12 powerful habits of happy gay couples. These habits
have helped both my relationship, and for the gay couples that I have worked
with. Implement each of these habits in your relationship and start
reconnecting with your partner!
1. Always show
respect to your partner
Showing respect
to your partner is a habit that is worth creating, as it’s a necessary
ingredient for creating a happy, healthy and long lasting connection. When you
express respect towards your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance,
and warmth. When you express disrespect, you are expressing that you don’t
accept your partner. Respecting your partner is all about valuing them for who
they are, including differences. You may have a different outlook on life but
this does not mean that you should disrespect your partner and put them down.
When you
experience disagreements, make sure that you respect your partner’s
differences. This does not allow you to disrespect your partner out in public
or in front of friends and family. Always show respect especially when you have
a disagreement. There will be times where you don’t agree on an issue and it
will be how you handle this issue as a team that will make all the difference
in the world.
2. Go walking
with your partner
This is a habit
that my boyfriend and I have created where we have noticed a deeper
connection in our relationship. If you love nature and spending quality of time
with your partner, make it a habit to go walking—either in the mornings before
you start your day, or in the evenings. Michael and I walk in the evenings
and Sunday mornings. It is a mental decision that we make every day to go
walking together. This promotes conversation, quality time, and exposure to
fresh air. Once you establish this habit, your body will actually want to go
walking. I’ve experienced this with Michael: Since we’ve made it a habit of
walking in the evenings and Sunday mornings, my body craves to spend that
quality of time. Walking with your partner also promotes good exercise, and can
be as simple as walking up down your block and back. Decide with your partner
how long and how often you would like to walk; the key factor is being on the
same page and making sure that you make the mental decision to establish this
habit together.
3. Turn off the
television in the evenings and be with your partner
How can you
possibly connect with your partner when the television is always on? There is
no connection building when the both of you are constantly staring at the
television screen in the evenings. Make the mental decision to turn off the TV
in the evenings, and spend quality time together. Occasionally, you can snuggle
and watch a movie, but avoid watching television most evenings. Take time to
ask your partner about their day and how they’re doing. This habit creates
connection and love. Snuggle up on the couch and talk with your partner; talk
about each other and what the two of you can do to develop your relationship.
There will always be something to talk about, whether it’s planning for the
next vacation or your next date night. Focus on developing your relationship,
and talk about issues that need to be addressed.
4. Bring your
partner coffee in the morning
This simple
gesture means a lot to my boyfriend. He enjoys drinking coffee, and bringing it
to him in the morning expresses love and affection. If your partner likes to
drink coffee in the morning, create this habit and express love through this
act of service. When I bring Michael a cup of coffee, it shows that I
care, and that this is one way I can love him. Wake up a few minutes earlier so
that you and your partner can spend some quality time together before going to
work. This is a simple yet powerful habit of happy relationships.
5. Express
positive attributes about your partner to others
The habit of
expressing positive attributes about your partner will help deepen the
connection in your relationship. On the contrary, expressing negative
attributes about your partner will only build a tall wall between the two of
you. Do you know a couple that always argues in public and expresses negative
traits about each other to friends? This is a bad habit that eventually
destroys a relationship. This negative pattern of behavior creates mistrust,
disconnection and lack of respect. Make a habit of expressing
positive attributes to others. This positive pattern of behavior creates
admiration, fondness and love.
6. Reconnect
throughout the day
We have such
busy schedules that connecting with your partner throughout the day can be last
priority, but if you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship,
reconnecting with your partner throughout the day is crucial. It can be as
simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving your partner
a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus
with your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still make the
time to spend a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative.
Think of ways that you can do to reconnect with your partner throughout the
day.
7. Speak your
partner’s love language every single day
Gary Chapman
wrote a great book on the 5 love languages in which couples can express and
experience their language of love and affection. When looking at these 5 love
languages, take time to find out how you feel most loved and how your partner
feels most love. Imagine you have a love tank inside of you. Every time your
partner talks your love language, your love tank is being filled. Every time
your partner doesn’t express your love language, your love tank runs low. When
it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, creating the habit of
talking your partner’s love language on a daily basis establishes love,
affection and warmth in your relationship.
8. Cooking and
cleaning
It’s always
much more fun when you cook with your partner. I know that I enjoy cooking a
lot more when Michael helps out. The habit of cooking together creates
intimacy, connection and love; making and eating food becomes an intimate act
when you are with your partner. I express my love through cooking and eating
with my boyfriend (with the television off), which builds a deeper
connection between us. This is a perfect opportunity to spend quality time
together.
If you or your
partner prefers doing the cooking, make it a habit that the other person
cleans. A habit that Michael and I do is that whenever I cook, he
cleans up afterwards, and vice-versa. When Michael cleans up after I cook,
it shows appreciation for my cooking and that he values me. It’s important that
you always appreciate and value your partner, even if it’s as simple as
cleaning the dishes. It’s nice to to know that Michael appreciates the
love that I put in my cooking and wanting to do the dishes is a sign of love
affection.
9. Express
appreciation to your partner every day
Appreciate your
partner! It’s as simple as that. However you want to express appreciation in
your relationship, do it. Do it every single day. When it comes to powerful
habits of happy relationships, it’s about expressing your appreciation to your
partner. This can be leaving a love note before going to work or bringing home
flowers at the end of the love. This goes back to speaking your partner’s love
language. Find out your partner’s love language and express your appreciation
for your partner through their love language. If your partner feels move loved
by quality of time, make sure that when you get home from work, “Turn off” and
focus your attention on your partner. Sit on the couch and just be with
your partner. Whichever love language that your partner speaks, make sure that
you speak the same language. Make it a habit of showing appreciation to your
partner every single day.
10. Work
together as a team towards goals (short & long term)
A happy
relationship focuses on short and long term goals. These goals are both for
each individual and also as a couple. Unhappy couples have nothing to look
forward to in life. They just waste their time on superficial nonsense and
trying to live up to society’s standard of happiness. Focus within your
relationship on creating, establishing and accomplishing goals. Happy gay
couples have goals that are both small and big.
It’s easy to
get into a training routine in which you wake up, eat breakfast, go to work,
come home, eat dinner, watch TV, fall asleep and start all over again the next
day. This routine definitely starts draining your relationship and the
connection that you have with your partner. We have such busy schedules that
it’s even more important to take time in the mornings and reflect with your
partner. Focus on what brought you two together and appreciate that. It’s easy
to allow stress, frustration and distractions to get in the way of having a
happy relationship, but when you take the time in the mornings to love and
appreciate your partner, you are establishing a habit that is filled with
warmth, affection and care.
Take the time
to snuggle before starting your day and before going to bed. This can be as
simple as holding each other in bed for a few minutes before starting the day.
Did you know that physical touch releases a hormone called Oxytocin? The
more you experience physical touch with your partner, your oxytocin level
increases. After a long day of work, take time before going to bed and cuddle!
Excellent suggestions, my bare blogging buddy! Thank you! Both partners should have an equal chance to jointly agree to the new habits or routines. Much love and many naked hugs!
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