I DON’T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE! Can someone tell me how a relationship can be fine one minute then change in a second? I ask this question because I was having a chat session with someone that I thought I could call a friend, but it turned out that he is just a mere acquaintance. Our chat session began with the normal pleasantries…the hellos and well wishes were exchanged; but they were replaced by questions AND bewilderment on my part. What started out so innocent quickly made me realize that I was having a conversation with someone that has obviously stayed away from because they didn’t get the outcome they desired where I was concerned. I don’t know about anyone else, but I was taught that if two persons were to go a journey they BOTH have to want it. Nevertheless, he is here asking me how my room-mate was doing when in fact he has his cell number and could send him a text and find out…but if he does that, that means that he is somehow he is tapping into my world and that would be terrible. RIGHT? I was just being a friend and he wanted something more, but his heart wasn’t in it and my heart wanted someone else. This situation QUICKLY reminded me of the persons that I’ve met that I NO longer have day-to-day contact with and it saddens me. Why is that if one doesn’t get what he OR she feels they should, they just distance themselves? Everyone say they want friendship, love AND acceptance but it turns out that they don’t. So when I point that out I end up being the boy on the playground that the other kids avoid. I know there is NO crystal ball to predict how things will turn out; but I have to wonder if somehow I am meant to be alone? I get that there are some people that will come along in life and stay for a while but I can’t help but wonder why that is? I can only wonder why we make friends, have family members OR fall in love to have to walk away from those relationships. And I can’t help but feel angry AND disappointed because of the silly notion that I am meeting folks that would somehow turn the community around. Foolish of me believed that as the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. I guess some child-like things never leave us huh? If only we realize that the expectations society ask of us are NOT what we need. It is ONLY when we are spiritual beings we can be free and NOT feel bound by the superficiality of this world. AS OF LATE I HAVE DECIDED TO CHOOSE TRUE CONNECTIONS & TAKE A SELFISH ATTITUDE WHEN IT COMES TO MY LIFE. I HAVE DECIDED TO PUT ME FIRST! THE FOLKS THAT I MEET TAKE SO MUCH OUT OF ME & LEAVE ME FEELING HALF OF WHAT I AM. MY EYE IS ON THE BIGGER PICTURE & I CAN’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS DO OR SAY. THOUGH I MAKE THIS PROMISE TO MYSELF, I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND…
I hope all works out for you.
ReplyDeleteDepends on the person, I guess. I'm in general happy-go-lucky and will make friends with just about everybody, even if the initial goal was more than friends. That, or I'm a glutton for punishment. lol.
ReplyDeleteLife is one big conundrum. As soon as you think you've got it figured it out, a curve ball will come from nowhere and knock you out. LOL. You gotta laugh though. My point is don't try to figure people out too much, you'll give yourself an aneurysm.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Taylor Siluwé [over thinking and aneurysm]I rarely quote my mom even thought I feels she really wise but the idea of the path that we take in life was explained to me by her first [although I've heard it over a few times] She said the road to success is the one least travelled and that you will meet few people there along the way she also incorporated in there that people are in you life for reasons, seasons and sometimes a lifetime. But I know what it feels like to be disappointed in someone you care about or have cared about and that's what I am taking from this post. And I must also say that there are people who have been disappointed in me and probably all of us and mostly that's a true sign that they care and I guess you care or else you wouldn't give a damn. It's a good thing to care. And hopefully all of us will soon enough get back on the road less travelled.
ReplyDeletewhat the hell are you talking about? I read (tried to) that post and can't make heads or tails out of your angst.
ReplyDelete