- Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
- Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
- Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
- Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
- Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
- Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
- Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
- Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.
- Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
- Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
- Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
- Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
- Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
- Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
- Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
- Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
- Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
- Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
- Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
- Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
- Father: A banker provided by nature.
- Criminal: A guy no different from the rest. Except that he got caught.
- Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
- Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
- Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
- Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
- Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
- Divorce: Future tense of marriage
- Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
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