Luckily, there are a few guidelines
that every smart gay man should keep in mind to always stay on top of his game
and out of a dead-end relationship.
This is a
sure fire way to fall in love with the idea of him before getting to know him
at all. Texting too much before you meet can give a false sense of who someone
is through pithy jokes, cute one-liners, and the clever use of emoticons. Just
because someone can be funny in text or concoct the perfect reply to your
questions does not mean that you two are a match of any kind. Being charming
via text doesn’t always equate to having chemistry in person, and far too often
gay men read too much into text messaging only to be let down by the real
thing. Call him if you want to chat for a bit before meeting, but don’t
continue to text after you have made plans for the first date.
Plus you may want to save some things to talk about just in case you run into the dreaded awkward silence.
Your friends
are the constant in your life. They know the parts of you that take years to
learn. So if you bring a new beau around your gaggle before it’s the right
time, the side of you that he sees may surprise him. Or worse, what if he
absolutely loves your friends and the feeling is mutual? You may just be screwing
yourself into hanging out with someone that you aren’t really that into because
your buddy invited him to his birthday party or your best girlfriend wants him
to come to have a drink.
To be safe,
just keep it between the two of you until you are sure he’s a keeper.
Let’s be
honest, you probably can’t make it to the third. This isn’t about waiting a
certain amount of time before you know if he is the right one. It is about
making sure you like him enough to share a meal again before he gets you naked.
Having sex too soon can cheapen a first date into nothing more than a
long-winded hookup. There is nothing wrong with that if that’s what you want,
but don’t be surprised if he never calls you to schedule dinner at that Mexican
place you talked about.
The
boundaries of dating versus just sleeping together are easy to cross. So if you
are looking for something more than his Tuesday night regular, wait a beat
before hitting the sheets.
This may seem
like a no-brainer, but so many young gay men will often stretch the truth in
order to please the handsome stranger across the table. Maybe you lie about how
much you like to watch sports or pretend to know about whatever hipster band he
is rambling about. You may think it is harmless to feign interest in the things
he cares about, but it is surefire sign that you are not being true to who you
are. Any relationship you enter into this way is bound to have cracks of trust
that will inevitably grow into craters. When it comes to love and sex, just
remember that there are no white lies. Be honest, be open and never apologize
for the things that make you who you are.
Who cares if
you’d rather watch Real Housewives than Sunday night football,
anyway? Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.
You should go
into every date thinking that if he never wants to go out with you again, he
only did you a favor. Confidence is the sexiest thing any man can wear, and if
you believe that you are worthy of love, it should not matter if the man across
the table isn’t that into you. Be daring in your love life and willing to take
the plunge, but never, ever, be desperate for a boyfriend.
If you do not
know that you are better off being happy by yourself than miserable with the
wrong man, then you need to take the time to get to know yourself. If you do
not know your worth, then you can never be sure if you are someone because he
makes you happy or if you are just unhappy alone. Break every rule in the
dating handbook if you want, just so long as you never question how much you
are worth.
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