Yesterday I sent a text message to everyone on my cell phone list asking the question: WOULD LIFE BE EASIER IF WE ONLY HAD OURSELVES TO LOOK OUT FOR? I asked this question because I wondered about me AND the persons in my life and how much of a burden it can be dealing with me. So I wanted them to imagine a LIFE WITHOUT ME…I didn’t ask them directly how they would feel without me in their lives; however I got a glimpse of who has no problem with the concept if it placed in their hands. As the messages rolled in, I quickly realized that my thoughts were wrong AND that I was merely processing the events that took place yesterday that made me realize that being unemployed takes such a toll an individual. As I sit and write this entry I recognize that I got caught up in examining what was going around me instead of really deeply examining myself. My deceiving thoughts had me near tears AND I felt so alone that all I wanted to do was hide. But I am glad that I didn’t because I soon noticed that if I had, I would have simply wash off the surface and NOT deal with what is truly going on within me. I guess living in a VERY appearance-oriented AND externally focused world, forces me @ times to place a lot of value on how my life look in order for me to determine how my life really feels. And I guess that is what today was…I lost track of my core AND felt dissociated, as if I am not fully awake, alive, OR grounded. The SURE sign that it's time to engage in the hard work of going deep within to rediscover the foundation of my life. So I hope that when I feel this way again I will remember this entry and draw strength from it. I know that pain comes AND goes; it is just one component to the grand cycle of life. And even though I may go through things when the odds are stacked HIGH against me, I MUST remember that I have to be challenge in order for me to grow AND that I should embrace my feelings AND let go of my hurt. It is obvious that I am HARD on myself which on some levels mean that I feel that I am NOT good enough…Which so is NOT the case; because I cannot image life without me why should I consider life without me for others?
Your question is very touchy when you asked: "Would Life be easier if we only had ourselves to look out for ? ". Amazing...First of all, Human can hardly live alone or lonely. He needs to socialize, to talk, work, and trying to find the best way to live not only survive.Friends are the best CHANNEL to guide us in difficult moments in life. The TRUE FRIEND will always be there to help, to listen, to understand, to try to find the solution to a problem or THE PROBLEM WITHOUT JUDGING. No, the human was not built by the SUPREME MASTER to live alone. Another problem is the person who seems to say our see no solution is usually the person who devotes his time and resources to help other and most of the time forgetting his own good.To conclude, I think the person MUST ASK FOR SUPPORT without be shy and trusting HIS TRUE FRIENDS.So, my thought is : GO AND ASK YOUR TRUE FRIENDS TO HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING AND TRY TO FIND THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM.Please trust your friends as your friends trust you. It works bot ways.I am your friend and I am there to listen, to understand and never judge.From a dear friend to a dear friend you are.S.
ReplyDeleteanother good post man. in the past few months i wondered the same things-life without me and looking out for myself only. I did make the mistake for a few years of my life by living it to help others. I have always wanted people to like me especially friends and family and co-workers because of my sexuality (wasn't that crazy). So i would ignore my problems/issues/concerns and deal with theirs-only to be left alone to handle mine-especially in my time of need. i had to re-evaluate my thoughts/actions/motives, etc. I also had to encourage myself because the best teacher is life. and i now know what i will and will not do and how i should and should not spend my time, efforts, energy and money (can i say money in 2008). not at all bitter but better for all of it.
ReplyDelete